This used to be Slee's first fanfiction. It was terrible-OOC, no plot, and registered over 10,000,000,000,000 on the Fluff-o-Meter that's only supposed to go up to 10,000,000. It was horrific. I'm embarrassed by the way she portrayed me. So, I'm only letting her keep it up if I, Artemis Fowl, can have my own comments on it. They're in the bold typeface, if you can't guess.
Minerva laughed. This was her idea of fun. She was walking beside Artemis on the Fowl Manor Grounds. They were surrounded by crisp white snow.
Christmas? Really, Slee. Setting romantic stories during Christmastime is about the most cliched thing you could possibly do.
"You know Minerva, you'd better be careful which archways you walk under," said Artemis mischievously.
Mischievously? I do not say things mischievously. It's just not in my character.
"Oh really," said Minerva with a raised eyebrow, "and why would that be?"
"Because of Mother's decorating scheme," he replied.
"And that has to do with…"
"Well, you see… it involves lot of mistletoe," Artemis muttered.
If Mother did do that I simply would ignore it and not even bring it up, or in the worst case scenario, I'd refuse leave the house till Butler had taken it down. Childish, but effective.
"Ah, I see your point." said Minerva. She looked around. "Artemis?" she questioned.
"Hm?"
"Look around." He looked, then moaned.
This story is hopeless. I would not moan unless I was actually in pain.
"Mother, I'm going to get you for this!" he shouted. Every single archway leading into or out of the garden had mistletoe on it. Some workers had just finished putting some up on the archway they had just come through.
Mother would never be that obvious in trying to set me up with a girl. She may want me to socialize with others of my age group, but she understands that most of the time I avoid contact with girls. I have much better and more profitable enterprises than a girlfriend.
"So, said Minerva, "the way I see it, we have three options."
"And what might they be?" asked Artemis sarcastically.
"Our first choice is to remain here for all eternity!" she moaned dramatically.
Minerva may not be as smart as I am; nobody could be, but she isn't annoying. This out of character girl is utterly aggravating.
"Or, until someone comes to find us," Artemis clarified.
"Hmph. You're no fun," Minerva laughed, playfully nudging him. "Anyway, the second option is to simply walk away and ignore the mistletoe."
"I choose that option!" interjected Artemis.
Finally, something realistic. Still, in reality we would have never had this conversation, as I would never have brought the mistletoe up in the first place.
"But I don't," Minerva said, "and I'm the guest and a girl."
Irrelevant.
"So which option do you choose?" queried Artemis.
"Why, Arty, didn't you guess?" said Minerva laughingly. She suddenly became much more serious. "I choose the third option."
My mother calls me Arty. Occasionally, Holly does as well, but I don't know Minerva well enough to warrant use of my nickname.
*Artemis was so horrified at this final paragraph that he refused to let it be seen at all. Let's just say it involves the cliched mistletoe kiss, and leave it at that*
Slee: *sniffs sadly* This was from before I had to release Artemis after kidnapping him. I found it in my Doc Manager, waiting to be uploaded. Please read and review in memory of this simple fangirl who once got to kidnap for around a year her biggest crush, but had to let him go for personal reasons. Please. I NEED TO KNOW SOMEBODY CARES ABOUT THIS STORY.