Title: Love Lies Bleeding
Rating: T
Notes: Originally posted to the SentinelAngst List a long time ago. I've reworked things to give it a home here. I was inspired by the chorus of Fuel's song "Hemorrhage".
Warnings: I've left things a bit open-ended. This could be taken as a death story, but only if your the glass half-empty type. :-)
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to Pet Fly, etc. "Hemorrhage" lyrics also do not belong to me.
"Hemorrhage" chorus is as follows:
don't fall away / and leave me to myself / don't fall away / and leave love bleeding in my hands / in my hands again / leave love bleeding in my hands / in my hands / love lies bleeding /
Love Lies Bleeding
Dim light tried to invade the blackness that surrounded Blair. Half-formed thoughts chased their way around between his two ringing ears, but they always managed to avoid capture. The only way he found to express himself was the groan that escaped his lips.
Sentinel hearing was the first thing to come on line for Jim, long before anything else started working. Somewhere in the darkness that he swam in, he knew he needed to wake up. Soon.
Blair managed to push away the haze enough to know everything was wrong. What the hell happened? He was on his back on the cold floor, his body unwilling to move just yet.
"Jim? Jim, where are you?" Though only a whisper, the soft words were a good start. And it should have been enough for Jim to hear, but there was no answer. Where are you, Jim? I can't think straight. Are we still in the cabin? Why is it so dark? I really need you, man. I don't know what to do.
"Blair." Jim's hoarse voice cut through silence.
A surge of adrenaline enabled Blair's body to finally obey his frantic orders - stop fucking around and MOVE!
"Jim! Jim! Where are you, man? I can't- aghh, damn that hurts!" Sharp pain assaulted Blair as he moved, radiating from his left foot up to his knee. This joined the chorus of pain in his head, causing bile to rise in his throat. Keep it together, man. Focus on finding Jim. Adrenaline yielded to the pain and Blair couldn't get much farther than rolling onto his side and searching his surroundings with his arms.
"Jim, I can't see you. Hell, I can't see much of anything."
No answer.
"Are you all right? Are you hurt? That's probably a dumb question. Of course you're hurt. Otherwise you'd be hovering over me like a mother hen." Blair paused, trying to listen. "This is the part where you're supposed to tell me to stop rambling. Jim, please talk to me."
Jim's other senses were slowly coming alive after being dulled by a suffocating blanket of darkness. Blair? I can hear you. Keep talking, Blair. I need you to keep talking.
Smell decided to come forth.
Dust... and smoke? God, Chief, how am I suppose to sort through this? Wood and ashes. Food from the kitchen. Mostly dust. Is that blood? Please be all right, Chief. I'd never forgive myself if...
Then taste.
It's my own blood. Bitter.
Sight followed.
Everything is so hazy.There is light somewhere, though. What I wouldn't give to see your face right now, Chief. I see something...is that...
Touch came and punched him right in the face.
Oh, shit... Every nerve ending in Jim's body came alive. For a few moments all he could feel was intense pain. There was no origin or ending, just a complete blanket of hurt. He didn't have enough control to stop the strangled scream that forced its way through his lips.
Blair's heart broke at the sound. The cry came from a few feet to his right. "I'm here, Jim. I'm right here." Now with a direction and a goal Blair forced himself to his stomach and began to crawl arm over arm toward the sound, ignoring his aching body, hoping to get a better idea of where Jim was.
Jim's breaths began to come in heaving gasps as he fought for control over the pain. He knew that Blair had said something but couldn't quite make it out. I need to get it together for Blair. Find some control. If I'm hurt, he must be hurt. Jim followed Blair's voice as best he could out of the pain and into a place where he could speak.
"Chief," Jim gasped, "what happened?"
"Jim, oh thank God. I don't know what happened. The last thing I remember is standing in the kitchen of the cabin talking to you. Are you okay? Where are you hurt?"
Jim knew that forming more words would take more energy. A sense of weakness was tugging at him from the inside. So strange. His breaths were coming slower now. "Everywhere," he finally said.
Panic arose in Blair. Jim's tired voice spurred him to keeping moving. Pain in his leg and head was starting to take its toll on his already sluggish movements. Damn it.
"Can you be a bit more specific, Jim? I'm trying to get to you, just keep talking, man."
Blair's voice was helping Jim think more clearly. You want more specific Chief? Where is the freakin' pain dial? There it is. Damn, it's high. Down one notch. Another one. Jim wrestled with the dial but it was like his hands kept slipping off.
"My head hurts." He paused. "But not... but not as much as... my side... and legs." Another pause for a breath that didn't seem to be enough. "I think my shoulder... it's...wrong. Something... I think... I..." That was all he could give for the moment.
"Just breathe, Jim. I'm getting closer." Blair encountered what felt like beams of wood blocking his way to Jim. Squinting into the haze, his eyes were adjusting more to the dim light and he looked around again. He could barely recognize what was once a traditional looking cabin. Now wood and rubble littered the floor. Pale moonlight made its way into the space through a missing section of the wall. Blair pushed himself over a wooden beam, dragging his legs behind him until he was on the other side, burying his face in his arms to keep from crying out. Something must have hit my leg hard. Jim first. I have to get to Jim. Just get to Jim, that's all you gotta do. Then everything will be all right. Using his arms to support him, he once again got his shoulders off the ground and started moving. Jim's head and upper body became visible in the darkness.
"Chief, I think…I'm trapped….under…."
"I see you. I see you now, Jim. You've got a pile of stuff on you. Just hold on, keep talking. I'll be there in just a second."
"You're hurt?"
"I'll be fine. Can you move your legs at all?" Blair was finally close enough to stretch out an arm and touch Jim. The contact grounded the Sentinel and relieved Blair.
"Not really. Hurts."
One last heave and Blair was able to sit up by Jim's left side. "I'm here. I've got you now."
Now able to get a closer look at Jim, Blair was shocked at what he saw. Lying flat on his back, Jim's pale skin was a stark contrast against the bright red blood that covered most of his face. Small cuts littered his body, visible through his light jacket and t-shirt. His right arm was oddly twisted and trapped between his back and the floor. Below chest level, Jim's body disappeared beneath what appeared to be a section of the wall.
"I'm sorry, Chief." Jim's mumbled words were barely audible.
"What? Sorry for what, Jim? There's nothing to be sorry for."
"The package..."
It took a moment for Blair to understand what Jim was trying to say. Everything snapped violently back into focus. The whole reason they were in this mess.
"There was a box in the kitchen when we came back from our walk. After dinner. I, uh, I remember." The words rushed out of Blair. "We thought Simon must have arrived while we were out. You stopped. Like you heard something. You pushed me out of the room. You tried to protect me. I remember, Jim. I remember." Blair was relieved to that something was finally making sense. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Jim. You couldn't have known what it was."
"Should have...sooner." The last word came out almost like resignation. Like giving up.
"NO! Don't start that. Simon should still be on his way. He was planning on meeting us out here tonight to go fishing tomorrow. He knows where we are. You're going to be fine."
"I don't...feel so good...Chief." Jim was struggling to get the breath he needed.
"I'm going to get you out of here, Jim. Keep still, I'll try and clear some of this off of you."
"Don't...leave." Jim's eyes widened at the possibility of Blair leaving his sight and taking away his touch.
"I'm not leaving. I'll just be right here at your legs, trying to get you free. Just hang on, Jim." Blair scooted himself closer and began to gently clear away what he could. Pieces of wall, the table, and other things were scattered. A section of wall was collapsed right onto Jim's lower body.
"Jim, can you feel my hands?" Blair was reaching under the debris as far as he could, touching Jim's legs.
"Yeah, a little."
Blair said a silent prayer of thanks in his head. "Jim, where does it hurt? You gotta keep talking to me, I don't know what-"
"Side," Jim interrupted, "my side."
Blair's eyes scanned as far as the rubble and light would let him. I can't see what you're talking about. It must be internal. Simon, please hurry. "Jim, I'm going to lean over you and try and get some debris off of you, okay? Let me know what hurts."
Blair slowly pulled pieces of wood off of Jim's chest and stomach. Jim moaned when Blair put his hands on Jim's lower right side, above his belt.
"Jim, what is it? Is that what you were talking about?"
"Back." Jim's gasped, his voice getting weaker. "Hurts." But don't worry, Chief, I think it's feeling better already. Not feeling so much anymore.
Fear grew in Blair's mind. Something's wrong. What am I missing? I can't see your back. What if you're lying on something that's hurting you? I don't want to risk moving you. "Jim, I'm going to reach around to your back as far as I can. Keep talking to me, Jim. Tell me how many fish you plan on catching tomorrow. Twenty? I know you cheat and use your senses, don't try and fool me."
Blair thought he saw a slight grin on Jim's face. Probably a grimace from the pain. As gently as he could, Blair leaned over Jim and inched his fingers past his side and around to his back. Where Jim's side met the floor, Blair lifted slightly and probed as far as he could. He felt a sticky wetness and then his hand hit something solid and cold. He traced it from Jim's back to the floor where it was embedded. Blair tried not let the panic on his face show.
"Chief, what's wrong? Your...heartbeat."
Shit. Blair should have known Jim would be listening to his heartbeat. Blair brought his hand back and found it covered in blood. Way too much blood.
"Jim, I think you landed on something, and it's, well." Blair took a deep breath. "I think you're stuck on it."
Jim's focus on Blair's face did not waver. "No time...left." I'm so sorry.
"Don't even start that." Blair felt his face flush and tears form behind his eyes. Just the thought of Jim...no, he couldn't think that. Shit. Stop it, man. Don't panic. Desperately, Blair tried to reach across Jim and stop the bleeding as best he could.
"You...have to know...you..." Jim's eyes started to close.
"Jim, Simon will be here any minute. Just a little bit longer, then you can sleep, but you got to stay awake for me, Jim. Open your eyes, damn it!" Blair was shouting. How did it get this bad this fast? I should have found it sooner, could have stopped the bleeding...
"Chief..." Jim's eyes fluttered open. "Simon. Car." You'll be fine. You'll make it.
"Thank God. See, Jim, just a few more minutes." Blair looked into the blue eyes he had seen almost every day for the past two years. The intensity that was once there, the intensity that he had come to know and admire, was gone - replaced by a dull look that frightened Blair.
"Too late," Jim whispered.
"No."
"Too late."
Though Jim's voice was soft, it was deafening to Blair. He didn't try and stop the tears. Not knowing what else to do, he put his head on Jim's chest. His curls spilled over and surrounded Jim's face. He listened. A strange smile tugged at one corner of his mouth.
"Jim. I can hear your heartbeat."
"Chief..."
"I know, Jim. I know. Don't talk now. Just rest." Blair placed one hand near where his cheek was resting on Jim.
Sirens and voices tried to creep their way through the surrounding emotions.
"Blair..."
"It's almost over, Jim." Blair held his next breath, feeling with his hand and searching in the silence for the next beat.
"You keep listening to my heartbeat, and I'll keep listening to yours."
The End
Please review! I would love to know what you thought. Yes, you. Any suggestions (especially writing tips) are most welcome!