A/N: Just so everybody knows this is a spoof/parody, and I don't own the outsiders.
It was a dark and stormy night. Winds wailed loudly against the windows and rain was heavily falling at a constant pace that made it impossible to sleep. Throw in lightening and thunder, and it was no miracle that Ponyboy Curtis was still awake. But judging by Soda's loud snoring, not everyone was awake. Just Pony.
As Ponyboy was about to drift off into an uncomfortable sleep, he heard a loud crash in the kitchen, followed by muffled swearing. Assuming it was either Two-Bit being clumsy as usual, or Dally or Steve getting a midnight snack, he payed no attention to it and tried to fall back asleep.
A bright flash of lightening momentarily lit up the whole house, and at that moment an ear piercing scream erupted. Pony shot out of bed. Was he dreaming? Was this one of his nightmares? He shook Soda awake.
"Soda," He tried to wake him up. "Soda, did you hear that? Somebody screamed!"
Soda mumbled something in reply and rolled over.
However, Darry must have heard it, because he came running to Pony and Soda's room, asking if everyone was okay. By then all the commotion had woken up Soda and needless to say, they were a little scared of what awaited them in the kitchen.
They inched cautiously along the wall towards the kitchen, single file, with Darry first, then Pony, then Soda.
The kitchen lights were on, and Darry crained his neck to try to get a look at what was happening in the kitchen. He turned to his brothers and gave them a signal to pounce on the count of 3.
"1, 2," He whispered quietly. "3!" They all leaped into the kitchen and tackled whoever was in it.
Darry got the culprit in a headlock, while Pony held up the phone and threatened to call the police, and Soda took off the intruder's shoes for some odd reason that nobody knows.
"Wait, Darry it's a girl!" Soda hollered. Darry immediately dropped her on the floor like a sack of potatoes. Pony squinted at the girl carefully. He had never seen anyone like her before.
She had very tanned, almost orange, skin and a ridiculously high bump of hair. The strangest thing was her clothes. She was dressed, quite frankly, like an alien prostitute. She had on a tiny leopard print dress and had heavy makeup running down her face in large quantities. It Pony a moment to realize she was crying.
"Who are you?" He asked as his brothers studied her, dumbfounded.
"Um, hello?" She screeched in a heavy Italian accent. "Do ya live under a fucking rawk or somethin'? Or do ya just nawt watch Jersey sho'?"
"Jersey what?" Darry asked with a confused expression on his face.
The girl smacked her gum loudly and rolled her eyes. "Jersey sho'! Only like da hottest TV show that I'm in."
"What?" Soda asked stupidly.
"I'm Snooki, betch!"