黒羽 三日月
Written by: Ace & Moon (I don't feel like using real names...Again!)
Entry I: "One-Winged Angel"
It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm guessing you're here for a recap. I guess I could...Soon after discovering my own name, I had learned that I had a wing. For many days, I proceeded back to the Canyon, where I was first "born"...or whatever. Many times, something...or someone...would be killed. I was angry. Lost, confused. Searching for answers. I had gained a wing somehow...I can't remember how…
Only one name would plight against me whenever I went back to the Canyon...Jenova. What importance was it...Jenova...The Turk? Are they all connected somehow…? If so...how? What meaning does it all have…? Am I...No! Jenova killed them! It's all Jenova's fault...I'll...I'll explain everything! It was a while. June fourteenth. A day after our actual eighth birthdays. Mutsuki, Shadow, and I are triplets, after all. I hadn't seen Mother at all.
"Mother?"
No answer. C'mon...I just want to lie with you...That never happened. An hour or so later...We had been "guided" out, and torn from our "actual" bodies. Placed into these bodies, the ones we use now.
"Kuro...What's going on?"
"If I knew...I'd tell you, Mutsuki…"
"I...Of course."
That was to be the second to last words I heard. Out of nowhere...Something much like a blade had pierced through our chests. We spent four whole hours, suffering. I hadn't realised what this would do…I constantly held onto their hands, and when it got silent...Their voices had gone quiet.
"Mutsuki...Shadow...Wake up…"
No answer.
"Wake up…"
I didn't know what I expected.
"I need you guys! Please...Don't leave me alone!"
I heard the silent chuckle...The monster.
"You've all failed my expectations."
"..."
"You'll be purged at once."
I stood quiet. Their bodies left my sides. I wanted to follow…
"No…"
Another voice. A man's voice.
"What of this one?"
"That one's alive?"
"Probably not."
"Send him to the world above."
"Mother...I don't think that's a wise idea-"
"Do it!"
"Right away."
My body had slowly raised up...Where am I going…? Mother…? Where are you…? Once I arrived, I felt the wound on my chest close...It was bright, sunny...It hurt my eyes…
"Mother? Mutsuki...Shadow…?"
No response...I had let my head hang low...
"No…"
I let out a scream...I hoped no one heard it…
"No! Where are you?!"
I cried the whole night...I whimpered their names…
"I want my Mother…"
Entry II: "Horrifying Experiences"
I remember, after the men in blue had caught me they brought me to this really huge house and locked me in a cell. My sister was there too, I felt horrible for not protecting her better and I was hungry… That's when I had first heard Kuroba's whimpers… at least then I didn't know him or who he was. All I remember was he kept whimpering the names Shadow and Mutsuki and sometimes he'd whimper the word Mother.
After a little while the uniformed men had brought food for Yuj and I, little did I know this would be the first really good look I would get at the red headed one; who I would later learn to hate. He had bright red hair pulled up into a slight ponytail I guess, blue eyes and he wore some sort of goggles on his head; I guess like a helicopter pilot would wear? He himself wore a black uniform with a white button up shirt under his jacket; I guess he must be a different rank than the others. I remember he had laughed as Yuj and I scattered as they opened the door to put two small dishes of food inside for us before locking the door once more.
After they had left, Yuj and I had cautiously gone close to the door to grab the dishes they had left before eating; a bit too fast considering I remember choking a little. That's all I really remember; I got really sleepy after that...
Entry III: "Kage no Senshi & Utakata"
I've gone by many names. "Hunter in the Night", "Night Hunter", "Silver-Eyed Death", "Death Dealer", "Shadow Hunter", "Lone Shadow", "The Second Man in Black", "Shinra's Toy", "Lost Name"...But I found the most intriguing of them all to be "Shadow Warrior". For some reason, I had an urge to write in their fancy writing. Taking a throwing knife of mine, I carved into a wall, in their fancy writing. It read something like this: "ここで、影の戦士が生まれました。そしてここで、彼は屠殺するでしょう" ("Here, the Shadow Warrior was born. And here, he will slaughter"). It was satisfying, to strike fear into those who thought they could best me.
But this Mansion...I wanna go home…
"Mother...Mutsuki...Shadow...Where are you…?"
No answer...I should be expecting this. But...Out of nowhere, my tone changed, and my lips formed words…
"A desire...for eternal transcendence...Yet it is years beyond reach...A disruptive malevolent flame...Whose scorching pulse cannot be stopped...In the falling cherry blossom snow, a dance is performed...As an inspiring voice weaves defiance...How many times must this burning sorrow be repeated? This battle prayer is but a transience...The full moon in the endless sky...Calls out the winds of history,..Despite the motives of God's will, I'll extend my hand...For that dozing nostalgia...Towards that figure…For it is a transient soul, an old memory...An impermanence reawakened...Unforgiven and knowing, the body seeks out...The promise for specks of light...Though played by affectionate words, I must leave your side...And wander towards my rest...But this time is eternal...As I wish to continue...Being guided through the cycle of rebirth and death...For it is a transient soul, an old memory...An impermanence reawakened...How many times must this burning sorrow be repeated…? This battle prayer is but a transience…"
I felt...relaxed after hearing myself...It was to be short-lived, though. I let a groan out as soon as I felt an electrical current flow through my body, while being reminded to shut up and stay quiet…
Entry IV: "The Boy's Shadows"
When I woke up, I could swear I heard a boy speaking somewhere close by; little did I know it was Kuroba at the time. I was unable to make out what he was saying it was all sort of muffled sounding but after it stopped I had heard a small groan. My cell door was open so I cautiously decided to go see what had happened. At first all I saw as I peeked into the pitch black cell was shadows and as my eyes adjusted a could make out a smaller shadow sitting int the middle of the room, chained there unable to move.
"H..hello?"
All I received for an answer was small whimpers and a groan as if the boy was in pain as I kept trying to get a better look at him. Eventually I decided to just go back to my own cell, perhaps I'd have another chance to try and see more then shadows again soon.. If the red headed man allowed it. When I returned to my own cell, another man in a black suit was waiting for me; as soon as I re-entered he had quickly grabbed a hold of my arm. I remember it had really hurt when he had dragged me down the hallway into another man's office and pushed me to the floor…
I tried looking up at the other man but every time I got even the slightest glimpse I was told to keep my eyes down. I of course did as I was told, I already had a bruise on my arm; I didn't want to add anymore for doing nothing at all or misbehaving. The man in the black uniform spoke with the other man about something called "testing" I guess, I was trying not to pay attention; I just wanted to go back to my cell but they wouldn't stop talking. Finally, I felt the man grab my arm again pulling me from the floor and pushing me out the door before I could look at the other man behind the desk. The man in the suit had led me back to my cell, pushing me inside as I cried out in pain; that didn't seem to matter to him though. He did send a medic in though to bandage my wounds, maybe they aren't so bad… I think?
Entry V: "Currents"
They sent a medic in for Moon...I look like hell, and they don't treat me like that? Another electrical shock. It wasn't so bad...Until I heard the slight hum indicating more voltage...I let out groans. This isn't fair...Soon, the redhead had stepped in, with a rather large knife in his hands.
"Ya think just 'cause you don't talk, that you're strong?"
"..."
"It's good that you don't talk, yo. It just means I get to hurt ya more, yo."
I ignored him. Until the blade slid across my chest. Another wound. They wouldn't let Moon in...Not yet. I was bloody all over…
"You think we'll just let your "Moon" in here?"
"..."
"We're not. Not 'till ya look like hell, yo!"
It was hours later when it all stopped...I could barely keep myself sitting up even with my arms shackled to the wall...They left my door open, and I barely kept myself sitting up as my body "hung" from the shackles…
Entry VI: "I Think Hell Would Be A Better Place Than This"
I remember hearing the red headed man go into the boy's cell, and I remember the cries and whimpers I heard coming from the room; I couldn't see what was going on but I could tell the boy was in pain. Huddled into my sister's side, her deep purple hair tickling my face; I can't explain why I was afraid I mean I had never even seen the boy's face let alone speak to him so why was I worrying so much.
It seemed like ages that the man had gone in there but eventually he had left, looking over at me as he did. I remember hiding as he walked by, hoping he wasn't coming for me next. Once he was gone, I noticed they had left the door to the boy's room open so I decided to look in; what I saw was horrible. The boy was bloody and he was still chained to the wall, and as I peeked in a bit further he had looked up revealing silver eyes.
As he looked up, I had pulled back hiding once again; at least until he spoke.. His words seemed broken and scattered but I did make out the words "it's alright, I won't hurt you" which had made me decide to move closer to him.
As I approached the boy, I could see the extent of his injuries and forgetting my own injuries I had placed my broken wrist on the boys chest using magic to heal the wound; whimpering as i had used pressure on my wrist. He seemed a bit nervous but he hadn't tried to harm me or anything and he was healing rather well but that's when the red headed man appeared dragging me away from him back into my own cell. He had used this small metal thing to send an electric shock threw my body as he had broken my other wrist for "misbehaving". They sent in a medic to deal with both my broken wrists… but I was glad I had healed the boy, even if it resulted in more wounds for me.
Entry VII: "Don't Waste Your Life On Mine"
Hmph...That was smart...I guess. I muttered something out to Moon before she was completely dragged out...
"Don't waste...your life...on mine..."
I fell asleep. It was an awful sleep. I found myself awakening to nothing…
"Mother…"
-Two Years Later-
Freedom found me...I knew my name, but...I was hunted. I killed many, and others wanted me dead. But...None of it mattered with Moon at my side…
Entry VIII: "Where Are They?"
Their voices haunted me… I had Kuroba back but where were Mutsuki and Shadow… I never knew exactly what happened only that they had been taken as well when i had lost Kuroba to that…. Monster.. It feels like I hear their voices… in the lifestream? But how… are they.. Dead?
Once again Moon had come, she's been asking a lot lately about Kuroba and his siblings.. And even their father.. Zack. I haven't seen Zack in such a long time.. Ever since I… broke his heart and left. I wonder if he remembers…
Moon wishes to know about Zack.. hmm
"Does he know Kuroba is his son?"
"I.. he doesn't know any of them belong to him, even though they call him father. He was never around enough to know"
"Right, he was in Soldier, wasn't he?"
"Yeah.."
I really couldn't tell the girl much, I didn't remember much except that he was never around.. And I didn't want to tell her I had left him for another man.. One she knew all too well… The Great General…
After she had left, I heard their voices again as if closer this time…
"Shaadow, Mutsuki?"
"Mother?"
"Where are you.."
"We're right here"
A boy and a girl had appeared before me, one with deep purple hair and the other with jet black hair. I could tell who they were though, they hadn't changed much except they had both grown up. Giving each of them a hug I had began crying a bit, it had been such a long time since I had held my children in my arms.
Entry IX: "Dear Mother"
I went out again. To visit Mother in the Church. I opened the doors, rolling my eyes at the sight of the flowers.
"Mother?"
"I'm here."
"I know."
"What brings you here?"
"Everything? You? Who gives a damn…?
"I do, silly boy."
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
"What? I'm serious."
"I know."
I stayed the night there...It was late when I arrived anyway…
Entry X: "Shadows of a Shadow"
Shadow and Mutsuki had returned to the lifestream promising they would return eventually and shortly after, Kuroba had stopped by. It was late and he could tell I had been crying but I never told him why; I just said I had missed him. He had picked me up and taken me to the room I sleep in, and slipped me beneath the white blanket and slipped in beside me. Curling up on my sons chest, I heaved a small sigh; I had missed out on so much of his life and now here I was… him holding me instead of me holding him.
Clinging to him, I didn't want the night to end at all for fear that this was a dream and that when the sun rose I would lose my son again; even though I knew this wasn't a dream at all. I'll admit, I blamed myself all these years for letting that monster take him away but I am glad that he had someone like Moon to help him get through the torment and pain the men at the mansion put him through.
Entry XI: "Our Souls Have Been Torn And Our Bodies Forsaken"
I had never shown the marks left by Shinra. I wasn't going to show them...One night, though...I showed Moon the twin scars up my arms, up to my shoulders. It was a look of surprise.
"They did that to you…?"
"...Yeah."
"I see…"
"I guess...You could put in the sense of "They tore my soul and forsook my body...I am doomed to live up to what they did, and almost always survive…"
"I guess I understand?"
"Hell would be a better place than this…"
"Don't say that…"
Entry XI: "In Case Memory Of Your Life Should Fade, Let Now Your Peace Be Made"
Kuroba finally showed me what Shinra had done, he had never shown me before the scars that lined his arms; I wanted so badly to comfort him. Wrapping my arms around him, I could feel tears dripping down my cheeks and I tried so hard not to have him see me crying; I know he wouldn't want me to cry over something I had no choice in stopping.
It kind of made me think back to our time in the mansion… I remember always going in to heal his wounds, even while my wrists were broken; so why don't I remember these scars he showed me… I remember every scar I ever healed on him…
Cuddling into his chest, I cried; his arms wrapping around me as if trying to say it wasn't my fault but it really was.. He always took more punishment in exchange for my safety…. If it wasn't for me…
Entry XII: "Afraid or Heartless?"
The scars I had shown her...Those were from an experiment. One that would never heal. One that pretty much turned my nerves away from pain until I used them. Every night, it'd throb and squirm. You couldn't tell though...Not upon a glance. It was a black demon. Not Chaos...But a demon. I'm not afraid...nor am I heartless…
Entry XIII: "Reprisal"
Moon came by again, except this time I had more to tell her about Kuroba and his siblings; well actually this time Mutsuki and Shadow were waiting to meet her. She seemed a bit nervous when she had entered the Capitol, as if perhaps she could sense the children's presence but she still came in. Perhaps I should have warned her though, as she walked in Mutsuki had picked the girl up spinning her around.
"So you're the one taking care of brother, you're so pretty!"
"Heh, brother? Oh! You must be Mutsuki right?"
"Yes! Hasn't brother mentioned me..?"
"I well, not recently but he did once when I met him,"
"I see, oh yeah this is Shadow; my other brother."
She had motioned to a boy hiding behind Aerith as if he was afraid of me but after awhile he had come out and given a slight nod. He had jet black hair, and eyes exactly like Kuroba's; I could easily see the resemblance even though he was the youngest of the three.
Entry XIV: "Kuroba's Scowl"
I'm not exactly sure what I feel right now. I feel like murdering, but...I don't even know. Mind you, I am a murderer. A serial killer. A maniac, madman. Whatever you want to call me. Moon had come home, and asked me to go to the Church with her. She said there was something she wanted to show me. I followed.
"So what's the surprise?"
"I can't tell you."
Eventually, we arrived at the Sector 5 Church. But...Nobody or anything was here. Well, Mother was, but she hadn't even noticed.
"I...But they were here…"
"Is this a joke, Moon?"
"No...Y...Your brother and sister were here…"
I gave a growl. I can't remember why I was angry or in a bad mood. I scowled at her.
"They're dead! They couldn't have been here, not a chance!"
I stormed out, slamming the door behind me. I wasn't in the mood for people. So, I went back to my little shelter in Cosmo Canyon.
Entry XV: "Aerith, Is Kuroba Alright?"
He freaked out at me…. I took him to the church to see his brother and sister but when we arrived they were no longer there. He had never raised his voice to me like that before… Whimpering as Kuroba had stormed out I sighed. Aerith had pulled me against her as I had felt soft wet tears running down my cheeks.
"I.. Aerith, is he alright?"
"Of course dear, just give him some time alright… The last he saw of Shadow and Mutsuki was the day they died"
"I.. of course"
I had continued crying into her shirt for awhile before she had told me where to find Kuroba and headed there. By the time I had arrived to Cosmo Canyon it had become dark and I was freezing; I didn't want to disturb him so I had waited outside the shelter waiting for him to come out.
Entry XVI: "I'm Not Cold"
It was cold, I guess. I was shivering to death. I could see my own breath, but...I didn't care. This little shelter, this natural occurring one...This served as my shield from the outside world. I dreamed of returning here ever since I was taken away by Shinra. It was my "home". Heh...Home away from home. I didn't believe Moon, Shadow and Mutsuki are dead, they cannot return…
I wish there was another way, but...There's not. No matter how much I deny it. I stepped out with my sword. I knew Moon was there, but I had stepped on.
"I'll be back. Go home, before you freeze, alright?"
"I...Of course."
She teleported home. I smirked. I knew the Redhead was in the area.
"Hey, boy. Follow me, yo."
"Hmph."
I followed him. To a home in...Well, the middle of nowhere. I smirked as I drove him to the wall, and skewered him there. It was more of a lance I had conjured up, but it didn't matter. Blood had gone everywhere. My face and body, and the wall behind me. I let out a maniacal laugh.
"One down...Four more to go!"
Entry XVII: "Covered in Blood"
I had teleported home after Kuroba told me too, I knew better than to argue with him, especially with the mood he was in. He's still been a bit different lately, distancing himself I guess; I don't really ask. I sat there shivering waiting for him to return but when he returned he seemed different; the boy i knew wasn't there anymore. Before me stood a boy full of blood, with a look in his eyes that could burn through you if he so wanted to.I will never forget those eyes, the eyes of a murderer.
"Kuroba?"
"Of course"
"What's wrong, you seem different"
"It's nothing/"
I didn't ask anything else for fear of angering him so I had just headed into the room instead, he would follow if he wanted. I admit though, that look in his eyes scared me and the blood all over him didn't help the matter either. He wasn't the fragile boy I had met at Shinra.
Entry XVIII: "It's Still Possible"
They said I wasn't the gentle boy I once was. No, I wasn't. That's right. I decided to clean myself off, before going back to her. I thought about it. No, I didn't regret a thing. If I did, I'd be weak. Unable to fight. Slaughter. That's the only thing I know. But still, I thought about it. I felt like it. Besides, it's all natural. When I went back to Moon, I stood at the window for a second. A bright flash of lightning. Lightning…
I jumped back, and shivered. This was my weakness. Anything electric...Well, that's not true. Lightning magic and thunderstorms...or any kind of storms involving lightning. Things like light switches, no...That doesn't freak me out, they just have to zap first. Anyway...I could read the look in Moon's eyes when I got back home… "This isn't the fragile boy I had met at Shinra"...That look kinda made me think.
It wasn't everyday that just a look made me stop and think. With the ongoing thunderstorm, I had lied down on Moon...I fell asleep and I had a dream...It was...Me and...another me? Wait, this is gentle me...Scarless, gentle. Only difference was, I was dressed in my usual attire, and the other wore something like mine, only it was sleeveless. His eyes were green, mine were gray. The other Kuroba said something…
"Are you sure you want to be like this?"
"..."
"A monster? A murderer?"
"...You don't know me…"
"You'd be surprised…"
I woke up. I quietly whispered the last words that I had not heard in the dream…]
"...About what I know about you…"
The gentle boy is gone...But maybe it's possible that gentle boy could come back somehow...
Entry XIX: "Aerith, Where Did The Fragile Boy I Used To Know Go?"
I had been tending to the flowers at the church when Kuroba arrived wrapping his arms around me. It had surprised me a bit, lately I had sensed nothing but pain and anger from him; but today.. He was the boy I had taken care of when he was younger.
"Kuroba, what brings you here?"
"I want to know mother.."
"Know what"
"What's happened.. To make me this way"
"You scared Moon…"
"I know.."
"The things you have seen in life is what happened"
"Is there a way to change that?"
"You have to learn to trust others again"
He had stood there quietly after that while I finished up with the flowers before I looked over. I could see the pain he dealt with, but in order to change things this was something he had to do on his own.
Entry XX: "But How?"
Trust others again…? I don't see it being possible...I never trusted a single soul after Shinra. Little tiny bits of trust were there, but not much more than that. I couldn't change it. I didn't even know how to trust people anymore. All the torture...Everything they've done to me. How could I trust them? I didn't enjoy waking up in the morning to be electrocuted. Sometimes, I still feel a little bit of that linger before I wake up...I can't even change that. Maybe there's a better way…If so...What is it?
I have to know. I quietly stepped out of the Church. Not like it'd matter if Mother noticed me leave anyway. Once I was outside, a sharp pain erupted through my body. I dropped to the ground, cursing in the old Cetran language. Damn it, Jenova, I'm not your puppet! Breaking free of the urge to give into Jenova's will, I walked off.
It was here, that I had an idea. What if I killed Shinra completely? I spent a long time wanting justice for what they've done...So I thought this would be the best. One by one, I would continue to attempt to destroy Shinra. Through its military, that wasn't working...They were training them faster than I could kill...So I needed to go further. Why not the elite units, the Turks? I smirked. I had one...or so I thought…
Entry XXI: "I Know He Can Do It"
Kuroba is still acting really weird I mean he comes home at odd hours of the day and most times he's covered in blood. He still hasn't even told me what's going on, it's so confusing. We've known each other since our Shinra days, why can't he seem to trust me enough to tell me what's happening.. I thought we were past that…
After awhile of waiting for him to return home, I gave up and had gone to lay down. No point in waiting for an explanation that I'll never get anyways. Falling asleep I swear I heard the door open but instead of getting up to check I had let myself fall further asleep. I knew at least for now I was safe, Shinra wasn't looking for me that I know of anyway.
Entry XXII: "Return to Shinra"
I guess I shouldn't have fallen asleep because when I awoke, I found myself in an all too familiar place… grey stone walls, a concrete floor; I was in none other than a holding cell. Looking around, I could see nothing except my breath as my eyes adjusted to the darkened room. That's when I had heard a familiar voice that had sent shivers down my spine.
"Heh, welcome back, yo."
Unable to see him I looked around blindly "You! What do you want with me, when Kuroba finds out where I am…"
I had been cut off as I had felt a small piece of steel at my throat, threatening to tear at my windpipe. The Turk stood there laughing as I smelt the alcohol on his breath. It really wasn't too hard to remember that, he and I had history together after all even if I didn't want to remember.
Trying to keep myself from growling in case the blade dug any further into my throat, I had let out a small whimper as if I was a puppy who's owner had smacked it. My only hope was that Kuroba would know where to look for me.
Entry XXIII: "Down With Shinra!"
I went "home", but...Something was different. It was quiet. I assumed Moon was sleeping, but I decided to check anyway. I went back to our room, and she was missing. A note had been placed. Where to find her.
"Oh...Hell no!"
Rage burned in my eyes, and my body trembled from the anger. Without thinking, I spread my wing and made my way there. Guards surrounded the Mansion. I slowly made my way to the two guarding the entrance, with an evil smirk.
"Do either of you know what I'll do to you if you don't talk?"
They trembled with fear, as they mumbled "No".
"I'll split you open. Now talk. Where. Is. Moon!"
The first one was clearly desperate, so he just threw an answer out.
"I...I don't know!"
"Y'know what I hate more than Shinra?"
The two men were baffled.
"Liars!"
I quickly plunged my blade into the throat of the guard who lied, and did as I said I would. Literally splitting him open. The other one backed away.
"P...Please...Don't kill me!"
"I suggest you talk...Now!"
"She's...in the basement...Just please! Don't kill me!"
"I'll make it fair. I won't kill you."
"...Really?"
"Nope!"
I decapitated the guard. I took his helmet, and sent it to the little "shelter" in the Canyon. I made my way through the Mansion, slaughtering the guards in "horrific" ways. Some of the corpses were so mutilated, that you couldn't tell who they were anymore.
"Die! Die!"
I made my way into the basement. Awaiting there for me, was the red-headed Turk.
"You...I killed you!"
"Apparently not, yo. You're too weak to kill me, yo."
I growled, and as soon as I did, I had the man's baton-thing in my face.
"You've brought a baton to a sword fight."
"Think again, yo."
"What are you trying to say-"
Quickly, the taser part of his baton zapped me, as I yelped and jumped back.
"H...How dare you…?"
"Told ya."
"You can go fuck yourself!"
Rushing into an attack, I split the baton in half, and impaled the Turk though the stomach. To make his injury worse, I twisted the blade. He only smirked.
"See ya later, yo."
He ran off...Well. Flew off. Someone dropped a ladder from a helicopter, to which he fled.
"Thanks, Blondie! Now go!"
I growled…
"Coward!"
I turned to Moon, and quickly freed her.
"T...Thanks, Kuro."
"...You're welcome, I guess."
I turned to leave this place…But, I had something in mind…
"Down with Shinra!"
Entry XXIV: "I Refuse To Believe He Did All Of This"
Making my way through the broken and mangled bodies of dead soldiers, I had wrapped my arms around my sore body. I refuse to tell Kuro what the red - head had done to me before he arrived and I refuse to believe that all these bodies are because of him.
I know he comes home covered in blood but still this is way too many dead soldiers for one person. Besides, he could have just easily threatened them without killing them. I had let out a small whimper as I had tripped, falling over revealing slightly some of the injuries to my throat and chest but I had quickly gotten back on my feet.
Once home, full of blood and sore I had quickly made my way to the shower. My injuries would only mark me as weak, so I prayed that Kuroba would not come in to check on me. After turning on the water as warm as I could handle, I had stripped from my torn and bloody clothing; tossing it to the floor as I had stepped under the shower.
Closing my eyes I had given out a small sigh, I didn't want to watch the blood drain from the shower floor; but I also didn't want to look at my wounds. Keeping my eyes closed, I let the blood fall from my body, whimpering as the water entered my wounds. I had to face it, I was weak and Kuroba knew that.
Entry XXV: "The Shivering Boy"
I can tell...She thinks she's weak...Well, try being afraid of lightning. The zap made me shiver, and I whimpered as quietly as I could...I curled up into a ball, as if I thought it would save me. I was supposed to be strong. Not afraid. I fell asleep later, and hadn't noticed Moon climb in next to me.
I was dreaming again. This wasn't me, though. This was Shadow...Mutsuki...Even Mother...They were shunning me for all my killing.
"My real brother wouldn't kill anyone!"
"Yeah! That's right!"
I had jolted awake, and punched the closest thing to me...Which happened to be a really thick pane of glass. My hand hurt a little, and I made the window rattle a little. Sheesh...Bulletproof glass or something. I said the closest thing on my mind…
"You're wrong!"
Entry XXVI: "Why Are You Awake?"
After my shower, I had made my way to the room and curled up next to Kuroba who was asleep. I know, I didn't put any clothes on but my wounds were sore. I laid there, awake and tired; shivering at the things that had been done to me at Shinra. I shivered at the thought of it and I could tell that he was possibly having a nightmare because before I knew it he had punched the window. It hadn't shattered but I had seen it rattle a little bit
I had shivered cuddling into him, whimpering as my wounds made contact with his body. I didn't care though, he made me feel safe; at least sometimes.
"Moon, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"Don't lie to me"
"I'm not, I'm just sore, that's all."
He had sighed, I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe me; but if he knew what happened he would go after them. At this point I just needed him here, not out looking to get hurt.
Entry XXVII: "I'm Not Hurt & Months Later"
Liars...I hate them. I didn't want to hurt Moon, though. Doing so would only prove that I'm no better than I was. Yeah, it's true. I'm a bad person...But not on the inside...I think...That on the inside, I'm just misunderstood. I lost my brother and sister...Not to mention my Mother. My father...Well. He's the stupidest jackass I've ever met. You want to know my father? Here's a hint: Zack Fair.
I can't stand to look at him. He's too stupid to even realize that he's missing out on Mother 'cause she's with the oh so "Great General of SOLDIER". Idiot. He's probably too busy nailing sixteen year old Cadets anyway…
-Months Later-
I've forgotten about this thing...So much has happened, I guess I can tell you. I had gotten Moon pregnant. So now, she's coming close to childbirth. Not too close, but close enough to prepare…
Entry XXVIII: "Kuroba, Moon, and Akagi"
Kuroba has calmed down a bit, that could be due to my pregnancy though. That's right, Kuroba and I are expecting a child. Lately I've been really tired but Kuroba is patient with me considering the circumstances.
I still haven't told him what happened at the Shinra building, I don't want to even remember what happened, so I keep it to myself as not to stress the child out. Kuroba seems sort of excited, and not long back he even asked me to marry him; I said yes of course. I wouldn't want our dear Akagi to have a split family; yes that's the baby's name. It's kind of funny to see him so protective of me though, he hasn't been like this in months so..
Entry XXIX: "Memories of the Past"
I was remembering things I've done one morning. It was lonesome, but that's only 'cause I took Moon to a woman named Lucrecia for "tests". I told both of them that either of them could call me when they were done.
So I sat to myself. I thought about things. Oh, yeah. The raven-haired Turk (not Tseng). I tried to kill her...Hey, she told me to try! After that...The long haired boy, the one with the gun. He claimed I tried to kill his "big sister". Well, I did. He rushed into an attack, but in the name of my self-defense, I stabbed him. But before either of them died, that man, Sephiroth interfered, and healed them. Made me recall everything! But a few words stood out to me..
"Oh, boy...Queen's gonna kill me…"
Queen...The girl, with long black hair. She was five foot five, and wielded a longsword. I remember everything...She explained "l'Cie" and "Agito" at one point. Agito...Supposed "saviors" who protect the world from destruction...Basically, saving the world. So if Agito is used to Shinra's advantage...I must destroy Agito...But how?
Entry XXX: "What's He Thinking About?"
Kuroba goes out a lot lately again, he always looks as if he's thinking about something but he never says what. Again he's started coming home full of blood and I have to keep Akagi from seeing him like that, she is just a child afterall. She seems more connected to him though, she always wants his attention….
Tonight I decided to go out before he could, I needed to speak with Aerith again I wanted to know why Kuroba hates his father so much. So I sat Akagi in Kuroba's lap and headed out. When I got to the church, Kuroba's brother and sister were there again.
"Why weren't you here last time! Kuroba got mad at me saying I lied to him"
"We're sorry, we're only able to stay in this world for so long"
"Well he thinks I lied.."
"We'll go see him soon."
Nodding I sighed heading to Aerith who was tending to the flowers before she looked up to greet me. She looked exhausted as if she hadn't slept in awhile but before I could ask she had fainted. I really didn't know what to do besides catch her and lay her on the ground.
Entry XXXI: "Noli Nomen Vocare" [Don't Call His Name]
What's taking Moon so long? She wasn't captured...I know that. I would've known. It would be obvious...At least, that's what I think. I hadn't bothered with it. I could've sworn they were behind me, Mutsuki and Shadow...It was chilling to think of that. But...I should really find a way to avoid making it obvious.
"Are you sure that's him…?"
"...I'm sure."
"He's not the same, then…"
"..."
"Hmm?"
"He doesn't have to be the same to be our brother...Kuroba."
I turned around. It was indeed a lie created by my mind...I hear voices sometimes.
"Ugh! Stop tormenting me!"
Indeed, there was only one thing I could do. Akagi decided to tag along, although...She didn't see me commit any violent act of torture or murder. I'm glad. I don't want to scar my daughter for life…
Entry XXXII: "He Certainly Does Seem Focused On Something"
It was getting late, Kuroba must be worried but I couldn't just leave his mother like this. So I stayed and continued looking after the woman, who by now was probably exhausted. I hope she'll explain everything to me when she wakes up, about why they can't stay in this world very long or about why Kuroba hates his father so much. Lately it seems he's focused on something but it's as if he's hiding the truth from me, I really don't know what to do. I just want peace for my family but because we are remnants are we unable to live at peace?
Eventually Kuroba's siblings had taken over care of their mother while I headed out, I needed some air and I needed to just clear my head. Hearing a slight crunch on the ground behind me I had drawn my blade preparing for any sign of an unexpected attack.
"What do you want? I know you're there"
I was met with silence as a chill ran through my spine. I must be hearing things I thought, why else would I be met with silence? A few moments later I had turned around to a blade against my throat.
Entry XXXIII: Poena Funesta Natus [Was Born An Ill-Fated Punishment]
When I eventually met up with Moon halfway home, she gave me a look that proved she was in trouble. I quickly sent a blade straight up to the attacker's blade.
"I'd suggest against that."
"Get out of my way, kid."
"Hmph."
Whoever it was, I was able to quickly best them. I eventually had them pinned down from my boot.
"Give up. You've lost."
I quickly dealt a 'mercy blow' when he tried otherwise, but I turned around when he died.
"Sorry you had to see that."
"I...It's fine."
"Let's go home."
I set my blade back in its scabbard, and grabbed her hand.
"Yeah. Of course."
The three of us went home, and once we were there, I sent Akagi to bed, and I carried Moon to bed. She fell asleep but I did not.
"..."
I was too busy thinking. Thinking about me. Who I really wanted to be and what I wanted to do. Of course, I wasn't selfish about it. But I didn't want to sleep…
Entry XXXIV: "How Long Have You Been Awake?"
I laid there, I knew he wasn't going to sleep; he wouldn't. I'd been in trouble and he again had to protect me… A lot of good learning to wield a blade has done… Unable to sleep I just cuddled into his side, silently listening to my surroundings; including his soft mutters.
Eventually I gave up and sighed, I couldn't sleep anyways so might as well just be awake. Kissing his cheek I had cuddled closer to him and held onto him. He was shivering but I knew I probably wouldn't be able to warm him up any.
"Kuroba.. What's wrong?"
Silence again… what was with everyone and being silent?
Entry XXXV: "You're Not Yet Ready To Know"
I remained quiet. Eventually, she just gave up and went to sleep...Oh, well. I remained awake. Something was gnawing at me. But I don't know what. All I knew was...Moon wasn't ready to know. And...Neither was I.
Eventually, morning came, and I went out. I was more or less determined to find out. But everywhere I went, it was just something that had to do with the Shinra. Wutai, the Mansion...Junon, Midgar, the Sister Ray...What did that mean? I eventually sighed, and climbed into the barrel of the Sister Ray. What I found...Well, it's hard to explain. But...In other words, it was Rufus Shinra's old double-barrelled shotgun and a bunch of Materia…
But what does that mean?
Entry XXXVI: "A Shotgun?"
I woke up to Kuroba being nowhere in sight, it kind of made me nervous after the night that I had before. Getting up I had made my way to the kitchen I had checked on Akagi as I passed her room, she was still sound asleep.
I'll admit it kinda scared me without Kuroba at the house but I went on with my normal day as I usually do.
After awhile I had gone out to train, making sure of course that there was no one around the house, if I was going to keep myself and Akagi safe practice would be the only thing I could do. I didn't know when Kuroba would return home so I kept myself on high alert, even though in the end nothing happened. I did however get a good day's worth of training done though. As I entered the kitchen Kuroba was still nowhere in sight, I wonder where he went.
Entry XXXVII: "Someone to Protect"
I headed home, with the 'relics' in hand. I was very curious as to how the weapon and Materia found its way into the Cannon. I quietly opened the door, to quickly have Moon jump onto my back. I let my guard down, but this isn't real combat.
"Well, hello to you too."
She was practicing. Her form still needed a lot of work, so I agreed to help her. Her form was easily broken through, and lots of openings and easily broken defense. I noticed that her form was far off from anything I could use. She was learned more of my Father's form, and picked up a little of Genesis Rhapsodos' form. She combined them. My form? My form is a combination of Sephiroth, and much to my dismay, a few forms of Kadaj's. I've adapted to nearly all style of blade combat: Single, Dual Wield, Reverse-Grip Single, Reverse-Grip Dual Wield, 'Normal' Grip & Reverse Dual Wield, you get it. I don't need to go over that, do I? I'd prefer not to teach the 'flunkies' how to wield a blade, damn it. Shadow failed so miserably with 'long' blades, yet he carries a naginata for a 'backup' weapon. I guess a dagger doesn't help you everywhere, I mean, I have my knives. As for Mutsuki, she's the oddball. She only carries her gun around, visibly showing it off. It wasn't a present from our jackass Father, but she treats it as such. She not only oils the moving parts nearly every day, but she can disassemble her gun with her eyes closed. How, I have no fucking clue whatsoever. Like, seriously. She takes every little thing apart of the gun, and reassemble it, again, with her eyes closed. Maybe I should let her tinker with some of the guns I've collected off dead soldiers…
Entry XXXVIII: "It's Just Natural Talent"
I was pretty eager to learn from Kuroba, i mean I haven't really had any training and father's way of combat just isn't for me. I quickly jumped off his back as he told me he'd help with my training, I couldn't help but be excited. Standing my ground, I had given a playful growl as if telling Kuroba I was ready for anything he could throw at me; I really wasn't though so I hoped he'd take it easy at first.
He had swung his blade, as I nearly didn't make it out of the way; a small cut along my cheek as I stood back up.
"That all you got Kuro?"
As if taunting him I had given a small jump and readied myself to strike until he had easily thrown me aside. It was obvious I was no good at this…
Laying there, I whimpered slightly from the small pain in my side but I quickly got up ignoring the pain.
"Let's go again"
Entry XXXIX: "Fine By Me"
She wants to go again? Oh, fine. Again and again, I kept gaining the upper hand until she was exhausted.
"Try again."
"You're impossible to beat!"
"That's what you seem to think."
I chuckled. Moon can barely hold her own against me. Maybe she'd have more of a chance with me letting Mutsuki borrow one of my blades and having her and Shadow fight alongside each other. Well, I'd always win the 'war' games between my siblings. Now that I hardly play their games, Mutsuki usually always wins now. Not like I care, Mutsuki could never win against me in the first place. Her combat and my combat are too different.
As if that matters now, though. I don't play their games anymore because one, I've been lacking out on joining them ever since we got taken away, and two, the game doesn't interest me anymore…
Entry XL: "Shadow and Mutsuki's Game of 'War' (Brother Won't Play)"
I had been practicing my fighting with Shadow when Kuroba appeared a bit in the distance. This was a bit odd considering he hadn't been around since the first time Moonpaw spoke of us, so why now? Was he finally believing her?
Setting my blade aside, I looked over motioning for Shadow to step down for a moment so we could see what Kuroba wanted. We waited a moment until Kuroba approached us to allow him to speak.
"Kuroba, what brings you here? We haven't seen you since we came back so why now?"
"I have my reasons, perhaps I wanted to see you"
"Any other reasons?"
"Perhaps"
He really isn't the type to talk much is he, he's barely said anything at all. I don't really remember him being like this when we were kids. I wonder what happened to him but I won't ask unless he wants to tell me. Hopefully Shadow won't be stupid and just plainly ask, that would just start a fight I think.
Entry XLI: "Kyoumi Nai Ne" (Not Interested)
And then, suddenly, Shadow insisted that I 'play'. I kept telling him I wasn't interested. That didn't work.
"Please?"
"No."
"C'mon! You never play!"
"...Shut up, Mutsuki."
Eventually, I got sick of the two asking. I picked up my blade, and I unleashed a 'brutal' onslaught onto Shadow. Neither his dagger nor naginata could stand the power of my swift blade, as they fell away, completely 'ripped' from his hands. I gave a painless stab in the back, and now he was defeated. Mutsuki tried very hard to beat me, but I moved too quick for her gun to actually hit anything but the trees and ground. She was no match for my blade, so she holstered her gun, and took Shadow's naginata from the ground.
"H-Hey! That's mine, Mutsuki!"
"I know, I'm just borrowing it!"
I lept over her head. She was distracted by Shadow's banter. I tried to strike, but she gave a poor defense. This wasn't her weapon. I took her gun within an instant, and fired off all of the rounds, so that way, she couldn't try and gain the upper hand. Eventually, I gained the high ground, and the advantage.
"It's over, Mutsuki. I have the high ground."
She tried it anyway. I was quick to make a strike that would let me win, and the two were fine anyway. All of these wounds they let me give them will heal.
"I win. Now, then. I'm NOT playing, do you two understand?!"
They spoke at the same time.
"Yes, Brother…"
This 'playtime' makes this my three hundred seventy-seventh victory. Yeah, we played this silly 'game' a lot as kids. I found a stone slab. From memory, I wrote the numbers of victories the two had, with ALL three of 'playing'. It went "Kuroba: CCCLXXVII (Three hundred seventy-seven)", "Mutsuki: LXII (Sixty-two)", and finally, "Shadow: LXI (Sixty-one)". This makes it five hundred times we've played the game. Mutsuki and Shadow only won these games when they were lucky.
Entry XLII: "Mother's 'Test' of Imagination"
Mother called for me back at the church a few days after I won the five hundredth game of 'war'. I did what I always did, and headed there. I may as well, there's nothing wrong with it. Once I arrived, and shut the door behind me, I saw Mother poke her head up from her flowers.
"You came!"
"I always do, Mother."
I wasn't being entirely honest with that, but I didn't care. She had me sit down, so I did.
"I wanted to try something."
I stared at her. I was a little confused of Mother's words.
"What?"
"Kuroba. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the color...Green?"
Green, huh?
"The Lifestream."
"What about...white?"
"Emptiness."
Mother took a second to comprehend my answer.
"How about...turquoise?"
"...The sky."
Mother thought for a moment. There's a lot of colors, surely she's not going to keep doing this for too long.
"What about yellow?"
"..."
"It's alright, tell me."
"...Electricity…... "
That should've been far too obvious.
"What about blue?"
"I...I don't know."
"C'mon, think of something!"
"The ocean. The ocean, Mother."
"What about black?"
"The night sky."
"Well, then...Kuroba, what about gray?"
"Jenova Project...No...My sword."
"Hmm...What about red?"
"Blood."
I didn't ever expect her to pull anything more.
"What about purple?"
"When I think of purple...The first thing that comes to my mind is...MoonPaw."
Entry XLIII: "Good Night, 'Till Tomorrow"
In case you're wondering why I just keep writing, instead of letting Moon or my siblings write, well, that's just 'cause I want to. These tortured arms wish to carry on my story. So people know what they did to me. Shinra must fall, and my journals have been the proof to show it.
Honestly, I don't care how it ends, I just want justice for their actions. I don't care how many more people have to die!
Kuroba Mikazuki - Good night, 'till tomorrow.
Entry XLIV: "The Shadow of Fear and Power"
It's been strange, Kuroba barely comes home lately; I don't know what to do. When he does come home he's always got this almost eerie facial expression; I really wish there was something I could do to help. Perhaps it's time I seek out the one he calls his father.. Not that he'd tell me the man's name … I guess the only way to know is to go back where it all started…. Back to Shinra.. But he'd never let me do that, I'll have to find a way without him knowing..
Entry XLV: "Dawn of a New Day"
What? I've been trying. It's not easy at all. I went home. Moon left me a note, she said she went to the Church. Well, fine. She can go. I'll wait, she's perfectly capable of killing someone if they try to catch her. I lied back, and without warning, Akagi jumped on me.
"Hey!"
I wasn't angry at her, but it was seriously uncalled for. She seemed to not care, but she moved.
"Waiting for Mother?"
I mumbled "It's too late to wait for my Mother" but I nodded. I knew who she was talking about, and nevertheless, Akagi didn't hear me. That's probably for the best.
Akagi and I waited for Moon, and little had I known, Moon was trying to learn about my jackass Father…
Entry XLVI: "Zack Fair"
It was just another day. I woke up, obviously, I was next to Aerith. I ruffled my hand through her hair, somehow, she was still asleep. I put on my black SOLDIER First Class uniform...At least the top, and the pauldrons, if I might add. I set the Buster Sword on my back, and I smiled as I set out. I watched Cloud pass by the church, he must be doing his rounds. I mean, he is a delivery-boy, after all. But on the inside, Cloud's a seasoned warrior. He might just be better than I am.
Either way, what was out of the ordinary was a purple haired girl running to the Church. I thought it was Mutsuki, but I soon learned better once I saw her eyes. I knew it wasn't Mutsuki by her different colored eyes. She asked to see Aerith, so I told her that she was still asleep. She frowned.
"Did you have something in mind? I mean, I can try to answer any questions you have for Aerith."
"Well, I...I'm trying to learn about Kuroba's father."
Kuroba. I recognized the name. Aerith named him herself. But I wanted to make sure.
"Kuroba...Mikazuki?"
"Yeah! Him."
"Well, you don't have to learn about his Father."
"And why not?"
"Because, I am Kuroba's Father, even if he doesn't like me."
"You...You're Kuroba's father?"
"I sure am."
We talked for a while. I let her hold the Buster Sword. I joked that it must've been like lifting a one-pound dumbbell. Sure, it's no different for me, but the sword itself is heavy. She told me she liked the color purple.
"Purple, huh? Maybe I'll have to give you one of my spare SOLDIER Second Class uniforms. They're purple."
"I thought that the Second Class SOLDIERs wore red?"
"I wanted to stand out."
"I see."
I asked what her name was. She told me that she was MoonPaw, but told me I could call her Moon, if I wanted. She seemed rather excited to have my Second Class uniform. Perhaps it's because it's a relic of history, or maybe it's just the color. Either way, it doesn't matter.
I looked back and found Aerith tending to her flowers. I told Moon that she could go see Aerith now, and she happily did. Aerith and I spoke within each other's minds, so I told her that if she knew where my Second Class uniform and SOLDIER sword was, that she could give them to Moon. I continued on. Shadow decided to tag along, which kinda surprised me. He never usually wants to go places with me, but he's the same with Aerith, so I suppose it's alright.
Honestly, Shadow reminds me of myself, but...If anything, he and I are so much different. Anyway, I stopped at a couple of places. First was Seventh Heaven, so I decided to have a drink. I asked for a small glass of whiskey, and Tifa nodded to me. I waited patiently, and Shadow was hiding behind my back. I chuckled a little. But, without warning, Shadow whispered in my ear, asking if he, too, could have a drink. I nodded to him, and he pointed to the drink he wanted. I asked for another small glass, this time, with Shadow's choice. I took a sip, and Shadow did too.
Shadow gagged at first, but once he got used to it, he stopped gagging. After we were done, the second place to stop was just a place where I'd usually go to train. It's always empty, so Shadow wasn't so shy. I started with my squats.
"Father, do you always do that?"
"Well, before I train, yes, I do."
"Oh, I see."
After I finished my squats, I got straight to work with training. Shadow trained on his own. I guess he's just practicing to beat Mutsuki at their game of war. But that's fine. As long as he tries, then I won't stop him. Eventually, I felt a familiar presence. I turned to where I felt the presence, and with a 'booming' voice, I called out the person's name.
"Kuroba!"
He stopped.
"Shut the hell up."
"Get over here, now!"
"Father, leave me alone!"
I shouldn't push my luck. One of his throwing knives whizzed by my head, and gravity made it drop and land right next to Shadow's head. Shadow let out a gasp, and stepped back. I mumbled "Have it your way, then" and sighed.
"Shadow...What'd I do to deserve him to not like me?"
"I...don't know, Father."
I shook my head. Kuroba continued to walk. I took the knife and held it in my hand. I can't throw these things very well, so I said something to get his attention.
"You left your knife!"
The knife suddenly dematerialized in my hand, and completely disappeared. It was back in Kuroba's hands. I could hear Kuroba scoffing. I sighed. What did I do to deserve his hatred?
Entry XLVII: "Rekindle the Flame in Your Soul and Set You Free"
It was kind of a surprise to meet Kuroba's father, I mean Kuroba never really spoke of him but he really didn't seem that bad; I wonder what happened. We talked a lot, he told me about how he was in SOLDIER and he let me hold his sword. It was fairly light, even if it looked heavy; that's what I get for being a remnant.
After a while though he motioned to me that Aerith was awake, so I went to talk to her while Zack headed off with Shadow; Kuroba's brother. When I got there, Aerith was tending to her flowers inside the church.
"Aerith, can I ask you something?"
"Of course Moon, what is it?"
"It's about Zack… and Kuroba. What happened between them?"
"Well.. Moon it's a long story, are you sure you have the time to listen? I wouldn't want Kuroba worrying about you."
"He doesn't come home much lately…"
A long pause before the woman had taken a breath.
"Kuroba, I know you are there, you don't have to hide son"
Looking over, I shivered a bit; he wasn't supposed to know I was here; especially considering the question I'd just asked Aerith. Hopefully he hadn't heard.
Entry XLVIII: "Ignoring Mother"
I ignored Mother. I wasn't interested in their conversation. I gestured at Moon, to say "See you when you get home". I went home, but I opened the door. Clearly, Mother wanted to play mind games. There was nothing to look at but empty space. I stared into it, and soon, I found myself surrounded by black and white and green and blue. Where…?
"I see you've found yourself at home."
Mother? Fine. Play this game. I kept my back to her.
"Come home?"
I didn't answer. I can't.
"Please?"
Finally, I answered her.
"You know I can't."
The vision ended. I was back home. I stared behind me. Akagi was carefully watching.
"Why were you...talking to yourself?"
"I wasn't."
"If you say so."
I shook my head. I seemed to be Akagi's favorite person in the whole world. What? Who's my favorite person? I...don't honestly know.
Entry XLIX: "Honesty"
I sat with Aerith for awhile while she taught me more about Zack but she couldn't tell me why Kuroba hated him. She only told me that I'd have to ask Kuroba myself, which was a lost cause considering I knew Kuroba wouldn't tell me. It was night when I returned home, Akagi had already been put to bed and Kuroba was nowhere to be found.
"Kuroba?"
Silence, I had gotten used to this feeling all too well lately; it was as if he and I had never existed to each other. Sitting in the kitchen I held my head to my hands, slight whimpers escaping my lips. Why? Why me …
Entry L: "It's Not Me, And It's Not You"
I swear, Moon's going crazy. I was well there, but she didn't bother looking.
"Hey! Quit whimpering, I'm here!"
Moon stopped for a moment. Then ran to the 'secondary' living room (yeah, there's two living rooms...Don't ask me why).
"Oh!"
From what I understood, something reeked of that jackass. Probably the SOLDIER uniform or something, must've rubbed off on her. I had no idea Zack gave her anything, but I wasn't too worried.
Besides, with Akagi well off to sleep, I didn't need to worry. If I woke Akagi by getting angry, then...Moon would just go, probably with her.
So that's why I didn't ask any questions. I'm trying to reduce my overall stress.
Entry LI: "There You Are!"
I heard his voice, but I felt like I couldn't see him. It had been so long since he'd been home it was as if the walls were talking to me.
"Kuroba? I.. Is it really you?"
I looked around, wondering why there was so much anger in the air. Had I done something to make him angry, or perhaps it was because I'd gone to his mother behind his back but it was the only way. I knew he wouldn't tell me, what else was I to do?
"I want the truth Kuroba… all of it"
Silence, I stood there waiting for an answer I knew I probably wouldn't get.
Entry LII: "Almost the End"
Maybe it's not finished yet. Maybe there's something I need to do. But, I won't let down on Shinra. Not until Rufus and the entire company itself are destroyed. I will fight for my freedom, to break away from the chains of their lies and excuses. My freedom, and Moon's matters to me. I want a proper place to live, a peaceful place, if I'm going to remain on this forsaken rock of a Planet. I guess this Planet has had it's fair share of suffering. With Jenova arriving here, over two thousand years ago. And with Sephiroth casting Meteor, the Lifestream surging from the Planet to stop it, and so on. The Stigma especially. I suppose that's just fate, for the Planet to suffer.
I don't intend to kill everyone in my path. Just those who get in my way. I know the innocent from the guilty. I don't feel sorry for anyone, but I know there are people, who, like me, have lost their homes for one reason or another. I can't stop that, and I don't want to try either. And that's just how it is. Once Shinra is gone, I can finally kick back and rest…
I'm tired, now. I want the suffering and conflicts to stop, and more importantly, I'm trying to keep myself from becoming the lowest slime of this Earth. I dug a deep hole already, but I'm out of it now. Once Shinra's gone…
"I can finally rest." - Signed, Kuroba Mikazuki (黒羽 三日月)