Starlight

Author:rainyday101

rating:pg

Disclaimer: besides my cd collection, and my cat nos, I own nothing. This includes the Tribe and evrything affiliated with it.

Summary: Slades thoughts on his brother

a/n: I have no idea where this came from, so sorry if it sucks but I had to write it

I wish I had known that even stars die and fade away.

Of course even when they're gone, they still stay to haunt you. He was so beutiful, so vibrant, I think we all thought he was invincible.

I remember one time, it must have been about one in the morning, and we were sitting in his room because he had, had a nightmare and woke me up. I wasnt upset, the virus had taken a toll on everybody and he was so young. I held him and rocked him back to sleep like our mom used to.

I stayed awake all night just watching him sleep. Sometimes when it was like this, just the two of us, I would think about how I would do anything to protect him.

I suppose I failed in that respect more then once. First when I had abandoned him, no matter how unintentional, and now.

Even though were on a boat going god only knows where, I can still see his face.

He looked serene, he knew he was going to die and he looked fucking calm.

The others didnt know him like I did.

They all saw him as a tyranical leader even worse then Ram had been. I knew him as a sweet little boy, terrified of the monster under his bed that he needed his big brother to kill.

Neither side was right, he was somewhere inbetween there.

I know that Ram thinks I used him, and I did, only not in the way that he thinks I did. I suppose I saw him like I saw my brother. Someone who had been delt a crappy hand and had gone the wrong way about helping himself.

Maybe thats kind of a copout, my way of not looking down on my baby brother, but I cant bring myself to think bad of him.

I hope that maybe his sacrifice will make the others look upon him in a kinder light. Maybe one day they will stop thinking of the things he did wrong, and, instead remember how he gave his life to save them.

I can't imagine my life without him. But like I said before he's a star and even after a star dies we can still see it's light for a long time.