Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
"Nicole, you never were in love with someone else, were you?"
I stared up at him, wanting to tell him— wanting to tell him the truth. If Atreyu ever admitted he loved you aloud, he would die. The Empress's words unexpectedly flashed through my mind as the cold hand of fear gripped my heart. Helplessly I stared at the ground, tears brimming in my eyes. But I couldn't keep lying to him.
Everybody wants to be loved,
Every once in a while.
We all need someone to hold on to,
Just like a helpless child. Yeah.
Can you whisper in my ear?
Let me know it's all right.
I hadn't meant to fall in love with him. In fact I used to hate him. When he first came to our world, my brother, Bastion, totally ignored me and spent all of his time with Atreyu! There were nights when I had no idea where they were. Since Bastion and I had moved out of our parents' home and were sharing an apartment, the boys came and went as they pleased, but they never included me.
A few years ago this wouldn't have bothered me. That was the year Bastion and his father, Barney, joined my family by Barney marrying my mother. Because I was scared of Mom and Barney getting a divorce like my real parents had, I treated Bastion cruelly, not wanting to get too close. However, a fantasy book called "The Never-ending Story," which turned out to be a portal to the world Fantasia, Atreyu's world, which Bastion had brought back to life when he was younger, fell into the hands of the school bullies and they began wrecking havoc everywhere. This forced Bastion and I to become unlikely allies and work together to save both our world and Fantasia. In the process we became friends and over the last few years our relationship has deepened.
Now, after all that hard work, it seemed like it had been for nothing. Bastion didn't care. Well, if that's how he wanted it, fine. Burying my feelings, I took on more classes than I could handle. Because of the heaps of homework, I rarely slept, ate, or saw Bastion.
But I couldn't hide forever. One day when I stumbled down the stairs, exhausted, Bastion pointed out the dark circles under my eyes and the unhealthy amount of weight I had lost. Refusing to talk to him, I angrily shoved him away and took off for school.
For several weeks I avoided Bastion, but I still missed all the times we used to spend together. While walking around the mall, I enviously watched the older brothers looking out for their sisters. Bastion had been the brother I always wanted. Whenever I needed to talk, he was there. Whenever I needed advice, he was there. Whenever I needed comfort, he was there. Whenever I needed a friend, he was there.
Atreyu ruined all of that.
Confused by my uncharacteristic behavior, Bastion repeatedly tried to talk to me. Finally one night he caught me, coming home from school. Cornered and unable to contain my feelings anymore, I shoved him backwards, screaming,
"What do you care? You're not even around anymore." My gaze flickered as I glared and pointed at Atreyu. "You're always with him!"
Then without looking back at Bastion, I spun around and stormed into my room, disappearing for the remainder of the evening. For several days he couldn't even look at me; my words had cut deeper than I thought they would.
As his twenty-fifth birthday drew nearer, a couple of his friends recruited Atreyu and I to help with the surprise party preparations. At the thought of working with Atreyu, I almost refused, but I swallowed my pride and agreed. Maybe this would provide me with me an opportunity to smooth things over with Bastion.
While working together, Atreyu and I began spending more time together, allowing me to learn about his past. His name, which means son of all, matched his growing up years. Since both his parents were killed, his entire village raised him from a young age. Unconsciously over the next few weeks, I grew to respect him, which later developed into a friendship.
The day of Bastion's party arrived and we successfully surprised him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore the fleeting looks of longing he repeatedly cast my way. Finally I pulled him aside and completely broke down, confessing my fear of being replaced. Shocked, he had wrapped his arms around me and explained that no one could take my place in his heart. I smiled, feeling a wave of relief at being reunited.
Over the next few weeks Atreyu and I grew even closer and my heart opened up to him. Realizing this, I repeatedly tried to deny my feelings. We were just friends, right?
It's been a long time coming down this road,
And now I know,
What I've been waiting for.
And like a lonely highway, I'm trying to get home. Ooo
Loves been a long time coming.
Then the Child-like Empress arrived. She had come to take Atreyu back. However, they didn't leave right away. While there, the Empress noticed the obvious attraction between Atreyu and I and confronted me. At first I didn't know how to respond, but as I thought about it, I realized I had fallen in love with Atreyu. But she crushed my hopes by revealing a dark secret—if Atreyu ever admitted his love for me aloud, he would die.
I couldn't let that happen.
Unfortunately Atreyu complicated matters by approaching me later and asking me to come with him. He wanted me to come live in Fantasia…with him! Unable to contain the joyous smile spreading across my face, my heart had leapt. Then I recalled the Empress's words. This would kill him, I reminded myself. Turning away, I did the only thing I knew to save him—I lied to him. I lied and said I loved someone else. Horrified, he had stumbled away, a heart-wrenching expression creeping across his face. Swiftly my hand had come up and covered my mouth as I turned and fled the room, crying bitterly.
Sleep eluded me that night, as I repeatedly saw the look of bleeding betrayal in his eyes. Not knowing what else to do, I confided in Bastion. During our conversation, the Empress suddenly burst in, her glassy eyes wide with fright.
Atreyu was gone, missing.
Again, I felt fear's cold hand gripping my heart as I grabbed my keys and sprinted out to my car. I knew where to find him. Ever since I had shown him my secret hideout, he constantly visited it.
As I pulled up and killed the engine, I spotted him lying on his back, staring up at the stars with his hands gathered behind his head. His T-shirt, jostled by the wind, rippled over his body. Hesitantly I got out and began making my way into a small alcove, surrounded by pine trees. Not too far away, a lake gleamed in the moonlight, the water lapping gently across the sandy beach. As a slight breeze whistled through, a few flowers drifted down from the branches and floated on the water.
Suddenly I didn't know what to say. I had been so worried about him. He must have heard me, although I had been walking quietly, because he instantly sat up and peered searchingly in my direction. Spotting me, his expression became neutral. When I mentioned how his disappearance had scared me, a small amount of hope had reflected in his eyes.
Shaking myself out of my reverie and trying not to think about the painful events that had occurred over the past several months, I forced myself back to reality and his question. A question I couldn't, wouldn't, and refused to answer.
"I wish…I wish things could have been different," I heard myself whisper, staring up at him, a stab of pain tearing through my heart. "I wish it so much."
Brokenly I turned away. I had to let him go. He belonged in Fantasia and I…my place was here. What we had…it couldn't go anyway. It would lead us down a path neither of us could travel and I wasn't willing to risk his life like that.
Swiftly I pressed my hand over my mouth as an image of Atreyu holding another girl in his arms flashed before my eyes. Why did fate have to be so cruel? I wanted this. I had wanted someone to love me for so long. And when I finally found him, we were torn apart. This wasn't fair. I loved him!
"No!" Atreyu suddenly cried out.
Before I could go any further, his fingers closed around my arm. Hesitantly, I glanced over my shoulder back at him and a lump formed in my throat at the expression of distress in his eyes.
"Nicole…I have to know."
Swallowing hard, my eyes flickered back and forth, an inward battle raging within my heart. Tell him! A voice in the back of my mind screamed. Tell him! I wanted too. However, the image from a reoccurring, haunting dream of him lying in my arms and staring up at me with lifeless eyes flashed unbidden through my memory, sealing my lips. Unconscious tears slowly began making their way down my cheeks.
"Nicole, please look at me," he whispered, sounding so close.
Feeling him moving closer, I instinctively moved backwards, avoiding the hand he had raised to my face. Small beads of sweat prickled my forehead as I continued to back away. Suddenly I felt my back pressed against the trunk of a tree. Atreyu stood directly in front of me, trapping me. Uneasily my hands shook as depression settled over me. Why couldn't he just leave me along?
His hands slowly crept up and surrounded my face. As his disconsolate eyes searched mine, his expression darkened with confusion. For a brief moment, he stared down at me, specks of worry mixed with fear, pain, anguish, and despair shone in his eyes. I swallowed; my throat had gone dry. I had done this to him. I was the cause of his suffering. If I hadn't lied to him…Don't do this to me, Atreyu.
As if in slow motion, he leaned forward and tilted his face to the side, his lips dangerously coming close to mine. Unable to move, I stood there mesmerized, spellbound, and enchanted.
"Atreyu, please…don't…" I pleaded, my voice barely a whisper.
His lips crashed against mine, silencing my pleas. I gave a startled gasp and pushed against his chest, my attempts growing weaker by the minute. His grip tightened. Instinctively, my body began responding to his caresses. Feeling an overpowering urge to hold onto something, I wrapped my arms around his waist, emitting of groan of pleasure from the back of his throat.
Unwillingly, my resolve to push him away crumbled. This felt so right. As I began relaxing against his touch, I quickly caught myself as once again the image of him dying in my arms appeared before my eyes. I couldn't do this. It would kill him. Crying out, I pulled away.
"What's wrong?" he exclaimed, stricken by my sudden scream. Quickly he seized my hands, restraining me from fleeing.
I continuously shook my head, unable to form a coherent answer. Slowly he brought his hand up to touch my face. I flinched as numerous tears trickled down my cheeks. I wouldn't be the cause of his death. I couldn't, wouldn't do that.
"I won't be the cause of your death," I whispered fiercely to myself.
Hearing my softly spoken promise, his brow wrinkled in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"I won't be the cause of your death!" I repeated more forcefully, straining against his grasp, but he wouldn't let go.
"I don't understand—"
Why did he have make this harder by pretending not to understand? Didn't he understand how much this situation was already cutting into my bleeding heart? Turning my face towards the ground, I felt my heart withering, but I had to do this. It was the only way to save him.
"I'm sorry, Atreyu, but you and I…" I took a deep breath and prayed for strength before continuing, "it's just not meant to be. You don't belong here."
He stiffed as if I had slapped him. A lump once again rose in my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, unsuccessfully struggling to keep my voice from breaking. I glanced back at him and watched the devastation, caused by my words, transform his features. Quickly I looked away.
"We can't be together."
Although my words had been spoken softly, he heard every one.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
I stared up at him, the moonlight illuminating my tear-stained cheeks. "The Empress told me what would happen if you…if we…"
"If I fell in love with a human child?" he stated rather than asked numbly, releasing my hands as he took a step backwards.
I nodded, moving away and wrapping my arms around my middle. Overhead, the moon tinted the area with a silvery glow. Twinkling stars blanketed the midnight sky as a slight breeze whistled through the treetops. Why did things have to become so complicated? Why did I have to fall in love with him? Him, a Fantasian, of all people! Why did this have to happen? It would never work, because we were from different worlds.
His slow and even approaching footsteps stopped behind me and I jumped as his hands came to rest on my shoulders, turning me around to face him. Tenderly, he wiped away the remaining dampness from my eyes, causing fresh tears to fall.
"I don't want lose you," I whispered to myself, brokenly.
"Come here."
Atreyu held his arms out and I fell into them willingly, burying my face in his chest. Gently, he wrapped his arms around my waist, cradling me against his body. Tenderly, he smoothed back my hair and rested his chin on top of my head, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. My throat tightened at his actions. Clinging to him, two tears squeezed out of the corner of my eyes and trickled down my cheeks, seeping through his shirt.
You can love for a lifetime,
You can love for a day.
You can think you've got everything,
But everything is nothing when you throw it away. Yeah.
Then you look in my eyes,
And I have it all again.
Growing up, I, like most girls, had had crushes on several guys in my school. Over and over I watched my friends date, giving themselves away only to return with a bruised, shattered heart. Weeks later they found new boyfriends, only to repeat the painful cycle. When I was younger I could never understand these emotions.
No matter where I went, I saw them. In the mall, around campus, on the streets, holding hands, hugging, kissing, or cuddling. It suddenly had occurred to me one day while enviously watching all the couples strolling along, while so many emotions coursed through my mind, that everyone had someone to love and hold onto; yet here I was, alone. No one cared about what happened to me. Unconsciously more and more tears rolled down my cheeks. Pressing my lips together, I fought to squelch the sobs waiting to erupt from my throat. For so long, I had longed for what they had. I wanted to be loved.
However, no one wanted me.
Often I talked about my growing confusion with Mom, explaining how worthless and unwanted I felt. Although a few guys had shown an interest in me, it never lasted very long. The first guy I ever seriously liked, who I believed returned my feelings, invited me to a lock-in. Feeling so excited I allowed my imagination to run wild, setting myself up for disappointment. At the lock-in, my crush ignored me, leaving me along in a crowd of people I didn't know.
Then later that night, we were watching a movie, but he got up and left. When he didn't come back, I left, looking for him. Unknowingly I walked into another room and froze. There, sitting on the steps, was my crush with his arms tucked contently around another girl. It might have been a trick of the light, but I swear I saw his eyes widen.
From then on I often wondered if I would ever find someone to love. My mother always told me to be patient. Love would come when I least expected it. But I wanted what my parents had—an everlasting relationship with someone who cares for me. And now when I finally had the chance to experience that kind of love, it's taken away, stolen from me.
Although I've tried to ignore, deny, fight my growing feelings towards him, I can't…I can't make myself let him go.
I was in too deep.
"I'm not going back to Fantasia."
I gasped, his words, like the cold ice cubs Bastion used to slip down the back of my shirt during the summer, snapped me back to reality. Terrified, I stared up at him, wide-eyed. Did he realize…understand what he was doing?
"I won't let you sacrifice your life for me!" I exclaimed, pushing against his chest, but he barely moved an inch.
"Some sacrifices are worth it," he spoke quietly, his voice slightly husky as he gripped my hands and pulled me closer. "Nicole—"
I pressed a finger against his lips, cutting off his words. I couldn't let him do this…I wouldn't let him die. Shouldn't Atreyu get a say in who he falls in love with? Unexpectedly Bastion's words to me when I had told him about my dilemma earlier this evening flashed through my mind, but I pushed them away.
"Atreyu, please don't…please don't do this to me. Your place is in Fantasia and mine's here. I wish things could be different, I wish it with all my heart. But let's face it. What we have…it…it can't go anywhere."
Pain flared up in his devastated eyes as he gazed down at me. "I'll never see you again, will I?" he managed to say after several false starts.
Slowly I shook my head, my heart breaking from the searing, heart-wrenching pain reflected in his eyes—an expression that I'm sure my face mirrored—as I struggled to control the continuous tears falling from my eyes.
This is a dream. This is a dream. I continuously chanted in my head as Bastion, the Empress, Atreyu, and I walked down a paved path, which ran all the way to a thick forest behind our home, towards a place where the Empress and Atreyu could safely transport back to Fantasia. When he first came to our world, he had worn earthling clothes, as he called them, to blend in, but since he was leaving, he had changed back into his yellow hunting outfit, with a matching headband, with something that resembled a graduation tassel dangling down the side of his face. His quiver of arrows was once again slung over his back. An awkward silence hung in the air that none of us wanted to break.
Overhead, the sun shone brightly, the rays penetrating through the branches and cast leafy shadows across the ground. A light breeze blew lifeless leaves across our path. The ground suddenly slopped downwards and I had to catch my balance as we slowly began making our descent. Glancing at Atreyu I tried to gauge his feelings, hardly hearing the cheerful chirping of the birds. A warm and still air settled around us; occasionally a chipmunk scurried across our path and broke the silent spell, but otherwise it was pretty quiet.
Absently I shook my head, unable to believe this was actually happening. Tears threatened to fall, but I refused to let them. Feeling an unexpected pressure surrounding my fingers, I glanced down to find Atreyu's hand entwined with mine. Hesitantly I lifted my eyes, meeting his concerned gaze. He smiled reassuringly, but I couldn't return the gesture. A stab of pain tore through my heart as I returned my gaze to the ground. It hurt too much to look at him, knowing we could never be together.
As we neared our destination, I looked back at the Empress and Bastion trailing behind us, walking so close to each other that their shoulders brushed. Her shimmering bluish white gown accented the glittering crown on her head, while her golden blonde hair fell down her back in elegant curls. Bastion's clothes, old, faded jeans and a green polo shirt, and his spiky blonde hair, contrasted with the Empress's fancy outfit. But it didn't matter that they were dressed differently. Catching the fleeting looks of longing in their eyes, I knew that no matter what they said, he and the Empress shared a special chemistry.
However, the Child-like Empress could never fall in love. If she did, Fantasia would die. In her world, she was more than a ruler. She was the heart; she was the center of all Fantasian life. A little while ago, Bastion had explained to me that taking her away would be like taking away someone's heart. None of the Fantasian creatures would survive.
Despite their denials, something has been developing and growing between them due to all the times Bastion has saved Fantasia. Rescued the Empress actually. Although he claimed he didn't have any feelings for her, I'm not so sure.
Abruptly Atreyu turned to his right, snapping me out of my thoughts. Silently he led me over to a small patch of trees in full bloom, their branches fanning out over our heads in an umbrella fashion. Splotches of leafy shadows littered the ground. The grass blades quivered, touched by the whispering winds. As he turned to face me, I couldn't meet his gaze. I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to fight it anymore. An uncertain silence settled between us as we stood there, the wind causing our hair to float around our faces, while Atreyu held my hands in his.
"I never thought I'd really have to say good-bye," I whispered, breaking the silence as I kept my gaze on the ground.
"I know," he agreed as he let go of one of my hands and cupped the side of face. Gently, tilting my face up towards his, his thumb absently caressed my skin. "Nicole…you know it doesn't, it doesn't have to be this way."
My vision blurred. "No, Atreyu, we already discussed this. This is how things have to be. You're going back to Fantasia like you should and I'm staying here…like I should."
"I'm really going to miss you," he told me, his voice barely audible, as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
"I'm going to miss you too," I replied is a choked whispered, my arms encircling his neck. "Promise me one thing."
"What it is?"
"Don't forget me."
A faint smile touched his lips as he reached down and tucked a lose strand of red hair behind my ear. "How could I? There's no one else in the world like you, Nicole."
Unable to stop myself, I reached up, stroked his cheek, and trailed my fingers across his face, memorizing it. His eyes, as they followed my every movement, pleaded, begging me not to make him leave. Although I couldn't deny him anything, I couldn't, wouldn't allow him to give up his life, just to stay with me. His own needs outweighed my own selfish desires and wants.
It's been a long time coming down this road,
And now I know,
What I've been waiting for.
And like a lonely highway, I'm trying to get home. Oh.
Loves been a long time coming.
Uncertainly, I stood up on my toes and pressed my lips against his. His hands fell limply to his sides as he responded, but neither of us felt the spark we had generated the previous night.
Slowly, I pulled my lips away from his and met his sorrowful eyes, as I placed a hand on his chest and pushed him away. I knew if I didn't leave now, I would make him take me with him.
"Good-bye Atreyu," I whispered brokenly and then physically tore myself away from him, hurling myself down the paved pathway, out of his life, forever.
"Nicole!" he called after me. Refusing to answer, I continued running, trying to ignore the emptiness and desperation seeping through his voice. "Nicole, wait."
Unwillingly my feet stopped and I reluctantly turned towards him, my eyes urging him to stop. He had to let me go. While holding my gaze, he shook his head, quietly begging, pleading, praying I wouldn't leave. As I awkwardly stood there, indecisive, he took a few hesitant steps towards me.
Shifting my gaze, I glanced over his shoulder and saw Bastion and the Empress watching us, pained expressions flickering across their faces. Both knew and understood how hard this was for me to push Atreyu away after all that he had meant to me. For a brief moment I considered abandoning all caution and telling Atreyu how I felt—telling him the truth. However, in that moment I glanced at the Empress and recalled her plaguing words. I flinched. What was I thinking? If I did do that, Atreyu's life could be destroyed.
Feeling his approach, I sadly met his longing gaze, held up my hands, and slightly shook my head. I couldn't take it anymore. Anguish flared up in his eyes as I mouthed, "I'm sorry" before wrenching myself away. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I raced back blindly towards the safety of my home and didn't look back.
Stumbling into my room, I collapsed face down across my bed. This isn't fair! I thought to myself. This isn't what I wanted! Curling up into a ball and tucking my knees under my chin, I retreated deep into my mind where I could escape the heartache. Unheard screams threatened to engulf my consciousness, as my heart bled from unseen wounds. Nothing would ever be the same. The apartment, which had housed four people for so long, now seemed so empty, so barren, so lonely with Atreyu and the Empress gone.
Gone.
Didn't know I was lost,
Till you found me. Uh-huh.
Didn't know I was blind,
But now I see.
My throat tightened as I pressed a hand over my mouth. Unnoticed tears leaked down my cheeks. Atreyu! Atreyu, don't leave me. Come back. Repeatedly the hurt expression on his face continuously haunted my mind, slowly torturing me. He's gone.
"Gone," I sobbed to myself aloud, burying my face in my arms.
Clenching my eyes shut, I clutched my bed sheets in tight wads, the suffering gathering in my heart intensifying. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did things have to change? Why did life have to become so complicated? Numerous questions clouded my mind—ones I couldn't answer.
A soft, tentative tapping on my door woke me up from my thoughts.
"Nicole? Nicole, please let me in," a voice begged.
Assuming it was my brother I pressed my face against my pillow, not wanting to see anyone.
"Go away, Bastion," I called out, my voice hoarse and muffled.
He didn't listen. Hearing my doorknob twisting, I angrily slammed my fist down. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? As the door creaked open, slow and uncertain footsteps began making their way towards my bed. Hoping he would leave, I kept my back to him. Maybe he would think I was asleep.
"Hey Nicole."
That voice—one I hadn't heard in so long. One I never thought I'd heard again. I nearly fell off my bed as I hurriedly sat up, blinking rapidly. Slowly, I shook my head, unable to believe it. This couldn't be real. Unconsciously my mouth fell open.
He was supposed to be in Fantasia.
Disbelievingly, I swung my feet over the edge, slid off my bed, and took a step forward, then another and another. Unable to help it, I suddenly found myself running as I threw my arms around his neck, tears freely spilling down my cheeks. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer as he buried his face in the crook of my neck, laying a light kiss on my shoulder.
"You're real," I gasped, still unable to believe it, as I reached up and tenderly ran my fingers through his long, ebony hair. "You're real. You came back."
"I never left."
"But Atreyu," I exclaimed, pulling back, "y-you can't. You'll—"
He pressed a finger against my lips. "Shh-shh. I'm not going to die, not in the sense you're thinking anyway. The Empress meant it in a figuratively way. What she meant was if I ever told you I loved you then I would become a human child…forever."
"But how is that possible? How could a Fantasian suddenly become a human child?"
He shrugged. "I can't explain it any better than that, Nicole. Some things in Fantasia are unexplainable."
"But…it was your home—"
"My home is with you," he whispered, touching my face with his fingertips.
Can you whisper in my ear?
Let me know it's all right.
Leaning forward, he lightly pressed his lips against mine. Involuntarily my eyes closed. Releasing my waist, his hands crept up and surrounded my face, massaging my cheeks with his thumbs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. As he slowed the kiss down to a caress, he brushed the hair off my face. Slowly, as if waking up from a dream, I opened my eyes and stared up at him, breathing heavily. I noticed he was a little out of breath too. A slight tremor rippled through my body as he tenderly traced my lower lip with his fingertip.
"Can you ever go back?" I asked quietly.
"Not as Atreyu," he replied, stroking my hair. "I'll just be another human child like Bastion. No one will remember me as Atreyu. In their minds I'll be dead."
Silently I stared up at him, awed and overwhelmed by what he had done. What he had done for me. What he had given up for me. "You…you gave up your entire life to stay with me. Why?"
"Some sacrifices are worth it. Nicole…" he paused, cupping the side of my face, his eyes transfixed on my face. "I love you. I love you very, very much."
The sincerity in his voice stole my breath away. I stared up at him, a mixture of happiness and doubt blazing in my eyes. Speechless, I searched his eyes for any doubt, but I didn't find any.
"Really?" I asked, my voice cracking.
It's been a long time coming down this road,
And now I know what I've been searching for.
Ooo, it's been a long, long highway, and now I see.
Oh, love's been a long time,
Oh, been a long time
He nodded and I collapsed against his chest. His arms tightened around me as he lowered himself to ground, leaning up against my bed. As he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, I laid my head contently on his shoulder, feeling him kiss the side of my face. Tenderly, his fingers caressed the sensitive skin on my arm below the edge of my sleeve. Turning my face towards him, I whispered,
"I love you too, Atreyu."
At my confession, he lowered his face and claimed my lips. Feeling it deepened, I realized I had found what I had been searching and waiting for the last twenty-one years—a special love bond that no one could ever severe.
Love's been a long time coming
Author's Note: So what did you think? The song, Long Time Coming, is sung by Oliver James and can be found on the "What A Girl Wants" soundtrack. It's a beautiful song. Please R&R.