Disclaimer: JK Rowling is the immortal, all powerfull queen of my imagination. Suffice it to say that I do not, nor shall I ever, own any of the Harry Potter characters. Its sad I know. I cry about it all the time.
You Are My Sunshine
It all started with a note, charmed into the shape of a tiny bird.
Hermione had been in Potion's class and the fumes from her Pepper Up potion were making her already unmanageable hair into a flyaway mass of unruly curls. She huffed in annoyance as she pushed it out of her face and finished her potion, bottling it into a crystal vial. After turning her finished potion into Professor Slughorn, she sat down at her desk and tried to tame her hair into a bun at the back of her head, but it just wouldn't cooperate. By the time she had finished, there were still wisps of hair poking out all over the place and getting in her face. Finally she gave up and laid her tired head on the top of her desk.
She hadn't been sleeping well lately. The stresses of studying for her NEWTs and Head Girl duties were beginning to wear on her greatly. She thought that it wouldn't have been so bad if she had her two best friends with her, but Harry and Ron had decided to forego redoing their last year and taking their NEWTs for an early acceptance into Auror training. Ginny, Neville and Luna were there but it just wasn't the same without her two best friends. She actually missed them asking her for help with their homework or taking a break from studying to watch them play Quidditch or wizards chess. To simplify it, she missed them and the loneliness she felt was weighing heavily upon her. She did her best to hide her deep depression but she had always been a terrible liar. She knew she wasn't fooling anyone.
As she lay with her head on her desk, waiting for the class to be dismissed for lunch, she felt the depression seep into her once again. She hated being idle, if she didn't have something to occupy her mind she would fall into that depression and never come out. She could feel it coming on as she sat there and her eyes began to sting with her tears. But just as she was about to stand and storm from class early in an attempt to keep her depression at bay, something small and white fluttered at the edge of her vision, near her left leg.
It was a tiny paper bird and it fluttered idly near her leg. She reached down, curious, and captured the tiny thing. The moment it touched her hand it unfolded to reveal a note.
You shouldn't fuss with your hair.
It's Beautiful, the way the sun transforms into molten gold.
How I wish I could run my fingers through your wild tresses and feel its softness.
No signature of any kind. Hermione stared at the note in shock. Molten gold? Wild tresses? Who wrote this? Hermione looked around the class room, hoping to catch the writer looking at her so she would know who sent the note. But everyone was either still working diligently on their potion or reading through their textbooks. She even glanced at the Slytherin side if the room, though she highly doubted it was Slytherin who wrote such lovely words about her. No self respecting Slytherin would ever say anything nice about her, the mudblood know-it-all. Or perhaps that was the reason why there was no signature? No, Hermione dismissed the notion immediately, the only Slytherin's in the Advanced Newt Prep class were, Blaise Zabini, Theo Nott, Daphne Greengrass and Draco Malfoy. It obviously wasn't Daphne because, well, she was a girl and straight as a wand apparently, since she was currently dating Blaise, so Blaise was out of the picture too, and besides he never passed up a chance to insult her when they were in the corridors with no teachers present. Theo was just as hostile as Blaise and never failed to make his opinions about her heard and he was currently dating Pansy Parkinson. That left Draco and that was just laughable. Though the Slytherin Prince seemed different this year, more subdued, he still hated her with a passion. Draco had been withdrawn since the battle. He seemed quieter, and less inclined to lead his loyal pack of Slytherin's. But even so, he still made rude comments to her when ever it was expected of him, though Hermione thought it was delivered with less heat than normal.
Hermione shook her head, no, it wasn't Draco. He still hated her, he was just going through his own problems and obviously tormenting her had taken a back seat to whatever it was that bothering him. But then who was it? She looked back to her fellow Gryffindor's, considering. It was a small class with only a few Gryffindor's; Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan and Parvati Patil. It couldn't be Dean because he was dating Luna and it was obvious to anyone who saw them together knew that they were quite taken with each other. Seamus was out as well because he was dating Parvati's twin sister Padma.
Hermione was sidetracked in her mental elimination as a thought occurred to her. Everyone around her was one half of a happy couple. Even Ginny and Lavender, though their boyfriends were not at school, were in happy committed relationships. Ginny of course was dating Harry again and even though they didn't see each other they owled each other everyday and their relationship had never been stronger. To Hermione's immense disappointment, Lavender was again dating Ron. Hermione and Ron's kiss just before the final battle began to rage upon the castle, had been a fluke, according to Ron. He had told her later that it was just the thought that they might die and his mixed feelings of friendship and love for her had been all distorted and that was why he had kissed her passionately. He told her that he loved her like a second sister and that he couldn't be with her in that way. Hermione's heart had been broken. To her it wasn't a fluke. She loved him and was attracted to him and she wanted more. But that dream had been shattered, leaving her feeling empty and alone, adding to her already bleeding heart.
Even Neville had someone. He and Parvati had gotten close over the summer and were now a sickeningly cute couple. Why must she be alone when everyone around her was so happy with their significant other? Was she really that undesirable? She had only ever been pursued by three boys and they were all so fleeting that they hardly counted at all. Ron had pursued her but that apparently was a fluke. Cormac McLaggen had been a joke; Hermione hadn't been able to stand his pompousness and conceit. She had only taken him to the slug club party to get back at Ron. The only one that really counted was Viktor Krum. He had openly pursued her, picking her out the hordes of girls falling at his feet. She never quite understood why he had taken to her rather the much prettier girls who were far more willing than she had been. She was plain and bookish and a bossy know-it-all, not a pretty girl who wanted nothing more than to be doted upon by adoring boys.
The bell signaling the end of class sounded and Hermione glanced again at the small note in her hands. She didn't know who it was from but she cherished every word the sender had written in dedication to her. Her heart felt a bit lighter as she packed up her books and folded the tiny note. She placed the note carefully in the breast pocket of her white oxford, keeping the words close to her heart in an effort to keep her depression at bay as long as possible.
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One week later, Hermione was sitting in the Great Hall at the Gryffindor table, away from everyone else. Christmas was fast approaching and she couldn't decide what to do. Her parents had died in a plane crash on the way to Australia and this would be her first Christmas without them. She was of course welcome to stay at the Burrow over the break but she wasn't sure she could handle the chaos that surrounded the Weasley's home. She craved the quiet and peace of the empty halls of Hogwarts at Christmas time, but she didn't want to be alone either.
As Hermione sat there alone, neglecting her dinner, and contemplating what she should do, a small movement fluttered at the edge of her vision. Her heart leapt when she saw the tiny charmed bird dancing about her lap. She quickly captured the charmed note in her eager hands and it immediately unraveled. She read the note with longing and desire evident upon her unguarded features.
Dearest Hermione,
Why do you look so sad? I wish I could make you smile. You used to smile with such readiness and ease and every time my heart would fill with such longing for you. Your smile is like a ray of sunshine escaping through the parting of the clouds, lighting my world with warmth and hope. Your smile is what kept me going through the darkest hours of my life. You are the light that guides me, the warmth that keeps the glacial cold from entering my bones. You are my sunshine.
P.S. Please don't leave. Two weeks is far too long to go without seeing your lovely face. Please don't take my sunshine away.
Tears of longing stung at Hermione's eyes as she read the note. Who would write such sweet words to her? And why did he not tell her who he was? Hermione had never been one to inspire such poetry, so this person obviously cared for her a great deal. But who was he? Why would he keep his identity a secret from her?
Though Hermione felt frustrated at not knowing who the notes came from, longing, desire and hope surged within her. Someone did care for her, and on a very heartfelt level at that. The writer spoke as if he were in love with her and Hermione could only dream. Her head told her that she could be reading too much into his sweet words but her heart told her otherwise. It told her that these words were written from the heart. And the heart never lied.
Hermione had no idea how long she sat there, her eyes retracing every smooth sweep of ink, but when she looked up the great hall was practically empty. Only a few Slytherin's and Hufflepuff's remained. Hermione picked up her bag and left her uneaten plate of food. When she reached the entrance hall she made straight for the bulletin board and the list of students staying on at school for the holidays. She quickly scrawled her name upon the list and stepped back. She scanned the list of names of student staying, realizing that her secret admirer's name would also be on the list and she might be able to recognize his handwriting.
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All students who wish to stay at the castle over the Christmas holidays must, please, sign their name upon this list, no later than December 16th.
~*~
Happy Holidays
~*~
Michael Corner
Terry Boot
Ernie MacMillan
Susan Bones
Hannah Abbott
Greg Goyle
Draco Malfoy
Justin Finch-Fletchley
Hermione Granger
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His lovely scrawl was no where to be found on the list. But surely his name was on the list? Hermione looked closer and noticed that some people had written their friends name for them. It must be one of them then. That left four possible options as she didn't know which of the four had had written their own name. So it was either Michael Corner, Terry Boot, Gregory Goyle or Draco Malfoy. Great. She couldn't imagine Goyle or Draco writing her and neither Michael nor Terry had ever shown any interest in her before. She was no closer than she was before.
Hermione sighed and accepted that she wouldn't know who had written her until he decided to tell her himself, if he ever did. This last thought did nothing to help lift her spirits
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On the Saturday morning that the students were leaving, Hermione was given a shock. She was standing near the bottom of the grand staircase, watching the other students say goodbye before they parted and made their way to the threstal drawn carriages, when two tall familiar figures entered the castle. Both Ginny and Lavender squealed in delighted surprise as they rushed to their boyfriends. Hermione was torn. She didn't want to interrupt their happy reunions but they were her best friends after all, surely they came to see her too, right? Just as Hermione planted a pleasant smile on her face and took a step to go down and meet them, the four of them disappeared out the doors and quickly made their way to the next carriage, without ever saying a word to her, or even looking for her.
Hermione felt her heart shatter into millions of tiny pieces. It was like her heart had just been ripped from her chest and now all that was left was a giant gaping hole. She stood in that spot, frozen, unable to comprehend anything beyond her best friends careless neglect.
Hannah Abbott came around the corner sometime later and saw Hermione's still frozen form. She kind Hufflepuff approached her with caution so as not to frighten her. Hannah was standing a step below Hermione and still Hermione didn't acknowledge the other girls presence. Tentatively, Hannah placed her hand upon Hermione's shoulder and said her name softly.
'Hermione?'
'What?' Hermione's eyes cleared a bit as she gazed at the Hufflepuff, confusion evident upon her face.
'Are you all right? You haven't moved since everyone left.'
'Oh, no, I'm fine, thank you, just- thinking.'
'Are you sure?'
'Yes, thank you Hannah. I should go.'
Hermione turned and ran up the stairs blindly. Ten minutes later she found herself atop the astronomy tower. The wind up there was torrential and fierce which matched Hermione's swirling emotions perfectly. She stood at the parapet and let the wind assault her, battling with her emotions.
They were just too caught up with their girlfriends and they hadn't seen her, that's all. But shouldn't eight years of friendship warrant at least a hello or how are you or we'll miss you for the holidays? Surely she wasn't overreacting! Was she really so expendable to them? Was she that worthless?
The tears finally came, streaming down her face in thick rivers of despair as sobs were torn from her throat. She was devastated. She felt as if her best friends had deserted her and now was even more alone. A heavy cloak of self loathing and despair settled upon her frail form. She was utterly worthless. Who cared if she was brightest witch of her age, if even her best friends couldn't be bothered to be around her?
Her tears dried up faster than she thought possible and an empty numbness overcame her. Hermione stood there for hours, frozen to the bone, but unable to move. She was beginning to have dangerous thoughts and they slithered around in her mind, coaxing her, egging her on, daring her to do it. She glanced over the edge, taking in the long distance that separated her from the earth. She could fall just as Dumbledore had. It would be quick. Painful but only for a second.
'Hermione.' Her name, spoken as if from the wind. Hermione thought it was a result of wishful thinking to here her name so softly and lovingly spoken, so she didn't move, just stared at the air and swirling snow that beckoned to her.
'Hermione' This time the voice was firmer but it still sounded like music to her ears, the way the speakers tongue rolled around her name like a caress.
Suddenly there were hands on her shoulders, turning her to face a black clad chest with green trim and the Slytherin crest. When her mind finally grasped what she was looking at, she jerked her head upward.
Silver blue eyes that pierced straight to her heart were gazing at her with such pain and longing that she hardly recognized the boy they were attached to. She recognized the longish platinum blond hair, the crease between his brows that became even more evident when he was sneering or smirking, the pale rose color of his full lips, but she the expression on his face and in his eyes was one that was completely foreign to her.
Why would Draco Malfoy be looking at her with such unguarded emotion? Was she hallucinating?
'Hermione, you've been crying. Please don't cry! My sun disappears when you cry.'
Hermione sucked in a breath and felt as life had breathed back into her.
'D- Draco? You wrote those letters?'
'I had to. I couldn't stand to see you so miserable. I needed my sunshine.'
Draco brought his hand to Hermione's face and lightly caressed her cheek.
'I've wanted to tell you for so long, but- I was afraid. I didn't think you needed me. But I can't stand to see you so alone.'
His hands were so gentle and his words so tender. Hermione was lost in his icy gaze and his light touch. Her entire being was centered on him, his eyes, his touch, his voice.
'What have you wanted to tell me?' Her voice was so low she was afraid he might not have heard her but his eyes told her that he heard her.
Draco took a step, bringing him even closer and she felt his warmth like a fire. She wanted to burrow into him and have him wrapped around her but his gaze kept her frozen still. He placed his other hand on her other cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. For a moment she was lost in that gaze. It was like he was gazing into her soul, asking her to recognize his.
'Just that I am completely and irrevocably in love with you, Hermione Jean Granger.'
Hermione began crying, unable to believe that she was hearing those precious words spoken to her, let alone from whom was speaking them. Draco grabbed her up in his arms and held her tightly, cocooning her in his warmth. She cried even harder. It felt so wonderful to just be held, and he held her as if were he to let go, he would loose her forever. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him close; trying to tell him without words that it was okay, that she would be fine, that she wouldn't leave him.
He sighed and with one gentle hand he lifted her tear streaked face to meet her eyes.
'I've wanted to do this for so long…' Then he bent his head and Hermione held her breath as his soft lips met hers in the sweetest kiss she had ever dreamed of.
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The End?
A/N: What do you think? Should I Keep going? Please let me know.
I wrote this in a matter of a few hours and I'm sure there are mistakes a plenty… Please forgive my inexcusable laziness and illiteracy. I apologize profusely.
If you leave a review I promise to love you forever and devote myself to writing better so that you may enjoy the fruits of my labor to its fullest extent.
And with good wishes and thoughts for all my readers, I bid you ado.
Sincerely and devotedly yours
Your fantastical dreamer,
*Snapes-Star*