A/N: Well it has been a while since I posted anything! But here is a quick FF to satiate those tastebuds of yours. Very SasuSaku, like I always do. And rated M for a brief sex scene but other than that Enjoy! :)
While We Are Still Alive
The night shown its clear sky through the windows of the Uchiha manor, the curtains pulled open so natural light could flow in. Sasuke stood beside the window, looking down toward his gateway, expecting her. He knew he shouldn't. He knew that she was nothing to him, or so he would tell himself. He could have any woman to satisfy his being, any beauty would be eager to want to be with him, but it was Sakura that he craved to be with. He didn't know if it had anything to do with her green eyes, her swaying hips, or her deep luscious lips. He didn't know what she did to appeal his body, to satiate his soul. How she looked, how she knew him, inside and out, was just enough to make him desire her more and more. It was as if she was the only human in this world that brought him all the understanding from this world he was trying to make sense of. Like as if he was screaming at the top of his lungs and she was the only one to hear him.
As he saw her appear around the corner, he tried not to think anymore of her in his mind, when the reality of her beauty was just outside, opening the gate and closing it ever so silently. It was as though she didn't want anyone to know that she was going back to him. He stayed where he was as she approached the door, when in truth he wanted to be right behind the door, ready for her. Her white knuckles tapped the door quietly, but loud enough to announce her arrival to him.
He walked down the long corridor, passing furnishings and other things to occupy his lonesome manor, and took a deep breath as he approached the stairs. He had to be calm, cool, and not hesitant in any way. He had to show that she was nothing to him, just a toy that he would enjoy. But truthfully, he had the feeling that he was her toy, the way he would walk down those steps, answer the door, let in the only connection he held with humanity. He did all he could do for her, just as she would do anything for him. He opened the door casually, as if he was not expecting someone like her. Just a casual guest that only came to keep him company. Nobody important. But she was, to him, she was every tiny thing.
She stood before him, her hood covering everything that he wanted to gaze at, everything he wanted to kiss. But he knew nothing like that could happen yet. His urges would have to wait for the perfect moment, like always. She passed by him silently, allowing him to close the door and take in her sweet aroma of cherry blossoms. Her name was such a perfect description of everything she was. She unraveled herself, separating herself from the overflowing cloak so he could get a better look, a much-needed look. Her muscular legs in her boots, her medic skirt hiding sculpted thighs, and most of all her burgundy top. There was nothing to leave to the imagination; everything from top to bottom was visible to him. His eyes stopped ogling as he gazed at her clear green eyes, a secret hiding behind them.
That's what they were. A secret behind closed doors, covered windows, and silent caresses. A secret carefully planned so as to no one to suspect that he wanted her as much as she always claimed to have wanted him. A secret he was ashamed of admitting. He wanted to make sure that he had no weaknesses, so no one could notice that the remaining Uchiha actually was weak, whenever Sakura was around. He hated how she held such a power over him, a power that she would never even know.
"So… movie?" She began as she placed the jacket on the brown sofa. She did not look no more than four seconds to the sofa, and no less than two on his handsome face. She did not want to catch him staring at her blushing face.
His head nodded as he led the way to his bedroom. He held open the door as she walked past him into his humble sanctuary. She went straight toward the drawers and pulled out the sweater that she would always wear on the movie nights they shared together and went into his washroom. As soon as she disappeared behind the washroom door, he reached in his stash of movies and popped one in. She never cared what they would watch, she would always tell him. Neither did he. Because they knew in the midst of it all, they would not even remember what the movie was about.
About the same time that the opening credits began to roll, Sakura strolled back inside the room and plopped herself beside him. The sweater didn't leave much for the imagination, nor did the short leggings that her skirt would normally hide. But again, he acted indifferent, staring only for a few seconds before turning his attention back to the screen. He was lying down as she was sitting cross-legged grabbing a pillow and hugging it. Then their movie night began.
What a movie to pick: A complicated romance in the midst of war. The man who was on the opposite side of the battle loves her when she is his enemy, through and through. He doesn't care he says. Neither does she, she replies, embracing her enemy turned lover. Sakura looked over to Sasuke, feeling a little uncomfortable whenever they watched romantic movies such as this. She would always wish that all it would show were the violence. It was Sasuke's favorite part when they would fight, she would always tell herself.
"Typical Romeo and Juliet." Sakura speaks again. Just to break the obvious tension that was building up inside her. He was as still as a board beside her.
"Hn." Sasuke answers her speculation of the movie. Silence again.
It was better this way for Sakura. Not that she liked the silence; she always knew that he was never one to strike up a conversation. And that was fine with her. What she hated though was what they wouldn't talk about because she was afraid of saying the wrong thing. She always wanted to ask him why it was that made him come back. After everything that happened with the Hokages, with Naruto, with him joining Akatsuki; she just wanted answers. But not at the expense of him leaving her in darkness again. So she accepted this lifestyle that they made for each other, even though she would always want more. Not that she would ever admit it. She knew what she was to him, so as to avoid any unnecessary confusion, she too adapted and accepted that lifestyle.
She would come at nights after the hospital or after a mission and keep him company, among other things. After he returned he was put on house arrest, never to leave his home unless by escort. He never asked for escorts, so he was never allowed out. But Sakura, whether he wanted her to come by his house or not, still visited him, normally alone or sometimes with Naruto, whether to buy him groceries or to just give him another person to talk to (or just be there). Which he would always be grateful for, but never admit. His pride was going to be the death of him someday.
Sometimes the company was all that he asked for at night. And she would oblige, never leaving his side, staying all night in his room or leaving him alone while she went to the other room to rest her tired eyes. Sometimes they would go all night without talking. But what could he say about all that he was done? He didn't want to drive her away any more than he already did. He just wanted to feel as though returning was not something he would soon regret. He wanted to make sure that somebody was still waiting for him, something to remain a part of this town he scorned.
She just wanted to feel close to him, that in him there could be those other times. The other times which she breathed for. Those times that he would grab her hand, touching her palm with his cool one, interlacing his fingers with her, igniting her fire, igniting her very soul. When he would part her lips with a simple caress from his lips as her body shivered with intense desire. When he would unbelievably close to her just to stare at her face before he strongly possessed her. She lived for those nights, and as she boldly reached for his hand, she hoped this would be another one of those nights.
There was no reaction to her sudden movement, his eyes stayed glued to the television to show that he was indifferent to this girl, just like he was indifferent to the world around him. But she knew him, and he hated that he could not bring down his barriers even around her. Revenge turned him into a worthless being, giving him everything and not a damn thing. Why she waited for him, he would never know, because he was afraid to ask, afraid to push her away from him. More than that, he was afraid of what the truth would be. He wanted to keep that sense of innocence that she had when he left her on that stone bench. But he knew she was not the same, he was not the same.
They were not the same.
Sakura kept her hand on top of his own, not even thinking for a second that he didn't realize it was there. He would realize it sooner or later, doing one of two things: acknowledge it or move it away.
Almost as if on cue, his hand changed its position, so that her palm touched his icy one. Sasuke grabbed hold of it, bringing it close to his face. She gulped silently as he slid them among his jaw line, his nose, and finally his lips. She tried to contain the shudder that escaped her as he let her fingers linger on his lips, wanting him to kiss the rosy tips of her nails.
Sasuke kept feeling the softness of her fingers, wondering what it was that she thought of as he kept them close to his lips, refraining from kissing them. He loved her soft creamy skin; it was so unlike his own. She was everything he was not. And that was why he didn't want her. Unfortunately, he needed her. Not that he would ever admit it, but it was true. Without Sakura in his life, he wouldn't know at all how he would stand it here in Konoha. She was the only person that he would stay for, and would only leave if either she went with him or told him to. He finally ended the torment that was playing through both of their minds and brought her index finger to his lips, kissing just a tiny part of her being. He heard her sigh of relief (or was it his own?) and turned toward her.
Sakura's eyes were shining brightly in the dark room, the movie giving them a dark greenish blue hue. He let go of her hand as he brought it toward her face, making her jump to the suddenness of his position. Sakura felt his calloused hand trace her jaw line, much like he was making her hand do only a few minutes ago. She held her breath and closed her eyes as his hand kept caressing her face. She delicately brought up her own hand, encasing it with his. He stopped, letting her hand rest on his as he slowly brought her face close to his own. She hoped he didn't hear her heartbeat and how it was beating as fast as a hummingbird. His lips met hers and she was sure to be having a heart attack.
It was always like this. At times he would be the kindest lover. Without saying a word he would stimulate every cell in her body to want him, to crave him, to need him. And she would always be willing, provoking him by never leaving him until he wanted her to, only to return hours later and continue from where they left off.
He laid her on his bed, pushing the pillow away that she clutched so tightly to get a better position on top of her. He continued to kiss her, making it more passionate with each second that was passing by. She melted in his arms as he began exploring; his mouth leaving bite marks in every other spot. She wrapped her arms around him, her fingers running through his raven locks as he bit at the nape of her neck.
His ice cold hands went underneath her sweater, making her jump at the sudden coldness that began caressing her stomach and breasts. She broke away from him to take off her sweater, revealing all he dreamt about at night. Every time that she would do that, it would knock the wind out of him, she truly was breathtaking. Her body had curves in all the right places, breasts with light pink nipples that he always loved kissing. He slowly let her lift his own shirt off of him, and it was her turn to hold her breath. To her, he was beautiful, he was indescribable, and he was everything. His toned muscles from practice, his strong arms, strong enough to lift her up when passion got the best of them. How he loved grabbing her, how she loved being caught up in those moments.
Those types of moments when she would moan his name in ecstasy, making him groan her name as well as he bit her from not crying out. He would always know what it was that she would want every night, much like tonight as he grabbed her, kissed her, and pleased her. That's all he could ever do. Pleasure her until the next day, and the day after that, and after…
And after…? Sakura would stay for a while but in the end showed herself out the door, hiding her face with her coat as she walked the lonely way home, hoping that he dreamed of the night that just happened just like she was replaying it over and over in her head. Every time that they would do something like this, letting their emotions grow until they climaxed, would she leave him alone in his own bliss. She couldn't bring herself to staying when their emotions were as raw as those times. She feared that something could happen to what they had. So she would leave, grab her garments and walk down the stairs after a few minutes of composing herself beside him. He would climb out of his bed when he would feel her stir out of his tight embrace and see how she would walk out of his life until another day. But as she closed the gate, she would always take one long look into the window that light shone from, and happily smile. She would always see him staring back down, not even bothering to cover his shame. He would let her see one more time before she would return to a life that he could never be a part of.
"Just like Romeo and Juliet huh?" he would answer her questions in his own silence. "I take it we got it much worse, because we love each other while we are still alive… and we won't admit it."