I thought I was done with SnK. Then I one day realize that the 2nd season has aired, and there are two episodes already. I watch them. Then I somehow found myself reading all the manga chapters from the 33rd chapter. And then the third episode came out. I watched it. And now, I'm somehow here.
Damn it. I'm totally not done with SnK just yet.
I'm not a native English speaker, so if you notice any mistakes I made, I'd be happy if you pointed them out to me. Also, you might have noticed (or not) that the title comes from The Offspring's song You're Gonna Go Far, Kid. I began listening to it and this idea popped in my head, yet for some reason, the ending turned out a lot sadder than it was supposed to be. If you want a suggestion, I was listening to Bauklötze by Mika Kobayashi when I wrote this, and I cried near the end. So you might want to get some tissues, too. Or not, I don't know.
Warning: Character death, and if you haven't read the manga, there might be spoilers. Read at your own risk.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin.
It was just a regular day in Shiganshina. The sun shone brightly and birds were singing as they passed overhead. The wind blew gently, making the clothes, hung on clothes lines, waver. Carla Jaeger, the woman who had placed the clothes there, pushed some of her hair behind her ear. She watched the peaceful town she had always lived in as everyone went on with their own lives, caring about their own business. At moments like these, she could truly relax and just sit back and smile.
Not that she didn't smile and relax anywhere else, but you get the point.
She watched for a moment, before she heard two voices make their way over. A boy and a girl. She turned to the steps leading to where she was, and soon enough, two children came over. The boy had brown hair and teal-green, bright eyes. He was wearing a beige shirt and dark pants, while pouting at something his companion said. Said companion, the girl, had black hair and black eyes. She was wearing a white dress and a pinkish jacket over her shoulders. Like usually, she also had the red scarf the boy had given her.
"Mom!" the boy grinned as he saw her. Carla smiled to them. "Eren, Mikasa."
"Mom", the girl, Mikasa, said quietly. Carla smiled gently. Mikasa's life had been such a turmoil lately, but she had somehow recovered, with Eren's help. Carla had never thought that Eren would make a good brother, but once she and her husband, Grisha Jaeger, adopted Mikasa, Eren had become one of the best brothers Carla had ever seen.
"What are you two up to?" Carla asked as the two walked over to her, leaning onto the rocks behind them. Mikasa looked at Eren, who looked up to the sky and grinned. "Dad said we don't need to go pick up any firewood today, so we have all day to ourselves!"
"Oh really? He said that? Well that's great!" of course Carla knew that beforehand, though. Eren and Mikasa, too, knew that she knew, but didn't show it at all. Carla knew they were not stupid, even though Eren was crazy reckless. He really made her worried whenever he left the house. "So, what are you up to today?"
"We're going to go and see Armin", Mikasa said quietly. Unlike Eren, who was loud and hotheaded, Mikasa was the exact opposite. She was quiet and thought clearly about what she was about to do before doing it. It was a mystery, how the two, so different, worked so well together.
"Well, you two better get going, then", Carla smiled. "He must be waiting for you two right now."
Eren and Mikasa pushed themselves up from the rocks, making their way to the steps. As they began making their way down, they turned to wave to her. "Bye, mom!"
Carla waved to them as they left in a rush. They made their way down the street, to the right, then to the left, ducking into an alley, before bursting out to the main street. From there, they made their way to the river, where they always hung out with Armin. And as usually, their blonde friend sat there, by the river, a book in his hands.
"Armin!" Eren exclaimed as he saw him. The blonde boy, wearing dark pants and a blue shirt, looked up. Spotting them, he beamed and waved them over. They ran to him, sitting down beside him. Eren glanced at the book the boy was reading. "What are you reading?"
"Is it another one of your grandfather's books?" Mikasa asked. Armin's grandfather had lots and lots of old books. Some of those books were of topics that could have made the Military Police go after him. Yet, despite the danger, Armin still sometimes brought those books outside, where he showed them to Eren and Mikasa.
Armin nodded with a smile, looking down at the book. "It really must be amazing out there…"
Eren grinned. "Obviously! But to get there, we need to join the Survey Corps!"
Survey Corps. One of the three divisions of the military. Unlike Military Police or even the Garrison, Survey Corps actively traveled outside the Walls, seeking adventure and titans. Their objective was to search the outside world, see what lied ahead, if it was possible to ever get out of the Walls. Although the government had prohibited interests to the outside world, Survey Corps still stood and continued to venture outside of the Walls. Of course, many wanted them gone, but nothing could stop a free soul from wanting to break free from the birdcage they had been thrown into.
But, while Eren was enthusiastic about joining Survey Corps, Mikasa was anything but. "You'll get killed."
Eren and Armin turned to her, gaping. For a while, no one said anything. They just sat there, looking at one another. Then, Mikasa giggled a little at their expressions, breaking the silence. Eren frowned at her. "We won't! That's why there's training, you know!"
"Though, realistically speaking…" Armin hummed. "Most of the soldiers die in the Survey Corps…"
Eren turned to him, looking like he had just been betrayed. "No way, Armin, are you starting that, too?!"
"He's being realistic", Mikasa reminded. "And he's right. It's more likely to die out there than anywhere else. Why don't you just become a doctor, like dad?"
Eren huffed and pouted, turning away. "No way. It's boring."
"Eren…" Armin sweat-dropped a little. Mikasa just sighed and looked up to the sky. It really was a peaceful day today. It was like nothing could ever go wrong.
…
On the other side of the town, Hannes was on duty. He and some of his fellow Garrison's were watching the inner gate that day, not that there really was anything to watch. The gate was open, day and night, and anyone could go in and out, really. There was never any reason to close the gate, or anything. As such, the guards, watching the gate, were pretty useless, too.
For that reason alone, the guards were always drunk. Today was no different. Hannes always made sure he wasn't too drunk while on work, so that he could actually keep an eye on the gate. One day, there might come a suspicious person to Shiganshina, and if they let them pass, they'd be in trouble. Although his fellow guards agreed with his reasoning, they almost never kept their drinking to a low level. Today was no exception, but Hannes could see why. It was such a beautiful and peaceful day. Nothing could go wrong today.
Then again, it could have been the calm before the storm.
The Survey Corps had left earlier that day. While the day was peaceful and beautiful to them, it could be that the men and women that had ventured outside had been wiped out. Hannes didn't know, but despite the absolute peace, he had a bad feeling about today. It wasn't the sort of bad feeling that everything was going to hell (like titans breaching the Wall, but that was just ridiculous, that would never happen), but the sort of feeling that he was going to regret something he did later on. He just didn't know what. Maybe someone suspicious was about to come today?
"Oi, Hannes!" Hannes turned to his fellow guards, who were playing something with the cards they had, using a box as a table. They each had their own boozes, drinking from them from time to time. Their faces were flushed and some were hiccuping, showing that they were clearly drunk. "Wanna join us for some poker?"
Hannes didn't really take his work seriously, yes. But he still wasn't comfortable with leaving the gate without anyone keeping an eye on it. He might have been, but he had heard one too many times from Grisha and Eren about what could happen to be exactly comfortable with that. "No thanks!"
His fellow guards mumbled something about him, but turned to their game and ignored him. In turn, he ignored them and turned to glance towards the open gate. He was just in time, too. His eyes widened a little as he noticed the telltale green, hooded cape with the Survey Corps' insignia on someone, who just walked through the gate. Before he could even stand up (Weren't the Survey Corps members outside? Why was one here, wearing their uniform?), the figure disappeared into the crowd. Hannes blinked and tried to look around for the hooded cape, but was unable to see it anywhere. The person who wore it really merged in with the crowd, hiding behind other people thanks to their short height.
Scratching the back of his head, Hannes mumbled. "I wonder who that was…"
…
All of a sudden, the Liberty Bell began to toll. Eren looked up, his eyes shining. He quickly hopped up, looking down at his adoptive sister and best friend. "Let's go, guys! The Survey Corps are back!"
Armin stood up, also excited. And while Mikasa didn't seem too excited about the idea, she didn't look like she was against it, either. As she stood up, Eren began dashing towards the main street, to see the soldiers. Armin ran after him, Mikasa following soon after.
Since they were so close when the Liberty Bell began ringing, they got good spots on the front of the gathering crowd. Standing there, excited, they watched as the soldiers poured inside the gates. The horses they rode stayed calm as the soldiers, some injured, some completely okay (the blonde nearly at the front, who was never hurt when they came back, and the dark-haired and dark-eyed guy who followed the blonde and looked pretty short, and angry, who got hurt even rarer than the blonde). Yet, all of those in the crowd, even the three of them, knew that quite a few more men had left than had come back.
Well, it was a given. They were fighting titans out there, after all. A few men were going to die anyways. It didn't make it easier for the families, but at least the sacrifices weren't for nothing – those, who died, gave others the chance to finish off the titan.
Yet, despite their enthusiasm, the atmosphere was heavy. The three kids were unaware of it, mostly, but the adults weren't. They saw the difference between the group that left and came back clearer than the kids did. They saw just how many had been lost, way too many for it to be good for the Survey Corps. Not to mention the number of injured soldiers. They all knew that it would take quite a while before the Survey Corps were able to venture out of the gates again.
But Eren and Armin were blissfully ignorant. They just watched in glee as the soldiers passed, eyes shining with amazement and idolization. Some soldiers who caught their eyes smiled, some turned to look away. Most did the latter, but a few smiled to them. Then, there was that one (the short one, who looked angry. He also had dark circles under his eyes) soldier who would just look, not averting his eyes, but not smiling, either. He would just look, not trying to look ashamed, not trying to sugarcoat the outcome. He looked like a person who would tell nothing but the true, hard facts.
When the parade had gone pass, the trio made their way away from the main street. As they did, Armin looked at Eren, smiling. "They're so amazing!"
"I know, right!" Eren practically trembled in excitement. "I can't wait to join them in that parade!"
"I can't, either!" Armin grinned. Then, he sighed, looking at Eren with a knowing look. "Though, it must be nice to already have someone's eyes set on you."
"Eh?" Eren blinked, looking at him. "What do you mean?"
"He means the short one who looks like he doesn't sleep", Mikasa explained quietly, holding onto her scarf. She, truly, feared for Eren. If he ever ventured outside, what would happen to him? He could die out there. If he did… how could she ever live again?
"What do you mean, he has his eyes on me?" Eren asked, confused. Armin chuckled. "Don't you know? He only ever looks at you when they go pass us. If you're not there, he just keeps watching ahead. He's definitely looking to recruit you when the time comes."
"How would he know I'm looking to join?" Eren blinked, confused.
"Your look is enough to tell", Mikasa pointed out. Flushing in embarrassment, Eren pouted and lightly glared at Mikasa. He didn't say anything, though.
"And, I mean, all the soldiers either smile or look away if they happen to look at us", Armin continued on. "They don't search for us, not like he searches for you, Eren. And he never looks away, or smiles."
"Isn't he just annoyed at me staring at him like that?" Eren asked. Armin shook his head. "No, I don't think so. He almost looks like he just wants to kidnap you."
"Huh?" Eren looked at Armin weirdly. "What are you talking about?"
"Maybe he lost someone", Mikasa spoke quietly, making them turn to her before they could start a fight. They both blinked, as Mikasa continued. "Maybe he lost someone who looked like you, Eren, and he just wants to see them once more."
Eren blinked. Armin hummed, before nodding. "Maybe… It would explain that look."
"Seriously, he doesn't look at me like that!" Eren pouted. "To me, he just looks mad."
Armin laughed at him. Mikasa smiled a little, a small blush on her cheeks. Eren continued to pout, before starting to laugh as well.
It really was a peaceful day.
…
It was later, some time before the Survey Corps got to the gate, that Hannes noticed blood on the ground. Blinking, he looked at it, noticing it going towards the town. Coincidentally, it was around the same place where the mysterious Survey Corps' member had walked on.
Maybe they were an injured comrade, who came to see them get back…? Hannes wondered. Yet, for some reason, that explanation didn't feel exactly right. Like he was still missing something.
But he didn't have time to think about it, as the Survey Corps arrived and rode out of the open gate. As they did, the odd member left Hannes' mind.
…
Armin had gone home early. Eren and Mikasa decided to do the same. They walked down the streets, making their way towards their home. Maybe they could help Carla today, or even Grisha. The man was a busy doctor, after all, and he always welcomed their helping hands. They weren't allowed to do anything too much, but they could always help with some easy stuff.
A turn to the left, and then to the right. A little while forwards and…
Eren and Mikasa stopped dead on their tracks. Eren blinked at the person in front of them, leaning against the wall of a house by him. He looked like a young adult and he wore a military uniform. He wore a green, hooded cape, with the cape over his head. Beneath the cape, Eren could see, on the uniform, the Wings of Freedom, AKA the insignia of the Survey Corps. The man was leaning onto the wall of a house with his left hand, his right hand under his cape.
What confused the duo, though… Didn't the Survey Corps members always leave immediately after they arrived? They rarely had someone that injured with them, anyways…
But Eren didn't care, not at that moment. He just saw a member of the Survey Corps, right in front of him. "You're from the Survey Corps?!"
Mikasa looked at him, warning. They didn't really know this man, after all. For all they knew, he could have stolen his uniform. But Eren didn't care, and looked at the man with shining eyes.
The man looked at them. The hood was in the way, but Eren was pretty sure the man looked at him. He was quiet, for a while, before speaking. When he did, he sounded a little pained, although he was definitely trying to hide it. "You're… Eren Jaeger." It wasn't a question. This man knew who he was.
Mikasa frowned and took a step forwards. Yes, this was an adult, a trained soldier, but she could still…
"You're bleeding!" Eren's sudden exclamation broke Mikasa out of her thoughts. She looked down at the ground and, sure enough, there was a small puddle of blood under the man. Looking up, both of the kids noticed that the man was holding his left side with his right hand. Said hand, and the white shirt he wore, were dyed red from blood.
Eren was far more used to situations where strangers came over to their doorstep, bloodied. Turning to Mikasa, he pointed towards their home to the right, at the end of the street. "Mikasa, go get dad! Now!"
Mikasa blinked, but nodded and made a dash for their home. Meanwhile, Eren moved to stand by the man. "Sir, can you walk? My father is a doctor, he will help you…"
"Eren!" Grisha ran out of the house, spotting his son and the injured soldier. Running over, he moved to support his left side. Turning to Eren, he spoke. "Eren, go help your mother and Mikasa set everything up."
Eren nodded and ran to their house. As Grisha began helping the injured soldier to the house, he spoke. "Your injuries…"
"Stabbed to my left side", was the immediate response from him. "Wouldn't be too serious, but blood loss is pretty big… Probably infected, too."
Grisha grimaced. That sounded bad. But… stabbed? A Survey Corps member who, presumably, just came back with the rest? Why had he come here alone, anyways? And by what he said… He must have been bleeding for quite a while already, if the wound wasn't too serious, if not for the blood loss. He couldn't forget the infection, either.
"You won't be able to save me", the soldier said, his tone calm and composed. "There's no point trying to."
Grisha was a doctor. He would not give up. "Then why did you seek me out?"
"I didn't", the soldier answered, honesty so clear in his voice. "I… sought out your son, actually."
Grisha blinked, confused. This man… he was looking for Eren? Why? He knew he was going to die, said that it was a waste to try and save him, and he had looked for Eren? Why? What was the point? Did Eren know this man? But how? Eren didn't personally know any members of the Survey Corps…
When they got to the house, Grisha helped the soldier onto the bed. Without taking the hood off, he opened the man's white dress shirt, peeling his hand off of the wound. And like the man had said, the wound itself wasn't very bad. He doubted he had been hit anywhere critically. But, the blood loss was big, and like the soldier had said, it was infected. Grisha grimaced, but still tried to save the soldier.
"Can I help, honey?" Carla came into the room and asked. She looked around, saw the wound, and grimaced.
The soldier let out a humorless chuckle. "Stop, Grisha. Don't waste your resources on a lost cause."
Grisha only gritted his teeth, looking more determined to save the man. Carla gasped, looking a little horrified. It must have been the first time she had ever heard someone tell a doctor to not treat them, because they were going to die anyways. Especially not someone from the Survey Corps.
"We're going to save you", Grisha said through gritted teeth. "You're going to live, and then…"
The soldier reached for Grisha's arm, taking a hold of his wrist with his bloody hand. "It's useless. Even if you saved me now, it would only be for a short while. I would die soon, anyways."
"No", Grisha stubbornly said. The soldier shook his head. "I'm a soldier. I know when my time is up."
Carla could only watch, both horrified and sad. Somehow, something in the man made her think that he had really gone through hell. That the pain he felt right now was more emotional than physical.
"No", Grisha shook his head. "You said you were seeking out Eren. I will save your life, and you can then tell me why."
"You sought me out?"
Grisha, Carla and the hooded soldier all turned to look at the boy, who was now standing a little behind Grisha. Eren looked at the soldier on the bed, tilting his head, confused. "Why?"
The soldier looked at him, letting go of Grisha's arm. The man got back to work, despite knowing that the man was right. It was a lost cause. He had already lost too much blood.
"Why, you ask?" the soldier sounded surprised. Then, he chuckled, a little bit of humor in his voice, but still sounding more sad than anything. "I wonder. Why did I? My memory is… a little fuzzy."
Carla moved to take Eren away from the room (this soldier was going to die, she could see it from Grisha's expression, the soldier himself said so, she couldn't let Eren see him die…), but the soldier's next words made her stop. "Maybe… I just wanted to see my little brat once more, before I died."
Carla and Grisha froze, tensing up. Eren blinked and tilted his head. "Your… little brat?"
"You", the soldier stated. "I… don't exactly know why, though."
"What do you mean, your little brat?" Grisha questioned as he continued his work. True, he could not save this man, but he could keep him alive a little longer. If his final wish was to talk to Eren, then… Who was he to deny him that request? Besides, he wanted some answers, too. Why exactly was Eren, his son, this man's little brat?
The soldier chuckled. "Eren never liked that name. Always used to complain, since I only called him that, but everyone else with their names. Ugh… he wasn't good at listening to my orders, either. That little brat."
At each sentence, Carla began to tense more. This man, he wasn't… he wasn't trying to say that… right? It… It wasn't possible, that he…
Eren looked at him with eyes that someone his age definitely shouldn't have had. It was like he understood, what was being said. "Sir… who are you?"
The man chuckled again. Raising his other hand, he moved the hood out of the way, enough for them to see his features and recognize him.
He was the same soldier that Armin and Mikasa said looked at him like he wanted to kidnap him. But, he looked older than before…
Carla recognized him. "You're… Levi-heicho, from the Survey Corps!"
"Eh?" Eren blinked, looking at his mother. He then turned to look at the man. "How do you know me? You look older than before, at the parade? Are you really the same guy?"
Levi chuckled. "I am, yet I'm not."
"Huh?" Eren tilted his head to the side. "What does that mean?"
"I… I came from the future", Levi looked at the boy with kind eyes. He had never seen Eren as a little child (not so that he could say he had, at least), but it had been too easy to recognize him. Those eyes… there was no mistaking them. They didn't hold the same rage inside them that he remembered, but they were still the same eyes. The same idolizing and bright eyes that Eren had always looked at him with.
"Heicho!"
"What, little brat?"
"Please, stop calling me that! You call the rest of your squad with their names, too! And on that note, I'm their senior in this squad! So why do I get called like that, and only me?"
"Does it really matter? You're little brat and that's final."
"Actually, I'm Eren…"
"Little brat."
"All right then… Heicho…"
"…"
"…"
"But Eren… When Kirstein makes fun of you again for that, do inform me. We, from the Special Operations Squad, are not allowed to fail because of a grudge between our members, okay?"
"… All right, Heicho! I will be sure to tell you if something happens!"
"… Good. Now, go back to training!"
"Roger!"
"From the future?" Eren asked, snapping him out of his memories. The boy's eyes suddenly began to shine. "Do you mean… I'm also in the Survey Corps?!"
He looked so happy. Carla didn't, of course, but Levi didn't expect anything less. Grisha looked just determined to save him, despite knowing that it was futile. Levi didn't really know how to tell them, how to tell Eren, about the situation, without letting him know the gruesome details. The details that no one there wanted to know.
"Heicho… I'm sorry. It was my fault…"
"It wasn't. They did their own choice, Eren, and bought enough time for us to end it and get away before the army could truly come at us. Don't blame yourself for their deaths. I know that you still continue to blame yourself for my original squad's deaths."
"Because… all those deaths were my fault…"
"They weren't. All of us do choices. Sometimes we end up dead. If you had chosen to be in Arlert's place, would it have been Arlert's fault that you died?"
"No!"
"Then stop blaming yourself. Their deaths weren't your fault. They don't want you to blame yourself."
"Heicho…"
"Stop. I'm not your commanding officer anymore. There's… no army, no reason, to call me that anymore."
"Then, what should I call you?"
"Whatever you want."
"Then… Is it okay, if I, uh…"
"… Spit it out, little brat."
"You still call me that? Ugh… Is it okay, if I, uh… call you, um… big… brother…?"
"… Why that, exactly?"
"Because… Ever since I joined your squad, you've always acted like you don't care, but… you've also been really protective, and taught me almost everything I know, and you've taken care of me when things have been bad… Encouraged me when I've been down, pushed me towards right choices while letting me decide what I do… You've… ever since I joined your squad, you've been acting like a big brother to me, without me even realizing…"
"… It's all right."
"Eh?"
"You can call me that."
"Really?!"
"Yes. Just don't die."
"I won't. As long as you won't die, either."
"That's a promise, then. Little brat."
"… Wait…"
"…"
"… Little brat… does that mean…?"
"You see me as a big brother. Why do you think I've acted similar to one?"
"Big brother…"
"Don't let it bother you, little brat."
"… Okay, big brother!"
"Yes… you were", Levi admitted. "In my squad."
"Really?!" Eren looked so excited. It really was worth the pain he felt, emotionally. This little boy would grow up to be the Eren he knew, but right now… it wasn't his little brother. It wasn't the boy he had promised to that he wouldn't die. Yet here he was. Dying.
Then again, Eren broke that promise first.
It hurt to think about it. It was like Furlan and Isabel all over again. Then again… that's what he had gotten ready for, when he had gotten attached to Eren. He had risked seeing the boy die, like he saw Furlan and Isabel die. He risked getting this pain all over again.
"Eh…" Eren blinked. "But, why did you come here to see me, then?"
Levi looked at him with a somehow sad smile. "Because… Titans aren't the biggest monsters out there, you know?"
"They aren't?" Eren asked. Carla and Grisha tensed up, Grisha especially. Levi reached out to Eren with his left, bloodless hand, placing it onto Eren's head. "Yeah. Humans are a lot scarier than titans."
Eren didn't seem to understand. But it was okay for Levi. Eren didn't need to understand. Perhaps, one day, he would understand. "Nee, Eren, don't be so reckless. You'll save everyone, me and Mikasa, especially, a lot of worrying, if you do."
"You know Mikasa, too?!" Eren was excited and surprised. Did Mikasa also join the Survey Corps?
"She was also in my squad", Levi admitted. Talking about his squad… thinking about them… it hurt. It hadn't been this bad, when Eren had been there, but… Now that Eren was gone, too…
There was nothing to go back to. Nothing to live for.
"And, Eren… there is a difference between brave and suicidal, even if it's not always clear. Try to keep it so that you're always brave, but never suicidal", Levi ruffled the boy's hair. "I… would appreciate that, a lot."
Eren watched, but didn't say anything. Perhaps he realized that the man was dying. Perhaps he was just listening to the man's advice, realizing that it would be good knowledge for the future. Either way, he stayed quiet, listening intently. Levi was glad for that, knowing that the boy was listening to him. Maybe he'd even listen to his advice. "Keep your head cool. There are times… when you just want to attack anything in your sight, but… when you're like that, you stop caring about your own safety. So, keep your head cool. Your safety always comes before revenge, okay?"
Grisha gritted his teeth and pulled his hands away from the wound. There was nothing more he could do. He had tried, but… like the man had said, earlier, there was no saving him. He had lost too much blood before he had arrived.
At the very least, the man was allowed to see and talk to Eren, before he died. If his story was true (for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to doubt it much), then he must have known Eren pretty well. Especially if he came to the past while on death's door, simply to see Eren once more… Those two must have been terribly close. It hurt Grisha, knowing that he couldn't see what kind of soldier Eren grew out to be (if there was believing Levi's advice, he… wasn't the best, but at least he came out alive. Except for once.).
"Sir…" Eren spoke, his voice quiet, somehow sad, yet somehow knowing. "What… what did I call you?"
Carla was confused. Grisha was confused. Levi smiled. "Big brother."
Carla gasped and placed her hands over her mouth. Grisha gritted his teeth, tightening his hands into fists. Mikasa, who was listening in the hallway, gasped and her eyes widened. Yet, Eren looked just normal. Like he had guessed. Like he had known. "Big brother."
A tear escaped Levi's eyes, falling down to the pillow he was resting his head on. He gently stroked Eren's hair, a smile on his face that was both sad, yet happier than any smile they had ever seen. Eren leaned onto the touch, trying to swallow his tears. He wasn't able to keep them inside him, though, and the tears began spilling. Levi moved his hand from the top of the boy's head to his cheek, wiping some tears away with his thump. "It's all right to cry, Eren. When you're sad, cry. Don't bottle your feelings up. When you lose someone, cry. Don't blame their deaths on yourself. You… you've never done anything wrong. Even if someone says otherwise, always remember. No one's death is on your shoulders. Has never been, and will never be. I promise that to you."
Carla was crying. Out in the hallway, Mikasa was sniffing, trying her hardest not to sob. Grisha felt the corners of his eyes get wet. Eren was crying, leaning onto Levi's hand, the man's thump wiping away the new tears that came after the ones he already wiped away. The way he smiled… it was so heartbreaking, showing so many emotions, his eyes fixed on Eren and Eren only.
"You're strong, little brat", Levi said. "I know you are. Maybe not the same way Mikasa is, but you're strong. Stronger than anyone. Never fear. Always look into the future. That way…"
"You're gonna go far, kid."
The man smiled once more, a smile that spoke so much louder than words. It spoke just how proud he was of Eren, how happy he was to see him once more, how he knew that Eren was strong, would be stronger than anyone, how much he believed and trusted in Eren, just how close he had been to Eren. And, with that smile forever on his face, with one last movement of his thump, wiping away Eren's tears, his eyes slowly lost the light in them. His arm went limp as his heart stopped beating, in that moment.
Eren cried. Carla cried. Mikasa cried. Grisha cried. Yet Levi had only shed one tear, while looking at Eren with gentle and loving, protective eyes, making sure that his last expression to the boy was a smile that expressed all of his feelings for the boy.
As Eren cried, Carla crouched down and hugged him, rocking him back and forth. Grisha moved his hand to Levi's face, closing his eyes. Even like that, he looked so peaceful, so happy, that it hurt Eren. It was so peaceful that it was almost haunting, that expression. Crouching by his son, Grisha patted his head. "Eren… you did well."
"D-Did he… r-really become happy?" Eren questioned, quietly. Grisha nodded, glancing at Levi's face. "Yes. Yes, he did."
Eren looked at Levi's face. Sniffing, he broke out of Carla's grip and moved to stand just beside the bed. He moved his hand to Levi's hair, stroking it, while whispering and sobbing at the same time. "G-Good night, b-big bro-ther… Sleep w-well, a-and… D-Don't g-get… night-mares…"
Levi was already dead. Yet, it was like his expression just got even more peaceful and happy than it already was.
…
(Around 5 years later)
"Aagh!" Eren woke up with a scream, in his room in the basement. His eyes were filled with tears and his hand was reaching up to the ceiling, as if he had been trying to catch something. He panted there for a moment, before sitting up, wiping away the tears. "A… nightmare…?"
There was a knock on the door. Before he could answer, the door opened. Inside came his squad leader, Levi. "Everything all right, little brat?"
Little brat. A nickname he supposedly hated. Yet he couldn't bring himself to. "Y-Yeah… just… a nightmare, I guess…"
Levi looked at him for a moment. "You sure you're okay?"
Eren nodded. "Yeah…"
"You don't sound too sure."
"I… I'm not sure."
"… What happened?"
"Eh? How do you…?"
"I've seen that face on other soldiers. Is it because of what happened at Trost?"
"… No. It… happened before. Before Wall Maria was… breached…"
"Before Wall Maria was breached? Then… your father was a doctor, right?"
"Yeah… One day… there was a soldier. He wasn't seriously injured, but… he lost too much blood on the way there…"
"… And he died."
"He said from the beginning that he would. That it was futile to try and save him."
"Yet… he came to seek help. Can't say I understand."
"He didn't."
"What?"
"He didn't come to seek help. He… wanted to see me."
"Wanted to see you?"
"Yeah…"
"…"
"…"
"You're not going to tell me more, are you?"
"… No, I… I don't… I can't…"
"Don't start crying, little brat. It wasn't your fault. I know you didn't do anything wrong. It was just too late for that soldier. It most definitely wasn't your fault."
"… He said that too."
"Huh?"
"That soldier. He told me that no one's death was on my shoulders, now or ever."
"… He was a wise man, then. What division?"
"… Survey Corps."
"Survey Corps? What was his name?"
"I…"
"… Did you join Survey Corps to honor his memory?"
"No. But… he cemented my will to join."
"… I see. Get back to sleep, little brat."
"W-Wait, Heicho!"
"What?"
"Umm… can I… ask you something?"
"Go on."
"Ugh… Is it okay, if I, uh… call you, um… big… brother…?"
"… What did you just say?"
"Uh, it was nothing, forget I e-ever asked!"
"… Do whatever you want."
"E-Eh?"
"Call me that, if you want to. Just promise not to die."
"I won't. As long as you won't die, either."
"That's a promise, then. Little brat. Now get some sleep."
"Okay, big brother!"
So... did you cry, or was it just me?
(Future Levi was actually supposed to die right after Grisha noted that at least he was allowed to see and talk to Eren before he died, but he just refused to die. The Humanity's Strongest really doesn't go down easily, even if he himself admits that it's his time to go.)
(By the way, I just realized that the song might have fit Kenny and Levi better, yet this was the first thing I thought of when I started listening to it. What is wrong with me?)
I really want to hear your opinions on the last bit, where Eren and Levi talk to each other and repeat the conversation Levi and Eren from the future did at a later date. I mean, did you like it or should I have left it out? I didn't really know whether to add it or not, so I really want to know if it was a good choice to add it...
Anyways, I'm gonna go cry in some corner now. Hope you liked it!
