The Hazards of Passing Butterflies

HEY! Wazzap! It's me! The Ropponmatsu IV! I Love SUGAR! YAYA! This is my first Excel Saga fanfic… but certainly not my first fanfic! Yeah so w/e have fun!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN EH-CHAN OR HER BELOVED LITTLE FRIENDS (Ha-Chan, El-Chan or Menchi-sensei!) Though I wish I did!

Caution: Do not read this if you are faint of heart, pregnant, prone to peeing when you laugh, prone to convulsions or hiss at the bashing of a certain female character from YuGiOh –cough-Tea-cough- if so then this story will cause you to loose fair lady, go into labor, pee until your room is filled with urine, convulse until your head falls off and hiss. This story can also cause severe brain damage… although you must be brain damaged to even think about reading this… so yeah… oops… we are not in any way shape or form responsible for the following: damage to property because of this story, damage to brain or body, the death of your cat, your toilet overflowing, your severe constipation, your inability to speak, your new ability to breathe flame, that dragon running you over, your mother shouting at you for wetting the bed, a random person chopping your head off or Edward Elric jumping out of your home ventilation system and attacking you, Gluttony eating your arm, Roy Mustang blowing your bodily functions out of whack, Excel and Hyatt and El Gala taking over your city, Ropponmatsu IV destroying your home or anything else that will happen to you… and we are not responsible for severe bodily harm when attempting to rid oneself of the hiccups.

Thank You,

Ropponmatsu IV and Co.

Health Warning: This story contains alchemists, devilists, coffeeists, pessimists, cynical cats, the Can-Can, a sugar high cyborg and a mad murderess looking for Ramen noodles… do not read this story it is not recommended for any age group and is hazardous to your health… and we don't freakin' care about what you flamers say… cause we don't listen sticks out tongue and pulls down eyelid Almost forgot! This story also includes: Prank calls, sugar highs, alcohol, raging stuffed animals, a carnivorous bunny rabbit, singing off key, cheap scenery, certain blondes storming your building, a giant dust bunny, the boogey man, a miniature Godzilla, rampaging bluebirds, a chainsaw, a flamethrower, a huge statue of bugs bunny, a slightly smaller statue of Roy Mustang, the wrongful use of a fish, a fishing rod with Riza Hawkeye attached to it, a fish hook… plus a whole lotta… other… stuff… and IRS bashing… yeah don't forget that… DON'T PAY YOUR TAXES FOLKS! So yeah… also… for your entertainment purposes alone we are now… WITHOUT RAMEN! Taking over a city near you!

HEADS UP! For those of you who don't or haven't read the manga the characters are as follows:

Ha-Chan: Hyatt

Eh-Chan: Excel

El-Chan: El Gala

Iwa-Chii: Iwata

Wata-Pee: Watanabe

Sumi-Chan: Sumiyoshi

Misa-Kun: Misaki

1: Ropponmatsu I

2: Ropponmatsu II

Just an ordinary day in F city. The sky was raining, the rain was pouring and the people were drowning. Ordinary as anything.

"Damn… we're lost…" Iwa-Chii hung his head. The cyborg looked around and then fell backwards.

"You have no sense of direction Iwa-Chii." 2 said to him.

"Whatever you say defect." Iwa-Chii told her.

"OOOH! LIGHTS!" 2 ran out into the road… 'BANG'

meanwhile

Somewhere in Mexico…

Eh-Chan traced a circle in the sand while humming a little tune to herself… 'Ramen… Ramen noodles…' That was all she could think about. Then she looked up… 'Menchi-sensei!' She looked at the dog, who whimpered.

"Who are these people?" Misa-Kun asked Sumi-Chan

'Search me…' Was Sumi's reply.

"Lu La Lu La Piano…" Roy Mustang came through the island doing a conga line with Edo-Kun and Ala-Chan. (AN: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist…)

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE? GET OFF OUR PROPERTY!" El-Chan growled and threw the two of them into the ocean.

"NOOO!" Some random passerby dove into the water after them.

Elsewhere

Roy shuffled the papers on his desk boredly and sighed. Riza walked in and handed him another 75 piles of paper work to sign (no he was just exaggerating… she only brought one.) He looked up and groaned as she slammed the pile down in front of him.

"Riza I am so bored… what can I do to amuse myself?" He asked her.

"I don't know sir, but try signing those papers…" She told him and walked out. Then suddenly an idea hit him.

'I know what can spice up my day.' The Flame Alchemist slithered out of the office and down the hallway and all the way down the street to his home. Inside was his niece, who was engaged to his worst enemy, a certain blonde. He and his brother and his brother's fiancé had come to live with them. He walked up the stairs, slowly drawing a small vial out of his pocket and sneaking into Edo-kun's bedroom. There was a shout and a slight sizzling noise and Roy-taisa ran for his life. He ran out the door, chuckling his head off the entire way.

(&(&(&(&(&

Roy looked up as Alphonse Elric walked into his office. Al had been changed back to normal and was carrying something in his arms. It appeared to be a small yellow cat. Suddenly the cat sat up and stood on it's hind legs, it had a pair of black and red boots, exactly like the ones Edo-kun wore… it had on a red trench coat… a smaller version of the one Edo-kun used to wear. It had a pair of bangs and a braid, the same that Edo-kun had with the same stubborn piece of hair… the only thing was that this was a cat… not Edo-kun or so Roy thought.

"Baka-taisa…" The cat said, in Edo-kun's voice.

"Edo-bozu?" The man asked and suddenly the cat became extremely upset, fussing and hissing.

"THIS ISSS YOUR FAULT!" Ed meowled. Roy looked at him and smiled.

"It is? Really? I didn't know that you could change into a cat Ed…" Roy-taisa told him and Ed growled…