Closure
"I'm sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, alright?" Lydia had said. "But honestly, who here hasn't?"
Easy enough for her to say, her serial killing ex-lover wasn't currently sitting a few feet away from her. Well, technically, neither was Elle's. Technically.
Instead of Gabriel or Sylar or whoever the hell he'd thought he was, a man who had no idea who he is was sharing a picnic blanket with Elle. He just looked like Gabriel. At least that's what Elle kept telling herself. A Not-Gabriel. It was very awkward. How Samuel had managed to convince Elle to do this, she had no idea.
So the pair sat uncomfortably on a picnic blanket in the middle of an open meadow. Nearby, the carnival lit up the dense night sky, the flashing lights far away enough that as Elle looked up, she could see the indigo sky littered by thousands of stars and the luminous sliver of a new moon.
It was just like the night he left me on the beach.
Elle began to panic, her eyes watered and her breath shortened. This is ridiculous, she thought, trying to calm herself. He's not Gabriel. This man is not Gabriel.
She glanced at him.
Damn, this silence is killing me.
Noticing the large basket perched on the grass next to him, she asked, "So, what's in there?"
His face lit up just a little.
"Do you like pie?" he asked.
Great. So the one thing he did remember was her cheesy pick up line.
"I brought peach, I hope you don't mind," he said, handing Elle a slice of pie.
Seriously, she thought to her self, examining her triangular wedge of peachy irony, Am I being punk'd? Because this is getting ridiculous.
"I know this is…awkward," Not-Gabriel said. "Samuel's pretty hardcore about the whole Making Friends Thing. I can't tell if it's because he wants me to feel at home or if he's trying to keep tabs on me."
Elle blanched, feeling busted and suddenly grateful for the mouthful of pie she was chewing, though it only bought her a moment's reprieve.
Everyone in the carnival kept a watchful eye on each other—ostensibly as part of Samuel's whole "we're a family" agenda. Even those watching were watched. Eli and his clones were probably hiding in the shadows even now, making sure that Elle didn't try to escape or that Not-Gabriel's inner Sylar didn't suddenly awaken and have another go at offing her.
Don't think. Focus. Pie, picnic, cute evil amnesiac.
"Yeah, that Samuel, he's a character," she replied carefully. "So. You. What should I call you?"
Not-Gabriel smiled his shy, toothy grin, and Elle's heart skipped a beat.
"Depends. Samuel keeps telling me my name is Sylar or Gabriel, but I don't know. I feel like I'm a Nathan."
Elle snorted, nearly choking on her pie.
"What?" he asked, both bemused and hurt at the same time.
"Nathan?" she asked. "You don't strike me as a Nathan. I just, uh, I knew a Nathan once and…let's just say he was kind of a tool bag."
That got her an actual laugh from Not-Sylar. After a beat, she joined in.
How long has it been since I actually laughed about anything?
Too long. Warmth seemed to spread through Elle. So when not-Gabriel moved to sit closer to Elle, she closed the gap so that the two were sitting only a few inches apart, their arms occasionally brushing against each other.
Lowering his voice and bringing his face closer to Elle's, Not-Sylar spoke. "Can I ask you something? Why did you join the carnival?"
Oh boy.
"Well, you see, I'd, um, I'd just gone through this really bad breakup. Like really bad," Elle replied. "And there were these government agents who started coming after people like us, with abilities. I didn't really know where to go, where I'd be safe. Then Samuel kinda saved the day. He gave me somewhere I didn't have to hide, where I could be around people like us and have someone looking out for me."
"Is that why you stayed so long?"
Elle looked towards the ground at a patch of grass she was nervously uprooting.
"The people here at the carnival, they're kind of the only family I've ever had."
Not-Gabriel clasped Elle's hand in his and with his other hand lifted her chin, brushing her blond locks that were obscuring her face. This was the first time since he'd arrived at the carnival that Elle truly looked him in the eyes. She could feel her heart pumping as she reacquainted herself with the face that she knew only to well, the face that haunted her dreams for years, since she'd first met him in his watch shop.
"I'm so sorry," he said softly. " I know what it's like. Being alone."
Their fingers intertwined, Elle's heart was racing, the suspense completely agonizing.
"You're so beauti—" Not-Gabriel began, but he was cut off as Elle firmly pressed her lips against his.
And there it was. His touch, his smell, his taste, the scruff of his beard scraping against her smooth skin, his chapped lips smashed against hers, their tongues engaged in an elaborate tango. Everything Elle hadn't realized she'd missed about Gabriel until that moment.
Elle needed more. She needed him to be close to her, to hold her, to touch her, to be inside her, to never let go. Her blood was boiling, every muscle in her body aching for him, the electricity burning through her until she couldn't control herself anymore and a spark charged between their lips, causing the kiss to end abruptly.
"Whoa," he said, smiling goofily. "Well, I guess that answers my next question."
He chuckled and as blue sparks flew out of his hand he exclaimed, "Hey, wow! I can do it too!"
But Elle's heart sank because she had been right all along. This man before her wasn't Gabriel. He wasn't even Sylar. He was just some stranger who resembled the man she'd fallen in love with.
"I have to go," she said quickly, standing up and walking away before he could answer, leaving Not-Gabriel to sit alone in the dark with a confused expression on his face.
This is stupid, Elle thought to herself as she walked hurriedly towards the carnival, her eyes tearing up. How is it that he still affects me like this—
"Wait, WAIT!" she heard Not-Gabriel calling from behind her.
No match for Not-Gabriel's long strides. He quickly caught up to her and blocked her path.
"Look, I'm sorry," he said, placing his hands on her arms and hunching his back so that he was eye-level with Elle. "I don't know what came over me—"
"Just shut up," Elle interjected, fighting back tears.
"No, really, it was stupid—"
"Please—"
"Impulsive—"
"Just stop—"
"It was too fast and I—"
"SHUT UP!" Elle exclaimed, tears now flowing freely down her pale cheeks. "Just…shut up."
"I don't understand—"
"I know you. I know you," she confessed. "Or I guess more like knew you. The real you."
"Oh," he said. "…I'm so sorry, I know he- I - was a horrible person—"
Elle shook her head.
"I loved you," she said quietly, looking intently into his eyes. "I loved you more than I will ever love anything in this life again. And it's all my fault."
Not-Gabriel stared silently at Elle, seemingly shocked. He let his hands slowly slip from her shoulders, straightening up so that he now towered over her.
"What's your fault?"
He backed up about a foot away from Elle but was still staring at her intently.
Elle inhaled and wiped away the water that had collected in her eyelashes.
"It's my fault you are who you are, that you did those awful things. I could have saved you, and I'm sorry—"
Elle stopped herself and straightened up, her despair turning into anger. "I'm sorry," she added sternly, "I'm sorry I lied you, but you broke my heart. You hurt me and left me to die on some godforsaken beach. And now you just pop back into my life and have the audacity—"
Before Elle could finish her rant, Not-Gabriel clasped Elle's head in his hands and firmly pressed his lips against hers. Only it wasn't Not-Gabriel. It was Gabriel. Elle knew it was him with every fiber of her being and allowed herself to succumb to his kiss, tangling her fingers in his long brown hair.
Then, the passion dissipated; the once exhilarating kiss became much more gentle and in that moment Elle knew Gabriel was gone. Gabriel was gone and Elle was, surprisingly, okay. Elle would be okay.
"Whoa, what happened?" Not-Gabriel spoke, astonishment evident in his voice. "It was like, it was like I knew. I remembered…something."
"It's alright," Elle said soothingly, stroking his cheek with her hand. She stared into his eyes and through the fog she could see a small shimmer of love echoing through. "Be good, Gabriel," she whispered, standing on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. "Be good."
Elle began to walk back towards the carnival when she turned around and added, "When you do remember, come find me. Because what we have, it never really dies."