Rated K
A/N- What if Stefan had been in Elena's room at the end of 3X08 (Ordinary People), instead of Damon? what would he want?
It had been a long day, and all Elena really wanted to do was get a good night's sleep. Alaric, with the help of Bonnie had figured out some pieces to the Original's back-story puzzle. But it wasn't until Elena confronted Rebekah herself that she got any answers. And she got more than she bargained for.
She came to realize that in many ways Rebekah was just an ordinary girl, who had just happened to have lived much longer than Elena had herself. She lost her Mother way too young and had her life built upon deceit and lies fed to her from her brother Klaus. The truth that her brother and not their father Mikael had killed her Mother came shattering down on Rebekah like a hail storm.
Elena exited the bathroom she shared with her brother Jeremy and sleepily began walking to her bed. Before she could get any farther than three steps, she halted at the sight of the Salvatore brother strewn across her bed. It wasn't that she wasn't used to him there. He had been there so many times before, it was like she couldn't remember a time he wasn't there. She just wasn't expecting him.
"What...what are you doing here?"
She didn't mean to come off as though she wanted him to leave. She hoped she didn't sound like that.
"Nice to see you too, Elena."
His voice was laced with sarcasm, and he looked exhausted. He rubbed his hand over his face and took a deep breath.
"I wanted to see you. I needed to... talk to someone. And...there's no one else."
With this she decided to keep her mouth shut and just go with it. If she said anything about hope, emotion, feelings, anything like that, he might not say what he needed to say and he might just get up and storm out.
She made her way over to the bed and undid the covers. She fluffed her pillow. Set her alarm clock. She did everything she normally did on nights he'd stayed over with her. She was well aware of his eyes on her the entire time. She was also aware of his scent. The scent of alcohol, the rain from the outdoors, his soap from home, and something that made him undeniably Stefan.
She hadn't been this close to him since she tried to fix him using Vampire Rehab- Lexi Style. But at that time there was too much stress and angst in the air to notice much of anything besides Stefan's survival as a decent person, let alone his scent.
"I can move over to the window seat..."
His voice caught her out of her reverie.
"No you're good, you can stay above the covers if you want." If you want being the operative words. And why was he worried about her comfort anyway?
Stefan knew he was treading sensitive waters here. He remembered how he cared, but he couldn't feel it. And every time he looked at her, looked into her eyes, he wanted to feel it. He didn't know how to talk to her without getting too much of her hopes up that he was coming out of it. He didn't need any more lectures.
Elena laid down and tucked the covers under her chin. She turned to him expectantly, but didn't say a word.
"Damon sprung me today. We went out, and Mikael found us." He waited for a reaction. He knew that she had heard all of this already from Damon, but waited anyway. When she didn't say anything, he continued. "He wanted to know were Klaus was and I couldn't tell him. Then he threatened Damon's life."
Elena didn't know this part. Damon kept it from her, probably afraid she'd be worried. She tried to keep her shock to a minimum. Her eyes widened, but she made no gasps, and kept her mouth shut.
"He shoved his fist into Damon's chest and threatened to pull his heart out unless I told him where Klaus was."
At this Elena put her hand to her mouth and nearly gasped. She almost said, Oh My God, but caught herself. Stefan noticed her reaction to the news of the umpteenth attempt on Damon's life. He knew she cared for him. He didn't know what, if anything went down between them over the summer. Did he want to care? Was he starting to care?
"I told him I could lure Klaus back to Mystic Falls. So he let Damon go. But then he said something interesting."
At this she finally spoke. "What?" She was eager now for this new information. After all, getting Klaus back to Mystic Falls meant possibly killing him, which meant possibly getting Stefan his humanity back.
"He said, 'and there's our loophole, you just have to rile him up a bit."
Elena was lost. "What does that mean?"
"It means that if he or any one else can threaten someone I care about or cared about before the compulsion, with enough force, then maybe it'll make me break through it, even if it's just long enough to save them. And he was right. I did save Damon." He took a deep breath and looked away.
"What is it Stefan?" She knew he was ashamed of something. She'd been with him for only a year but could read him so well. She knew there was something else weighing on his mind, that he cared enough to want to get something off his chest to her. This was a big deal.
He turned his head and looked straight into her eyes. She could have sworn they could burn right into her soul."I was so close to not saving him. After all the shit I went through this summer to save his life, I almost let Mikael take it in a second, and everything I went through would be all for nothing. And I cared, Elena. I'm admitting that to you."
"That's a good thing Stefan; it means you can fight through this." She didn't want to preach, but the conversation wasn't lending itself in another direction at this point. And obviously he came to her for a reason. He needed to believe in himself, to know that she believed in him.
He looked at her, at how strong she was, how independent she had become over these past couple of months. He briefly remembered her staking him after he called her pathetic for having hope. He internally winced at that scene playing in his mind. He wanted to care, he wanted to love. He had tried so hard to convince himself that all he wanted to do was be free and run away from Mystic Falls to engage in all the seductive behaviors vampires behave in. But his memories didn't lie. He knew, he just knew that with Elena, despite all the tragedy that had befallen their relationship in the past, he had never had it so good.
"What is it?" She looked at him expectantly, with concern.
He realized he hadn't said a word in a minute or so.
"What I came here to tell you, is that you were right. That I need to feel something or I'll lose you. And even if I can't feel how good it was between us right now, I remember it Elena. And I'd rather have emotions, even the bad ones, than nothingness."
She nodded, with a slight smile. She didn't want to overreact, knowing he wasn't there yet. He had miles and miles to go. "I don't know how to help you." All she knew were Lexi's methods, and he was out now and Klaus was returning, and there was so much uncertainty still.
"The focus is on killing Klaus right now. One thing at a time."
They were now face to face lying on her bed, she under the covers, him over. He began to get up to leave, when she stopped him.
"Stefan? Can you do me a favor?"
He was a bit taken aback, but curious as to what it was.
"What?"
She put her hand to where he'd been laying. "Will you just stay with me until I fall asleep? I promise once I do, you can leave whenever you want to."
He thought it odd that she would even want him there. Given his ripper status and the fact that he had his emotions shut off for the most part, he reasoned, and had hurt her tremendously. But he had sworn to protect her, and staying there with her was one of the best ways to do so, or so he told himself.
"Sure."
Stefan lay back down on top of the bed. Elena reached back and shut off the light, then turned once more to face him, with her eyes closed.
"Thank you. Goodnight Stefan."
Just then Stefan had a random memory of the two of them pop into his head as he often does, most of the time they don't mean anything.
"You're staring."
"I'm gazing."
"It's creepy."
"It's romantic."
He felt a long dormant pang in his chest, for the second time today. The first one happened when he saved Damon's life.
"Goodnight Elena."