Disclaimer: I own nothing, but if I did, I'd be rich!
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"YOU KNOW NOTHING OF ME, BOY!" And with that, Snape ran.
That was the last day anyone saw Professor Severus Snape for along time. He was a traitor. He had KILLED Dumbledore, our most beloved mentor right in front of Harry. Many said that he had been planning this all along, that he had never been good; I have always doubted this.
Ever since Harry had told Ron and myself about Snape saying something about The Unbreakable Vow, I doubted. If Draco was meant to kill Dumbledore, then Snape too was destined to kill Dumbledore. Draco has never been smart enough or cunning enough to pull off something like that. But Snape was. He probably knew that one day it would come down to this, and had planned.
Information was still passed to us after Dumbledore's death, and while the rest of the order was baffled by their origins, I knew. Who else could send these detailed descriptions of attacks and plans from Voldy's inner circle? Surely not Draco, he was always evil, but with Snape I still had my doubts.
Once I tried to explain this to Harry and Ron; it was a disaster.
"Listen Harry, I'm not saying that Snape is righteous, frolicking with bunnies, or what have you, but he had to of known that it would come down to this! Dumbledore knew too! Dumbledore's death may be the key to victory. It was a terrible loss, but it was necessary!"
"Hermione, have you gone completely bonkers?" I think that was Ron, but I can't remember clearly who said what.
"No! There is no way that you are saying that you're happy that Dumbledore is gone! He was my only asset in this war Hermione, and now you say that it was a good thing that he died?"
"No Harry! That's where you are wrong. You have ME! You have RON! And you have our LOVE! And while we are on the subject, let me remind you that I loved Dumbledore very much. Don't make a face Ronald Weasley, you know it was platonic! But Dumbledore was holding you back Harry! It was his time! They needed a way to get Severus into the innermost circle, they needed Voldemort to trust him. And Dumbledore knew that in order for you to win he couldn't be here. So yeah, it was a good thing he died. It has helped the Order more than you know, or care to know Harry!" I was livid. How could he, they, whatever be so ruthless?
"Severus, is it now Hermione?" Ron sneered. " I think Harry and I can see where this is coming from. You loved that murderous bastard, didn't you? And now you are on another one of your pointless crusades. Like SPEW. What are you going to call this one Hermione? S.N.O.G? ' Snape's Not Obviously Guilty' or some lame crap like that? Because I am not associating with you if you do."
Then Harry intervened.
"Hermione, I saw him do it, I SAW HIM! You think he's innocent all you want, but let's just drop this O.K.? My head hurts."
"I'm sorry Harry, I was just… just exploring every possible reason."
And that was the last time I spoke about Snape for a long time.
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I, Severus Snape, have never felt so horrible in my life. I had just killed the man that had guided me for so many years. He had trusted me, and how did I repay him? By killing him. One cannot possibly sink any lower.
It had only been an hour since I had committed that most heinous crime, and Voldemort was already back to being completely evil. I had, of course, gotten the instant gratification. A place in his inner council, the loss of the title of Double Agent, and the "honor" of being second-in-command. There was only one thing that haunted me. The look Hermione Granger had given me before I went to kill Dumbledore.
It was as if she knew. Her eyes told me that she forgave me, even though she had no idea what she was forgiving. I doubt her eyes would be the same now. It was all that kept me going. No one could know that it was all staged. That I was meant to kill Dumbledore, on his own order. I had refused, until he demanded that I did this. I begged, I really did. But to no avail. He stood firm. The night that I agreed is the first night in many a night that I can remember crying. From that day on, I distanced myself from Dumbledore, it would make it easier. When the time had come I pictured Voldemort's face instead. Then I fled.
Of course Potter followed. He ruined me. It was the second he told me that I was a coward. A COWARD! Iwanted to scream at him. Wanted to tell exactly how hard it was. And at that moment I wanted Hermione's forgiving eyes. I knew that she alone would understand. He had no Idea how brave I had to be. But, here I am babbling like a little girl. I am no coward. Let's leave it at that.
My one wish was that I could contact Hermione. I knew not why. I am not the kind of man that is drawn to people, I never have been, nor do I believe that I ever will again, but for her I was drawn like a moth to a flame. As if in a trance. She kept me going. But I am babbling again. Who knew someone so brave could be so weak?
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"I believe in your innocence." It was all I said to the sky. Somehow I knew I was talking to him. I knew what a long road he would tread, and I knew that I wanted to walk with him.
As I drifted off to sleep I couldn't help but think ' S.N.O.G…. I like it!'
