It's best if you have a little knowledge of Spermatogenesis and that you be a bit off your rocker before you read this story.
He was Lord Voldemort, the greatest sperm cell ever! He could and would defeat all the other male gametogonia that tried to get in his way of developing into the most powerful, honorable, fast, and mature sperm to have ever existed. He pushed and shoved his way past that annoying Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter.
He would beat them! He would! He'd be the first and the best!
When The Great and Amazing Lord Voldemort finally felt himself in the optimal conditions in the seminiferous tubules that he had planned and plotted all this time for he began to change – he could feel it!- into a diploid spermatogonium. Hah! Beat that Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore!
Waaahhh! Potter and Dumbledore are also spermatogonium! No fair – I was first!
Slowly, but surely The Great And Amazing Lord Voldemort began moving away from the walls of the tubules and into the innermost part. As he moved inwards he continued to change. First, into the Greastest, Most Powerful Primary Spermatocyte. Then into the Most Marvelous and Evil Seconday Spermatocyte. Eventully into an Awe-inspiring spermatid. Then last but not least into the Greatest and Most Amazing spermatozoa to ever be seen!
Lord Voldemort was not happy. For Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore had also developed into spermatozoa! That wasn't the worst of it though! Hundreds, a great many other insignificant stem cells had also developed into immature sperm! Lord Voldemort was very, very angry. He calmed himself with the thought that even though those worms had managed as well that he would still be THE GREATEST MATURE SPERM EVER!!!
So with that inspiration Lord Voldemort continued on his journey and traveled to the epididymis where he matured into the MOST EVIL AND GREATEST MATURE SPERM EVER!!!! And now he was stuck waiting here with Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, and about a thousand other insignificant, weak worms…..
Total crack fic, despite the fact that I'm not on crack or any other drugs. This popped into my head when I was studying for Zoology and I thought what the heck! It might just be amusing, more fun than studying….