Hello and welcome to my fanfic! XD It's been a long time since I've made a one-shot so I think I'm a little out of touch with my skills of one-shotness. Any who, I don't own Naruto or well… anything that's really awesome…
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Naruto and Neji sat on a couch, staring blankly at a wall. The wall gazed back at them with a mutual interest. The sounds of the city outside the small apartment were in contrast to that of the room.
Gradually, Neji's eyes blinked. "We could train."
Naruto did not move his attention from the wall. "Can't," he told frigidly, "Tsunade-obaasan banned us from the training grounds until they have been rebuilt for at least two weeks."
"Ah."
They fell back into a pregnant silence. The deadly claws of boredom slowly sank themselves into the duo and there was nothing they could do but let it do as it willed. Everything was hushed for another several minutes until someone spoke.
"How 'bout a ramen-eating contest? The first one to puke has to buy the other's groceries for a week!" Naruto suggest with enthusiasm. He knew Neji would not go for it normally but these were trying times.
Neji shook his head, the first of the two to move a body part in the last five hours. "First off, you have an unfair advantage and second, you would eat me broke… Shōgi?"
An unpleasant snort sounded from Naruto's throat. "Only Shikamaru would find that fun." The blonde paused in thought, an idea forming in his brain. "I know! We could watch cartoons!"
"Must I remind you that we don't have a TV?"
Naruto made a sound of dismal. "We'll buy one. Simple."
"Are you going to get up and get it?"
Naruto sighed. "No…"
"There you go, Sherlock."
"… You know, I'm so bored I can't even come up with an insult."
Neji nodded. "I know how you feel; it took me awhile to come up with that one."
"…So you were just waiting for me to say something just so you could say that?"
"Yeah."
Naruto shrugged. "That's cool… videogames?"
"No TV."
"This sucks." Naruto slumped farther down into the couch. His head tilted to the side, unable to keep itself up due to laziness. "Hey, Neji, wanna tell each other the weirdest thing we ever did?"
Neji raised an eyebrow at the strange way of entertainment but agreed anyway. "Sure, you go first."
"Well this one ti-"
Neji quickly butted in, "it's not about my cousin, is it?"
A frown tugged on Naruto's lips. "Come on, man, I'm not that stupid! …Anyway, as I was saying," a pointed glare shot Neji's way, "this one time, Sai took me to this bar and this one guy with really cool hair – seriously it was dreads but in a Mohawk and he challenged me to a drinking contest and this happened and that happened and I somehow ended up waking up in a cage, wearing muskrat fur, in a pet store called HAPPIE."
"HAPPIE?"
Naruto nodded. "Yup, Homosexual Animal-like Pretty People In Enclosures."
"Weird…"
"Yeah, well, the bar was for gay criminals so…" Naruto awkwardly trailed off, the stuff that happened to him that day still a fresh wound.
"Wait, how was that the weirdest thing you have ever did? That's just some weird thing that happened to you," Neji suddenly testified.
"Pssht, the weirdest thing I ever did wasn't what I woke up to but what I did after I was 'bought'." The look in Naruto's eye was anything but pretty and Neji found himself gulping nervously. "Any who, your turn!"
Neji scratched his chin. "Let's see… how to put this…. Hmmm…"
Naruto rolled his eyes whilst crossing his arms. "Come ooon! I'm bored, hurry up!"
Glare.
"Fine, it takes a man to swim when the river is flowing red but it takes a real man to drink it."
Silence.
…
…
…
"Dude, that's not weird, that's nasty."
…
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…
Blink.
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…
"I know."