Hi! Well, this is my first attempt at writing Glee - Emma/Will, so I'm a little nervous. I realize it's probably not that good so I would appreciate any feedback, positive and/or negative. This'll probably be a one-shot, but I have a small idea which would see it become a two-parter. We'll see though, but I'll stop talking now. Enjoy (hopefully..)

Always have and never hold...

Ken isn't exactly the type of man that Emma dreamt of marrying. But at least, she figures, she's not alone. She knows it's selfish and stupid to be with someone based purely on that logic, but for some reason, she can't bring herself to feel guilty.

When he'd proposed she had definitely been surprised. 'It's not an engagement ring…' Ken's poor choice of wording had left her feeling completely relieved. However, as soon as he'd said those words, he was saying others – stumbling back over what he was really trying to express. She felt a weight plummeting back down on her and fell speechless as he spluttered on about 'a promise' and one of her favourite movies 'Blood Diamond'.

She had gone to Will. She guesses it was a last ditch attempt at testing him, seeing if there was anything worth waiting for…worth fighting for. She swears she can see sadness and a hesitation in those beautiful hazel eyes, but what he says is a totally different story. 'That's great…'

And it breaks her, already, fragile heart. She turns and walks away, determined to try and rid herself of these feelings for a man who is so clearly taken. The first step in doing that, she believes, is saying yes to Ken.

They exchange their nuptials in an empty church to a stern-faced priest. The wedding ceremony is just as she'd requested – clean, quick and small.

Ken has made most of the arrangements for the wedding and they have both taken off a full school day. It had to happen during the week, as they didn't see each other on weekends, or even outside of school hours. This was one of Emma's rules if they were to be together. It was just that she didn't feel like she could be around Ken for too long, just because of her 'problem'.

See, Ken was, to be frank, dirty. Emma thinks that he's just naturally that way and it saddens her that she may never be able to touch her husband.

She knows that she's settling for Ken. He doesn't deserve to be a second choice in something that should only be undertaken when completely in love. But he has voiced to her that he is well aware of the situation and her feelings. He doesn't mind that she can never really love him, at least in the way he needs. He says he loves her just the way she is. See, for him it doesn't feel like settling. Emma is the girl of his dreams.

So, she tries to make it up to him in the little things. She'll suppress the urge to cringe if they're sitting at lunch and his sweaty, oily face gets too close to hers. Or when he forgets to change his shirt after football practice and he stinks of sweat and everything nasty, she won't move away from him, as much.

She may think these efforts are insignificant, but to Ken, they mean the world. He's not as thick as he looks, or sounds, and he notices the effort she's making. It makes him smile and, perhaps more devastatingly, hope.

Emma's dress was white, with lace trimmings and a beautiful golden sunflower pinned to the left hand side of her chest. If her face couldn't muster up the façade of happiness and excitement, then at least her sunflower might.

As she says 'I do' she can't help but pretend that she is really saying it to groomed head of sandy curls and a cute Kirk Douglas chin dimple.

The wedding is over by 3:20. They walk out of the church, and she lets him hold her hand. It's one of those little things that she's been trying to do and when she looks over at Ken, she thinks that maybe it's working. He is absolutely beaming, brimming with happiness. She tries to smile along with him, but the smile never reaches her eyes and she feels like her knees are about to give out on her. When they make it to the end of the footpath, he lets go of her hand and they walk in opposite directions to their cars and drive away to their respective homes.

That night, Ken doesn't find it hard to get to sleep. He has never been so joyful and content. He kisses the photo of them at the State Fair and sprawls out across his King-sized bed. The best day of his life, he thinks, as he closes his eyes. Oblivious to the worries of his newly wedded, he falls straight asleep.

Emma lies in her bed staring at the two rings. One plain gold band, and a rose gold band with a small heart. She can't get to sleep and she knows why.

She squeezes her eyes shut, wishing for a different life. She realizes that she can't help it. The harder she tries to be content with this life, the more stifled and suffocated she becomes. When Emma finally falls asleep, she dreams of a different man…a man with lighter, softer hair, not a dark, matted black; who likes to coach and inspire students with soft melodies that take her back to her childhood, not a man who shouts at sweaty footballers the tactics of a game she hardly understands. But, above all, she dreams of a man who makes her feel free; makes her feel outside of herself, in the best possible way.

Then, she wakes up and those dreams are safely tucked away in the deepest, darkest corners of her mind. As she goes about her usual morning routine, she feels disheartened by the dead weight of two rings that should make her feel blissfully weightless.

Just before she's about to get into her car, she remembers that she's forgotten to pack her lunch and walks quickly back into her house. Returning to her car, clutching firmly onto a neatly folded brown paper bag, Emma feels a lift in spirits and a fluttering of the same old butterflies as she thinks of lunchtime and who she'll sit with.