Amber's Diary
by Michael
October 2, 2137
What a load this is. All I did was throw a rock at Thomas and now I'm stuck in this corner with this empty book. What is Mom thinking? Like I'm going to write about what I did wrong. Please. If he wouldn't stick his tongue out at me all of the time I wouldn't have to shut him up with a pebble special. I know he's always talking crap just to make me mad because he knows I'll get in trouble. He never gets into any trouble. How wrong is that? And he's always wearing that armor piece from one of the bots on his arm. It looks stupid. What's wrong with him? Moron..
Thomas and his brother always get to go to the watchtower with their father as he watches out for the machines. Dad always tells us that we have to stay close by and never lets me go. It's not fair. I think Dad just wants me to watch Sarah and Alan for them while he screws around with that microcomp. What are they doing with it anyway? It doesn't help us run away any faster when the machines come close again. It's just another thing slowing us down. At least Grizzle Bear doesn't slow me down any. He's always there for me and can run really fast. As fast as me anyway.
I think Daddy can run really, really fast, but he never seems to run any faster than the rest of us. I know he could, he just stays with us in case we fall down I guess. Mom says that he used to work with computers when he was a soldier. You would think he would be tired of messing with those by now. It didn't stop him from learning how to run fast though. Dad is really strong.
I am too, but nobody believes me. Grizzle Bear does, but nobody else. Thomas is strong too I guess, but who cares? He should get smarter like his brother Tad is and quit being such a jerk. Tad is only six years old and he still acts smarter than Thomas. Maybe because he doesn't talk much. Maybe he misses his mom. I try to get him to talk to me but Thomas always starts bugging me each time I try. He acts like I shouldn't talk or play with anybody else.
And there he goes again. Off to the watchtower. While I'm stuck here because of him. How long am I going to have to stay here anyway? I'm hungry.
Thanksgiving Day, 2137
Ok, so Mom says I should call this my diary. She says a diary is something that you can write in each day or whenever you feel like writing, and that you can write about anything you want to. Your secrets, your life, anything. Grizzle Bear wanted to write some too, but I told him it was my turn. He's jealous.
Let's see. What am I thankful for today? I'm thankful that I didn't have to wipe off Alan's drool covered chin again. He's so cute, but he's always such a mess. I love him though. I'm glad that we found him. Yes, he slows us down a little. But we couldn't just leave him.
I'm also thankful when Mom brushes my hair. She brushes my hair and Sarah's every night before bed. I get a lot of snags sometimes, but Sarah's hair is straighter than mine and it brushes easier. Lucky her.
The thing I'm thankful for the most is that we haven't had to leave here for a long time now. It's nice to not have to run away again for a while. Oh yeah, I'm very thankful that Dad took a break from the microcomp today and spent time with me at the watchtower. I can't believe he finally took me with him. And all was clear.
December 19, 2137
It's cold today. We stayed inside most of the day and Thomas' father went to the watchtower. His name is Karl. He must be really cold up there. I offered him an extra shirt to wear but he just giggled at me, said thanks anyway, and left without it. He came back a few minutes ago, but he's being really serious with Mom and Dad. He saw a ship flying around out in the distance, but couldn't tell what type. He's a med tech, not a pilot or anything. Dad thinks we must be near an airport. Whether we are or not, it probably won't matter. I guess we'll have to leave here soon. I better pack up. Just in case Mom needs me to look after Sarah and Alan while they deal with the weapons and other things. Time to get to work. More time to write later.
December 24, 2137
Dad started taking over the shifts at the tower and kept seeing more ships. He's decided that we need to leave here before any bots find us. Christmas on the run. Wow.
We stopped for the night in some woods. I'm glad because this stuff is so heavy to carry. I guess that's why we run early. We can't afford to lose some of these things. Especially the weapons and food. And Grizzle Bear. He's in a bag too. Guarding stuff.
Thomas is carrying Grandpa's old shotgun. Dad and Karl want him to keep a weapon close by in case he needs it. It's such an old gun. I wonder if they shouldn't give him one of the lasers. He seems so serious when he's carrying it. He looks so grown up. Like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. The weight of that old relic is anyway. It's too heavy for me. I snuck and tried to pick it up, but it weighs a lot. Anyway, I just want him to be safe. I want all of us to be safe.
Grandpa didn't stay safe. I wish he were still here. He seemed so wise. He always called me his little angel, and talked about country folks. "Country folks can survive anything" he would say. I wonder if he got that from a song, or if he was just trying to make us all feel better. Then came the machines. At least you fought, Grandpa. I miss you.
I have to go. We have to get started early. I wonder where we're going.
January 5, 2138
This is the first time that I've gotten to write again since last year. We've been moving every day for almost two weeks. Mom looks so tired and Sarah hurt her ankle as she was walking. She's trying to hurry, but she has to be carried sometimes. She never cries about it though. It looks swollen, and it has to hurt a lot. But she never cries. Karl keeps trying to treat it, but there's not much that he can do. She'll be all right. It'll just take some time. I hope we have it.
Mom gave me something for Christmas. She called it a coin and said that it was really old. It has things printed on it. It says, "In God We Trust". She says that I should always trust in God's plans for us all. For his plans for me, and everyone else. I just don't understand what his plans are now.
Mom teaches us about God, and many other things when we stop for a while. She calls it school time. I wonder how she got so smart. Maybe it was part of God's plan for her. If it was, it went well.
Karl says that there's a bridge a few miles away from here. If we can cross it tonight or tomorrow night, we should come to an area where he says an old park reserve was at before the war. He says it might be a place where we can stay for a while. There's some kind of a concrete tower there called the Carillon. We can use it as our high point to watch for the biodreads. He says it has a giant bell inside of it also. We could be safe there and have an alarm to ring if anything goes wrong too. There might be tunnels underneath for us to hide in. If they haven't collapsed from the war. We just have to make it there. We have to.
January 6, 2138
We're packed up again and ready for tonight. Dad wants to cross the bridge tonight because it's out in the open and it's too easy for us to be spotted if we try to cross it in the daylight. It's going to be hard to see. It's kind of scary, but I know we can do it. Like Mom always says. In God we trust.
I'll write again after we get across and stop again.
Day unknown, 2138
God, my stomach hurts. It's dark and cold here. Hard to write. The book keeps moving away from me and something is holding my arm in place. I can't reach out to hold my diary still with my left hand. I can't remember everything that happened. It hurts to breathe.
Sarah's here? Why is her hair all wet? She's holding my arm in place. She's got blood on her hands and she's crying? Is she ok?
And I can see Thomas. He's looking down on me. His hair is dripping on me. His face and hair are wet too. Why?
Where are we?
Oh my God. The bridge. They attacked. Sarah fell.
Day unknown, 2138
It's daytime. There's light shining through the window. Shining past Thomas as he stands in front of it, watching outside. I can hear him messing with the shotgun.
Sarah woke me up. I could hear her calling my name. Asking me to wake up. Her eyes are all glassy, like she wants to cry. She keeps trying to feed me something. I don't want it. I feel sick.
The bridge. Mom was yelling Sarah's name. And then my name from up above. Screaming to me. Karl was holding her back from the edge. Dad was shooting a laser across the bridge. I can't remember how I got to the bank, but I remember Sarah laying there. She wasn't breathing and I can remember trying to get her to again. She just laid there as I did what Karl taught me to do. I tilted her head back and started pressing on her. I heard noises behind me. The shooting and the voices, but all I could think of was making Sarah breathe again. I kept yelling, "come on Sarah...breathe". She wouldn't, and I turned to the bridge. Maybe Karl could help me. Then I felt something hit me, and heard Mom screaming. It felt like someone kicked me in the stomach, but nobody was there. I kept looking up, but I started seeing this gray color hazing everything in front of me. And now I'm here.
Where is this place? What's wrong with me?
There's a cross on the wall. Thomas is saying something to me. I can't hear him. He looks scared. I can feel his hand pushing back my hair. I just want to sleep.
Day unknown, 2138
It looks like it's daytime still. The light is still here.
I had a weird dream. There was a tornado chasing me and Tom, and we hid in a tunnel to get away from it. The wind started picking up, and Tommie was being pulled back away from me. I tried to hold on to him, but he kept slipping away. I reached out to grab him with my left hand too, but it was wet with blood.
I grabbed his hand anyway, but he slipped more. Suddenly I felt like I was falling backwards, and I could see him flying away. Now I'm back in the room with the cross again.
I didn't see them before, but there are words carved into the wall above the cross. It says, "Raise thee up". This is a church. God's house. That's what Mom calls it. It's beautiful. There's a statue of an angel on a table across the room. She kind of looks like Mom. Long hair and a thin face. Petite.
Where's Mom and Dad? I've only seen Sarah and Tommy. I asked Sarah and she just keeps saying that they're coming and that they're on their way here. Then she tells me not to worry. Funny, she looks like the worried one.
I can see Tommy working on something as he keeps glancing out the window, but I can't tell what it is. It sounds like metal. He just looked at me. And smiled and stuck his tongue out at me. Jerk. I'll get him for that one too someday. Now he's calling to Sarah. Asking her to watch out the window for a minute. I think he wants to talk to me. I'll have to write again after.
He didn't want me to talk and just made me listen to him. He told me that I went after Sarah when she fell into the water, and he went after me. He said that Sarah washed up on the bank and I got to her and pulled her out. He said the water was in his eyes, but he thought I was trying to clear her of the water so she could breathe when the dreads started firing down on us from the far side of the bridge. I could see him struggling to come up with words and I wanted to ask him why I can't move. He said that they hit me. He says that it's not bad and that everything's going to be fine, but I can tell that he's not telling me something. I told him so, but he just kept looking at me. I kept asking him and he finally said, "Amber...I love you". Then he looked away from me. I could see his chin quivering.
I tried not to cry, but I could feel the first tear running down my face. It's funny, how that first one seems to make you cry even more. I tried to reach out to him but my arm felt heavy and I couldn't make my hand stop shaking. I tried to say it back but Sarah interrupted me. She said that we couldn't stay in the church. If the dreads found the building and figured it was a place of religion they would destroy it while we were inside. Then they started arguing.
Tommy said that they couldn't move me. Then Sarah said that we can't stay where we are. Tommy would say that he wanted Sarah to run away to the East if something happened and he told her to run. Then she would tell him that she wasn't leaving me. Then he would say that he wasn't leaving me either, and it would all start over again. Tommy was frustrated and went back to the window where the gun was again, and kept arguing with Sarah.
All the while I was trying to interrupt them and get them to hear me, but they kept arguing. I tried to yell at them to stop, and suddenly it was quiet. They were both looking at me again, and Sarah moved closer to me. They were both trying to protect me, but I couldn't let them stay with me. I told Tommy to take Sarah and leave, but he kept saying that he wasn't leaving me. Then she would say the same. I had to find a way to make them feel wrong about staying. They couldn't die there with me.
"Please don't let me have to lay here and watch you both die. Please don't let that be the last thing I get to see. I love you. Both. If you were both me, right now, wouldn't you want the same for me? Please go," I said to them. All this did was cause them to cry and gave both of them more resolve to stay, not leave. Both of them started saying that neither of them were leaving. They would both stay and fight off anything coming close to the church. How could I make them leave?
Suddenly Tommy shushed at us and aimed the gun out the window. Sarah moved up behind him. I told them to run again, but they stayed at the window. Sarah said something that I couldn't make out. Then she said it again louder, her voice cracking as she yelled it out. "Daddy".