Wizard's Roulette
Song fic to Russian Roulette by Rihanna
Warnings: (K-rated) Slash, Suicidal Themes
Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take a gun, and count to three
I'm sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go
"What are the stakes?" I ask cockily.
Malfoy, damn his beauty, smiled widely and twirled the gun. Golden streaks glittered against incredibly soft white hair. Chapped lips quirked into a true blindingly beautiful smile, gods to kiss those- STOP!
"Everything," he says softly, "mind, magic, power, body, heart, soul…"
I can't believe he just offered it all up in one go, everything I've dreamt of…
"Pass the gun," I command.
***
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
That I'm terrified but I'm not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger
The crazy, sadistic, sexy, angelic prick grins like the loon he is.
"Here you go."
It is cold. I look down at the weapon that might kill me without emotion.
"Do you think I could kill someone?" I ask quite seriously.
"I think you could kill yourself."
***
Say a prayer to yourself
He says close your eyes
sometimes it helps
and then I get a scary thought
that he's here means he's never lost
"Relax, just take it slow it'll be easier," he breathed. The golden strands of his hair glitter at me again. I want to pull at them, kiss them, smooth them over.
"You've done this before?"
It wasn't really a question but he answered anyway, "Yeah. Of course."
"When, How?" I know he is lying, I play along anyway.
"After the game, if you win," was his smooth reply.
***
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
That I'm terrified but I'm not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger
I breathe deeply through my nose, close my eyes and raise the gun to my temple. A feather light kiss graces my nose and I gasp dropping the gun.
"I thought you wanted me?" he laughs softly.
"I thought you were waiting to see my head explode?" I shoot back cynically.
"Maybe," he says cryptically.
***
As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering will I ever see another sunrise.
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
but it's too late to pick up the value of my life
I pick up the gun again and feel a chill run my spine.
"Scared? You can leave without me."
"No! If I can't trust you I don't want to live!"
BANG!
Blood drips from the wound and the pain makes my head throb. I fall forwards into his arms. I notice ironically that they are warm. Gods I wish I could hate him but I can't not even now.
***
And you can see my heart beating
you can see it through my chest
That I'm terrified but I'm not leaving
know that I must pass this test
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
That I'm terrified but I'm not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
"I'm so sorry, my Harry, but I had no choice." My vision is blurry but I think he is crying, his voice certainly cracks like it. Or maybe I'm dead and this is a dream.
"We'd never survive. We are major targets for both sides, think of the motive if were together," he whispers like he just uttered the sweetest nothing in my ear.
He picked up the gun and smiled widely. I wish I could make out his eyes.
"Don't worry I'll be joining you soon."
He had planned it all along. He probably slipped the book on Wizard Roulette into my bag. He knew I'd shoot before I did. He wanted us to die on his terms not others. He had killed us… and I loved him all the more for it.
BANG!
***
So just pull the trigger
And we lay there until we died, shared pain, shared blood, shared love.
BANG!