Home to My Heart
Fandom: Trixie Belden
Written for: Clannadlvr in the Yuletide 2005 Challenge
by Vixen
Note: I owe the inspiration for a large part of this story to the movie Mona Lisa Smile.
To my dearest Jim,
Trixie could just gag readying that opening line. Just because she had finally decided to open up to him didn't mean she had to be a silly sap about it. That was best left up to Honey, she reminded herself as the bus made a turn onto the dirt road that led to Sleepyside. The ride from her college in New York City had taken an hour and she still had come no closer to composing this letter.
Now, as she watched the wooded hills of the Hudson River pass by, she crumpled up the paper and wondered if she had made the right choice in choosing to leave the college. Jim had promised her a place to stay at his new boy's camp just outside their old town, describing it as a cozy little campground with log cabins and plenty of woods to walk around in. He took in runaways all the time, they were just usually younger and male, it being a boy's camp and all.
Then again, she hadn't exactly runaway, just dropped out. Now that she thought about it though, the words dropped out' made her feel like more of a failure than had she only runaway. She'd done the latter before, but this was her first experience with dropping out.
It hadn't exactly been her fault though. She'd expected so much more from The New York University of Higher Education. Dreams of becoming a private eye or even transferring into the police academy had burned so bright within her. She'd gotten her first big taste of solving mysteries while going on the many adventures the Bob-Whites found themselves caught up in. Heck, she'd even been kidnaped a few times so by now she had learned what to do in some of the worst-case scenarios.
That didn't matter to the University however, as most of the professors and headmasters took pride in squashing her big plans, telling her that what she really ought to be thinking about was marriage. The place was nothing more than a finishing school in disguise, but most colleges and universities were those days. She'd never noticed the glass ceiling all through her days growing up, but this year she seemed pressed up against it so much that she could hardly breath.
Trixie only wanted to return to her tomboy roots now, so fed up as she was with how and what the world thought she should be. She wanted a return to the past, a return to solving mysteries with her friends. From there, she hoped to go into a private practice by herself and make a success of herself on her own terms. Now though, she just needed a place to hide and collect herself, which is why she was going home to Jim.
Of course there was another reason, a reason that was worth writing this letter in which to explain herself. During her time away from Crabapple Farm, she'd found herself growing more and more lonesome, not having Jim to keep her company anymore. In fact, she soon realized as the semester passed by, she didn't just miss his friendship but also felt a deep need for him. A deep need to tell him how she felt, after all these years even if the truth of her feelings had only been made apparent in the past few months.
To Jim,
She started again, scratching out simple words which reflected her thoughts much better than anything grand or lovey-dovey. Though Honey had suggested she open her letter up with a big flourish when Trixie told her what she felt for Jim, that just wasn't her way. Trixie had never been the girly and prissy type. It just wasn't in her to act that way. Instead, she began writing from her heart, even if the words came out wrong they would be the ones she felt the most.
I'm writing this letter to tell you that..
She scratched it out, something was still wrong. Perhaps this was why she should have paid more attention in English class, then she might have been able to find the words to express herself. As it was, this letter writing task was mind-boggling, leaving her more stumped than all the mysteries she had ever helped solve. What was it about that boy that left her feeling so unsure of herself and mixed up in her head?
The bus came to a stop, right in front of The Jim Frayne Camp For Wayward Boys. As Trixie collected her things, she caught a glimpse of the campground. It was just as Jim had always planned and he had built it all himself, only just opening it that year while Trixie was away at college. From the bus, she noticed a bunch of boys, all around ten years of age, playing tag in the center of a grouping of sturdy log cabins. It was all very rustic looking, the perfect place to pull herself away from all thoughts of the city and the college she had left behind.
Exiting the bus, she beamed as Jim saw her, getting up from the steps of one of the log cabins to come over to her and swing her in his arms. It felt like being home again and she certainly liked the feeling. Laughing at he put her back down, she couldn't help herself from saying, "Gosh, Jim, I love you."
She'd meant to say I've missed you', but somehow the other words escaped her lips. However, as he smiled down at her, with his green eyes twinkling brightly, she couldn't regret finally saying it because it was clear he was thinking the same thing. Though they had never quite told each other how they felt before, their attraction was undeniable from the moment they met. She was his special girl' after all. All her troubles flew away as the words bottled up inside her were spoken, she'd come back and sort out all the problems later she assured herself, but for that moment it felt so good to just be back home again and back with him.
THE END.