by Severance, with a little input by CJK
(Clare, Sarah and Trish are property of CJK, Colette is mine and the rest of the gang are all property of the Goddess JKR :)
Snape groaned inwardly when he thought about the next potions lesson of the 7th years. Not that teaching a combined class of Hufflepuffs and Slytherins was bad enough (he almost wished back the Gryffindors instead of Hufflepuff, but he would *never* admit this in public), it was the first class after the horrible accident with the Stripotion, as it was dubbed right away by anyone who heard about it.
He felt the blood rush into his head again when he thought about the embarassment and fought back the reaction. It would be worse if he would be seen red like a ripe tomato. Nothing was allowed to marr the dark, mysterious and inapproachable persona that had taken him years to cultivate.
Yes. He would avoid another ...indecent exposure. Most definitely so! Thus he decided to put on a tight, stark black rubber suit under his robe before the next lesson. Too bad that he couldn't lock Trish McKay, Clare Murray and Sarah Jenkins into a closet far away for the rest of their time in Hogwarts!
He strode towards his classroom, but was intercepted by Professor Trelawney just when he had left his own rooms. Snape frowned deeply. What brought the slightly insane psychic down into the dungeons?
"Severus! I saw this vision of you in a thong and white lab coat... It was sooo ...indecent of you," she said flushing and clumsily adjusting her hair. Her smoky voice sounded slightly ...seductive, Snape thought in alarm.
"And I had better not mention what vision I had of you today!" This time she blushed furiously. Hiding it from Snape's sight, she made an almost invisible wand movement, lifting the hem of his robe a couple of inches. "Awww! It *is* true!"
If Snapes facial expression had been sour before, his face now turned into a mask of fury. "Never. Ever. Dare. To. Touch. Me. Again," he hissed coldly, demonstrating nicely his affinity to the Slytherin house's totem.
"But Severus!" Sybill Trelawney looked sligthly hurt. "I wanted to tell you the rest of my vision.."
"Get. Out. Of. Here."
"If you insist..." In a huff, the Divination professor floated away.
Snape took a deep breath. This day didn't start well at all. With an even darker mien than before, he continued his stride towards the Potions classroom.
* * *
In the class, the students awaited Snape's appearance with great interest. Even the Slytherins showed some new and very atypical respect for the Hufflepuffs.
"It was not our fault that his robes dissolved," Trish McKay stated flatly.
Next to her, her faithful sidekick, companion, and the only person that was able to keep her on this side of insanity (don't ask, dear reader, what side that would be) - Sarah Jenkins - nodded emphatically. "It was an accident."
The third member of the trio and its Head Researcher frowned. "I still haven't quite figured out why the potion reacted with the material in quite that way.
A slim, dark haired Slytherin girl went over to them and said reluctantly: "Well, I saved some of the potion for further research..." She showed them a spray bottle she had hidden in a pocket of her robe.
The Hufflepuff three looked at the Slytherin in amazement. Colette deWinter was a very aloof girl. Somehow she didn't seem to belong into House Slytherin - some of her house mates often made snide remarks of her being a wanna-be Ravenclaw.
Colette didn't mind. She knew she was better than them, and she knew that she could surpass them all. When they had finished school, she would show them all, she vowed. She'd become a famous Witch and her books would become standard issues at the Wizarding schools and universities!
"You saved some, yeah. So did I," Clare shrugged.
Colette frowned and her delusions of grandeurs dissolved in an instant. But she had the potion in a practical spray bottle, she thought sulkily, turning the vessel around in her hands.
"He's coming," a pudgy boy, who stood at the door, called.
Clare couldn't suppress a silly giggle as the line invoked some totally different thoughts in her. But then, Snape was by far the hottest teacher they had - even though he was so mean. But she suspected it was only an act to shoo away all the suitors who weren't truly determined.
Colette went back to her desk in the Slytherin side of the classroom, the spray bottle grasped firmly in her hands.
When she passed Clare's table that was located just right in front of the teacher's desk, she didn't notice the strap of the Hufflepuff's bag lying in her way. She stumbled over it and fell down, a thin mist of the potion escaping the spray bottle during the process and settling down on desk and chair.
"Eep!" Colette scrambled to her feet, scooped up the bottle and fled to her place. Hopefully no one had noticed, she thought, trying to suppress a furious blush. Fortunately nothing of the mist had touched her robe, she thought in relief.
Professor Snape made his usual entry, billowing cloak and everything. He was very satisfied with himself, having taken all precautions to prevent a happening like last time.
He glared nastily at the Hufflepuffs, intent on making their lives a living hell for the remainder of the course.
"Let us see if your feeble minds have managed to absorb the knowledge it takes to brew a proper CleanUp Potion," he said in his usual derisive whisper that brought the class to silence faster than any shouting by Professor Binns.
Colette watched his every movement with eyes wide open in horror. When the Professor sat down on his chair, she clasped her hand over her mouth to stifle a moan, before she tried to look as innocent as possible. It wasn't her fault that this stupid Hufflepuff girl let the strap of her bag lie where one could stumble over it, after all.
For Snape nothing seemed amiss when ge got up some minutes later to check on the progress of his students.
The three Hufflepuffs clang together, sotto voce discussing the workings of their ClothDissolution Potion, while Trish, who was the fastest of the three, put together the CleanUp potion to give them the time to analyze their 'accident' from the day before.
Colette's spray bottle was a good idea, Clare thought and procured another spray bottle to test the potion in dilution. While Snape turned his back to them to check onto a Slytherin boy' s work, she grinned evilly and begann to spray a thin mist of the diluted potion in the space before her desk and fixated it with a Stay Spell.
Sarah nudged Clare in the side, almost bursting from suppressed giggles.
"What's up?"
"Look!" She pointed in the direction of their Professor whose robe sported a nice hole just at his backside. What amused her even more were the form-fitting black rubber tights he obviously wore beneath it.
Clare exploded from laughter. "Nice!" Tears of mirth streamed down her face.
"I never thought he was that much into BDSM," Trish commented dryly. "A little, yes, but..."
With long strides, Snape marched snarling towards the Hufflepuff offenders, not aware of the nearly invisible potion mist he entered. "What is it that you find so amusing? Ten points off Hufflepuff!" he hissed.
The three girls might have been horrified of his nasty grimace Snape directed at them, had not his cloak begun to evolve tiny holes that made it look like finest lace.
"Rubber and lace", Clare sighed raptly. "I think I'm in love!"
"Me too!" the other girls joined the chorus.
* * *
Snape more or less fled out of his classroom, the Dissolution Potion now having finished the job of eating up the cloth.
Much to his horror, he ran into Professor McGonagall. Why, by Hecate, was everyone down here, harassing him in his own dungeons? He glared at her, not reaching quite the usual effect in his current attire.
"Severus, are you wearing a... rubber suit?" Minerva gasped, leaning onto the corridor wall for support.
"Yes."
"And...," she blushed slightly, "Did you really wear a... a... thong last night?"
"Yes."
"Severus, is everything all right?" she frowned, reaching for his arm.
"Yes!"
"Should I mind my own business?"
"Yes."
He strode away, head held high, but sadly deprived of his usual air without the billowing cloak.