[Setting: Wowsville...]
June 13, 2001
Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck everything. That was my motto. You can't take life seriously, but treat everything as a joke; that way, if they're being sarcastic, you won't look like you actually believed them.
"Mackenzie?" My coworker, Kitty, snapped her fingers in front of my face.
I turned to her. "What?"
"You were staring into space."
"Better than looking into your ugly face, you hag."
"God, you're such a bitch." She scoffed.
"Mackenzie," my other coworker, Mason Quinn, sighed, "please don't start something."
"You don't tell me what not to do." I snarled.
He just turned away from me.
"Here," another one, Regina, handed me a vanilla milkshake, "just give it to that guy, okay?" She pointed to a guy sitting at the counter.
Man, he looked like a dork. But in a way...he was kind of cute.
I shook my head. Jesus, Kenzie, what were you thinking?
I walked over to the counter and set the shake in front of him. "Here you go."
He nodded at me, a not even half-smile on his face, which supplied for a "thank you."
I couldn't help myself now; I was curious. "Sitting here all by your lonesome?"
He looked to the door. "I'm actually waiting for someone."
"Poor guy." I muttered under my breath. That was always something one said when they were stood up.
He looked back at me, signaling to me that he had heard me.
"What's your name?"
"Seymour." He answered.
"Cool beans." I replied dryly. "I'm Kenzie. Well, Mackenzie, if you want to be formal and shit. So...what are your interests?"
Seymour gave me this look that was sort of confused, like Why are you asking all these questions?
"Mackenzie," Mason tapped me on the shoulder, "you need to work. Otherwise, you'll get fired."
"Screw the boss and his gold-digging whore. He wants money, he can get out here and serve people himself." I snapped.
"Jesus..." He murmured, walking away.
I turned back to Seymour. "So..."
"So...what?" He had forgotten the question, or was acting like he had.
I hadn't. I was too interested in this guy, though I was probably making him feel really awkward. "So what are your interests and stuff?"
"Well," he shrugged, "I guess traditional jazz, blues, and ragtime, but I'm sure that's not quite so interesting to you."
"No, I think that's actually pretty cool." I shrugged. "It's nice to know there's someone out there who's not obsessed with OutKast and stuff like that. But, you know, blues and stuff, that's just significantly better."
"Are you familiar with any of that music?"
"Well, no, not really." I laughed nervously. "I'm kind of into '50s music, which is why I work here, even though they never play that stuff anyway. I'm actually a Grease fan. I was in that show in high school. I played Marty."
He looked at the door again, and I could tell he really wanted this conversation to be over.
"Well, I'll let you go." I tried as hard as I could to smile and managed something...I hoped. "Good luck with whoever."
"Thanks." He replied.
I walked away, a little sad. He seemed like a good enough guy. No wonder I only had two real friends in this world.
[Setting: Charlotte Lynn's House...]
June 13, 2001
One of those friends was, if this counts, my little sister Tina. She was beautiful and bubbly and so smart and imaginative for an eight-year-old. I wanted to tell her that sooner or later, if she hung around me too much, she'd end up like me, but I didn't want to spoil her childhood.
"Tina!" I smiled, hugging her. I guess I considered her one of my real friends because she was the only person who could make me truly happy.
"Kenzie!" She giggled.
"School's out for summer!"
"I know!" She exclaimed. "We're going to spend so much time together! Can I come to the diner with you sometime?"
"Sure, sweetie." I couldn't say no.
"Tina, honey," my mother called, "who's here?"
"Kenzie!" She hollered back.
"Oh!" Mom, in a white dress and sandals, relaxed attire I wished I could feel as good in, came to see me. "Mackenzie, darling, how was work today?"
"All right." I shrugged. "I met a guy."
She gave me a sly smirk. "And who was this guy?"
"His name was Seymour. He told me he liked traditional jazz, blues, and ragtime." You may be wondering how I remembered that. Well, that was the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me working at that place, besides the day I realized everyone there hated me.
Mom rolled her eyes. "Mackenzie, why can't you find a nice boy once in a while? Then you can marry him and give me grandchildren!"
I laughed into my hand. I couldn't imagine anyone having children with that guy. "Well, Mom," I sighed, "I thought he was cute. In an odd way."
"Everything about you is odd, sweetheart." It was intended as a loving statement from my mother that praised my uniqueness, but it just came off as an insult.
"I'll make something of myself someday. You'll see."
"Can I come with you?" Tina's puppy-dog eyes struck me in the heart.
"Of course."
"By the way," Mom began, "Tina's got a doctor's appointment today. Urgent."
"What? Why?"
"I've been really, really tired lately, and I've been bleeding." My sister frowned. "I don't know why. I'm going to go see the doctor!"
"Good luck, honey." I kissed her forehead. "I need to go back. I'm making dinner for Shelby tonight."
"Tell that nice girl that Charlotte says hi!" My mom waved goodbye.
"I will."
"Come back soon!" Tina pleaded.
"I will!"
[Setting: Shelby Gross & Mackenzie Lynn's Apartment...]
June 13, 2001
"This is dinner?" Shelby, my roommate, deadpanned, staring down at a microwave waffle.
"I burned the turkey, okay?" I rolled my eyes. "This is what we have!"
"Fine." She leapt up to get some syrup from the cabinet. "So how was work today?"
"Do you know anyone named Seymour?" I cut to the chase.
"No, but I think I know someone who does." She sat down and squirted half the bottle on her waffle. She was one of those people who ate and ate, but always stayed thin. I hated those people, but Shelby was the other of my real friends, so I tolerated it.
"Who?"
"This guy at the burger place dropped all the food he had, so I decided to do a nice thing and help him pick it up, and we kind of, you know, started talking. He said he had a roommate named Seymour."
"Was he cute?"
"How should I know?"
"No, I mean the guy you talked to." I rephrased.
"No." She winced. "God, no. But he was a pretty okay guy. He likes mongooses."
"Well then, that's two people!" I tried to be optimistic - not one of my strong suits.
"You know what your mom would say?" She scrunched her face up like my mom. "'Oh, Shelby, dear, get married to him, make some babies, keep your strong blood going and going through generations!'"
I laughed. "That's spot on. Oh, she says hi, by the way."
"How's Tina?" A smile was left over on her face from the imitation of my mother.
"Not good." My face fell. "She's been really tired lately and she doesn't know why."
Shelby's facial expression grew to a sympathetic one. "I'm so sorry, Kenzie."
"It's okay." I shrugged it off, though I knew to really do something like that took more strength than I had. I was worried about my sister. "Let's just eat."
We ate in silence for a little while until Shelby piped up. "So who's Seymour?"
[Setting: Charlotte Lynn's House...]
June 15, 2001
"Hi, Mom!" I yelled, shutting the door to her house behind me.
"Kenzie?" She was quieter than usual.
My mother quiet? This must be serious. "What's going on, Mom? You wanted to talk."
"Sit down, please, child."
We sat on the couch.
I was getting extremely worried. "Mom, just tell me. What's happening?" I paused. "Does it involve Tina?"
She nodded solemnly. "Fatigue. Excessive bleeding."
"Fatigue and bleeding?" I repeated.
"Signs of...leukemia."
The room began spinning. She didn't...she wasn't...but she was too good. Too young. Too pure for God's vengeance. Unless it was against me, a selfish, impure mortal. "Tina...has leukemia?"
"We're all upset." She held my hand and stared into my eyes. "All Tina wants right now is to be with her big sister."
"Where is she?"
"In the hospital right now, but you'll be able to see her soon enough."
Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck everything. Life was just plain fucking meaningless now.
[Setting: Wowsville...]
June 17, 2001
The stares were unbearable. Guilt, sympathy, worry, they were all the same thing.
"Mackenzie..." Kitty was breathless.
"What?" I glared at her.
"I...I'm sorry for what happened to your sister. If you need to talk, um, I'm here for you."
I wanted to scream at her, hurt her, make her feel pain for all the arguments and mocking since I started working here.
But instead, I cried. I hugged her tightly and cried.
I was sobbing my eyes out in front of my enemy, but I didn't care. Everything else had changed, and for the better or worse, it just didn't matter anymore.
"Can we be friends?" Kitty murmured.
I nodded.
[Setting: Parking lot outside the therapist's office...]
June 30, 2001
I got out of my car. I was going to one of my regular sessions with this therapist Shelby recommended to me. Ever since the whole incident with Tina, I was in a really dark place, but now...now I thought that maybe things were going to be okay.
Something further reinforced that idea, and that was a chance encounter.
While walking into the building, I looked back at my car, trying to remember if I had locked it, and I bumped into someone.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed. But then I froze where I stood.
It was Seymour, the guy I'd met at Wowsville a little while back.
"Hey...Seymour?"
"Um, hi..." He was trying to think of my name, I could tell.
"You probably don't remember me, but my name's Kenzie. I work at Wowsville and I remember you. The 'traditional jazz, blues, and ragtime' guy?"
"I think I remember you." He didn't.
"What are you doing here?"
"It's a long story." He shook his head. "You probably wouldn't want to hear it. Why, what are you doing here?"
"I've been having some issues with this...terrible thing in my life."
"Really?" He was staring at my hair - or lack thereof.
"Oh, that." I laughed. "Well, the thing is...my sister has leukemia, and I thought that it might make her feel better if I shaved my head, so...I did."
He just nodded at me.
"I have to go." I sighed. "But..." I was taking a risk here. I grabbed some paper from my bag, wrote down my number, and handed it to him. "If you ever want to talk about whatever happened to you, any kind of shit you're going through, I'll listen to you. I'm a good listener."
A little hesitantly, Seymour took my number. I think I scared him a little.
"Don't bother to give me yours. I don't want to annoy you or anything."
He just nodded.
"I'm late. I'll see you around." I shuffled into the building.
He'd probably never call me, but maybe, just maybe, he would. It was then that I started to consider him my guardian angel. He was now a sign that things would go back to normal sometime, like they were when I met him.
Hope had always been a foreign word to me. But what the hell, everything else was new in my life nowadays, and I knew it would always be changing. I guess you just had to stand it.