I can't believe I'm back on haven't been on in so long.God, this feels great.

All I can say is that this chapter is relatively short, seeing as it's the introduction. Expect alot more updates too (I finally have my life somewhat organized. Not really, but humor me and pretend I do).

Disclaimer:Obiviously, I don't own Naruto...Dahahahadada...Nor Etnies, cheeriohs, or any of the other name brand crap in this fic.

Warnings: Right now, just stay on the worrying about cursing. Sex comes later, un!

Chapter I- The Cheerioh Song

It wasn't anything fancy, really. Just one of those soft, red little squeaky dolls that suits always got on their desks for their supposed "stress relief".

Psh...yeah...Like there was such a thing as true "relief" from stress.

It made Kakuzu pissed off, and he growled as his arm almost mechanically (habitually ) threw the red doll across the room. A light, dull thud rang throughout the near empty apartment.

There was a satisfying squeak as the plastic abomination, with it's mocking yellow smile (Oh, GOD how it mocked him!) made a final bounce before lying (still as death) on the hard, white tiled floor. A small growl of frustration hit from deep back in his throat.

The type of growl you imagine as a little kid that a horrible monster would make right before it killed you...Or something like that. He had heard that it was a good thing to let your stress go. A great thing to let your anger free.

The thought of all that bull shit made him want to give something a good beating, it pissed him off so fucking BAD!

...Not that it mattered to anybody else... He was ALWAYS pissed off.

Always.

At least, that's what Deidara and that little blonde prat he always let tag along (Naruto or something of the other, if he remembered correctly). He couldn't keep it all from showing like they did, oh so fucking perfectly.

Of course, he understood that it made more sense to just confront his issues, or to not let other people see that he was upset, but he just wasn't one of those people. He had been raised being told that virtually everything he did was a great and terrible sin. Sin should not be forgiven and couldn't be forgiven by anyone else than God, right?

That was partially the reason he hated his brother's religion. Hidan, of course, was totally infatuated with the idea of Jesus's second coming and what not. He shuddered at the memory of his oh-so-ingenious brother's vehement denial that anything was the least bit off about Kakuzu (including forgetting that his parents threatened to disown his younger brother, should he not accept their religion).

After all, it's not like abandoning his so-called "one true faith" that he'd been shoved into and forced to accept and revere would make him a heretic or something. That was just silly.

And if you believed that last sentence, you are a fucking moron.

Kakuzu looked around the apartment. Cheap plates were smashed everywhere, two or three flower vases pathetic existences ended in smithereens on top of the dryer and such. Yet this was his loving, comforting abode.

This was where he lay his head down at night ( after being drugged up on pain relievers or Benadryil), this was where "home" was. At least for the next two months.

Wrapping his dark brown hair up in a curious fashion (he wrapped it in a silk scarf which was bobby pinned underneath his bandanna), and donning his sunglasses, Kakuzu stepped out the door.

He had a horrid feeling that this day was going to be just like the rest of his life. Superficially happy, in a place he barely knew (despite living there for the better part of his life), living one big lie, constantly told to shut up and keep it in.

Slinging a back pack over his shoulder, he could only pray to whatever deiety there was (that might actually listen) that he wouldn't lose his temper.

Taking a deep breath, Kakuzu stepped out the door, and began a long, solemn walk to his first day of college at Konoha University.

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"CHEERIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS ARE A MAN'S BESSSSSSSSSSSSSSST FRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!" (1)

Naruto sang triumphantly. Deidara had dropped out of harmony about two minutes ago, and yet the two blondes sang on, out of key, with Sasori's twitching growing ever more apparent.

The red head seethed in the driver's seat, trying desperately not to strangle his beloved boyfriend, Deidara (who was so out of key it wasn't even funny, not to mention there was always an obligatory "un!" at the end of each verse) and his half brother , Naruto (who was also horribly off key, but didn't feel the need to add any unnessasary words to the already horrible lyrics).

'Focus on the road, Sasori.' He told himself,in a last ditch attempt to save what was left of his already severly diminished sanity. 'Think happy thoughts. Marilyn Manson songs...Korn...Metallica...Oooh...Master of the Puppets!'

Sasori's facial features relaxed somewhat as the boy focused on his beloved song lyrics. After finding he was done with that song, he moved on to humming Thousand Foot Krutch's "Puppet".

"...Cut your strings and be free with me!"

Deidara and Naruto both focused their blue, bisque doll eyes towards Sasori as he belted out the lyrics, hitting every note in perfect sync and tone. Sasori's voice died as he realised that both of the blondes had just heard him singing. This was not good. No, not good.

"Erm, so, Deidara, I hear you and Naruto are taking Chemistry and Art majors?" he began nervously. Of course, Sasori wasn't that oh-so-merciful god in the heavens, so he could not prevent the inevitable from happening. His question went unnoticed as Deidara tackle hugged him from the passenger's seat. "DANNA! YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD SINGER! HOW COME YOU NEVER SING FOR ME!"(2) he demanded, squeezing the beejeezus out of Sasori.

"Deidar-a...I-breathe-Drive-Can't!" he gasped to get the words out while desperately trying to maintain control of the car.

Thankfully, the Naruto kid wasn't as much of an annoying retard as Sasori thought he was, and thankfully pried Deidara off of Sasori. Regaining control of the steering wheel (and his breathing), the trio came upon a plush manor, to which any normal person would have thought was a mansion. Driving up to the white washed parking lot, green, freshly cut grass, tasteful red brick buildings, ivy, vines, flowers, sculptures, and fountains could be seen for acres all around.

A large red brick plaque outside the black gate around the huge place read:

"Konoha High- Jabier Hel"

They all split into wide grins at the familiar motto, giggling respectively. It was true about the translation being so very contradictory with the truth of how the school actually was.

"Jabier Hel" translated respectively to "Light covers all". However, it was common among the students to belive in the true translation "Brightness hides everything". It was most certainly true that it was quite hypocritical, seeing as most of the student population here had more than one dark shadow following them.

Nonetheless, all students were delighted to be here once again, seeing as most of them came directly from Konoha Highschool (an estate about twelve miles down the road from Konoha University).

Sasori, Deidara, and Naruto got out of the car, surveying the area.

"Wow, I SO pity the losers who don't get to live on campus for the first two months,UN!" (3) Deidara shouted enthusiastically. Sasori peered over at him from under his matted crimson bangs. "Be careful who you say that to, koi." He warned, giving Deidara a light flick on his sumptous golden mane, "People like my cousin happen to be some of those people."

Deidara's lip stuck out in a little pout. "At least we have two months to ourselves, un." he huffed moodily. Naruto rolled his cerulean eyes. "Sasori-san, I'm going to meet up with you later, I've got to go find Sasuke!" the blonde smiled.

"Oh, by all means." Sasori smirked, "Go and have a good sweaty thump with that emo little man whore of yours."

Naruto promptly flicked Sasori off, turning a violent shade of magenta. "Just remember to come back for your luggage, Naru-chan!" he reminded him with a smug chuckle, picking Deidara (who was now in a violent fit off laughter) up off the ground.

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Naruto kept running till he came onto one of the magnificently engraved maps of the school on an iron plaque. "Four B! Yes!" he whispered excitedly to himself.Whirling around on his orange and black Etnies, Naruto slammed face first into something warm. And hard. And breathing.

"Lost?" a smooth voice inquired.

Naruto looked up (seeing as he had landed flat on his ass) to see the most disturbingly angelic figure before him. Tall, muscular, and lithe, with tanned skin that still held the ever present undertones of paleness to it. A black, fitted tee shirt with a green circle in the middle, with a triangle inside of the circle.

He wore a rosary around his neck, the silver beads complementing the pale, silvery blonde hair, slicked back down to the nape of his graceful neck. A pair of strong set legs were dug into the ground firmly, black and red Nike's donned on a pair of massive feet to suit the large frame of the man.

Laughing lightly, the boy brushed a bit of dust off of his acid washed jeans before offering a large, decidedly masculine hand to Naruto.

If it hadn't been for his size and his hands, Naruto decided the man would've been pretty enough to be one SERIOUSLY hot chick. He took the hand offered him, noting the comforting warmth of the other man's skin (Sasori had kept the car at,like 20 degrees BELOW ZERO!).Naruto looked up to the man's face. "Tha-" He froze.

The man had the most startling shade of violet eyes that Naruto had ever seen in his entire life.

"Earth to blondie...Come in Sunshine." the man smiled, waving the other hand in front of Naruto's face gently. "I-Your- They..." Naruto sounded like a complete retard, even to himself. God damn it, he had never even had this much trouble talking to even Sasuke before! And he was Naruto's first crush!

"I'm so sorry." the man apologised, his voice a warm ripple of rich words. "Did I frighten you, Sunshine?" Naruto didn't even mind the name. It was one of the few times where the man could've called him "Dumbass", and Naruto would've kissed him for it, so long as he was still talking to Naruto, and only Naruto.

Finally, he shook himself out of the lovesick (Love?) stupor, and responded. "No, it's just...you're eyes are very...erm...Unique..." he mumbled. To his great pleasure, the man didn't seem put off in the least. Actually, his face relaxed, turning into an expression of contentment. "Oh, I'm so glad." he stated. "You see...I tend to...frighten people."

He gave Naruto a sly smile, his violet eyes taking in every inch of the boy, from his worn out blue jeans to his bright neon orange teeshirt that had a picture of Weird Al Yanchovick on the front of it, to his gold choker with a blue vile and orange beads.

"I don't think you could ever do that..." Naruto said dreamily.

The man smiled even wider, before pressing his lips gently on Naruto's. The kiss only lasted for a second or two, but Naruto felt fire crackers going off on his lips. Suddenly, the warm, soft lips drew back.

The man turned on his heel and, without a single glance back said, "I'm Hidan, by the way. See ya' around." Naruto watched as he retreated down a cobblestone pathway, and stood there for the next fifteen minutes, the warm, pleasant tingle of the fire cracker kiss hot on his lips.

"Hidan..." he whispered as the warm September air took his breath away.

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Sasori looked over to Deidara, satisfied. It had taken them thirty minutes, but they were all settled into their dorm room.

We shall omit the fact that the actual moving only took about ten of those thirty minutes, and also the fact that both of the couple's lips were considerably more red and swollen than previously seen.

Taking the opportunity of Deidara finally being tired (and, therefore, collapsing on the couch while he mumbled randomly in his sleep of chocolate covered hippopotamuses), Sasori decided to stroll about the campus for a few minutes. He enjoyed the multi colored leaves in the trees, and also the fair fall air.

Suddenly, a loud "THUD!" sounded out on the briefly tranquil moment in Sasori's evening.

The red head ran over to a particularly large elm tree, noting that the sound was coming from something that had landed on it's back from a very high branch. "Fuck..." a smooth voice came from under a pile of magnificent golden leaves.

Sasori kicked the pile roughly. "I told you you shouldn't climb trees till you can see properly again." he said annoyedly.

"Ooh...Scary doctor! Whatcha' going to do, confiscate my retnas?"

"I might you little fucker!"

"Whore."

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"Cock-sucker."

"Dick licker."

"Child molester!"

"Pedophile!"

"Sex Doll!"

"Why thank you for that keen observation, Itachi." Sasori huffed moodily.

Itachi climbed up from under the pile of leaves and, slinging a pale arm around Sasori laughed airily. "What are friends for?"

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Like it? Love it? Hate it? Got any suggestions? I'd love to hear 'em, so reveiw if you'd like something done or changed, and I'll see what I can do!

1) The cheerioh song was brought on by an FMA skit my brother, my friend Dei and I came up with. It is required that you sing it horribly off key.

2)Deidara can sing, but he is more of the screamer metal singer, as opposed to the normal rock singer.

3) Some of the student's don't go into dorms until 2 months after school starts. The students who immediately get into a dorm are required to have been either in Konoha high or Konoha University the year previous (because their information is alreay in the data base).