Hey everyone, this is sort of a Harry Potter fanfiction, but not really. It's actually a fanfiction of a web series loosely based on a fanfiction of Harry Potter. Remember that horrible story My Immortal? Well some people made a web series parodying it, and it's actually quite awesome. So this is my (My) Immortal fanfiction: The Sweater War. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

It was Monday, and Enoby Way was skipping classes to smoke once again. Everyone at Hogwarts knew Enoby, or at least knew something about her. She was "that goth girl" that everyone loved to hate. She didn't mind, because she hated them right back. In fact, the only person she could actually stand was her friend Willow. Willow was Hogwarts' only other gothic student. She was Enoby's only friend in Hogwarts. Actually, friend is more of an overstatement, seeing as goths don't really have friends. Willow was more of a dark acquaintance. Willow was also skipping classes that day, and she came and sat next to Enoby.

"Hey" said Willow in a depressed tone.

"Hi Willow" said Enoby. "Want a smoke?"

"Sure." Willow took a cigarette from Enoby and lit it using her wand. Willow and Enoby were witches. They spent the rest of the period discussing their usual topics, like their favourite bands, boys, and their personal favourite: insulting preps. What exactly qualifies as a prep, you may ask? In Enoby and Willows opinion, a prep is basically anybody who isn't a goth.

The bell rang, which meant class was over. Willow and Enoby quickly put out their cigarettes and ran back to the school. As they walked through the hall, they passed a boy with dark hair and glasses. He looked like a preppy kid, the kind that the two goths usually made fun of, but for some reason Enoby couldn't take her eyes off of him. She nudged Willow. "Who is that sexy guy?"

Willow looked at her strangely. "Umm, you mean Harry Potter? The Boy who Lived and the king of preps?"

"Who?" asked Enoby. Willow couldn't seem to find the words to respond to Enoby's stupidity, so she said nothing. Enoby continued to speak. "He is so fucking hot. Not as much as Gerard Way, mind you, but close. Think I should ask him out?"

"Are you crazy Enoby? He's a prep. Goth's hate preps."

"I know but he's so sexy! Maybe if I was his girlfriend I could, you know, goth him up."

"Oh my Satan, Enoby. Listen to you! I can't let you date a prep."

"Maybe you're right." Enoby didn't sound too sure.

"Of course I'm right. Now let's get back to the common room so you can lend me that cute black sweater of yours. I'm freezing."

The next morning found Enoby eating breakfast in the Great Hall. She was enjoying a bowl of her favourite cereal, Count Chocula, and a glass of grape juice. Enoby liked to pretend that the juice was actually a glass of blood, because she was completely obsessed with vampires. As she sat there, somebody bumped into her from behind, making her spill her juice all over herself. "Bastard!" she yelled, but as she turned around she instantly regretted it. She was looking right into the eyes of Harry Potter.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry" he said.

Apologising is for preps, thought Enoby, but instead she said "That's all right. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm Enoby, by the way. Enoby Darkness Dementia Raven Way. I think it's Celtic."

"I'm Harry. Harry Potter."

"Not anymore. Harry is such a preppy name. From now on, you'll be Vampire Potter."

"Umm, what?"

"You need to goth yourself up if you're gonna be my boyfriend. What do you say I give you some lessons? How about this weekend at Hogsmeade? We can get totally drunk. Well, should we call it a date?"

"B-b-boyfriend? D-d-date?" Harry sounded nervous.

"Of course, dickhead. Now scram, I need to figure out a spell that can get this juice off of my clothes." Harry started to walk away, occasionally glancing back.

Willow sat down next to Enoby. "Was that Harry Potter that you were just talking to? I thought I told you to stay away from preppy guys!"

"Oh, shut it Willow. We have a date this weekend, and you better not screw it up."

Willow put her head in her hands. "Enoby, what have you gotten yourself into?"