There once was a sad, poor, angry child named, Vanduphnsmeriz. He lived in a mansion, even though he was VERY POOR! His last name was Harry Pottter. He is the 3rd in his family, he is Vanduphnsmeriz Roselina-Cutie-Potutie Harry Potter the 3rd. He was a retard. He had a face that made people want to...Vomit. In fact, when he was born his doctor died, and when his mother held him she had a heart attack, as did his father. Since then, no one has ever been able to look him straight in the face without dieing, throwing up, or laughing histarically. I would describe him to you, but you might die, and we can't have that, can we? Because of his retarded-ness and his ugly-ness, people tend to ignore him.

One day as he was walking to school, his other ugly and retarded brother saw a trash can and dove into it, so of course Vanduphnsmeriz dove in too. And there, he met hes true love, Dr. Gay-tard. He had gray hair and it was thinning. He was wearing rainbow scrubs that tasted like Skittles. And he wasnt wearing shoes. Technically, they were tomatoes that were molding. They set up their date for tomorrow night at the Gaynard Cafe.

The next night, Vanduphnsmeriz showed up at the Gaynard Cafe, and waited for an hour; Dr. Gay-tard was late. When he finally showed up, they went and sat at a table, where Dr. Gay-tard began projectile vomit while laughing histarically. He had a heartattack and fell head-first into his soup and died. Vanduphnsmeriz just got up, grabbed his wallet, paid and left the dead body there. He promised he never will love again, and also he can't get anyone else to go out with him without them laughing histarically, throwing up, or dieing.

He appered at school with his ugly and other retarded brother, Alice. He went up to the most popular girl group at school and started talking to them. " Hey little ladies, wanna go to the Gaynard Cafe?" He tried to immpersinate a "sexy" voice. They all immediatly began projectile vomit, while laughing histarically. The "popular" group of girls went to walk down to the bus stop then all of a sudden, WABAM, they got hit with a school bus. The funeral was later that day. The priest said his prayers, " This girls...I wasnt very proud to know, because they are a bunch of bitch fuckers!" He screamed and threw everything he could grasp at the dead "poplular" girls.

************Vanduphnsmeriz's P.O.V*************

I was like heading over to the movies and then I saw myself in a mirror then all of the sudden I saw my mother and father besides me holding the baby version of me, "Man, we have a dumb assed shity faced baby, ah, reminds me of this chick I went to school with named Emily Morris, She looks like my children...DID YOU FUCK HER?" My mom screamed at my drunk father. " Uhh, maybe..." Then they faded slowley from the mirror. "MOMMYYY DADDYYYY DON'T LEAVE!" I screamed like totally sooooo loud.

My mom was like a total bitch, at least thats what god has been telling me in my dreams, which are like every few weeks like 5 times. And god said that my dad was the real woman of the house, and I was like, SO HE WAS A GAY WOMEN WITH EMILY MORRIS? I so pawned that!

**Tune in for more** Edited by Mary Jewell and written by Lily Espy n Mary Jewell and Rebecca Bevers (A lil part)**