Wanting You Back
A wise person once told me "Girls just want someone to want them back."
I never realized until now, just how right she was.
I won't deny it, I always loved Brooke Davis. From the moment I first met her, she took my breath away. But, being the geek that I am, she never looked twice at me. We've always been 'friends' , but never anything more. Not that I haven't wanted something more, but as I said, I was nothing more than her friend. I was a geek to her. She was student council president, head cheerleader, and basically way out of my league.
Not that I had a league. I just got the occasional girl that saw something in me. But soon enough, that occasional girl would change her mind and leave. They always did. People always leave. Another wise person said that to me. Peyton Sawyer. Another one of the girls I loved, but who once again, never saw anything in me other than Mouth McFadden, Friend. Why do all the girls I like, always fall for Lucas?
Brooke, Peyton, Rachel. They all loved Lucas. And one of them loved me. But just like every other girl I've ever had, I lost her. She walked away from me, just like the rest of them. And I hated her for doing it, but at the same time, I loved her, for ever seeing anything in me in the first place. Rachel meant the world to me at one point, but then things changed.
She fell for Cooper and I was once again left in the dust. But when Cooper left Tree Hill, I really thought I had a shot. But she told me I didn't want her. Told me she was a mess, and I might as well move on. I guess it saved me the trouble of being left, but it sure hurt just as bad. I never moved on, and I probably never will.
In a way, I always blamed myself because, I was nothing more than a nerd, and she was Rachel, Brooke's popular friend. A cheerleader, that had been with countless guys. And the last time she left me, it really was my fault. It was completely and totally my fault, and to this day I regret it.
She got expelled. Brooke stole a calculus test so she wouldn't fail and not graduate, and Rachel covered for her. She left Tree Hill on Prom Night, but she couldn't leave without saying goodbye. We danced at the airport, but before she left, she asked me to come with her. My mind flooded with choices, I was unsure of what to say. But in the end, I did what most people never would take the chance to do. I said yes.
We ended up in Honey Grove, Texas. For a kid like me, who has lived in Tree Hill all his life, this was a complete change. I felt like I was in a whole new world, but strangely, I was okay because I was with her, and that made me feel like I was floating on a cloud. Rachel made me feel better about myself, like for once, I was good enough. But I ruined it. I was still not over Shelley, and I was unable to get past it. I spent my time, wanting Shelley back, when Rachel was right in front of me, ready to be with me.
She left and I don't even know where she is now. All she left was a picture of us. 'I could have loved the boy in this picture' was scribbled on the back. That was it. I was left with some dumb picture that broke my heart, and the thoughts of what could have been. And those thoughts hurt worse than a broken heart ever could I now had two girls to be miserable about losing. But I never imagined losing Rachel would hurt more. It made me realize who I truly loved.
Rachel was it. Rachel was the one. And it had taken me all this time to realize that. It also helped me realize that Peyton and Brooke were right. Sure, people always leave, but it doesn't mean they won't come back, or you can't find them. And girls do just want someone to want them back, and that's why I'm going to find Rachel. I'm going to find her and want her back.