"Are you sure..."
"If you ask me again I'm going tell my students how much you love children and that you carry sweets in your pockets. You know which students I mean. Runny noses. Chibi eyes. Missing front tooth."
Kakashi had a sudden and very frightening image of hundreds of tiny shinobi wanna be's invading his personal space, dirty little hands groping and digging, begging in annoyingly whiny voices. He shivered and cast a dark look at his new found friend. Iruka-sensei may appear sweet and kind on the outside but the devil that lurked beneath the surface was a force to be reckoned with.
Iruka smiled triumphantly, standing aside to let Kakashi pass into the apartment.
"Here." Kakashi pulled a rather large bottle of sake from the bag in his arms and held it out to the younger man, "I figured since today...you now..."
"Kakashi. This is....expensive."
"Hn." the silver haired man slipped off his sandals and disappeared around the corner.
"I hope you like chocolate and strawberries. It's the only cake they had left." Iruka called heading straight for the kitchen.
//////////\\\\\\\\\\
"Naruto wasn't the only slacker in my class. But he was the most amusing."
Kakashi chuckled, scratching the back of his head lightly, "Jiraiya's probably ready to ship him back with a note that reads, 'Return to Sender'."
"He wasn't that bad. Was he?" Iruka asked sincerely, refilling their cups.
"No. Honestly, no. I actually miss....maybe we should cut the cake before we get all sappy and far too intoxicated to remember why we're doing this."
"Don't tell me the great Hatake Kakashi cant hold his liquor?"
"That's not just liquor your pouring. That's the best sake in the five Nations."
"I know. I gave Tsunade a bottle a while back. A gift for spending the day with a group of pre-genin who seem to have authority issues."
Kakashi froze, his freshly replenished cup touching his bottom lip for a moment before he lowered it, "You bought that for her?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"No reason. Just....we should probably destroy the evidence...I mean, the bottle when we're finished." he grinned covertly, finishing his warm drink in one gulp.
"You didn't?" Iruka eyed the man suspiciously for a moment before they widened in shock, "Oh shit! You really did! How could you steal from the Hokage?"
"I wanted the best." Kakashi said simply, sliding the small porcelain cup across to be refilled for the third time since they'd settled down, "She wont notice it missing for a while and by then Ill have replaced it or forgotten about it. Maybe Ill write Jiraiya, have him bring one back with him."
"Kakashi! He wont be back for another two years!" Iruka used his best sensei voice, but the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth gave him away too easily, Kakashi gave his best innocent shinobi pout until he broke completely, "Just...cut the cake. We'll discuss your criminal tendencies later."
//////////\\\\\\\\\\
Two slices and over half a bottle of sake later Kakashi lay on his back sucking on a strawberry while Iruka held up a picture of Sasuke and Naruto. They were covered in dirt, bruises and choking each other with murderous intent. "I seem to recall you and some boy having a fight similar to this one."
"Obito. We fought almost as much as those two knuckle heads."
"You know what they say about two males fighting don't you?"
Kakashi's head came up off the floor, "Sensei. You have an inner pervert."
Iruka turned bright red and launched a pillow at the smug jonin. It bounced off the table and landed five feet from his intended target, "You're the pervert. I was talking about dominance. Territory n'stuff....territory!" Iruka growled when all Kakashi could do was laugh.
"Mates." the silver haired jonin shouted, throwing out his hand to block another wild pillow assault.
"Does that mean you and Obito...Oof!"
As drunk as he may have been, Iruka still managed to snag the pillow before Kakashi could pull it away for another strike, "Are you insinuating that the boys.."
"Are gay."
"No."
Kakashi drug himself up onto the couch with his friend, swaying and using the furniture to ease the journey, "Think about it and you'll see it too. It all makes sense really."
"To you maybe. The rest of the world doesn't live and breath porn."
"So who do you think would top?"
"I'm so not having this conversation with you. I'm not drunk enough for one. And B...."
"B?" Kakashi chuckled.
"Even if they were gay, they are too young for sex so it wouldn't matter who....tops." The last word was whispered.
"I think Sasuke would top, but Naruto would give great blow jobs." Kakashi watched his friend turn from pink to red in a spit second and knew the man couldn't help the image that flashed through his mind.
Slowly, the chunin turned, looking flushed but serious, "Your wrong. Naruto would dominate."
"What the hell? Where did that come from?"
Iruka doubled over laughing at the horrified look on his friends face. It wasn't often he got the upper hand on the copy-nin and the look really was priceless. It took him nearly five minutes to catch his breath, wiping away stray tears, because every time he glanced at the normally stoic man he would lose himself all over again.
//////////\\\\\\\\\\
"I cant believe you know so much about dominate/submissive behavior."
"It's all about psychology really." Iruka shrugged, as if it was no big deal. But Kakashi was impressed.
"But your an academy instructor."
"So? It's not like I teach it to my students."
Kakashi's face broke into a unfocused smile, "You know a little more about this than your letting on aren't you?"
Iruka blushed, but it was more difficult to tell since he was already flushed from the sake, "Anko...."
"Anko what?" Kakashi nudged.
"Just...Anko. I'm not going to give you details so stop poking me with that bony elbow of yours!" Iruka jabbed his own back at the man sitting far closer than he had a moment ago, "I was right. You cant hold your liquor."
//////////\\\\\\\\\\
"And you tie her up? Anko. Our Anko. The snake..."
"Yes! Why are you having a hard time working this out? It's simple. The sub is in control." Iruka still couldn't figure out how the man had gotten him to explain in detail his one and only horrific experience with the outrageous young kunoichi. Ok, so horrific was a strong word, it hadn't been a bad experience. Just not one he wished to repeat any time soon.
Kakashi shook his head, then stopped, holding it between his hands to stop the room from rocking back and forth, "That doesn't make sense."
"Probably because your a control freak. I bet you've never even let your sparring partners pin you down. Not once. Not even to prove a point or teach a lesson or..."
"That, my dear Iruka, is because I haven't found anyone who can." Kakashi grinned smugly, tipping his head back and letting his tongue hang out, catching the last drop of sake from his empty cup, "Damn."
One moment the famous and all powerful copy-nin was propped up against the table and the next he was blinking up into warm brown eyes still wondering where all the sake had gone, "Damn." he repeated drunkenly, wiggling his fingers to test the chunins grip on his wrists.
Iruka's smile was similar to a child who'd hit the bulls eye for the first time, "HA! I pinned your ass!"
"Your point?"
"Oh, right. A sub has all the control."
"I don't feel in control." Kakashi teased.
"Shut up and listen."
"Yes, sensei."
"Most people, like you and Sasuke, would choose to be the sub because they can relinquish control in a safe controlled atmosphere with someone they trust." Iruka had gone into instructor mode.
"And why would I want to relinquish control?" Kakashi asked, doubtful that there was ever a situation in which he would trust someone enough...he paused in mid thought and realized he was in fact doing exactly what Iruka was explaining. He'd let the man continue to pin him down for whatever reason, something to do with trust and a feeling of exhilaration at being handled. Or...it could be the extreme amount of sake they'd consumed. He decided to blame the sake because the other choices were far too complex for his inebriated brain to process when he was lost in honey brown eyes.
"Because you're a control freak."
"And?"
Iruka blinked away the alcohol induced fog collecting around his brain, trying to remember his point, line of thought, why he was pinning Kakashi to the floor, "You're...." the weight of his own body pulling him down, closer to the cocky copy-nin, "always in control and wouldn't it be nice....someone else....took control, made the decisions...."
All at once Kakashi's lips were pressing against his own and for a moment Iruka lost himself in the sensation before bells rang so loud he jerked his head away, right into the edge of the table. He fell limp and bleeding against Kakashi's chest before the pain hit and he started squirming, holding both hands to his face.
//////////\\\\\\\\\\
"Kakashi."
The silver haired man winced at the muffled sound he assumed was his name, "Yeah."
Iruka peeled the ice pack away from his face, "Sorry."
"Me too."
"You don't have to stay."
"I'm too drunk to walk home. Go to sleep."
"You can have the couch."
"I'm fine. Go to sleep."
"You're on the floor."
"Iruka. Shut up or I'm telling your students you like to tie people up and have your way with them."
"Fine. But don't complain...hey! That's my pillow!"
"Go. To. Sleep."
"FINE!"
Iruka sniffed, making a weird bubbling gurgle sound that caused Kakashi to gag just a bit and roll onto his side just in case.
"Happy Birthday, Naruto." Iruka half yawned, shifting into a more comfortable position, making the old springs squeak.
"Happy Birthday, Naruto." Kakashi whispered, staring at the left over cake sitting on the edge of the table, "Happy Deathday, sensei."