Don't Fall Down Now (You Will Never Get Up)
Notes: This is a Daikeru fic, containing shounen-ai and yaoi type content. It's
angsty and dark, too. A thanks to Everclear for the title, which comes from
their song 'Strawberry.' This is only the beginning...chapter 1.
Disclaimer: You know what I own and what I don't own.
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Daisuke's chocolate eyes stared intently at the wall in front of him. A
feeling of numbness flowed through his body; the old wounds on his wrists
were the only things he could feel. Takeru reached his arms around Daisuke
from behind. Daisuke jumped and pulled away at the contact. "Takeru, I...I
just can't handle this right now."
"I understand, Daisuke. But how are we supposed to have a relationship if
you shudder and shrink away every time I try to touch you?"
"Maybe that's going to have to be a part of it for awhile, Takeru. I need you
to be here for me, Takeru- whether or not you can touch me."
"I'll try my best, but I don't know how to comfort you other than to hold you,
and obviously that's not what you're looking for. I don't know what to do
other than to be a shoulder to cry on."
"Just don't leave me Takeru. I don't want to be alone."
"I'm here. I'll always be here for you."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Daisuke and Takeru sat in a cafe the following day, talking. "I just don't know anymore, Takeru. It's...I mean...none of the things I do seem to matter."
"What are you talking about? The things we did in the Digital world saved humanity, and we couldn't have done them without you." Takeru spoke with a passion that he always seemed to have when he spoke of the Digital world. Daisuke looked down. Takeru's point made sense to him, but Daisuke didn't want to admit it. He wanted to argue that his life was meaningless. Takeru was making that hard.
"...yeah, but that was over a year ago now. I haven't really mattered to anyone since then."
"You matter to your family. You matter to me. I don't think that I could live without you."
It hurt Daisuke to hear those words, especially after his recent suicide attempt. He knew that Takeru was right, but it wasn't something he could face right now.
"Look, I need to go, Takeru. I'll talk to you later."
"Why do you have to leave?" Takeru spoke with concern.
"I need to think. I need to think alone. Don't worry, I won't do anything that would hurt you." With those words, Daisuke went home to think about everything that Takeru had told him.
'You matter to me. I don't think I could live without you.' How could Takeru have said something like that to him, and right after he had tried to kill himself, too?. Daisuke felt as if he were being played with. He felt as if Takeru's only reason for trying to make him feel better was so that their relationship could go back to normal. 'Bastard,' Daisuke said in his head. at the same time, Daisuke knew he longed for the same thing: For everything to go back to normal. Thinking about the words that Takeru had said to him nearly brought him to tears.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Looking in the mirror at his reflection that night, Daisuke finally understood the
meaning of those words. 'You matter to me. I don't think I could live without
you.' Takeru was suffering right along side him. Everyone was. Daisuke
knew then that he wasn't alone. In that moment, he understood everything
that Takeru had been getting at.
Daisuke felt he needed to go see him, but it was late and sneaking out would
be hard. Slowly, Daisuke left the bathroom and began to sneak down the
stairs. The third step creaked, and he paused for a moment. No sound. He
continued down and out the door. Running through the streets of Odaiba in
order to get to Takeru's house, Daisuke saw but a blur around him.
Upon arriving at Takeru's house, he walked around to the back. Luckily for
him, one part of their garden was bedded with pebbles. Daisuke threw them
at Takeru's window, who eventually came and opened it. "Daisuke?"
"Takeru, I need to speak with you. Let me in."
A weary Takeru opened the sliding glass door to the back of his house.
"Daisuke," he said, rubbing his eyes, "couldn't you have waited for morning
to come over here?"
"No. This is too important." Daisuke wore that stubborn look that he always
seemed to have when he considered something important.
"Here, it's cold outside, let's go up to my room to talk." Once in Takeru's
room, Daisuke began.
"Takeru...I...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." Takeru only stared on as
Daisuke spoke. "I understand all the pain that I've caused you with all this. I
just...I wanted to...." Daisuke broke into tears at this point, stopping his
speech. Takeru wrapped his arms around Daisuke, who didn't curl back for
the first time ever since it had happened. Daisuke cried on Takeru's shoulder
for a good while, and the two shared their first kiss in a long time through
Daisuke's tears. "I just want everything to be ok," Daisuke said as he once
again composed himself.
"It's ok, Daisuke, it is." Takeru was so happy to look into Daisuke's eyes and
see everything beautiful that had been there before- all the love that Daisuke
held for him. The tears seemed to wash out all of the ugliness in them, all the
anger and depression that had been there before. Everything was clear.
Everything was ok, for the first time in what seemed too long to remember
Notes: This is a Daikeru fic, containing shounen-ai and yaoi type content. It's
angsty and dark, too. A thanks to Everclear for the title, which comes from
their song 'Strawberry.' This is only the beginning...chapter 1.
Disclaimer: You know what I own and what I don't own.
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Daisuke's chocolate eyes stared intently at the wall in front of him. A
feeling of numbness flowed through his body; the old wounds on his wrists
were the only things he could feel. Takeru reached his arms around Daisuke
from behind. Daisuke jumped and pulled away at the contact. "Takeru, I...I
just can't handle this right now."
"I understand, Daisuke. But how are we supposed to have a relationship if
you shudder and shrink away every time I try to touch you?"
"Maybe that's going to have to be a part of it for awhile, Takeru. I need you
to be here for me, Takeru- whether or not you can touch me."
"I'll try my best, but I don't know how to comfort you other than to hold you,
and obviously that's not what you're looking for. I don't know what to do
other than to be a shoulder to cry on."
"Just don't leave me Takeru. I don't want to be alone."
"I'm here. I'll always be here for you."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Daisuke and Takeru sat in a cafe the following day, talking. "I just don't know anymore, Takeru. It's...I mean...none of the things I do seem to matter."
"What are you talking about? The things we did in the Digital world saved humanity, and we couldn't have done them without you." Takeru spoke with a passion that he always seemed to have when he spoke of the Digital world. Daisuke looked down. Takeru's point made sense to him, but Daisuke didn't want to admit it. He wanted to argue that his life was meaningless. Takeru was making that hard.
"...yeah, but that was over a year ago now. I haven't really mattered to anyone since then."
"You matter to your family. You matter to me. I don't think that I could live without you."
It hurt Daisuke to hear those words, especially after his recent suicide attempt. He knew that Takeru was right, but it wasn't something he could face right now.
"Look, I need to go, Takeru. I'll talk to you later."
"Why do you have to leave?" Takeru spoke with concern.
"I need to think. I need to think alone. Don't worry, I won't do anything that would hurt you." With those words, Daisuke went home to think about everything that Takeru had told him.
'You matter to me. I don't think I could live without you.' How could Takeru have said something like that to him, and right after he had tried to kill himself, too?. Daisuke felt as if he were being played with. He felt as if Takeru's only reason for trying to make him feel better was so that their relationship could go back to normal. 'Bastard,' Daisuke said in his head. at the same time, Daisuke knew he longed for the same thing: For everything to go back to normal. Thinking about the words that Takeru had said to him nearly brought him to tears.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Looking in the mirror at his reflection that night, Daisuke finally understood the
meaning of those words. 'You matter to me. I don't think I could live without
you.' Takeru was suffering right along side him. Everyone was. Daisuke
knew then that he wasn't alone. In that moment, he understood everything
that Takeru had been getting at.
Daisuke felt he needed to go see him, but it was late and sneaking out would
be hard. Slowly, Daisuke left the bathroom and began to sneak down the
stairs. The third step creaked, and he paused for a moment. No sound. He
continued down and out the door. Running through the streets of Odaiba in
order to get to Takeru's house, Daisuke saw but a blur around him.
Upon arriving at Takeru's house, he walked around to the back. Luckily for
him, one part of their garden was bedded with pebbles. Daisuke threw them
at Takeru's window, who eventually came and opened it. "Daisuke?"
"Takeru, I need to speak with you. Let me in."
A weary Takeru opened the sliding glass door to the back of his house.
"Daisuke," he said, rubbing his eyes, "couldn't you have waited for morning
to come over here?"
"No. This is too important." Daisuke wore that stubborn look that he always
seemed to have when he considered something important.
"Here, it's cold outside, let's go up to my room to talk." Once in Takeru's
room, Daisuke began.
"Takeru...I...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." Takeru only stared on as
Daisuke spoke. "I understand all the pain that I've caused you with all this. I
just...I wanted to...." Daisuke broke into tears at this point, stopping his
speech. Takeru wrapped his arms around Daisuke, who didn't curl back for
the first time ever since it had happened. Daisuke cried on Takeru's shoulder
for a good while, and the two shared their first kiss in a long time through
Daisuke's tears. "I just want everything to be ok," Daisuke said as he once
again composed himself.
"It's ok, Daisuke, it is." Takeru was so happy to look into Daisuke's eyes and
see everything beautiful that had been there before- all the love that Daisuke
held for him. The tears seemed to wash out all of the ugliness in them, all the
anger and depression that had been there before. Everything was clear.
Everything was ok, for the first time in what seemed too long to remember