I don't know diddly about this show to be honest. But, my inspiration river for my other stories ran dry recently, around the same time I found out about "Brittana" so I figured I'd write a short fanfiction for them as a spontaneous writing exercise and see where it goes from there.
P.S. Brittany is oddly lucid in this...just thought I'd ensure you knew I knew she's not normally like this.
I'm Losing This and I'm Losing You
(Broken Pieces – Apocalyptica Feat. Lacey)
I walked into the club, it was run down, empty of life yet a sardine can of people; packed with grinding, shuddering bodies moving as one form. The music screamed through speakers so loud it shook the floor.
Too late, this is not the answer
I need to pack in
I can't pull your heart together with just my voice alone
A thousand shards of glass I came to meet you in
You cut the piece out of me
She's in here. I know it. I feel her presence sitting deep inside of my body, sending painful tremors through me. I shouldn't have rejected Santana. I should've stayed with her. She'd finally opened up, finally talked about how she felt and I left her there, open, aware and alone. But I did love Artie. And I couldn't hurt him even if I wanted to. But now, my only thought was Santana, and how the hell I would get her out of here.
And as you ripped it all apart,
That's when I turned to watch you
And as the light went in you went dark
I saw you turn to shadow
If you would salvage some part of you that once new love
I didn't see her until I broke through the crowd. Until I was able to pass the guy's with tattoos covering half their bodies and the girls with their make up running down their faces. That's when I spotted Santana sitting in a booth next to some guy, a ton of empty glasses decorating the table top. She laughed drunkenly at something he whispered into his ear. The bald guy grinned and touched her arm. His face was suddenly smeared with a perverse smirk as his black finger nails brushed along her collar bone. She hummed with intoxicated lust. "Santana." I said, nearly drowned out by the heavy base that seemed to punch the beat into my chest. She heard me loud and clear and looked up; the darkly lit room only illuminated her cheek bones and the clammy looking skin on her forehead.
But I'm losing this
The shadow of her brow fell over her eyes, hiding them from me. I still felt her burning gaze.
Her anger.
And I'm losing you
Santana didn't stand up, didn't move. I pulled out the chair across from her and sat down. We stared at each other as the man she was with got up and stumbled towards the bar. "Come with me."
"No."
And oh I've gotta turn and run
From the faces that you never see
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all you've broken
And pack up these pieces of me
"Santana. What you're doing here, getting wasted out of your goddamn mind and then letting some disgusting jerk put his hands on you...it's not-"
"At least he wants me."
It's too late now to stop the process
This was your choice – you let it in
This double life you lead is eating you up from within
A thousand shards of glass you pushed beneath my skin
And left me lying there to bleed
I leaned back in my chair but refused to look away. She didn't move, held my gaze through the shroud covering her eyes from my view. Her words slurred slightly but her eyes...her eyes were focus, hateful, brooding...agonized. "I wanted to give you everything Brittany." She snarled leaning forward. "I offered you everything I am, everything I have and you walked away. You picked the stupid wheelchair boy."
And as you showed my your scars
I only held you closer
But as the light in you went dark I saw you turn over
I wanted always to be there for you and close to you
But I'm losing this
And I'm losing you
"I didn't walk away, Santana. YOU walked away." The lights flashed around the club, hitting her only once with a brilliant burst of crimson light. Her eyes were hardened, furious suddenly. Her face had contorted into a look of sheer and absolute primal rage. Then, when the light disappeared, a small, black trickle leaked out from the shadows on her eyes and down her cheek slowly. For a second, in this world that seemed so unreal, I thought it was the darkness around us materializing on her skin. Everything around us seemed to still. She shifted her head slightly, adjusting the angle of her head.
"I love you."
It sounded more like "Fuck you."
And oh I've gotta turn and run
From the faces that you never see
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all you've broken
And pack up these pieces of me
My broken pieces
My broken pieces
As the music slowed, quieted, so did the world around us. Even in the anger, the raging mob around us, it was almost peaceful. Suddenly we weren't two girls who loved each other. We weren't a ditzy cheerleader and a bitch. We were Brittany and Santana. I loved her, with all my heart. With everything I was.
Maybe without me you'll return
To all the beauty I once knew.
But if I stay now we will both be drowned by your holding on to me.
She stood up and stumbled past me awkwardly. I stood up and caught her before she fell onto the table covered in the empty, filthy glasses. My arms wrapped around her waist tightly. Her hands floated around for a second as she gathered her ground and figured out that the room wasn't spinning. They came to rest on my shoulder blades. Her sticky forehead pressed into the side of my neck, running mascara stained my white jacket. "Oh Brit..." she whispered in a raspy cry.
"Shhh..." I hushed her gently, kissing her cheek. "We're getting you out of here." She nodded against me, sniffling.
"I'm so sorry Brit, I'm so sorry." Now she was full blown sobbing against me. I held her closer as the drunken tears seeped into my jacket and into my tank top, inky stains settling into the fabric. Her hands moved away from my back and instead went to cover her face, still pulled into me, still crying. Her sweaty, clammy body reeked of alcohol, of bourbon and cigarette smoke. And still I held her. As the faceless bodies around us violently jerked and moved, we stayed stationary. I pulled her closer, ignoring the looks we got, the stares as we stuck out in more than one way. This was a place you came to so you didn't have to care about anything. So you could lose yourself and your problems in the music. Me holding Santana like this...letting her cry endlessly into me, allowing myself to draw in all her pain and soothing the gaping hole I'd punched through her chest defied everything this godforsaken place stood for. I positioned her more to my side so I could move better.
Oh I've gotta turn and run
From faces that you never see
"Come on" I said softly into her ear "we're taking you someplace safe." She nodded and let me move her towards the door, away from the stares.
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all that you've broken
Pack all these pieces of me...