I have read and read for years and years but never written, I don't know if anyone will ever read this but ….. here goes
Disclaimers:
Alas I don't own Harry Potter
I am a dyslexia author with no beta. So be warned the grammar and spelling are going to suck
Mentions Mpreg but no details also only M to be safe
We were not "destined to be together" hell we did not even really know each other. The sex wasn't that great ether; it was quick, over too soon for both of us and uncomfortable …if satisfying. He was drunk and I was desperate for any type of reprieve from the stress and grief of the last well as long as I can remember. The urge to feel something different for a change and when the opportunity presented itself we took it, against a cliff face, in the freezing cold. If only he had not looked so mortified when we were done babbling about the fact that he was seeing someone else and just because they were going through a rough patch did not make cheating on him fine. I lied of course passing it of as no big deal; let's just pretend it never happened right? I really am Undesirable number one! Yep that's me. We left early the next morning, having told Bill and Fleur not to see us off….
The funerals are over but the loss is still too fresh, it hangs over the Burrow and Andromeda's house like a storm cloud, humid and likely to explode at any time. I split my time between the two but oddly finding more peace with Andy, maybe it is because she expects so little from me. But I made a promise to Remus to look after his son. To begin with it was terrifying, what do I know about babies? Hell four hours into one of his crying fits I would have willingly faced back to back detentions with the toad instead…. while surrounded by pitchers of Lockhart… in a tutu! But now looking after Teddy is no longer an obligation but a covetous honour that Andy and I share. The atmosphere is getting to both of us. Andy's face is gaunt and I always feel ill, off like I am not completely in control of my own body.
Ginny and I talked one night and agreed that really there was no going back for us. She had been in love with the idea of being in love with THE Harry Potter and I had been in love with the idea of being in love (the fact that it was not her red hair that I sore as I closed my eyes waiting to die was also a give-away). Oddly it is Molly who seems to have the most problems with our break up- no loud shouting matches no kicking me out, just this sense of disappointment.
Three months and still no sign of Ron and Hermione returning from Australia but I figured out why I feel so off. …. or rather Andy did… were not sure how it's possible… well I know HOW it's possible Fred after all pulled me aside in third year and gave me the wand and the cauldron talk 'as well someone should' but men as a rule don't get pregnant.. ..That said they don't normally survive being bitten by a basilisk or a being AK'd.
I wrote to Charlie saying that I needed to see him, that although I promised to 'forget that night' there was something we needed to discuss. One week passed with no response. I sent the letter again… then another that said although it was not ideal to tell him this in writing but that I was expecting (signed only H to be safe)….. One last letter that said he could be involved as much or as little as he wanted but that it had to be consistent no dropping in and out of the kids life… I want do that to the kid…. Finally a short note the gist of which was that he had never wanted kids and never wanted to see or hear from me again.
Andy is still the only one who knows, she is breaking under the strain of living surrounded by the trapping of her old life but missing the people that made it. Charlie's refusal to acknowledge his kid is making me panic about the rest of the Weasleys. How do you explain that one? Well son/ daughter were not going to Granny's this weekend in case your dad is there and he is pretending you don't exist. So were leaving, Me (bump), Teddy and Addy are packing up, moving to warmer climates and away from our old lives.
James? Albus? Leo? Charlie? Fred? Dudley? Nope not going to happen….. Frodo? Tempting… Neh I am not that cruel… Sam on the other hand …. Sam Andrew Potter.