Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from the show.

Once Upon a Time

Lament (I am not sure about this title. I'll probably change it later.)

Emma gazes at Killian from the kitchen table as he sits on the couch glaring at her. The anger in his eyes is killing her. She can't believe he is this mad. Is he forcing himself to sleep on the couch because he is that livid with her? What more can she do? She has apologized to him hundreds of times, thousands and nothing.

He rarely speaks with her, when he does it usually is to ask her why. She explains herself over and over, but nothing ever changes. It has been like this for weeks.

Emma slams her cup down on the table, "Damn it, Killian. You could talk to someone or take a freakin' shower, at least! We can get through this if you would just…no. You know what forget it!"

With that, she jolts to her feet, knocking the chair over with a bang. She storms out of the house and slams the door behind her.

Emma watches as her mother, Snow, scrubs the plate with a bit more of an unusual vigor with watery eyes.

"Mom," Emma sobs, "I don't know what to do? How can I help him?"

"It'll all be okay," Snow says tearfully, "We can get through this together."

Emma is unsure if Snow is trying to convince her of this falsehood or herself. "Maybe we should call Dr. Hopper. Yeah, that might be a good idea."

"Maybe you're right." Emma sniffles as her eyes focus on the little white shoes that still rest on the counter, "It might do all of us some good."

"Yeah," Charming says from the doorway, "That sounds like a good idea"

He moves closer and carefully takes the spotless plate from his wife, "I think this plate has had enough cleaning for today, honey."

"Oh right," Snow says turning from the sink and Charming to face Emma, "It's all going to be okay."

Emma sees her father pick up the baby shoes off the counter and Emma watches her father drop the baby shoes into the trash can out of sight. Emma knows her dad is just trying to protect them, so she says nothing to him about it.

Glancing at her watch she and stands, "I am going to meet Killian for lunch at Grannies…if he shows up."

"I promise," Charming says as Emma walks toward the exit the strain in his voice apparent. "Everything is going to be alright. I'll call Dr. Hopper for Killian now."

"Thanks, Dad," Emma says as she closes the door behind her.

Emma sits silently at their usual booth at Grannies. She can smell the liquor seeping from Killian's pores from where she's sitting. She can't help but wonder if the rest of the restaurant could smell it on him too. All Emma can do is stare down at her hot chocolate with cinnamon to avoid his gaze. She can feel his eyes upon her as she tries to come up with something, anything that she could say that will help him through this. After about ten minutes Granny brings the pair their plates, grilled cheese, and onion rings for Emma and a burger and fries for Killian. He pulls his flask from his breast pocket and starts to pour the liquor into his fresh cup of black coffee before Granny walks away.

"Killian?" she whispers as the coffee cup starts to overflow.

He curses under his breath tilting the flask quickly upward. "Sorry."

"Killian," Emma says softly reaching over to touch his hand, "please you need too…"

"Damn it! I don't want to blood talk about!" Killian snaps angrily pulling away from Emma's hand and slams his palm on the table. "Can't everyone just leave me the hell alone!"

"I just want…" Emma pleads helplessly, as he smashes the money for the bill on the table, and storms out of the diner. She can still hear his curses as the door swings closed behind him.

"I'm sorry," Emma says quickly as Granny's eyes follow after Killian sadly.

Emma follows after him as fast as she can.

He's spiraling, and she refuses to let him suffer alone. She is determined to ensure that he gets help even if she must drag him to Dr. Hopper's office herself. She follows him home still pleading with him to speak to her to anyone about what happened, but he never answers her. He flings the door open and stumbles around on the porch. Killian empties the flask before going in. He leaves the door open behind him as he stumbles into the house and makes his way to their bedroom. He pauses briefly at one of the partially open doors in the hallway. The nursery. He gingerly pushes the door open further. He stares longingly at the soft yellow and green decorations that adorn the childless nursery. Emma curses herself for not closing the door all the way.

"Come on Killian," She encourages him to move forward. "You need to rest."

After a long hesitation, he stumbles and crawls under the covers. Emma crawls into their bed and pulls him close to her. All she can do now to comfort the man she loves is hold him.

"Just breathe, Killian," Emma says softly, pulling him tighter. "That's all you need to do for me okay? Just keep breathing."

"Damn you, Emma." Killian curses as tears roll down his cheeks. "How could you…"

"I'm sorry." Emma sobs, burying her face into his back. All she can do to soothe the man she loves most is what she is doing now. Holding him, comforting him to the best of her ability is all she can do.

She feels the buzz of Killian's cell phone against her leg.

"Emma…" he murmurs sleepily.

"Hello?" Killian's voice is gruff from sleep. She can tell it's her dad, from the sound of his voice though she can't quite make out what he's saying. She would bet money that the call is about going to see Dr. Hopper.

"Whatever, mate," Killian answers irritably clicking the phone shut and dropping it off the edge of the bed with a thump.

"Emma…

"I am right here love," Emma says softly, she can feel the perspiration seeping off his body. She makes a mental note of striping the bed tomorrow and giving the sheets a thorough wash.

Emma is up before the alarm goes off and starts the coffee pot. She can hear the sound of Killian's groan. He isn't quite ready to get up yet. Emma smiles sadly and makes her way to the bedroom.

She lowers next to him as he sleeps and runs her fingers through his hair.

"Come on, love," she says tenderly as her fingers still gently stroking his hair, "I need you to get up. You must get up now and shower. You are meeting with Dr. Hopper today. I know getting up, and getting out is hard for you right now, but I need you to try."

She kisses his head and urges him into motion with her eyes. Killian gazes at her for a long time before forcing himself out of bed. He strips out of all his clothes as he shuffles down the hall and into the bathroom.

This story is going to be a two-shot, I think. At least that's the plan so far. I hope you guys enjoyed part 1. I am going to try and have part two up soon. Not to worry guys I haven't forgotten about my other stories. I have just been a serious funk recently. My depression has been kind of everywhere these past few months as well. I don't want any of it to affect my stories, and I have a feeling that it will. I will do my best to get the other stories updated soon. I truly apologize for the lack of updates I am trying desperately to get my shit together.