What If I Said, an ugly betty fanfic

Title: What If I Said
Author: Creative Dreamer
Pairing: Daniel/Betty
Rating: PG for slight language
Summary: A first person introspective song fic for both Daniel and Betty when it comes to their feelings for one another.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything when it comes to Ugly Betty. Believe me, I wish I did. :)

Author's Note: This is my first try at writing fan fic for Ugly Betty/Daniel and Betty so please be gentle when it comes to your comments/constructive criticism. The song used in this fic is "What If I Said' by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner (it's country). Hopefully, the way it's written won't confuse you. Also a huge thank you goes out to Olivia Adams Smith for all of her help and being my beta. :)

What If I Said

We've been friends for a long, long time
You tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine
She's left you all alone
And you feel like no one cares
But I have never failed you
I've always been there

Daniel and I had a bumpy start when I was hired by his father to be his assistant at Mode. In fact, Bradford thought it was a good idea so his younger son would stop mixing business with pleasure. In the beginning, Daniel did all he could to get me to quit, but with the way I am, I wasn't going to give in that easily. After weeks of unusual tasks and that embarrassing photo shoot, I gave in and walked away from everything. Even though Mode is where I wanted to be, where I could put my expertise and ideas to good use, but I had to leave. Yet for some reason, the womanizing bachelor had a change of heart. To my surprise, he apologized to me for being a jerk about everything and wanted to start over again with a clean slate.

From that day on, he and I developed a respect for one another. I helped him with figuring out which direction Mode needed to go in with the layouts, photographs, and articles. And Daniel let me be more hands on about helping him with the magazine than anyone else would with their assistants, and for that, I was truly grateful. I knew if I could make it as being his assistant, I could advance anywhere within the company.

Daniel and I had actually become friends over the past several months. I helped him with a lot of sticky situations where he needed my expertise to get him through it as well as some things in his personal life. There was that time I had to figure out which girl from whatever day he was with had his watch that he needed to wear to the meeting he had with a photographer.

Most recently, he had that whole ordeal with a Hispanic woman Sofia Reyes. The two of them had this world-wind romance. She was another editor that worked at Meade Publications with her own magazine called MYW. As time went on, Daniel found himself wanting to settle down with this woman who had been a challenge. Sofia had made him see that he wanted to make himself better to be worthy of her love.

During the course of their relationship, Sofia had managed to convince me that I belonged at MYW. She had told me that I wasn't using all of my talent at Mode. She promised that I would have my own assistant within a year's time. She had talked to Daniel about it, and he let me go. Being in his office that night I left Mode was hard on both of us considering how close he and I were. He even went as far as to have business cards printed up for me with the MYW log as a parting gift. I didn't realize how hard it would be to tell Daniel goodbye, but it was and thankfully, the two of us being apart didn't last too long.

After Daniel proposed to Sofia, she broke his heart in a way that no one thought Daniel could be hurt. It was bad enough that she had used Daniel as a pawn for an article in the premiere-issue of MYW called "From Fling to Ring in 60 days", but she revealed the truth to him and the rest of the world on a national morning TV show. I couldn't do anything about it because somehow she had convinced Daniel that I wasn't allowed on the set especially after I had learned the truth behind everything the night before.

I wasn't thrilled with the way things had turned out. I went to Sofia as soon as I could and put in my resignation. I couldn't work for someone who was willing to hurt someone else for personal gain. Daniel didn't deserve that. I knew of his past, but no one deserves what Sofia did to him. I couldn't just leave him hanging, and I couldn't work for someone I didn't respect. After many post cards and learning that Daniel had this thing about high fives, I went back to Mode with him after his supposed two-week vacation in Rio. I made a mistake to leave him during the whole Sofia situation, and I had no intentions of making that mistake again.

You tell your story
It sounds a bit like mine
It's the same old situation
It happens every time
Can we see it oh maybe you and me
Is what's meant to be?
Or do you disagree?

Betty and I had more in common than I could have ever realized considering it seemed that we weren't exactly from the same side of New York. She was a down-to-earth girl from Queens while I had always been seen as the spoiled rich playboy bachelor, which had been pretty much true until Betty became my assistant. She and I were both the younger siblings to our older counterparts who seemingly could do little to no wrong or at least I was anyway.

My brother Alex had always been the perfect son who got all the praise from my dad. He was editor-in-chief at Hudson where he made it seem so easy to put a magazine together and ready for print month to month. Alex was a daredevil. He felt like if there wasn't any risk involved then it shouldn't be bothered with in the first place. I always lived his shadow, and if it wasn't for Betty, I don't think I could have ever proven my father wrong.

Betty and I really hadn't talked about her and Hilda's relationship, but from what I gathered at Fashion Week, my assistant felt the need to ensure that Mode was her territory. I had thrown her in the deep end, but I knew she could handle it no matter what she thought for herself. I had heard later on that Hilda had been more trouble than what she was worth or at least that's the impression I got especially after Betty caught her and me in a kiss. I know it wasn't one of my greatest ideas, but with the news about Alex coming back from the dead and becoming Alexis, I wasn't exactly using my better judgment considering Dom (Perignon) became my best friend for that day.

Betty understood me despite my relationships with women. I had always been labeled as this playboy who no woman could make me settle down. And that was true for a while, but after the whole Sofia situation, I realized that I could love just one person. If Sofia hadn't been the way she was with me, I don't think I would have ever discovered that for myself. Sofia had hurt me, but if it wasn't for Betty, I'm not sure if I would have recovered from the wounds once she admitted that everything had been a lie.

No matter what the situation was or how I was feeling, Betty always had this way of knowing what to say. If I was having a bad day, she would give me one of her full smiles and the way her face would light up always managed to make me feel better. There had been times where I wasn't sure how to make something work out for Mode and it was Betty who would somehow save my ass. She had done it so many times where I began to lose count, but she never made a huge deal about it.

"Daniel, it just comes with the territory," she would say with a smile. She never really asked for anything in return, and for her dedication and understanding of who I am, I'd been grateful. She had always done so much for me and I cared about her. She meant a great deal to me. I would do anything I could to help her, to be there for her. She had become my best friend and now she's more than just Betty.

Recently, I began to wonder about us being more than just friends. Everything changed one day when I looked at her in the office. It was like something clicked and I saw my assistant in a way I hadn't before. I finally allowed myself to see her as something more than just a woman with a different taste of clothes. She had managed to stay true to herself no matter the circumstances and now I wonder if she could see me as more than her boss or her friend, but knowing Betty, she would probably disagree or even think I was kidding.

What if I told you what if I said that I love you
How would you feel how you would think
What would we do
Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine
Or would I lose a friend or find a love that would never end
What if I said

It was another day at Mode as I sat here at my desk. I was trying to pick which photographs would work best with the center spread for the next issue, but I wasn't doing the best job with it considering I had my mind on other things, more like someone else. Lately, work seemed to be harder to focus on now that I had discovered these newfound feelings for my assistant. I have tried to push them down, to ignore them, but the way Betty would smile at me or with the way she would say something, I could feel the knots form in my stomach time and time again.

There would be times where I was in the office attempting to get work done, and Betty would notice that I had something on my mind. I told her that it was nothing, but it was hard to lie. It was times like that where I wish she couldn't read me so well, but that's one of the many reasons why I appreciate—more like love her.

I have wondered how Betty would feel if I told her how I felt, if I actually gave an honest answer to her "Daniel, you're distracted. What's on your mind?" Could she handle it? What would she do? There is a part of me who thinks she would just laugh at me, but that's not Betty. She isn't like that and I didn't want things to change between us. I am not sure how things would be for us if I ever told her the truth. The way I felt about her deep down beyond being editor-in-chief of this fashion magazine having this not-so-typical assistant.

I haven't had the best track record when it comes to love, but Betty had taught me so much about whom I had become and who I wanted to be. I have always had this fear that I could lose her if open my mouth and said how I felt. She means a great deal to me, but I am afraid to say anything because I could lose everything.

She doesn't love you; oh it's plain to see
I can read between the lines of what you're telling me

I should have known better when it came to Sofia and the way she was with Daniel. Their relationship had evolved more than mine with Walter had in the first year of the two of us being a couple. In two months time, Sofia had managed to get him to fall for her and propose, but she hadn't meant a word of it.

I couldn't bring myself to tell Daniel that I had my suspensions about Sofia and her intentions. He looked so happy, and I didn't have to heart to give him the impression that I didn't see things the way he did. He had finally found someone who was different from anyone else he had ever met. He had become dedicated in being faithful to one person instead of sleeping around with Miss Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.

Actually, it was more like he turned into that guy that any girl would want to settle down with. Daniel had changed a lot since the first time I had set foot in Mode, but I saw the latest addition to Meade Publications as someone who was up to something more than what she was willing to say. The way she presented herself and the way she would always make sure that Daniel would notice her.

In the beginning, I believed her, but there was always a part of me that made me worry about who she was and what she wanted from him. I know Sofia wasn't his usual supermodel type that the most eligible bachelor in New York would normally go for, but first impressions weren't always true or so I thought at the time. She was the type of woman I wanted to become once I got more experience working at Mode.

Daniel used to tell me about how things were between him and Sofia. There were times where I didn't have the best feeling about what was going on, but it wasn't my place to say anything more than an "Oh, that's great" or "You deserve to be happy." No matter how much I tried to reassure myself that I was wrong about Sofia, I couldn't let that feeling go. I regretted not saying anything especially with the way everything turned out.

I should have said something to Daniel before I went to work at MYW because I saw that tactic as more so of a divide-and-conquer scenario more than Sofia being interested in my talents and skills. She made promises to Daniel and me, but once she had done what she did to him, how I could live with seeing her everyday knowing that she had hurt someone that I cared about, someone I respected and loved?

He doesn't hold you the way a woman should be held
How long can I go on keeping these feelings to myself?

Betty had started to see Henry from accounting. Henry was a nice guy who cared about her from what I could tell. He and I hadn't talked much or even now that he'd been dating my assistant. I could see the way he looked at her and I became aware that he had feelings for Betty long before she had realized it for herself.

The two of them had an interesting start with the little mishap with one of my exes at the Mode Christmas party and Henry's old girlfriend came back into his life to give their relationship another try. I wasn't exactly sure about what happened, but I knew that Betty and Henry had eventually started to date.

A part of me was happy for Betty. She deserved to be happy considering she had been through a lot lately with what was going on with her family, and she had been through a lot with the guy she was with before—Walter. I could tell that she had stayed with Walter longer than what she had wanted because of the way Betty sees herself.

There were times where Betty would question her beauty, and her confidence would seem to be slipping away from her. Walter was a part of her life that was in her comfort zone, and once things had ended between them, she began to grow more into the woman that I could see myself with. She gave Henry the space he needed to figure out what he wanted to do about his old girlfriend and my assistant.

Henry had come to get Betty to take her to lunch a few times a week when she and I weren't busy preparing for a meeting or looking over layouts or whatever the case was from time to time. I noticed the way he watched Betty, like he cared about her. I wouldn't question that, but there were times where he would hug her or hold her hand that made me wonder about him. He didn't seem to understand how delicate Betty was. He would miss the little cues that Betty does when she was nervous or when she wasn't sure how to say something that was bothering her.

So many days had gone by, and I still hadn't said a word. I kept how I felt about Betty to myself for months. There were so several times where I could have said something, but I couldn't find the words or my mouth would go dry to the point where I couldn't speak. I have always wondered when and if I would ever tell her how I felt.

It was another busy day at Mode where I covered phones while Daniel worked in his office. Every now and then, I'd sneak a glance at him as he pondered what should be in the next issue. He seemed distracted, just like he had for the past several weeks, and I couldn't figure out why things had been this way. In fact, there were a lot of things that I couldn't figure out when it came to Daniel.

Something had changed for me, and I wasn't exactly sure on how to deal with it considering I shouldn't feel this way about someone I work with especially him. He was the editor of the top-selling magazine in the world, and I was just his plain Jane assistant. Besides, I was in a relationship with Henry, and he was wonderful, but there was a question that lingered in my mind when it came to Daniel and me.

Daniel had his flaws. His past had proven that, but for some unknown reason, I saw him in a way that I hadn't before. I can't say it was his appearance. That hadn't changed. I didn't care about the designer labels he wore or which watch he felt he had to wear for whichever day. He had grown up so much since we first met and turned into someone who I trusted, and he was my best friend.

I felt like I couldn't act on these feelings. It wasn't right considering Daniel would probably think I was crazy. I had a feeling he would just look at me and dismiss me before I had a chance to say anything else. It would be another crying session in the restroom, and this time he wouldn't come to check on me. I liked how things were between us, and I wasn't willing to risk it to be rejected.

Oh we've both had our share of loneliness
So who's to say that we can't have a little happiness
And if I found that in you

People wouldn't understand if I came out and said that even though I ran a magazine, where I had such a huge staff that consisted of editors, writers, photographers, and countless others that I, Daniel Meade, considered myself to be lonely. I was seen as an editor-in-chief to one of the many magazines at Meade Publications, the possible heir to everything, and that playboy bachelor who could have any woman he wanted, but when it came down to it, with the exception of Betty, I was alone.

I didn't have that many people I could confide in and trust. Now that I could find a chance to be happy with that one person who I trusted so much, who had known so much about me, I couldn't—I wouldn't open up because I didn't want to ruin her happiness with Henry. We both deserved to be happy, but I wasn't going to ruin it for her. After that bumpy transition period with Walter, she had finally found something stable in Henry. She deserved that chance to be happy, but I did too.

Betty had these dreams and I wanted to help her achieve them. I wanted to ensure her happiness by giving her the things she needed to make her dreams become a reality. She deserved to have things that she strived for and more than likely she would even surprise herself with all that she could accomplish. I had this desire to make sure that Betty was taken care of because she not only deserved it, but she had earned it with numerous times she had helped me through all of the binds where I couldn't figure out a solution, but somehow she always could. Just seeing her eyes light up or her wide smile made me feel happy like I had done something that the two of us should be proud of.

Lately, I couldn't talk about my feelings about Betty to anyone because quite frankly, Betty was the one I would confide in about things like this. My best friend Becks would have me committed if I confessed to him that I thought about Betty like that, let alone loved her. Hell, if you would have asked me a year ago if I felt like this about anyone let alone someone who wasn't typically my type, I would have laughed uncontrollably and thought that person was crazy, but now, not so much. I had found something in Betty that I hadn't found with any other woman, not even Sofia.

It would make my dreams come true
Or would you walk away?
Hear what I have to say

I always had these dreams that were seemingly bigger than what everyone else had expected for me. Hilda had just wanted to be married with children, and just be a housewife and that was nice in its own special way, but I, on the other hand, had these huge dreams. Before my mother died, she would tell me not to settle for something that was in reach, but to strive for something that wasn't and to work hard in order to achieve my aspirations. I wanted to make a name for myself as a Hispanic woman who prevailed in an industry where the odds were against me. I wanted to prove so many people wrong.

Hilda had tried to protect me from not telling me that Henry had called that Christmas after I began to work at Mode because she had thought that he was going to hurt me, but I had proven to her that I could take care of myself. And now if I told her that I had feelings for Daniel, especially with his previous reputation, she would tell me that Daniel would hurt me just like he had with all of the other women in his life and that he wouldn't be capable of change. But I knew for a fact that he was working to become a better person. So maybe in some not distant dream, I wanted to tell my boss that I had developed these unexpected feelings. Would that be so crazy?

I tried to see myself telling Daniel how I felt, but I just couldn't see what his reaction would be, what he would say or do. I had gotten to know him more than just being his assistant at the office. He and I had spent plenty of time together whether it was in the office, discussing a layout for the latest issue of Mode or if we were out to dinner sharing a pizza as we talked about our personal lives or more like me trying to help him figure out how to handle the situation with Alex—I mean, Alexis among other things. My boss had a lot on his plate to deal with besides what his assistant had to say when it came to him.

One day I hoped that Daniel would be open to what I had to say. I would want him to be able to listen to me before he decided to make his decision about how I felt when it came to him. He deserved to know the truth, but Daniel deserving to know and my willingness to tell him were two entirely different things. The timing had and always seemed to be off for me to say anything especially now if I were to say anything. I already had someone in my life that cared about me, but Henry was definitely no Daniel in his own right.

Right when I had thought I had everything sorted in my life when it came to Walter and Henry, these feelings for the least likely person immerged and I didn't know what to say or do about it. I had this wonderful relationship with Henry where things had finally fallen into place and then, I began to have feelings for Daniel.

The one person in my life where I didn't give much thought about anything like that because we were people who were from two different worlds, but our backgrounds really don't make a difference when it comes to how you feel for someone. When I first met Daniel, I didn't appreciate at the way he treated me. I didn't deserve the trouble he had put me through, but once he apologized to me, it was then when we began to form a bond that was special and different from anything I had with anyone else.

I had grown to love and appreciate Daniel and his shortcomings because his life was a challenge, and he made me feel like I was needed and that I needed to be around. I remember that night on the Brooklyn Bridge where the womanizer admitted that I was better than any model. I never thought I would see the day when he would come out and say that with actual meaning behind it.

Daniel had surprised me in many ways by taking the pain from his losses…like with the Sofia situation, and even with Alexis, and making sure that he took what he had been given and making the best of it. I hated to see him hurt over what had happened with Sofia, but MYW unfortunately had one of the highest-selling premiere issues in the company's history. Once Daniel had started to come to terms with Alexis, they had managed to come to a truce about Meade Publications and Mode.

My feelings didn't need to surface. They couldn't because of Henry and because of everything at stake. It was bad enough that I would hurt Henry once he knew I had been hiding something from him, but for me to say something to Daniel and have everything blow up in my face? I couldn't take that risk. I had done so much to make sure I kept everything that I felt hidden. I wasn't going to attempt it now, but my mind would wonder and I wanted to know…

What if I said

Now was not the time to say a word about anything to Betty. There were definitely times where I wanted to, but Betty was dating Henry and I had my unwillingness to chance it. I wouldn't blow my cover. I could manage to lie about what's on my mind. Betty wouldn't push me for an answer, but there were times where I wanted to say more than just that typical "Don't worry about it, Betty. It's nothing". Lately I began to wonder about how things would be if I opened my mouth and told her…

What if I said...