Pairings: Yami x Bakura x Marik (of course!), one-sided Ryou x Bakura, and mentions of Malik x Yuugi.
Summary: Ryou's being torn apart inside as he watches himself lose his yami to the other dark's.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!... but if I did... life would be very... interesting. -isnt going to elaborate on that- XD And I don't own the song "Lafflesia"
Warnings: Character Death, OOC Psycho Ryou. XD
"Lafflesia"
No one understands my pain.
The pain of having my other half taken away from me.
You were the only one I had, ever since my mother and sister died and my father practically abandoned me. At first.... at first I had tried so hard to get rid of you. All off my friends - the few I did make - put into coma's because of you. You had single-handedly made my life a million times more miserable then it already was.
Then when the Pharaoh banished you to the Shadow Realm that first time… I realized something.
When you were around, I was never alone. If there was one thing I hated in this life more then anything it was being alone - after having felt the pain of loss and abandonment so many times. You had always been there though - in the back of my mind - and even in my denial I had taken a strange comfort in it.
With that realization came others.
You had done those things for me. As terrible as those things had been - what I thought had been pointedly done just to torture me - you had done so that I wouldn't be lonely if you were ever taken away from me.
It had never even been a fleetingthought that you would… could leave me. You had always been there - even when I didn't want you to be. Then Yami banished you and it hit me like a ton of bricks. You could leave me. You could be ripped away from me in the blink of an eye...
You came back though.... you escaped the shadow realm and came back to me. I'll admit, at first I was frightened; scared you would be mad at me for betraying you. You weren't though, and after that I vowed never to betray you again for fear that you would be taken away from me for good.
Then that fateful day came...
Your final battle against the Pharaoh.
And in the end you were defeated once more - for the final time. With the world at peace once more and seemingly no threat of you reutning, the Pharaoh returned to the afterlife and I.... I was devastated. You were really gone. Yami had destroyed you and the ring was gone forever, somewhere I would never be able to reach it....
I was on the verge of suicide, did you know that yami? You probably did. I've always been weak. But I would have found the strength to kill myself... just to be with you...
But then as if by some miracle my prayers were answered, and you were here again.
You had your own body, though it wasn't your body from Ancient Egypt but a replica of mine. You were mortal again, you came back to me again…
And I was truly happy.
The millennium items were gone. There was no reason to fight anymore, no reason for me to fear losing you again. I had you all to myself...
Ah, but how wrong was I to fall for my delusions of a happily ever after?
Fate. Fate is cruel. Just when you think everything is fine and that nothing else could go wrong it slaps you in the face and then beats you into the ground. It laughs at you and mocks you...
You are my Yami, my darkness, my other half. Mine. No one else should have you. We are two halves of one soul. We should always be together. Thats what you always told me right? That I am your Hikari, your light, your other half and that I could never escape you. Those were your very words, so shouldn't it work the other way around as well?
I never understood your hatred towards the pharaoh until your final battle with him, it was then I completely understood your cruel behavior even if it hadn't directly been the fault of Yami, nor his father for that matter.
But now it seems the tables have turned, for I'm now the one who hates the Pharaoh. I loathe him; I want him to die. I want him to suffer. Marik too… both of them… they stole you away from me, Bakura. You said you would always be with me...
But you lied.
It's ironic really, how that damn Pharaoh - your sworn enemy, the one you tried to kill for over 3000 years - could be one of the people who stole your heart away. You're a thief, and yet you didn't even notice until it was too late that Yami had stolen something you claimed you didn't have.
And Marik. You love him too, don't you? I see the way you look at him. That content, faint smile when he holds you. They've managed to shatter your cold exterior. How? Am I not your light? They are yami's too. Darkness. Shouldn't it be the light that chases away the darkness that haunts you?
I remember the hysteric screaming,
your countenance dyed in evil
the voice that slips out of your fingers, tumbles away
my jealous heart that can't be killed
cold response
That's why you're here, my beloved yami. Hands and feet bound to the bed. Your screaming… in pain? Well yami dearest, that's the point. You know… I don't want to hurt you. But you hurt me first. We're two halves of one whole - we should share the pain, shouldn't we?
Another stab - this time to your shoulder - your voice is getting hoarse now. You've lost a lot of blood, but your strong, you can handle it. Right?
… a tear slips down my cheek…
This physical pain I'm inflicting upon you... It can't compare to the emotional pain I'm feeling. Emotional pain that hurts so much it becomes physical. And it's unbearable.
But you know you're the cause of that, don't you yami?
It's not the fact that your fucking the other two yami's, it's the fact that they consume your whole life… and you ignore me. It hurts when you push me - your other half - away and pay more attention to them. Both who at one point tried to destroy you.
Did you not see what it was doing to me?
Don't glare at me like that yami… I don't want to see that anger in your eyes directed at me. It only hurts me worse. But then again… that doesn't bother you does it?
"Let me go, hikari." You growl at me in that deep, husky voice of yours. Even when your helpless and bleeding you still have such a demanding tone. Just another thing I love about you. Your strength, determination. After all the tragedies in your life, you managed to stay strong. Me? Well, you always told me I was weak. But it's true, isn't it? I only let myself drown in my sorrows.
I dance with you till even words hurt
I long for you so much that even my dreams are painful
goodbye, my beloved shadow
You know 'Kura… Yami and Marik… they don't love you.
You narrow your eyes and open your mouth to reply but I slap you before you can say anything. You look shocked. I'm sorry yami… I didn't mean to strike you, but you were going to interrupt me.
They don't love you… like I do.
How could you ignore my pain? I know I hid it for the longest time.... thinking, hoping that… thing you had going with the other two was just that - a thing. Something that happened. Fuck buddies, maybe? You weren't suppose to fall in love with them though. But you did, and the closer you got to them… The farther you got from me.
Yuugi and Malik? What about them? They may be losing their yami's as well… but not to this extent. Yami still pays attention to Yuugi and even Marik is still close with Malik. Why are you different? Why could you not even spare me a glance? And besides, even if they were in the same situation… they have each other. It's not like it's a secret, they're all over each other.
But tell me this yami, who do I have? Yuugi's friends are not my friends. They're only nice to me because they feel sorry for me. Malik… we used to be close, but he's been stuck too far up Yuugi ass to care about me anymore.
I stare at the beautiful flower, sparkling
reflected in your wavering eyes
I brush your trembling cheek, Cup your falling tears….
Do you realize how beautiful you are, yami? It's no wonder the Pharaoh and the Tomb Keeper where attracted to you. I don't consider myself beautiful though, even if your body was created from mine. Your hair is wilder, and your eyes… narrow, blood red. Your taller too, and have more muscle then I do. Your perfect… much more deserving of a body then I am…
You look tired. But that's okay… I'll let you fall into an endless sleep very soon. I just want to spend a little more time with you first. Your so silent… why won't you talk to me? We haven't had any 'heart to heart' talks in so long….or have we ever? I can't remember…..
That's better. Snce you wouldn't talk I had to make you scream, are you mad at me?
I hope not…
I stare into your eyes, theres no fear. I'm glad… I don't want you to fear me. But there's tears? Why are you crying, yami? Are you crying because you now feel my pain?
Or… are you crying because you won't be able to see your lovers ever again?
I gently run my fingers down your cheek, feeling you tremble under my touch. Does my touch disgust you that much? I brush the falling tears away, feeling my own hand shaking. I wish you would smile for me… like you do for them. Just once? It would make me happy…
But you can't smile can you? Can't smile through the pain… I couldn't either yami, so don't worry, I forgive you…
I bring the knife in my hand up - still smiling - only for you yami. I'll only smile for you… so will you scream one last time for me?
…I bring it down...
More tears fall down my face - but I'm still smiling… you screamed… just for me. Only for me. Your eyes have dulled, but they're still beautiful… always.
I lean down and stare into your lifeless eyes…
….and kiss you...
I love you yami.
I'm your hikari, you're my yami.
I'm your light, you're my darkness.
I'm your other half…
And you're my other half.
Mine.
Misao:
Edited: June 30th, 2009.
I was just re-reading this fic and decided to edit it up a bit, because I noticed alot of mistakes and such that irked me. There is probably still some more mistakes I didn't catch, but it's better then it was. I should probably look into getting a Beta-reader sometime in the near future... xD