I don't own anything... unfortunately everything belongs to ABC Shonda and co. I'm not making a dime with this, or intend to... I'm just doing this for fun. Rated for everybody of all ages who are pissed at Derek like I am.
My Hands Up lyrics by Trespassers William.
Turning into something I can't cope
With not having
Stop, stop it
Could I put my hands up
And ask that you stop
Do I need to be in love
I'm lost when it's just me
With only a hope to make
You happy enough to stay
Return the words, the looks
I give you like they're falling out of me
Seconds change
And at the end
Your face is inerasable
True, I need to be in love
I'm lost when it's just me
With only a hope to make
You happy enough
Do I need to be in love
What is there otherwise from loving
Just takes a face
To make everything else erase
Stop, stop it
Could I put my hands up
And ask that you stop
"I just... I can't get it... I mean... what was I suppose to do? Ever since we got together she kept casting me aside... she was just pushing me... and pushing me... as if I was nothing to her... She didn't need me... She didn't need me for anything that doesn't involve sex... I mean don't get me wrong, the sex is good... the sex is more than good... I like the sex... I enjoy the sex... It was the only part of the relationship that worked... actually I don't think there is a single place in Seattle grace that we didn't christen... on-call rooms... linen closets... the scrub room... we even did it once in her car... one late night on the parking lot... oh... and the bendy thing in the shower... I love the bendy thing... remind me to show you that, one day... " He said with a goofy grin, loosing his eyes in the distance, filled with a pleasant remembrance...
"Ok... I think I'll need liquor... lots of it."
"I mean... was it too much to ask? I told her she was the love of my life... you know... of my ENTIRE LIFE... and what she does next? She stand's up in the middle of a church... and calls it off in front of a bunch of wedding guests... I mean it was more than clear that she didn't wanted a relationship with ME..." He said incredulous pointing to himself with both hands.
"Wow! You really like yourself... Huh?"
"No... seriously... she was just using me as a sex-toy... I shouldn't agree... to the S&M thing... I should know better..."
"The what?"
"Sex and Mockery."
"Oh"
"I should've said NO... right from the start... but it's just... how can you refuse the most mind blowing sex you've ever had in your life... Frankly I don't believe I'll ever have that kind of sex with anybody else. I never had it with my ex-wife and we were together for 11 years..."
"Right..."
"And I know the sex is a very important part of a relationship... I'm a very sexual man... I love a good fuck... but what about the other part... the trust... and the love part... I mean... and there she was kicking me out of her bed in the middle of the night right after her fifth orgasm... that was just rude... She's just so confusing... she needs to make up her mind... One minute she comes and tells me she doesn't want me dating other people... and the next minute she's looking for excuses to call it off... She had no right to get upset about the kiss thing... a good kiss by the way... I enjoy the kiss... but still... she had no right at all... we weren't together... WE were dating other people... well maybe it was just me the one dating other people... but I was entitled because of the S&M thing... and you know what she said to me?"
We were together. I was in love with you. You didn't tell me you were married!
"What?"
"She brings up again... the Addy stuff... I mean... haven't we had that argument way too many times" He said to himself trying to recall, exactly how many times they have had that argument... "Well... at least I'm pretty sure we did... There was the time where Addy showed up... that's one... The time where I didn't sign the divorce papers... that's two... Oh and the time right before we had the prom sex... that's three... I mean isn't that enough? Why would she had to bring it up again? When we are obviously a long road away from it... I said I was sorry, and that was the end of it..."
I told you I wanted to marry you. I wanted to build a house, build a life with you, but you weren't ready.
"Uhm Derek."
"No really... I had a whole life planned out with her... there was the house... in a great spot in my land... with a great view... with the white picket fences and French doors and all... and the smart beautiful children we were going to have... A boy and a girl... Louis Patrick and Jessica Marie Grey Shepherd... I had the plans for the house drawn out for months... but then the almost wedding happened... I GAVE UP Chief for her... and then the S&M thing... I told her I wanted to MARRY her... I told her I wanted to build us a house... and have kids with her... But NO... no... no... she was NOT ready... as always..."
So yesterday you're making out with scrub nurses and today you're building our dream house?
"How dares she... to put up the blame on me... I'm not the one to blame for her trust issues... she can't trust anybody... except for Christina, and... maybe Alex... and George... and Izzie... and the Chief... and probably Miranda too... ughh... it's just so frustrating..." He chuckled sarcastically to himself ...
You didn't tell me about your nurse. You want to know why I'm not ready to build a house with you? This is why, because I can not trust you.
"She doesn't trust me because I didn't tell her about the kiss... there was nothing to tell... It didn't mean anything... it was just ONE KISS you said so yourself... right? Although it was a very... very... good kiss... more than good I'd say... I knew the minute I throw her the house plans, she would find an excuse to run away... and what's the excuse now?"
You can't trust anybody. And no matter what I do, you're always going to look for reasons not to trust me. I can't do it anymore.
"Let me guess... The kiss."
"Exactly... I mean... am I right or am I right? Have I mentioned how good that kiss was? Coz' I mean wow... Loved the kiss."
"Ok... you know what... this was a mistake..."
An infuriated Rose said as she stood up... putting her cloth napkin on top of the... very elegantly decorated, candle light table, purposefully placed on a very secluded corner of the fancy restaurant, right in front of an outside balcony... showing a great sight of the city at night... The space needle looked better than ever.
"Woah... woah... where are you going? We... we are still waiting for the main course... Aren't you trying the duck?"
"Good night Derek."
Rose started walking toward the exit of the restaurant, as Derek ran after her...
"Rose... wait... please... Rose... don't leave..."
The waiter's captain practically tackled him in for the bill.
"Dr. Shepherd! I'm sorry Sr. but I can't let you leave the restaurant if you haven't paid. Restaurant's policy Sr."
Derek took out his credit card and threw it at the captain, as he kept running towards the exit of the restaurant...
He got outside and turned his head to both sides of the street trying to descry the shape of her body in the middle of the walking crowd crossing him back... and forth... right and left... He finally got a glimpse of her... right across the street, and started walking through it... Not even waiting till the light got red... trying to avoid geting hit by a car... being welcomed for his actions by a herd of horns... he finally got across the life threatening street and ran after a fast walking Rose.
"Rose... wait..."
She finally stopped walking and turned around abruptly with a furious expression on her face.
"Am I missing something here?"He cluelessly stated.
"Apparently."
"I thought we were having fun... I was hoping to get another very... very good kiss by the end of the evening."
"I don't think so... plus it wasn't that good Derek... it was kind of forced and awkward... and you know it... but I thought... 'Hey! It doesn't matter... the guy is to gorgeous to let the opportunity pass by.' I mean I don't know anybody inside the hospital, insane enough to let that opportunity go away, so... whatever..."
"But you said... you said you liked it... you lied...?"
"Get over it Derek... what was I supposed to say...? 'The kiss was hideous' Plus... you lied too... you've keep repeating and repeating... how great the kiss was, when in fact it's quite the opposite... so we are even... bye Derek."
She said turning around and walking away from him...
"That's it... don't you think I deserve some sort of explanation...? I mean... seriously... what did I do wrong?"
I'm Dr. McDreamy...
"Ok" She said turning around again... "I knew you had a God complex but I didn't thought it was that serious... We shared ONE lousy kiss in the scrub room... You asked me out... I thought it was weird since 20 minutes before you were supposedly seeing someone... but I thought... 'What the heck! I like the guy!' But Derek...! You asked me out right after showing the house plans to the woman you were intending to spend the rest of you life with... Seriously? Who the hell do you think I am? A consolation price or something... I mean... how can you love someone enough to wanna built a life with her... and ask someone out 10 minutes later...? Frankly I am offended by it... Don't you know how to be alone...? Do you have to jump to a relationship right after the supposed "love of your life" dumped you...? I'm not surprised she did... good for her... If you ask me she should've done that... a long time ago... One of the great advantages of being an invisible nurse, is that I notice a lot of things and nobody notice that I noticed... I know all about you, and Meredith Grey... I was there at Joe's... the night she excruciatingly waited for you to show up, and choose her... that was just sooo painful to watch... I was so surprised when she took you back after what I witnessed... there is no way I would've took a man back after such a high treason... frankly I don't think I could ever trust again, a man who lied about something as elemental as that... You bring nothing into the table except for that dreamy smile, a gorgeous hair, and that hot piece of ass of yours..." She chuckled sarcastically... "You're so damn stupid... Leave me alone please."
"But... but... I don't understand... you said you were ready for a marriage..."
You don't want to build a life with me. You want someone. You want someone who wants the same things that you want.
"What?"
"You said you're fiancé didn't know what he wanted and that you did... I know what I want too."
"Are you out of your mind? The fact that I said I was ready to settle down... doesn't mean I wanted to marry you Derek... what were you planning to do... show me your house plans? We barely know each other."
"So why did you agree to go out with me?"
"I just wanted to see how good you were in bed... you look like you could be good. And get to know each other and... who knows what else could happen... that's it..."
"But I'm ready to settle down... I'm ready..."
"I guess there is no such thing as Dr. McDreamy... You're an ass Derek..."
Rose turned around and walked away, leaving there alone standing in the street, a very shocked and confused Derek... Finally the illusion he created of himself was there no more... He was not Dr. McDreamy at all.
I'm an ass.