Gravity
by P.H. Wise
A Twilight shortfic
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Imprinted.
Gravity shifts, and it's not the earth holding you hear anymore: she does. You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. Sure, sure. Soul-mates. Sure, sure. It wasn't something sexual. But it would be, and the thought that Nessie would be fully mature, not in a decade or two, but in a matter of years, made him all but tremble with antici…pation. And that, more than anything, was why he had to leave.
It hadn't really clicked until Edward had called him 'son.' The thought of not being at Nessie's side was almost a physical pain, and next to it the thought of leaving everything he'd known was a pale echo of regret, remembered as if from a dream. Jacob had dreaded imprinting for a long time, and now that it had happened to him, he found it was everything he had feared, even if he was no longer able to fear it anymore. Maybe it would have been worse if he'd imprinted on Bella. Worse still if they'd gone through with what they planned, if they'd given Bella a human baby that would have allowed her to stay mortal. Shame burned in him at the thought. Not for having thought that Bella would be better off with a human child, but for treating her like… like a parcel that he and Edward could pass back and forth between them. Like a possession. He'd always thought he was better than that.
Guess not.
If it weren't for the gravity of the situation, he might have laughed. It would have been bitter, but at least it would have been something.
It was time. Time to leave. Time to get away from the res and from the Cullens, and from Bella, and especially from Renesmee. He was still a shapeshifter, and still an Alpha, and he was still bound to her. He still loved her, still needed her, needed to do anything to please and protect her. He couldn't change how he felt. But he could change what he chose. No feeling, no matter how intense, could choose for you. If he stayed, if he stayed with her, if he built a bond of trust between himself and Bella's daughter, knowing that however he felt right now, he would ultimately want her as his lover, how was that any different from child grooming? How was that not the act of a sexual predator? The thought almost made him angry enough to shift. Whatever else he was, he refused to be that.
There must be some kind of way out of here
Jacob Black started walking, and every step away was more painful than the last. The sky was full of clouds, and it was drizzling by the time he reached the forest's edge, the scent of petrichor was thick in the air to his enhanced senses. The forest behind him seemed cloaked in mist. Regret rose up in him like smoke. Regret for how he had behaved towards… everyone. It didn't make it easier, but he chose to keep walking.
Leah Clearwater was waiting for him at the road, a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. The affection he felt at the sight of her was a small thing, almost unimportant next to what he felt for Nessie, but it was real. It wasn't something forced on him. She looked up as he hesitated there at the border of La Push.
"People say they have no choice to comfort themselves with a choice they've already made," he said. He'd said it to her once before: a few days ago, after the Volturi had departed, after things had started to settle down again. It hadn't helped then. It didn't help now. Taking that step forward felt like tearing off a piece of his own soul, but he did it, and he did it with a bitter smile.
"Yeah," Leah said. "Hell of a choice."
Nothing more was said. Nothing needed to be. He slung his own duffle bag and walked out onto the road. And then, together, they walked away, and no force of imprinted gravity could stop them.
Neither looked back.
Author's notes:
Because the entire concept of 'imprinting' offends and infuriates me. Because a painful freedom is better than happy chains. Because a happy slave is still a slave. Because real love is difficult, and has no shortcuts, and no destined perfection. Because for most of that series, he's the only decent human being around, and both he and Leah deserve better than what they got. And because if you're falling off a cliff, you might as well try to fly; you have nothing else to lose.