No Excuse Sunday
I am not sure where I got this. I promise you, I do not mean to insult any one. Please do not flame or yell at me if you dislike it. Thanx. Please review.
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ #$#$#$#$
To encourage all our missing members to come to church, we are going to have a specil 'No Excuse Sunday."
1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say 'Sunday is my only day to sleep in'.
2. There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel our pews are too hard.
3. Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching T.V. late Saturday night.
4. We will have helmets for those who say 'The roof will cave in if I ever came to church'.
5. Blankets will be available for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who think it is too hot.
6. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to make lists of all the hyprocrits present.
7. Reletives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too.
8. "Stamp Out Stewardship" pins will be provided for those who feel the church only wants money.
9. One section will be decorated with trees and grass for those who choose to seek God in nature.
10. Docters and nurses will be in attendence for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
11. The sanctuary will be decorated with Easter Lilies and Christmas Poinsettias for those who never have seen the church without them.
12. We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher, and cotton wool for those who think he is too loud!!
*******
The Sunday School class had just learned how God created everything, including human beings. Robbie, child in the kindergarden class, seemed especially intent when they told him Eve was made out of Adam's ribs. Later in the week, he came to his mother holding his side and said, "I have a pain in my side. I think I am going to have a wife!
I am not sure where I got this. I promise you, I do not mean to insult any one. Please do not flame or yell at me if you dislike it. Thanx. Please review.
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ #$#$#$#$
To encourage all our missing members to come to church, we are going to have a specil 'No Excuse Sunday."
1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say 'Sunday is my only day to sleep in'.
2. There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel our pews are too hard.
3. Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching T.V. late Saturday night.
4. We will have helmets for those who say 'The roof will cave in if I ever came to church'.
5. Blankets will be available for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who think it is too hot.
6. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to make lists of all the hyprocrits present.
7. Reletives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too.
8. "Stamp Out Stewardship" pins will be provided for those who feel the church only wants money.
9. One section will be decorated with trees and grass for those who choose to seek God in nature.
10. Docters and nurses will be in attendence for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
11. The sanctuary will be decorated with Easter Lilies and Christmas Poinsettias for those who never have seen the church without them.
12. We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher, and cotton wool for those who think he is too loud!!
*******
The Sunday School class had just learned how God created everything, including human beings. Robbie, child in the kindergarden class, seemed especially intent when they told him Eve was made out of Adam's ribs. Later in the week, he came to his mother holding his side and said, "I have a pain in my side. I think I am going to have a wife!