"Guys, we need to get out of here. Now."
Joven, Lasercorn, and Sohinki looked up from where they were setting up for a Gametime with Smosh Games episode. They'd all noticed Mari hadn't been with them at all that day, even though she was in LA, but this was not the entrance at least Lasercorn had been expecting her to make.
"What's wrong?" Matt asked, frowning.
"Why?" Joven said at the same time.
"It's a long story," Mari answered. That was when Lasercorn noticed the pistol she had in her right hand. A pistol? What was she doing with a pistol? "Just believe me, we need to get out of this building ASAP. Come on. Are Wes and Flitz here?"
"Not right now," Lasercorn answered, "they were going to get lunch. But there are other people in here, if you intend to evacuate the whole place."
"Can you just tell us what's wrong?" Joven asked.
"Okay," Mari said, looking exasperated, "first of all, Lasercorn, I've already gotten everyone out. Or I will in just a second. Joven, there are some people here who, uh, don't like me. It sucks, but I've kind of put everyone here in danger. If we wait too long, we're all going to get killed. Now come on." She knocked over the light they'd set up on her way out the door.
The three men exchanged glances.
"We should go," Sohinki said. "Mari's not messing with us."
Then the fire alarms went off, screaming through the building.
So that's how she was going to get everyone out, Lasercorn thought dryly.
Without any more words, the three of them left the room to seek out Mari through the chaos.
I I I I
Mari turned to see Joven, Sohinki, and Lasercorn approaching her, still looking confused and a little worried. At least they didn't think she was joking.
"Now what's your plan?" Lasercorn asked, pretty much shouting over the alarms. "Just drive away?"
"Preferably, yeah, something like that," she answered. She turned and started to head toward the front door. Through the large windows to either side of the door, she saw three black Toyota Priuses park on the street just outside.
"No, no, not this way," she said, turning and nearly running into Joven. "Other door, other door!"
"Mari, there are people coming in the other door!" Lasercorn said. From his angle, he could probably see down the hallway that led to the door. "They look kind of suspicious, too."
"Dammit!" Mari said, her mind scrambling to find another solution. If they were coming through two of the doors, they'd probably have the whole building surrounded, so now what? "Follow me," she told the boys. "You're in more danger than anyone else here, because you know me better. Let everyone else think there's a fire."
Then she made for the roof access.
"Where to now?" Joven complained, matching her pace.
"The roof. It's a stupid-ass idea, but I'm getting desperate."
"The roof?" Matt asked from her other side. "Won't we get trapped up there?"
"I don't know, guys! I've never actually been cornered by these idiots before!" Mari exclaimed, frustrated as she climbed stairs. "But at least it's open up there and I can shoot if I have to."
"Why are these people chasing you?" Matt asked, out of breath as Mari shoved the door open and ran out onto the roof.
"I—it's—I accidently blew something of theirs up, okay?"
"What have you been doing?" Joven squeaked.
"Guys." She spun to look at them. "I am less than calm right now, and I really have no idea what I'm doing. I know you have a lot to ask, and I'm sorry I've been keeping so much from you, but I can't answer your questions right now. Just lay off me, please." She took a deep breath. "Lasercorn, shut that door and keep an eye on it, but don't get too close just in case they come out. Joshua, see if you can find a ladder off this roof. Keep in mind that even if you do, we probably can't go that way. The Prius guys might have the whole HQ surrounded. Matt, I don't have a job for you, so just stick close to me."
"Are you actually going to use that thing?" Sohinki asked, gesturing toward her pistol.
"If I have to, yeah. I've never actually shot anyone, but I know how to use it if I need to."
"Mari?" Lasercorn called from across the roof. "I hear people coming up here."
Mari swore in Japanese. "Okay. Then back up. Get away from the door. Joven?"
"There's a ladder, but there are dudes down there" was his answer.
The door to the roof burst open and Lasercorn scrambled away as five people emerged. Only one of them had a gun.
Mari cocked her pistol and held it at arm's length. "I'll shoot this if you make a move," she warned. Keep your voice steady, Mari. This is not the time to seem like a pussy.
The man with the gun made a move, but Mari didn't have the guts to shoot. The man reached out and grabbed Lasercorn around the neck, pulling him in front of himself and putting the gun to his head. Lasercorn made a little noise in surprise and fear.
"I'll shoot him if you make a move," the man said. "You're outnumbered, girl. Drop the gun."
I I I I
Matt was about ready to shit himself. There were few things more terrifying than seeing a man hold a gun to your friend's head.
Surely these people weren't going to get away with this. They were on top of a building, in plain sight. Wouldn't someone stop them?
Mari's hands were quivering on the pistol, her expression nearly unreadable. She wasn't lowering her weapon.
"Mari…" Lasercorn managed, his voice much higher-pitched than usual. Sohinki was kind of terrified just to see his usually-collected friend in such panic.
"Mari, put the gun down," Matt said. He sounded a lot calmer than he felt.
She muttered something under her breath and the pistol clattered onto the cement.
The man smiled devilishly and pushed Lasercorn away, almost knocking him off the edge of the roof. Lasercorn scrambled away and stood up, backing up next to Mari and Sohinki. Joven was still frozen a few feet away.
"You're gonna regret what you did, bitch," the man with the pistol said, he and his comrades stepping forward like wolves of a pack. "That was a lifetime's work for a lot of people. You didn't destroy it without casualties, either."
"I didn't want to blow it up, okay?" Mari said. Matt could hear the fear in her voice. "If I could have avoided it, I would have. I'm sorry."
"We don't care if you're sorry," a woman not far from Joven snarled. "You—"
The man with the pistol cried out suddenly and dropped his weapon. Blood started to drip from his right hand. He looked up at Mari, but her pistol was clearly still on the ground. The shot had come from somewhere else, and Matt couldn't guess any better than Pistol Man could.
He heard a couple more distant gunshots and two more of the 'Prius guys' doubled over, each clutching a body part.
Then Joven's phone rang.
I I I I
Joshua ignored his phone at first, until Mari said with a frown, "Joven, answer that. I have a weird hunch about this."
Still full of adrenaline, but starting to realize that the people in front of them were no longer a threat, Joven dug his phone out of his pocket. The caller ID said it was…it was Ian. Ian Hecox, whom Joven hadn't seen in almost two years.
He fumbled to answer and put the phone to his ear. "Ian?"
"Hi, Joven," Ian said, sounding a little amused. "You guys need any more help, or can I take Anthony off sniper duties?"
"Holy shit," Joven said, not really to Ian. "Holy shit. Anth—Anthony made those shots?"
"Yeah," Ian said as if it were no big deal. "We're in the building just next to the HQ. He shot from the window."
Joven made a little squeaking noise, a little like a laugh. Then he cleared his throat. Squeaking noises were anything but manly. "So, uh, I don't think these guys are gonna attack again. They've pussied out. So no more sniping. Ian, you guys have a lot to talk about."
Ian laughed a little sarcastically. "We won't be here for long, and we can't say much. But we'll be over in a minute."
I I I I
An hour and a half later, when the Prius guys had been arrested and—for some—taken to medical care, Mari, Sohinki, Joven, Lasercorn, Ian, and Anthony all sat at a downtown café. Ian and Anthony had had to tell the other four to hold off on the questions, and Mari had done the same. Now they were sitting around a table with coffee or whatnot in front of them, and Mari still couldn't believe that she was sitting with Ian and Anthony after not seeing them for twenty months or so.
The reunion had been quite something.
Mari, unable to contain her joy, had run up and hugged both men at once, nearly knocking Ian over in the process. Joven had tackled Anthony with a full-on hug and given Ian a sort of manly side-hug. Matt and Lasercorn had just given them a pat on the back or the like, and Ian had shortly after made a comment about feeling like a 'fucking war hero or something.' Then Mari had gotten kind of pissed at them and might have yelled a bit about how they'd disappeared from Smosh without any legitimate explanation, and they hadn't even come to say goodbye in person. But they—particularly Anthony—had looked very guilty and sorry about it, so then she felt bad and took back what she'd said. Lasercorn, Joven, and Sohinki had mostly just forgiven them instantly, although Mari knew they'd been insulted at Ian's and Anthony's poor method of ending their friendship as well.
"So," Lasercorn began, "why are you two in LA?"
Ian and Anthony glanced at each other. "I'm not sure we can say that," Anthony said. "Let's just call it a really lucky coincidence."
"Why are you keeping this from us?" Mari asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. "What have you been doing all this time?"
Ian sighed before answering. "We've been busy with a lot of things, and I really—I really wish we could tell you about it, but we can't. It's a 'we-could-tell-you-but-we'd-have-to-kill-you' kind of deal. That sounds ridiculous, but I'm serious."
"Sorry," Anthony added. He looked wistful.
"Okay," Joven said, accepting enough, "but you made some one-in-a-million shots, Anthony. Where did you learn to shoot a gun like that?"
Anthony shrugged. "Gun range."
"Well they couldn't have been one-in-a-million," Sohinki said, "because he made, like, three of them."
Joven rolled his eyes as Ian pursed his lips and glanced at Anthony. "He makes a lot of those, actually."
Mari expected a joke, but Anthony just shrugged modestly. Come to think of it, both of them had been surprisingly serious; they weren't acting much like the dorky young men Mari had known.
"Question time for Mari," Lasercorn said, looking across the table at her. "How'd you get in trouble with those people?"
"Yeah, what was happening?" Anthony joined in.
Mari sighed. "A friend of mine has kind of been getting into some messy stuff lately. I've been trying to help, but I think I—I think I just made things worse for myself." She looked at Ian and Anthony. "I blew something up, that's why the Prius guys wanted revenge. It was theirs."
"Ah," Ian said, raising his eyebrows. "So you've been doing some interesting things."
"Apparently she's been off on adventures without us," Matt said in his musing way. "We've just been working on video stuff."
"Yes, how is Smosh Games coming along?" Anthony asked.
"Great, actually," Mari answered. "Almost ten million subscribers by now. People…still ask about you guys, though. Sometimes. About where you went, what happened. We've never been able to give an answer."
Another flash of remorse in Anthony's eyes. Ian was just staring into his coffee mug.
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, guys," Mari said. "I'm just telling you that…this is what it's like with you gone."
"I'm sorry," Ian said, looking up. He looked so different, Mari thought. His eyes were hard and steady, like those of someone who had seen a lot. A lot of less-than-pleasant things. She also had a hard time getting used to the haircut. She'd only seen him with it for a few months before the two of them had disappeared.
Heavy silence hung over the table for several seconds.
"Well this is stupid," Lasercorn stated. "We haven't seen you guys in forever and yet here we all are, sitting around and feeling like shit. There's something wrong with this picture."
To Mari's surprise, Anthony laughed. It was a beautiful sound, really. "You're right. We should do a little better than this."
Mari caught Ian's eye and raised her eyebrows at him. At last, he smiled, lifting an eyebrow a bit.
So they spent the rest of their time together acting as normal as possible, catching up on news without getting too deep. Joven and Anthony talked a lot about guns versus swords, while Mari, Matt, and Ian talked about anything and everything, with Lasercorn dropping into either conversation to tell some far-fetched tale that would make everyone laugh.
And for an hour—a single hour—everything felt like it used to, all those years ago, when Ian and Anthony were still a part of their lives.
