Yes, another Naruto fanfiction. And yeah, another school one while I'm at it. I know, I know: 'When the hell are you updating Speak and Scammed? The sequel to Black Heart? And what about Predicament?'
All in due time...just at a really slow rate. That and it seems I can't to stick to one story and finish it.
Note: This story is based on Nick's TV Show, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. That and it's going to take place in America, since, well, I'm obviously familiar with the school rules and what not. Also, the camera is you the readers. Only Naruto, Ino, Shika, and Kiba will 'talk' to the camera, showing their view. Mostly Naruto though. M'okay?
Disclaimers: Nope. Don't own 'em.
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Naruto's Declassified
School Survival Guide
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Hi all! If you're reading this notebook of mine's then it's a sure bet that you're having some trouble at school. That or you're just curious what the Guide says. Or enjoying your school years to the fullest, like me! Either way, this notebook's here to help and inform about surviving school. Be it Middle School or High School. Let's hope it works out for the best, eh? Since what's written here had come from true experiences either from me or from my best buddies, after all.
Anyways, best of luck to you!
--Naruto Uzumaki, owner of this notebook
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The sun was merrily shining with birds chirping gaily from their perched tree. Puffy white clouds rolled along the pretty blue sky with no purpose. Students milled about the school's front courtyard, intermingling with each other. Girls together giggling and pointing as boys snicker and make teasing remarks. Ah, it was a perfect day for the first day of school...
No, no, that wasn't true. Anything but that.
It wasn't sunny. Oh no, it wasn't. It was cloudy and no birds were chirping either. This wasn't the sub-rural city where everyone knew each other. It was the suburban. The birds here are pigeons, sparrows, crows, and in the summer, seagulls. Not the pretty ones you would see on television like the robins or blue jays. And as for the students, the girls weren't really crowded together pointing and giggling. Rather they were off in their own separate groups. Same can be said for the boys.
So, simply said, this was the first day of high school on September first. Weather: Cloudy. Freshman Orientation was yesterday, so everyone had a vague idea of where their classes are. A very vague idea.
Which explains why most of the students appeared to be mystified as to where their Homeroom was located, trudging into the building rather slowly.
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Tip #107: Know where the important rooms are located. i.e. Infirmary, Bathroom, Security/Officers Room (to avoid them) and empty classrooms when you need it.
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"Okay, so the Infirmary's down that way with the Security Room a little bit farther down," Naruto repeated as he pointed to the general direction, back towards the camera. "And the bathrooms are over here before entering the Cafeteria..." Slowly turning around, the fifteen-year-old blond was startled for a moment, and then grinned at the camera, waving. "Hi all! Name's Naruto Uzumaki! Welcome to the first day of school!"
Then, after his greeting, the blond was shoved out of the camera's view, taking a forced exit to the left as Kiba popped in. "Yo! I'm fox-face's best friend, Kiba Inuzuka!"
"Move outta the way, Kiba! It's my turn to shine!" Ino bumped the brunette out of the camera's view, piling him onto a muttering tanned boy. "I'm Naruto's other best friend, Ino Yamanaka at your service!" As she said this she dragged in a pony-tailed brunette who heaved a sigh. "C'mon, introduce yourself!"
"Shikamaru Nara. Naruto's other other best friend."
Struggling a bit to stand up right after pushing Kiba off, Naruto stood beside the female blonde as Shikamaru shied away to sit in a nearby chair. "Now that the introductions are outta the way---"
"Oh my gosh! It's Sasuke!" Ino squealed, pointing to the right as her cheeks took on a pinkish hue. Whipping around to face Naruto, she hurriedly asked, "How do I look?"
"Fine as always, Ino." Cheery blue eyes rolled in exasperation.
"Geez, that bastard's here, too?" Kiba muttered as he rubbed his back with a faint frown, "To think that he'd go to an Academy or Private Schools of sorts—not a Public one what with him being stinkin' rich."
"And that bastard, my friends," Naruto sighed after a glance, spotting his crush amongst the crowd of fangirls, moved the camera in the direction Ino disappeared off to and the lens focused the targeted being, "is Sasuke Uchiha, the King of all Jerks."
As if the pale-faced teen had heard him loud and clear, Sasuke shot the camera and the blond boy an icy cold glare.
"Ice Princess," Naruto and Kiba muttered in unison with a scowl.
"Well, well, well, look what we have here." Zaku approached the sunshine blond from behind, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder. The camera zoomed for a close-up and returned to normal viewing.
"Z-Zaku!" Naruto went wide-eyed. Glancing over to his male friends, he whined realizing they had high-tailed and left him behind. Ino, on the other hand, was still ogling over Sasuke. "Guys!" Shifting his pair of sapphire orbs over to the camera, he said nervously, "Well, uh, let's put that Tip into use, eh?"
"What 'tip', loser?"
"This one!" With that said, the petit blond sprinted off, zipping by the horde of fangirls, missing a raised eyebrow by a certain individual. Zaku, Dosu and Kin chased after Naruto, who was zigzagging around the hallway like a maniac.
Running around for a while, Naruto lost the three after he had quickly dashed into the bathroom, doubling over to catch his breathe. Once he was able to calm his racing heart, a grin broke out on his tanned features.
"Very useful Tip, that one," Naruto nodded in agreement with himself.
"What, running around like a complete idiot?"
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Tip #23: Keep your friends close and enemies even closer...it pisses them off.
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"Eh? Who's in here?" Our main character looked around at the otherwise empty bathroom with a confused expression.
"Wipe that stupid look off your face or else you'll really be stupid," was the remark as none other than Sasuke appeared from behind the last stall, "Oh, wait that's right, you're already stupid. Never mind."
"Bastard! What are you doing in here, anyways? Running away from your fan girls?" Naruto teased after making sure the coast was clear.
"I should ask you the same thing."
Flipping the other a bird, the blond smiled sweetly that was directed at Sasuke when he took a step out of the washroom, taking in a deep breath.
Onyx eyes widen, realizing what the moron was planning to do. He took a step forward in hopes of silencing him. "Shit, shut up!" He hissed as he jerked the other in after grabbing his arm.
"HEY, GIRLS! SASUKE'S OVER HERE!" The Uchiha slapped his hand over the blond's mouth and dragged him into an empty stall, standing on the toilet after putting the lid down.
Tiled floor trembled under the weight of massive hordes of girls stampeding down the hall, squealing the Uchiha's name excitedly and the frequent question of "Where is he? Did you see him? Maybe he's over there? Oh my gosh, did you see what he wore today?"
"What do you think you're doing, moron?" Sasuke hissed, nose-to-nose with the other, disregarding how close they were in the small stall.
"I don't know. You tell me since I'm the stupid one." Naruto retorted, inching his face closer.
The raven-haired teen narrowed his eyes. It appeared as if he wasn't expecting a smart remark from the other teen.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to see my friends, bastard." Then, he added as if Sasuke was a slow child, "You do know what a 'friend' is, don't yo---"
Naruto was stopped short when the Uchiha shoved his hand to the blond's face, black orbs flashing dangerously. Annoyed, the blond youth lightly bit the offending limb, released it and hopped off the toilet, slamming open the door's stall in the process.
"See you, bastard!" With a cheeky grin the energetic blond hurried off.
The camera was now viewing a pissed off Sasuke as he washed his hand, ridding of the other's mark on him.
"Stupid idiot..."
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"You see, that last Tip--number 23--was specially made for that bastard," Naruto stated rather smugly with the camera before him as he walked down the hallway with milling students, "or anyone else like him for that matter. So put it to good use and savor the expression." He then blinked at the camera as if it had asked him a question with an obvious answer to. "Well, of course I know said Tips weren't in chronological order! I'm using them as I see fit in certain situation. I'm not that stupid as some people make me out to be, y'know." The sunshine blond huffed as he crossed his arms, continuing to stare at the camera. "Anyways, I'll see you guys. Gotta see if my friends got the same sched as me. Later!" With that he waved and hurried down another hallway where Shikamaru, Kiba and Ino waited around for the blond beside a row of lockers.
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Some Tips are quotes, some are made-up, and others are from the show if I remember to write them down. Anyhow, any type of review will be appreciated. If you flame, at least give me a reason why and don't just say 'because I don't like the show.' That's like a toddler's response right there.
Should I keep going?