A/N: Honestly, I can't stand songfics. I mean, really? What's the point? No one really reads the lyrics and just skips straight to the story. At least that's what I do, anyways. Well, I tried to prove myself wrong with a song I really really like…let's see how this goes…
MISERY BUSINESS, PARAMORE
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ben 10 or anything by the most awesome band in the world, Paramore.
By: ParamoreXO
"I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top."
Whenever you drop a vase or priceless dining plate and it falls to the floor, there's that fleeting moment you feel inside of yourself that there's danger and you are in so much trouble if whatever is falling breaks. It's as if the whole world stops spinning, everything freezes as a thousand questions race through your mind and overcrowd it to the point of a migraine. You reach out for it but it's too late, it's already shattering. Once it takes on impact it just explodes like crazy, a million shards fly and scatter like the ocean's salty spray across the floor. Well, for now, let's pretend that beautiful, fragile vase or porcelain chinaware is my heart.
Even though I'm not fully human, I have emotions just like you. I can feel special just with one loving look from the guy of my dreams, miserable just because I missed the bus and was late to first period (try adding a failed test score to that. Yeah, it really sucks then!), alone whenever no one is there for me or has turned their backs to me, hurt whenever someone's extremely snobby to you, and even happy just for living life. I love Kevin, I really do, but when he took my heart and threw it away, I felt like I had no emotions anymore. All there was inside of me was emptiness…a dark pit of despair and sorrow. It was as if my heart had been replaced by a black hole, every emotion sucked out of me. Feeling like it just couldn't take the pressure anymore, it bursted with the all ache he caused me.
"She's got a body like an hourglass it's ticking like a clock"
Every time he had told me he thought I was beautiful felt like one big lie to me when I saw him twisting his very words with that slut. It was as if I had been cheated out of life and all the promises made to me were empty. When I saw her pressed up against him, I wanted to do a lot of things. I would have pulled all of my hair out, I was so angry. Maybe I should've turned around and cried my way back home like my burning, watery eyes were threateningly urging me to do. Or I could've gone up to their sickly entwined bodies and kicked her. Hard. Until she bled.
I couldn't bring myself to do anything, though, but stand there and gape unbelievingly at them. She was beautiful, maybe that's why he was kissing her so hard? Her long brunette mane was wedged in between his traitorous fingers…the ones that had held mine for two years, seven months, and nineteen days every day I'd apparently wasted my heart on. She dressed like most girls at my school would; there was way more skin showing than her barely-there clothes.
When Kevin had finally become conscious of my presence and they broke apart, the whore's face was caked with makeup, her red lipstick staining both of their surprised faces. She wasn't genuinely beautiful, I could tell that much by all the unnecessary, thick foundation, heavy charcoal eyeliner, and globby eye shadow. Yet, I felt extremely jealous. It could've been her impossibly curvy figure that put even Barbie to shame. Or maybe it was because she was closer to Kevin than I would've allowed for comfort.
"It's a matter of time before we all run out…"
"Gwen…" His lips parted as he tried to spit out whatever useless explanation was on his mind. I wasn't about to give him the time of day. I had seen enough, it was obvious he wanted someone other than me now. Was I too boring for him now that we'd been together for so long? Was shea better kisser than me?
Turning on my heel, I willed my itching eyes not to let the tears spill that were threatening to jump off the rims of my sockets. I couldn't give either of them the satisfaction to know that their little stab in my back had done more damage than Kevin had done to his car in his last drag race (which was a lot, considering how many times it had flipped over and the amount of time it took to put out the fire inside it.). Before I knew it, I was sprinting away from his garage, away from that…that boyfriend stealer! The scenery passing by was a blur in my salt filled eyes. People stared at my tear stained cheeks, wondering why I was a mess, most likely, but did nothing. No one asked if I was okay. I wasn't stopped with anyone's concern. My arms and legs just kept pumping along with my broken heart, carrying myself far away as possible from him.
Smile, breathe, put one foot in front of the other. No, I'm not okay, thanks for not asking.
"When I thought he was mine, she caught him by the mouth"
What had I done wrong? Kevin had said he loved me a million times and it never wore out. Every time those words would tumble in my ears between our hungry, wanting kisses, it felt like a first. That feeling where my toes felt fuzzy like they were wrapped in fleece would always begin at those words. Then it was like someone had poured maple syrup into me, my insides turned to warm, sweet sugary mush.
We had been a "perfect couple" according to Ben and Julie. Even my parents agreed to the cuteness factor of our relationship after a while and it can be pretty hard to warm up to my dad like that. I guess I'd thought wrong.
The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, as if it were about to plunge on a dare, it held its position in suspense. Would he do it? Or was he too chicken?
Lungs screaming, I decided to rest. Apparently, I ran all the way to the park which was abandoned. As I lowered myself onto the startling green, lush grass, I laid back and stared at the sky, feeling the tears burn and trickle with no restraint.
It was a mix of night and day; dark, cool colors of the night threatened to swirl over and claim the heavens as its own, chasing down the golden slivers of morning and daylight. Ghosts of my past dates in the park with Kevin haunted me, the dam I'd built for my tears starting to bust. Closing my watery eyes, I let the rest of my woe leak out of me.
"I waited eight long months, she finally set him free"
It wasn't fair. I had waited for so long for that first kiss and she comes along and manages to steal one away in a night. Maybe a day? Hours? Ten minutes…or less? Who was this girl, anyways? How did Kevin even know her? Was this the man Kevin really was on the inside? A hooker of some kind who went behind their girlfriends' back with another girl?
"Gwen? Please, can I talk to you?"
"I told him I couldn't lie, he was the only one for me"
"I think you've done enough, Kevin. I don't need an explanation of what was going on back there," I didn't bother looking at him or to hide my tears. Fine, let him see what he did to me. I hope it made him feel guilty inside, a sinful Hell raging inside of his wicked heart.
"Actually, you do. I owe it to you." I sensed him next to me as he lowered himself onto the soft blanket of grass covering the earth. I shivered as his arms brushed against my legs, his touch always having that affect on me. "What you saw back there was…nothing."
At those words, I shot up, glaring at him straight in the eyes, "Oh yeah? It was nothing?Sure looked like something to me! Or were you trying to get something, instead? Too tired of waiting for me, Levin?" I jabbed him firmly in the chest, trying not to let the touch of his chiseled features falter me, "Does my being abstinent bother you? Do you not want to wait that long for me? Is that it? Trying to get into some other girl's pants?"
The whole time I screamed at him, he tried to get a word in but I wouldn't have it. Instead, he stared back at me, his hurt obsidian eyes huge in their sockets.
"Yeah, thought so." I started to get up, only to be pulled back down into Kevin's strong, muscular arms. "Kevin! Let…me…go!" Struggling against his vice grip on me, I knew it was no use. Once he wanted something, he wasn't going to stop until he was satisfied.
"Listen to me, Gwen! I mean it!" Shifting uncomfortably in his lap, I stared at him, one eyebrow raised, waiting. He sighed, obviously not pleased with my reaction. Good.
"I'm a total idiot. You knew that from day one that I screw up all the time. That back there happened to be one of those times."
"Oh, so you just expect me to forgive you because you were screwing around?" Arms crossed, I grinded my teeth together to keep anything else from spitting out of my mouth.
"No, I don't. Not at all. I just thought it would be fair for you to know that it wasn't any of your fault for what happened."
"Great. Now let me go, I want to go home," I waited for him to let go, but he never did. "Kevin, I'm serious!"
"Me too…" Mmm, was it me, or was his breath really fruity right now? It felt really good on my ear…last time we— "KEVIN!"
I tried to shove him off of my shaky body. He was so dangerously close to my neck, to breaking my unforgivable barrier. "She was throwing herself at me, Gwen. The instant she kissed me, it wasn't anything like kissing you. I really regretted having kissed her when I really should have sent her away."
His eyes held glimmering truth, I could see it. He wasn't lying, "Yeah, well, next time I see her she's g-going to be really s-sorry…h-how do you know her, anyways?"
"Creepy neighbor at my apartment. Thank goodness I'm moving back in with my mom," I couldn't help but giggle a little. I really didn't want to leave him. We were too close for this to happen. As he cupped my face in his hands I stared at him, ready to listen for all he had to say. It was typical of him…he knew just how to put out the flare of my heated temper. "I'm sorry, Gwen, I never wanted to hurt you. Sometimes I can be really stupid, though. With you…everything becomes easier. I know you won't judge me for who I really am but without you I'm lost. I don't want to lose you."
Tracing my finger a little teasingly up his chest, I batted my lashes just a bit for a dash of flirt, "I don't know…I think you're missing something with your apology."
The look on his face was priceless; clear cut confusion. Giggling, I leaned into him, his overgrown bangs brushing up lightly against my forehead and tickling the bridge of my nose, "This."
The instant my lips met his, I was glad I'd done so. His response was what I had been hoping for. Without missing a beat, Kevin wrapped his arms around my waist and shot up onto his feet, carrying me with him. Swinging around in his embrace, my feet swung along with his twirling motion. I was laughing against his smiling lips now, throwing my head back to let my hair tumble out into the cool breeze that coiled around our entwined bodies. Seizing the opportunity, his lips ambushed my neck while settling me into a standing position on the soft grass, the twirling stopped, to let the tender tone sink in. The last time I remember coming up for air after all those countless kisses, the sun had tucked itself under the horizon a long time ago.
"Two weeks and we caught on fire, she's got it out for me but I wear the biggest smile"
Despite our make-up make-out session, letting Kevin back in wasn't the easiest thing for me to do. Every time I was separated from him I had an uneasy feeling overwhelm me that wherever he was, he was kissing that brunette, plastic, ultra-fake demon. But as the week dragged on, I knew I had nothing to worry about. Kevin always tried to get off work early just so we could hang out and be together. Every day that I would walk out the plate glass double doors of my High School, sure enough he was waiting for me, car parked on the curb to take me off on some adventure before taking me home.
I didn't feel bad about any of it. I had him back, he was mine again. Even though our trust had wavered a little, it was starting to build back up, possibly stronger than ever before. And according to Ben, we were getting a little more "mushier". Not that I cared that he made gagging noises behind my back. I was still happy…maybe the happiest I'd ever been in my life.
As I sat on my front porch with the warm cement from the sun's rays beating upon it all day long, I waited for Kevin's green and black striped Camero to pull up and whisk me away on our date. Anything to get out of this place. All morning, I got the vibe that my parents sensed that something had happened between me and Kevin. I'd assured them way too many times that yes, everything was okay and no, I would never take anythingthatfar. I'm a girl of abstinence, that's that. If Kevin can't wait that long, then he'd have to beat it.
Looking down at my outfit, I had to resist the urge to dash inside and find a full length mirror again. I'd done that at least five times already and it was really wearing down the bottoms of my strappy heels, completed with a cute little bow on the end. The rest of my outfit was pretty cute, if I had to say so myself. With a denim mini-skirt, flow-y grass green racer back tank (which matched my eyes perfectly), and flawlessly applied makeup, I felt like a model. Maybe even America's Next Top Model. I'd decided to wear my fire red hair in my normal fashion, tied up high in a ponytail. I wasn't about to change everything. That was for prom. Besides, where we were heading wasn't super fancy. A classic combo of burger, fries, and a milkshake was something Kevin and I could take up any day.
Perking up, the purr of the familiar Camero's engine met my ears. It was like the sound of sweet, golden music to my ears. Getting up from my spot on the porch, I couldn't help but flash a smile as Kevin jumped out and leaned against the slick side of his car, "Hey babe," He called out, obsidian eyes scanning my body up and down. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks as his eyes rested on low neckline, "Wow," He said so quietly that I almost missed it. "Hey, Kev," I walked up to him, my heart doing a crazy twist as his cologne hit me. The fresh scent wrapping around me along with his strong arms was intoxicating, making harder to think straight.
Trailing my fingers up his incredibly sculpted chest, I hooked a finger on his neckline, the other hand tracing up his collarbone, "Miss me?"
His dark eyes bored into mine, twinkling with an intense flicker of mischief, "The past eighteen hours have been Hell without you."
"We can always make up those hours," I started to rise up on tiptoe; my lips dangerously close to his tempting, grinning pair. "You know, ditch the whole date idea at the movies and go to your house instead?"
"Sounds really promising," Kevin's hands dipped a little lower from behind my back, thumbs hooking in the belt loops of my denim mini, "But why do that when we can go to the movies and then go to my house?"
A sly smile smoothed over my glossy lips, "You're mom's still away, right?"
"Bingo," His warm breath hit my lips, signaling that he was closing in for the kill. The instant his soft, full lips pressed lightly against mine, a high pitched screech scraped against my eardrums, causing us to jump apart.
"NO WAY!" Both our heads shot to the right to find the source of the words. Standing there on the curb, arms crossed tight, was the girl from Kevin's garage who had thrown herself at him, "So it's true, you really broke up with me for her?"
"Broke up with you?" Kevin's rough voice spit at the brunette diva. It looked like after he left her, she'd cried all her makeup off. At least, that's what the ridiculously smudged eye makeup circling her eyes told me. That or she was really pulling off the trashy look. "We never had anything to begin with!"
"WHAT?" Her shrill shout made me cringe. Have I ever mentioned that her voice sounded like she'd had a head cold for her whole life, extremely nasally?
"So back off, bitch," I grabbed the front of Kevin's shirt, pulling him into me, "He's mine." With that, I crushed my lips against his velvety pair, smiling against the searing kiss.
"Ugh!" She stormed back to her hot pink convertible that was parked in a puddle at the curb, roaring to life and ferociously rumbling down the road. Kevin and I hardly noticed. Instead, his hands gripped more firmly on my hips as he picked me up and twirled me around. Laughing at the carefree, swirling feeling enveloping me, his tongue slipped into my open mouth. With each skillful caress his tongue made on mine, my heart felt like it was doing flips in my chest, bursting with mixed feelings like no other that I'd ever felt pump inside of me before.
"WOAH! I never meant to brag but I've got him where I want him now! WOAH! It was never my intention to brag, to steal it all away from you now."
When we'd both come to the realization that she'd pulled away, it could've been at least ten minutes later. If it was for my parents flicking the front porch lights on and off repeatedly, we never would have broken apart.
Wiping the corner of his mouth, Kevin quickly rounded on the passenger side, distractedly opening my door for me. "Thanks," I mumbled, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Had my parents seriously seen everything that had just happened?
"Anything for you," Right before he shut my door, he swooped down and pecked my slightly swollen lips swiftly, teasingly licking the surface of my top lip like a flame of passionate fire.
As the city lights streaked on by in my vision, I eyed the time digitally displayed on his clock, "Umm, Kevin? I think we missed our movie."
It felt like butterflies were wildly flapping against my insides, giddiness causing me to shake all over as if an earthquake had erupted within me. Kissing Kevin in front of that wasted brunette had been a major victory. I could feel pride well up in my chest, the glory of winning causing my smile to shine like a polished golden medal.
"Too bad, huh? Guess we'll just have to go back to my place for the night," His wicked smile sent shivers cascading down my spine.
"I have about four hours. It should be enough for a start."
"What kind of action are you looking for?" He questioned, brow perched high as he made a sharp turn.
"Anything you've got," I purred into his neck, leaning over the compartment that was wedged between our bodies.
"God, Gwen…please, do not make me w-wreck…" Sensing his car roll to a stop at a red light, my lips worked on a certain sensitive spot on his neck that I'd come accustomed to. His words had trailed off, breathy and stuttered. I smiled wide against his flesh, my hands trailing across his chest once again. Slightly leaning back, my lips grazed over a patch of skin right under his ear, "Just following tradition for a red light."
"Yeah, well," The engine's steady purr broke into an ear shattering roar as he zipped across the cross section. Bummed, I pulled away, barely able to wait any longer for him to pull up into his driveway.
"But God does it feel so good, coz I've got him where I want him now"
The instant he pulled his keys out of the ignition, the flirty touches and movements started all over again, "Wait here," Kevin's index finger skimmed under my chin, flashing me a smile that melted my heart. As he made his way to my door, I had to resist the urge to squeal like a little girl and kick my legs out with happiness. Excitement erupted inside me, bursting and unleashing all the whimsical emotions inside of me. Seatbelt zipping across my chest, I started to get up out of my seat when my side door flew open. However, Kevin stopped me, climbing onto the seat with me, the leather moaning beneath our combined weight. "I thought I'd try something new that I've been dying to do for a while." His minty breath taunted me as he began to stretch the seatbelt across both of our bodies. Shifting to get comfortable, I draped my legs over his lap, exposed thighs in plain view. Once I heard an assuring click, I began to snake my arms around his broad shoulders.
"So, how long?"
"Huh?" He breathed, his fingertips drumming against my legs. Laughing, I settled my forehead on his, midnight black hair tickling the bridge of my nose, "How long have you been imagining this, your wonderful idea?"
"Oh," His grin was wide and devilish, "Even since you first sat in this very spot."
My heart skipped a beat, "Whoa."
Shivering, I watched intently as he licked his lips, feeling his hands artfully crawl up to my hips. "Impressed?"
Tossing his long hair this way and that, I leaned into him just an inch more, "Oh, I've always been impressed."
"Good," With that, his lips met mine in a searing kiss. As he began to tug at my bottom lip, coaxing me to open up for him, a little whimper escaped my wanting lips. "Shhhh," he breathed ever so gently, widening the gap between my top and bottom lips as he spread them apart with his own. Dragging a breath out like a cigarette, sparks flew the instant he began to wickedly dandle my tongue with his. As he explored every corner and bend, I brought my hands to his chest, raking my fingers down it slowly, tugging playfully at the cotton fabric that blocked my view from his buff torso.
Wrestling with his tongue, we tried to pin the other down with vexatious maneuvers and vivacious licks. As his hands worked up my sides, he playfully poked a weak spot that made me break apart, laughing. Pouncing, he leaned farther into my body, chests heaving against each other frantically. I could feel the seatbelt press against my back with more of a restraint. Slipping a hand from behind his neck, I unbuckled the seatbelt with a sigh of relief, "Afraid I'll run away?" I teased, bursting out in giggles again as he began lightly tickling me again. The leather seat beneath us squeaked as we shifted. When I threw my head back, Kevin's craving lips soothed against the flesh covering my neck, starting with the little dip between my collar bones. Working his way up, painstakingly slowly climbing to the top, he stopped at a particularly sensitive spot that he knew oh-so well. As he deepened the kiss farther and farther, I felt myself being pushed up against the dashboard. I could care less with the way his lips were buzzing against me. Now, his wickedly skillful hands were smoothing over thighs, brushing against the hem of my skirt as he pushed it up with each little stroke against the denim.
"And if you could then you know you would, coz God it just feels so… it just feels so good"
Suddenly feeling bold, I slid my hands down his arms, nearly fainting at each bulge of muscle that they traveled over. As my fingers wrapped gently around his wrists, I motioned for him to move upwards, poking under my skirt. Moaning out loud, I could hardly handle the explosive tingles that were shooting throughout my body as he sucked tenderly on my neck. Caressing his way to my chin, I felt my heart beat even faster as his hands slid even father up, my skirt starting to completely bunch up around my waist.
"Kevin," I sighed, eyes closed, trying to carefully push him back, "K-Kevin!"
In one quick motion, his hands slid out from under my denim mini, completely off my body. His head pulled back, eyes connecting with mine as I blinked them open. His dark as night eyes were pooling with concern, "Are you okay? Did I go too far? Was I—"
To shut him up, I planted my lips on the corner of his mouth, sucking on it for a fleeting second, and then broke away. "I'm fine, silly! Honestly! I was just…" My cheeks started to burn under his affectionate strokes, "wondering if we could head inside now? I feel like the whole street is watching with the window open and what not," Pointing to the open window, Kevin realized that my feet had been dangling out, being laid across Kevin's lap and all.
"Well, we put on quite a show, didn't we?" Kevin's voice was husky as he swiftly opened the door.
"Definitely," I winked, laughing as he scooped me up and carried me out of the vehicle. Even though my skirt was probably exposing the bottom half of my underwear (which, luckily, I had been wearing my favorite and laciest pair) and my hair was most likely in tangles, I could care less. In Kevin's rock hard, secure arms, I felt on top of the world. Burying my head in his shoulder, the scent of gasoline and aftershave engulfed my senses, drowning me in a lustful wave of smells. The way he kept blowing cool little puffs of air into my ear made goose bumps shoot up all throughout my body, crawling all over my skin.
I heard the keys on his key ring jingle as he fitted the house one to the lock. Once it clicked open, the faint aroma of cinnamon and warm vanilla overwhelmed me, Mrs. Levin's favorite scented air fresheners giving off their signature homey smells. "Bed… or couch?" Kevin whispered into the top of my head once the door was shut, vexing words tumbling into my fiery hair.
Biting my lip, I glanced at the clock that was hanging on the wall right next to the coat rack. I only had two hours and thirteen minutes left. Lifting my head, I grazed my lips against his neck as lightly as a feather, "Bed."
"Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change. Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry but that'll never change. And about forgiveness, we're supposed to have exchanged. I'm sorry honey but I'm passing up, now look this way!"
Sitting cross-legged on top of the fluffy, cloud like comforter of Kevin's bed, I watched as he closed the blinds. Kicking off my heels, I tried to ignore the small blisters that were forming on my sore feet. Plush pillow clutched tightly against my stomach, I spat out the words racing in my mind. "Kevin…before we do anything, I want you to know that I am still remaining abstinent and that—"
"Gwen," Kevin smiled warmly, lying down on the bed and resting his head on the pillow I was holding, "I totally respect that. If that's what you thought I wanted tonight, it's not. In fact," his hands reached up to find mine, weaving his fingers through my smaller set of five on my right hand, "I was hoping we could talk a little."
With my free hand, I began kneading the tight muscles in his tense shoulders, relaxing him a bit. Instantly, a smile made its way up my not-so-glossy-anymore lips, "Of course we can…I'd love that."
"Good," he blew out a sigh, "And keep doing that, it feels amazing."
Laughing, I worked steadily at his slightly loosening shoulders, "I always pulled a muscle in Tae Kwan Do and picked up a few massaging techniques along the way."
"Yes…you…did…" Kevin trailed off, his voice showing all the pleasuring he was feeling. After a while of comfortable silence, he spoke up, "I'm glad that Ellie saw us back at your house. I knew she wasn't going to give up until she had complete proof that you and me were really together."
Ellie…so that was her name. "Sounds pretty clingy," I commented drily.
"I'm so lucky to have you, Gwen. You have no idea how lucky I feel."
"Why? Because I'm giving you a five star shoulder massage?" I teased, moving my hands rhythmically all over his shoulders.
"It's a plus but…" his voice turned stone serious, "I never thought I'd end up with a girl who is great, beautiful, sexy, powerful, an amazing kisser, caring, and as amazing as you."
I could feel the blood rushing to my heating cheeks, my heart skipping a beat or two. My hands stopped moving, I couldn't think, "Kevin…thank you, I—"
"Gwen," He sat up to face me properly, his rugged, handsome face looking unsure, "Do you…do you think we'll actually end up together…forever?"
The questioning look in his obsidian eyes were dead locked with mine, "I…I-I hope so."
One of his brows lifted, "You do?"
Hugging the soft pillow even closer to my chest, my gaze shifted to his shoes that had traces of dry mud on the bottom, "Well, right now, I'm still not entirely sure. I mean, I love you Kevin, I really do! Every day I spend with you," I felt his calloused hands slip into mine, giving them a reassuring squeeze, "I feel that I couldn't stand being away from you a single second of my life. And every day that passes by, the more I feel that it's harder to go on without you. I don't want to just mark the days off of calendar pages…I want that calendar to have no end. That made me realize that I actually…" I gulped, daring myself to look into his eyes. Orbs of dark obsidian were stained with compassion, love mixed somewhere in there. It gave me the strength to say the rest of the words that were hanging on the tip of my tongue.
"Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you, looking as innocent as possible to get to who they wanted what they like, it's easy if you do it right! Well I refuse, I refuse, I REFUSE!"
"I realized that I don't just love you, Kevin. I'm in love with you."
"WOAH! I never meant to brag but I've got him where I want him now. WOAH! It was never my intention to brag, to steal it all away from you now."
"Gwen," He started with his tone huskier than I had expected it to be. Thumbs racing in circles around my hands, his eyes were like magnets to mine. I couldn't let go of that deep, dark, earthy attraction unless he let go of my eyes. "I fell in love with you a long time ago and that isn't going to change now. I know I've messed up, like I did a few weeks ago, but I do these things because I'm in love with you. Whenever Ellie kissed me, it felt wrong…almost like I was going to be sent to the Null Void again because o f that…and that place is scary as Hell!"
"I'm so sor—" I began but was cut off.
"Don't be," his smile was enough to make my already wildly racing heart do flips, "It made me who I am today, Gwen. Everything that got me here, to this moment, I'm glad it happened."
"But God does it feel so good, coz I've got him where I want him right now"
"Me too," I assured him, sliding across the comforter to get closer to him.
"And if you could then you know you would, coz god it just feels so…it just feels so good"
That's when everything that my senses had believed was a dream all day became real. That unforgettable look in his eyes was too natural to be made up by any tricks my mind would play. That intense, earthy, pure and glassy obsidian look was piercing mine. It was as if he was looking straight into my soul, no secrets to build up walls and no fences to set restrictions separate from the world.
Resting a finger right below the underwire of my bra, Kevin eased me down to lie down on my back. As he climbed on top of me, he planted kisses in the most random spots. Pressing his lips down on my knee, he sucked very lightly on the skin I was hoping wasn't the least bit prickly (did I shave last night?). As he inched up even higher, his tongue flickered against my exposed hip…this miniskirt was probably the best idea ever. The springs beneath us creaked as he hiked up an inch higher, lips grazing against the skin right above my neckline; face practically buried in my chest. I tried my best not to let a single moan escape my lips and break through the spell, realizing that this kiss was probably longest so far. Each surprise excited me, causing my lips to itch for that final kiss even more.
This wasn't a dream but it sure felt like I was living one!
His soft, velvety lips left a trail of lingering kisses up my neck and jaw, stopping at my ear. Blowing into it suggestively, he made my bottom lip tremble with a flood of pleasure and bliss. Teeth carefully biting playfully down on my earlobe, he tugged at it, causing my whole body to quake at the buzzing sensation shooting through me. His lips then found my cheeks, tenderly kissing each one with such fragileness as if he would break me if he applied any more pressure on me.
"Kevin…" I sighed, my hands toying with his shaky, inky black hair. I could feel my frantic heartbeat pound against his chest, pumping off a blend of pure happiness and pleasure.
"Hmm?" His lips buzzed against the farthest corner of my lip, barely even pressing against it.
"I…I think I c-could stay…for a little l-longer…" The way his hands were running up and down my thighs was making me absolutely crazy, physical thoughts clouding up my mind.
"I don't want you to get in any trouble because of me," He breathed, spearmint breath intoxicating, nearly suffocating me. I hated how his husky voice wasn't wavering like mine. Hmm…we'll just see about that.
Taking his rough, warm hands in mine, I slid them around my back, making sure they ran over the clasp of my bra many times. His eyes closed as he bit his lip, looking like he was trying to restrain from something. I couldn't help but grin, it was making him crazy. "But you know you want me to stay…" I pressed my body even closer to him, "…Don't you?"
"I…I…um, y-yes."
HA! I felt like I was lifted up high in the air in victory. I made him stutter. "Then what's wrong with me staying a little longer?" Resting my lips on his neck, I began to trail up to his jaw line with kisses as light as a butterfly. I could feel his fingers lightly drumming against the clasp on my back, thinking things through.
"Don't…make me do something you don't want me to do Gwen," I stopped kissing his jaw and looked up. His eyes were pleading for me, "Please."
Twirling a piece of my hair, I leaned in so our noses touched, "Just because I want us to wait, it doesn't mean we can't do other things."
That devious sparkle came back to his deep, pit-like eyes, "Like…?"
Cocking my head to the side, I felt his fingers gently brush the hair out of my face, sending tingles throughout my body. "This," As I leaned in to kiss him, right before I let my lips surrender to his, I gasped, taking his breath away (literally) and the dove in for the kill. The way he was tugging on my bottom lip made me shiver against his muscular body. Sly as a snake, his arms slithered around my waist, hands boldly digging into my back pockets. What shocked me was that with him touching me there didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable to me. It felt…right.
Being courageous myself, I let my hands glide under his shirt, fingers racing across each muscle they bumped into. Each rise and fall of his chiseled chest made shivers erupt throughout me; I had to keep myself from sighing out loud. The feel of skin on skin was exhilarating, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. As his tongue glided across mine, I heard a low growl in the back of his throat at every delicate touch I made. Laughing, I pulled back slightly, "Something wrong?"
"No…everything's perfect…don't stop," his frantic heartbeat was pressing into my palms, causing me to grin even wider.
"It's almost time for me to go…" I whispered in his ear, catching his bottom lip wavering in the corner of my eye.
He started to get up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, arms sliding around his shoulder and stitching my fingers together behind his neck. His hands never left my back pockets as he began to stand up. As I began to nuzzle his neck, he took a few steps before I felt something solid pressing against my back. Jumping off him, I let him playfully push my shoulder against the wall behind me and tilt my head upward to level my vision with his. Those earthy rings of emotion were sparkling with a devious twinkle, roguish charm radiating off of him and hitting me with full impact.
"Just a little longer?" He begged with persuasive a scratchy and hungry voice.
Trailing my fingers up his arms that were extended on either side of me, I felt him lean forward slightly, drawn in. Smirking a little, I glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand. "Well…it's already thirty minutes past the time my parents wanted me home. Unless you want to deal with them, I think you should take me home now."
"Shit," He mumbled, backing away from me to grab his car keys that had fallen on the floor earlier. I went to grab my shoes, letting a tiny giggle escape my swollen lips at his frantic scramble for his keys. Once I had my skirt straightened out and had run my fingers through my tangled, disheveled hair, Kevin took my hand and started heading for his car.
"I watched his wildest dreams come true and not one of them involving you"
Why had I even bothered to fix my hair? The wind that was whipping my red hair in all directions wasn't helping. I should've known Kevin was going to speed anyways. "Relax, Kev," I chuckled as I caught where the needle was pointing to in the speed gauge. I was pretty sure seventy-six miles per hour on this road was beyond illegal, "They're not gonna shoot you for taking me home so late. I'll just tell them the movie ran way later than I thought."
"It's not that…I really want your parents to like me, Gwen. If I'm dating their daughter and I know I want to be in your future, I've gotta make a good impression!" I watched as his knuckles turned white, grip getting tighter on the steering wheel. "And say one day they decide that you can't see me anymore? That I'm the wrong person because we're sneaking off, disrespecting them, no matter how badly we want to stay together? It would all be because of me, Gwen, don't you see?"
"Kevin…" My voice hardly came out in a whisper, I was so stunned. Those words…they meant so much, "The fact that you want to be on their good side is enough, Kevin! They see that in you, I hear them talk about us at night sometimes...when they think I'm not listening."
For a few quiet seconds, all I could hear was the purr of the engine, "What do they say?"
Gazing down at my heels, I noticed one of the bows were a little crooked. A small smile crept upon my lips, "They talk about how they can tell how nervous you get around them. When they see us together," My grin grew wider, remembering their words, "they think we're just the cutest. Well….my mom does. My dad can just tell that we really care about each other."
I glanced over at Kevin. His eyes had softened quite a bit, the streetlights causing them to glimmer. "I think they're right about that."
I watched his lips curve into a smile that matched mine, "Me too."
"Just watch my wildest dreams come true, not one of them involving…"
As Kevin's car rolled to a stop by the curb in front of my house, I grabbed his arm before he got out, "Wait!"
He turned back around to face me, his features strained, "What is it?"
"Um…I think you should come inside with me. You know, so you can get that good vibe going with my parents?" I laughed, seeing his face go pale.
"W-When I said…I didn't…Why now?"
"Please?" I traced my fingers up his arm gently, knowing that I was tugging at the strings, "For me?"
Snickering, he shook his head, a sly smile spreading out on his full lips, "You're impossible. Sure, I'll go as long as they don't bite my head off."
Unbuckling my seatbelt, I began to open my door, "Oh, they're not that harsh." When I saw the look on his face, I didn't think my words helped too much.
"WOAH! I never meant to brag, but I've got him where I want him now! WOAH! I never meant to brag, but I've got him where I want him now! WOAH! It was never my intention to brag"
We trudged across the dew covered lawn, our clasped hands swinging freely. Whenever we got to the front porch, I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. As I reached for the golden knob, I screamed, rushing into Kevin's arms. The instant I had touched the doorknob, the wooden door had flung open instantly.
"Relax! It's just me!" A familiar voice laughed.
"Ken! Not funny!" I stepped inside, bringing Kevin in with me as my older brother stepped aside, widening the doorway for us. I could hear him growl once Kevin walked by him. As he shut the door behind us, he eyed our entwined hands, brow raised sharply.
"When'd you get back?" Kevin asked, still holding my hand tightly. Ken was leaning against the front door, arms crossed over his chest, observing us.
"This morning, so be careful around my sister."
"Ken!" I yelled, feeling my cheeks grow insanely warm. Ugh, why did brothers have to be so protective? I mean, it wasn't like Kevin and I were going to go that far anyways!
"Gwen, sweetie? Are you finally home?" I froze at the sound of my mother's voice. Ken's dirty little smirk was getting insanely annoying. I seriously wanted to smack him across the face. Next to me, I felt Kevin's muscles tense. Wow, now I really felt bad that I'd dragged him into this. With Ken gone for a whole year at college, it was easy for me to forget that he just got home.
"Oh, hello Kevin," my mom said as she came to the front hall as her thin brow rose curiously, "Gwen, is there…something you two wanted to talk about?"
"Um…yeah," Nudging Kevin with my elbow, I was surprised that fearful gleam wasn't in his eyes anymore. He knew how to keep his cool, but I never knew he was this good. "Can we sit down and talk about it?"
"Okay, sure," Before she turned around to show us to living room, she bit down on her lip, curiously searching our faces. Behind us, Ken followed suit, dead silent. I seriously felt like whirling around and punching him for trying to intimidate Kevin. Sure, it was sweet that he cared but he was being a little extreme.
"To steal it all away from you now"
Grasping Kevin's rugged hand again, I immediately felt a little more relaxed. As our shoes padded across the carpeted floor of the living room, I could feel my heart drop the instant I saw my father sitting on the couch, watching TV. "Gwen, you're finally—" he stopped short when he spotted Kevin, glasses reflecting the florescent light above him menacingly. "What's this?"
"Gwen and Kevin wanted to have a little family chat," My mother stated, sitting down on the couch next to my father. He leaned forward, his eyes like slits behind the glass lenses. Suddenly, as Kevin and I sat down on the loveseat, his eyes started bulging to the size of golf balls. "Please, don't tell me you're pregna—"
"No! Dad! I'm not pregnant! How could you…why would…I'm NOT pregnant!"
"NO! Um…no sir, Gwen is NOT pregnant..I would never…I mean…uh…"
We both spoke at once; shouting frantically at my dad with my heart freaking out in my chest like it was having a spazz attack. "Oh," my dad said, clearly relieved, "Then what is it?"
Giving his hand a little squeeze, I nudged Kevin, prodding him to go on and spit it out. As he blew out a long sigh, I held my breath while nervously chewing on my upper lip. "Mr. and Mrs. Tennyson," Kevin began, voice calm and cool to an extent that I didn't even know was possible in a situation like this, "…Ken," He nodded at my brother, who was leaning against the wall by the TV, arms crossed, still not talking. "I know I'm not exactly on the best terms with everyone, and all I'm asking for is a chance to earn your respect. Gwen and I…" He turned to look me in the eyes, those rings of sincere obsidian cutting through me as if he could see right through to my thoughts, "Really care about each other. I swear, I would never let anything happen to her but that doesn't seem to be enough to get on good terms with you guys. So, I'll do anything to prove that I deserve her and that she deserves me all the same…anything."
I looked hopefully at my parents, the true impact of his words sinking in my brain. My mom seemed to be thinking the same thing I was, her hand flying up to rest over her heart. Even Ken had seemed to loosen up a bit…the look on his face wasn't as stern as before. I couldn't help but grin, he was going soft. "You already did that," My dad beamed at Kevin, who looked completely lost.
"I…I did?"
"Why, of course! Asking for our respect like that takes real guts. The fact that you feel like you should do that proves that you really care about my daughter. I know I can trust you…" His eyes crinkled behind his glasses, a good sign for us, "Ben's told us about you two on the battlefield."
"But God does it feel so good, coz I've got him where I want him now"
I could feel the blood flowing to my cheeks, heating them up intensely, "Thank you, sir," Kevin replied softly with every ounce of graciousness flooding his words.
My parent's wide, beaming smiles was starting to get a little creepy, even to me, "Just work on getting her home on time and then we'll talk," Ken snorted, heading upstairs. I rolled my eyes. Typical.
"Why were you late, anyways? The movie ended two hours ago." My dad's understanding features turned curious again, slightly vile. Oh boy…
"Ah…" Kevin scratched the back of his midnight black hair distractedly, his cheeks faintly matching my blushing ones.
"We stopped by Kevin's house on the way back," I saved him, hoping it was the end of that conversation.
But of course my father had to make things insufferable, "Doing what, exactly?"
I was mortified, sitting there rigid and the blood draining from my face. Glancing at Kevin, his eyes were cast downwards; cheeks heated up like an oven. "Oh, come off it Frank, you've tortured them enough." Laughing, my mom got up from her spot next to my dad, "Gwen, do you mind showing Kevin to the door? It's awful late."
"Sure," I sprang up with Kevin's warm hand laced with mine and dragged him over to the front door. Quickly opening it, I escaped into the warm night air, thankful for the refreshing scents of nature that encircled me. Stepping out behind me, Kevin carefully shut the door, a wide smirk painted upon his luscious lips.
"What are you grinning about?" I teased, jabbing him playfully in his broad chest.
A bolt of mischief struck in his dark eyes, shining brightly as they bore into my own pair of emerald ones, "I passed without getting anything thrown at me or shot at."
Rolling my eyes, I thought back to my brother's reaction, "Yeah, sorry about Ken. I'd forgotten he was home and all after being gone for so long, it's almost like he never lived here."
"It's okay, one more person to prove myself to," His strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him. "Now come here, I want a goodbye kiss."
Fluttering my eyes closed, I instantly felt the plush, feathery soft feel of his full lips pressing lightly against mine. It was like snowflakes were falling on them, cold shivers of pleasure shooting throughout my body. As his tongue probed around in my mouth I walked my fingers up his arms until I reached his broad, muscular shoulder. Slowly, we broke apart, a spell still casted upon us, fading away with every gaining millimeter we would put between us.
"And if you could then you know you would, coz God it just feels so…it just feels so good"
"Goodnight Gwen," He whispered, warm words tumbling into my hair. The instant I registered the changed atmosphere around me, my eyes blearily blinked open. The warmth of his body was gone. Despite the summer air, it was nothing compared to the heat I felt whenever I was up against his lively, muscular, breathing body.
An engine roared to life in the distance, a blinding buttery yellow light splashing onto the black night. I watched as his car zoomed away for the millionth time in my life, my mind still in a dream-like trance from that last incredibly sweet kiss. My lips still tingling, I waved to the streaking red lights that were growing farther and farther away. "Goodnight Kevin."
A/N: WOW, okay, that was wayyyyyyy longer than I expected it to be…and a lot fluffier! But I'm not complaining! This was fun, totally changes my perspective about songfics. Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW! I want to know how my attempt at my FIRST EVER SONGFIC was! Thanks for reading!