Ok so I have been reading ALOT of Jeria stuff lately, mainly some AMAZING stuff by cherrycokerocks that anyone who likes this pairing should check out...actually even if you don't like the pairing because I didn't before I read her stuff! Also reading another Jeria fic by unwritten.x3 so give that a check out too!

When I started this fic I kind of just wrote this first flashback paragraph out of no where and then winged the rest of the fic by explaining how it got to that point and tying up the loose ends. Hope you enjoy, and be gentle it's my first time writing this pairing!

Anyway let me know what you think, I own nothing and all that jazz....rated m for a reason oh and if you're looking for something to read check out my Lita/Jericho fic called "You've Got a Hand to Hold it" its my fav fic I've ever done!

But without further a due here's the fic, read and leave those lovely reviews : ) Thanks guysss!

"Well when you figure out exactly what it is that you want, let me know...but until then Jeff? I don't want to see you; I don't want to hear from you, hell I don't even want to think about you." She said forcefully, counting the ways she needed to be apart from him on her perfectly manicured fingernails before laying her hands on her hips. "You can't just mess with peoples hearts like this and Until you fucking grow up and realise that Jeffrey Nero...I want absolutely nothing to do with you, and until you decide weather or not I'm worth your time...you're not worth mine."

He sat up suddenly, wiping off the sweat that had collected on his forehead in tiny beads. Pushing his lips together to form a thin pink line Jeff took a moment to take in his surroundings. It was then and only then did he realise he was at home, in his own bed, not arguing with Maria. He had only been dreaming about it...again. Every night this week he had the same dream, not even a slight difference, they didn't very at all, even down to the point at which his body would wake himself up to escape the nightmare.

It calmed him down a little knowing that it wasn't real, at least at the moment, but the words in the dream, and the actions...had already happened. The passionate statement was hard enough to take once, but now he was stuck reliving it over and over.

The worst part, Jeff thought, wasn't even the words; it was seeing her sad eyes again and again. He couldn't escape them; no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that it was his own subconscious doing this to him, he couldn't manage to dream about anything else.

Just her... just Maria and her big green eyes...eyes that told a story of pain. The hurt inside her was so vivid in them, and it killed him to know that he had put it there. When he met her all that they held were joy and the remnants of innocence. But he had managed to corrupt even her purity, how had it gotten to this point? Why did he let it go so far?

Shifting his weight on the mattress he rolled over carefully, trying his hardest not to wake the sleeping woman beside him. Because he knew he wouldn't be falling back to sleep now, and he didn't want to have to deal with her asking what was wrong. She was what was wrong...Beth Britt was the problem.

Jeff felt like his soul was turning inside out, just trying to jump out of his chest and leave him. He was supposed to love Beth, it was supposed to be forever, and he had once thought that she was the one...then Maria came along. She made him realise that he had never really been in love before, what he had with his girlfriend wasn't love; it was a mix of convenience, familiarity and comfort.

When he met Beth he will be the first to admit that he wasn't in the best of shape; mentally or physically. That was way back when he needed to get high to get out of bed in the morning, when cocaine was his claim to fame. She fought her way into connecting with him, she made sure to be around him as much as possible with his busy life...she was determined to become a part of it.

He'd come home from the airport once to find her waiting on his doorstep with a bag of groceries in hand, just waiting to cook him dinner. Home cooked meals we few and far between with his schedule and he never had the heart to turn her away. From that point on she just kept coming back, she wasn't like a stalker or anything, just a nice girl from around town who was sweet on him. She'd do things he couldn't around the house while he was away, be a shoulder to lean on and make sure he didn't get into too much trouble because of the mess that he was in in those days. Pretty soon he just started calling her his girlfriend and her list of things she did for him grew to include physical as well as emotional needs.

He had convinced himself it was love, when it was really just dependence, but she took good care of him, Matt accepted her as well as his father, so he stayed with her. In all honesty she was the only woman he thought he had ever loved, when he didn't even know the meaning of the word. He had only found out he was wrong when the Illinois native walked into the picture.

Never in his life had Jeff looked at himself as an angel, even with Beth at home hopelessly devoted to him he found his eye straying on the road. There's only so long that you can hide the fact that you're lonely from yourself and being intoxicated half the time didn't help the situation. It wasn't like he ever really cheated...just some harmless flirting, a little looking...nothing to purposely hurt his girlfriend.

Time came and went, he had lost his job over his substance abuse and worked hard to get clean and get it back. He thought that things were simpler when he re-entered the company but things got intensely complicated when it came to Maria Kanellis.

She was the new ditsy interviewer on Raw that was about all he knew about her in the beginning. He'd never really taken an interest in her, all he cared about was keeping his life on track and earning the top spot in the company that he thought he deserved.

Then out of the blue she was interviewing him more and more, they'd done some vignettes and even tagged together. It was then and only then did he look past the TV character, being forced to spend time with someone makes you do that...even when you don't want to. And the more he got to know about her, the more of the "real" Maria that he saw, made him fall for her...hard.

They grew to become friends...best friends. It was nothing more, nothing less...he enjoyed her company and she in turn enjoyed his. But what the bombshell brunette didn't know was that Jeff was harbouring more then just friendly feelings for her, and the more time that past the harder it became for him to ignore his attraction to her...both sexual and emotionally.

Jeff had started travelling with her and pretty soon they were inseparable, it came to the point were he was seeing her more then he was seeing his own girlfriend, actually he was seeing her more then his own brother which was an even bigger deal.

Then it occurred to the rainbow haired warrior that Maria must not have known about Beth, he had never mentioned her, and she never wanted anything to do with wrestling which meant that Maria also never had the opportunity to meet her...and she never would. A little devil perched upon his shoulder, urging him to go after Maria. "Beth will never know..." It would taunt, "No one has to know."

All night that night he struggled with both his conscience and his self control. She was five feet away, sleeping peacefully in the bed to his left. It wouldn't be hard; he would just creep over there and crawl in beside her. He could see the outline of her perfect body even in the dark...her chest was rising and falling, just laying there for the taking.

For once he wrestled not with his body, but with his thoughts... and in early hours of the morning raced for a quick cold shower. His mind had been running ramped all night, and the images in his head seemed so real, so perfect to him. But in the end he resisted, opting instead to be the loyal man he was raised to be. He swore right then and there that he would never make a movie on Maria...yet in the end he didn't have to...it was her who made the first move on him.

She'd had quiet a bit to drink that evening if he remembered it correctly, and that should have been his first sign that it shouldn't have happened. He'd helped her stumble her way back to the hotel room to her own bed from all the way downtown. It was pretty late and they couldn't seem to flag down a cab no matter how desperate they were. But he got her there safe and sound, she'd fallen on her ass a few times but she was no worse for the wear...a couple of bruises at the most.

Jeff was the sober one for once in his life; it was weird seeing the shoe on the other foot. At the same time he loved her venerable state, not because he wanted to take advantage of her...it was nothing like that. But because for once he got to take care of someone, he was so used to having people take care of him like this that the unfamiliar feeling of being needed made him feel good on the inside.

He looked down at her when he plopped her back on the soft mattress to see the drunken smile plastered across her porcelain face, "Did I ever tell you how sexy you are Jeffrey?" She said, giggling as she laid her hand tenderly on the side of his face.

The North Carolina native smiled back at her, laying his own hand on top of hers, "Nope." He said, unsure of how else to address her drunken babble.

She forced herself to sit up, her glazed over eyes having a different sparkle in them, "Well you are, I want to tell you that all the time...I think about you all the time Jeff. I just can't find the nerve to tell you how I really feel." Suddenly she gasped and cupped and hand over her mouth.

"What's wrong?" Jeff asked, brushing her hair from her face...still unable to stop smiling at her admittance.

Maria began chuckling to herself again, "Guess I let the cat out of the bag didn't I?"

"Guess you did..." He replied, laughing a little himself.

The room went silent for a moment, "Jeff?" She said questioningly, breaking the quiet again.

"Yeah?" He whispered.

"Will you lay here with me?" She asked, her eyes alive with the fear of rejection, searching out some sign of comfort in his gaze.

Reluctantly he laid back beside her, somehow he couldn't deny her. It was another bad move on his part but something was drawing him to her...like a moth to the flame.

She turned on her side to face him, his nose almost touching hers, her hot breath hitting his face. He watched as she inched foreword, her lips heading for his but he couldn't bring himself to stop what he knew was coming. Like a car accident you couldn't look away from, he just sat there as she pressed her soft mouth to his.

Before he knew it he was kissing her back, his hands tangling in her hair and her red nails trailing up his chest. Her hands moved south, fiddling with his zipper and stroking him through the fabric of his boxers when she had managed to finally get his fly open.

His eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy at the feeling of her hands on him; he couldn't help but grunt at the sensation. Jeff's tongue dove out of his mouth and trailed over her jaw and down over her neck causing her own sounds of pleasure to fill the air, "Nero." She whimpered, griping the back of his neck for dear life.

Pushing her skirt up over her hips and shoving her panties to the side he trailed a finger lightly over her woman hood. He smirked to himself, satisfied to find her moist and eager for him. Maria was growing more and more impatient by the second, reaching out in her lust she grab the top of his pants and the elastic of his boxers, pulling them both down with one swift tug. "I need you inside me,"

Who was he to disobey her? So with one forceful push he filled her, making her cry out in both pain and bliss. He could tell that this wasn't going to be a long drawn out performances, she was too impatient to tease, and Jeff was just as determined to give her what she wanted anyway. Moving in and out slowly he gave her very little time to adjust before he quickly picked up the pace for her. Maria didn't seem to mind as she arched off the mattress to try and desperately push there bodies closer together, "Mmmm faster Jeff,"

The sound of her voice in his ear was enough to make him come crashing down right then and there, but he forced himself to hold out just a little longer for her. "Come on harder, your not gonna hurt me." She begged, gripping his shoulders and trying her best to make him speed up with her hips.

Finally given in he began pumping into her at a fiver pitch, gripping the headboard for support as her head started banging forcefully against it. Looking at her he was worried that she was in pain but she kept tell him to keep going, "I'm ok Jeff, don't stop...for the love of god don t stop now." The brunette panted, gluing her eyes shut.

The sound of her whimpers was becoming too much for him to handle, he was going to go over the edge at any second... "Maria I..."

"Uh," She moaned, cutting him off, "Uh Jeff..." He could feel her body clenching around him, shaking and shuttering. Her eyes opened and she kissed him with urgency and need before crying out one last time then collapsing peacefully against the mattress.

The Ottawa native rolled over off of him, and Jeff instinctively wrapped his arms around her still clothed upper half. He couldn't help but smile holding her, but for the first time that night Beth crept into his mind. Even if he didn't love her, she didn't deserve to be mistreated in the way that she just had been. So what if she didn't know...he knew and he knew that it would eat him up inside. Jeff didn't know what he was going to do, but as he felt Maria snuggle back into him he knew that while it was wrong of him to sleep with her that in his heart he didn't regret it.

Jeff never did tell Beth about that night, and it wasn't the last time he would wind up in bed with the former diva search competitor. After a nine year relationship he found himself wanting to be with someone else, he wanted to be with Maria, and only Maria.

He decided that not telling his girlfriend was saving her the hurt, and no matter how many times he found himself between the sheets with the brunette he kept swearing to himself that it would never happen again.

Of course he kept breaking his promises to himself; it was just too hard to resist her. He spent everyday on the road with her, not to mention the fact that she kept throwing herself at him after that first night. Jeff would walk into the hotel to find her laying there on the bed in nothing but her underwear, she'd follow him into the shower after a show and numerous other things he never dreamed that shy little Maria would think of.

Everything was so intense and passionate, unlike anything he'd ever felt...it was a greater high then he'd ever gotten in the ring or from any drug he had put into his system. She was his new addiction...and nobody knew.

A double life was exhausting; it got to the point where he felt like the secret built up inside him was reading to explode. Jeff started avoiding going home; finding excuses to be away from Beth because seeing her face made the guilt gnaw away at him even more. He took on more appearances and was wearing himself down with his schedule just trying to put off the inevitable...which was hurting one or both of the women in his life. But no matter how hard he fought it, the time came anyway...

It was late at night, Maria was spooned into him, and his hands were resting on her stomach peacefully as they both drifted into sleep. Nothing unordinary, it was just like every other night...until his cell phone rang.

He was so tired from insane schedule he had put himself on that once he drifted out of consciousness that the loud ringing didn't even wake him. Maria was the one who answered it, and he never would have known anything except he was awoken by a hard slap across the face.

"What the fuck is you're problem!?" She yelled, grabbing the blanket off of him to roll him out of bed.

Rubbing his eyes and then his jaw he looked up at her, he'd never seen her so angry, "What are you talking about Ria, why are you so mad baby?"

She hauled off and slapped him again, "Don't baby me ass hole..."

"What's wrong here?" He asked, reaching out in a pointless attempt to hold her as he witnessed tears start streaming from her eyes.

"Maybe you can explain to me why I just got cussed out for answering your phone by a woman who professes to be your girlfriend." She shouted, backing away from his touch.

His face fell, and his voice lowered, "Beth..." Jeff said quietly, unable to believe that it was all really going to down like this.

"So it's true..." She said softly, her few soft tears turning rapidly into uncontrollable sobs.

"Maria...I-I-I" He stuttered, unsure of what to say to her, there was no way to rectify this.

Her face collapsed in her hands, her head shaking back and forth as if she was begging for it to all be a lie, "How long have you been seeing her?"

Reaching out for a second time he gently laid a hand on her arm, "Please Maria lets not do this..."

She quickly jerked away from him, "How long Jeff?" He didn't answer, he just remained silent, "How fucking long?" She screamed, drawing her hand back to slap him for a third time.

His eyes moved to the floor, "Nine years."

"Nine years!" She shouted, "She's been you're girlfriend for nine years! How could you do this to her, how could you do this to me?"

"I don't know."

She laughed through her tears, "You don't know...that's the best answer you've got Nero? You just broke my heart, and her heart. How you could you start something with me when you've been with someone else for the better part of a decade? God Jeff you should have heard her crying on the phone when she heard my voice and I told her you were asleep beside me."

"I'm sorry Maria, I wanted to tell her about you...and I just had no idea what to say to you, pretty much everyone in the company knows about Beth and you just started throwing yourself at me and I just couldn't resist you..."

The brunette ran a hand back through her long curly locks, "And that's supposed to make me feel better? It makes me feel like a fucking slut Jeff, what did you think that I knew about her and just didn't care? That's not who am Jeff."

He tried to inch towards her; he moved carefully gauging her anger to see if she would start swinging at him again, "No I thought at first that it was just some mistake that wasn't going to happen again..." Jeff took her hand, "But I was wrong Maria, I couldn't keep myself from being with you."

She sighed, "Then why didn't you just tell her that you found somebody else..."

"Because I didn't know what I wanted, I have this amazing bond with you Ria but Beth has been by my side for every up and down in my adult life."

The Ottawa native pulled away from him again. "Well when you figure out exactly what it is that you want, let me know...but until then Jeff? I don't want to see you; I don't want to hear from you, hell I don't even want to think about you." She said forcefully, counting the ways she needed to be apart from him on her perfectly manicured fingernails before laying her hands on her hips. "You can't just mess with peoples hearts like this and Until you fucking grow up and realise that Jeffrey Nero...I want absolutely nothing to do with you, and until you decide weather or not I'm worth your time...you're not worth mine."

She walked out of the room just as she was in her pj's, and spent the night with her best friend on Smackdown, Victoria. Maria didn't even come back in the morning for her things, Vic showed up at the door for them instead.

And that was a week ago, he had been stuck reliving it over and over in his dreams ever since.

Which brought him back to the present...laying there next to Beth when the only person he could think about was Maria. Beth didn't even question him about her; she just took him back and said she forgave him for a "one time slip up". He didn't even get a word in; she almost forced them back together the way she got into his life in the first place. What was he supposed to do, change the locks? It was her home too.

Jeff was almost too tired over everything to care, he didn't want to fight her, so he just laid back and accepted the fact that she forgave him. He knew he should be grateful but all he wanted was to see Maria. He didn't care if the bombshell was throwing punches the whole time; he just needed to see her face again. It was almost like he felt he would die if he didn't.

Rolling out of bed he headed downstairs and grabbed his phone. He dialled the seven little numbers that knew would connect him to her; he didn't care how late it was...it didn't matter.

"Hello..." She said groggily, obviously he had woken her up.

He paced back and forth his kitchen, "Maria it's me, please don't hang up..."

Instantly her tone changed, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't..."

"Because I can't stop thinking about you, it's driving me crazy. I'm lying in bed with my girlfriend and all I can think about is how much I miss you, how much I'd kill to see you..."

He could hear her huff, "Like I want to hear about you being in bed with Beth,"

"Are you hearing me Ria, I said that even next to her you're all that's on my mind. I wanted for things to be different, I wanted to just let you go but I can't do that. Just tell me that there's even a slight chance that you'll be with me and I will leave her right now...It shouldn't have taken all this to make me realise that I love you..."

"You what?" She asked, her voice sounding completely shocked.

Jeff tried to keep his own voice from breaking, "I love you."

It was as if he could hear her smiling, "Jeff-I..."

"Where are you?" He blurted, cutting her off before she could finish.

"Umm, at my house."

He grabbed his car keys, "I'm on my way..."

"Jeff it's like a fourteen hour drive..." She pleaded.

"I don't care I want to be with you...I want to work all this out right now."

She laughed lightly, "Wait until the morning Jeffrey...I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

Maria giggled again, "I promise...If you're serious, about me...about us Nero?"

"Yeah?"

"Sit Beth down in the morning, tell her how you feel...I couldn't bear to think she'd wake up to find you gone...left with some stupid letter or a phone call. Nine years deserves the effort Jeffrey...that is if you're serious about being with me."

He smiled, "I am..."

"Then I'll see you in the morning...we'll work all this out tomorrow."

"Ok..." He said softly, disappointed that he would have to wait that long to hold her, "I love you."

"I love you too."

So what did you think? love it? hate it? Drop me a line beauties!