Chapter1: Autumns Monologue Ginevra Weasly stood rooted to the spot on the floor. All day long kids had been stopping at the post board on the wall next to the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. For the first time ever, for some strange reason, Dumbledore had decided to hold a school wide talent competition like the ones Muggles had where they would sing and dance in front of a bunch of people. Students from all houses were being encouraged to enter and sign up sheets were placed all around the school, or at least the parts where Peeves the Poltergeist wasn't tearing them down. Ginny didn't know why but she had been staring at that sheet all day. Tempted to put down her name but too scared to do so. Just staring at the sheet brought about feelings of nervousness and stage fright (she had always had a bad case of the butterflies ever since she could remember). Entering in the show seemed like a cool idea, but the thought of all the kids looking at her made her heart pound in her chest. She still vividly remembered the last time she sang in front a group of people; the family had been having dinner out in the garden, she was five years old and Molly had convinced her to sing some song she had been singing all day. Ginny, laughing at the idea stood on top of the table and began to sing. About halfway through she realized that everyone was looking at her. Her face, turning as red as her hair, Ginny jumped down from the table and ran to the bathroom where she promptly threw up. Just thinking of that brought a rush of blood to her face and she made sure to duck her head low as a Gryffindor prefect passed by.
Standing there, scared out of her wits by a piece of paper, she felt like a younger version of herself. The version that was too trusting and naïve, too shy and timid, the one that was still in love with Harry Potter but to afraid to tell him or even look at him. She smiled glumly to herself wishing those days of innocent were still upon her. She'd like to say that she changed as she matured but the reality was that she just got worse. As she got older she buried herself in her books and although her social life suffered (died was more like it) she got grades to rival Hermione. Anger and cynicism slowly worked their way into her. Corrupting her soul even more so than that little diary she encountered in her first year. Maybe that was why no one talked to her; they thought her insane or still in the grips of Tom Riddle if only in the smallest sense. She smiled at the thought of Tom and his beautiful green eyes. Green eyes that looked so much like Harry's, or would it be the other way around since Tom was born first? Ginny still had dreams about Tom, about the way he talked to her, the way he looked at her, the way he touched her. "Can't forget the mind control." She said bitterly, tugging her red hair into her face. Blush crept up her neck as she remembered the way his hands would roam her body and how she imagined he as Harry when his lips claimed hers for a kiss. She loved the feeling she got in her stomach every time she awoke in the chamber. He would be standing there smiling at her, saying sweet nothings in her ear. It didn't matter that he was using her or that she was too young to understand the things she was feeling. What mattered was that she understood now and that she'd give anything to feel like that again. So sweet and innocent and naïve, so out of touch with reality that she fell in love with a memory and gave to him the most precious thing she owned. She sighed heavily and turned away from the post board, checking her reflection in the window as she walked by it. Puberty had been very nice to her but instead of it shooting her self esteem through the roof it sank slowly below the ground. After many failed friendships with girls who got jealous of her and boys who wanted to bed her Ginny saw just how alone she was. Hanging out with the Golden Trio too much was out of the question for being the saviors of the wizard world left no time for outsiders. Now she moped about like a lost puppy. Head cast down, eyes not smiling. People were starting to notice too, asking her if she was alright and whatnot. At first she told the nosy ones that she was just sad over her brother, Percy's, disownment of the family. At first she didn't know why she felt so bad all day, every day. Then one morning she noticed it: how everyone else in school was different. She noticed how they were all paired off, smiling and giggling and hugging. 'And the constant snogging that goes on.' She thought bitterly to herself, recalling the numerous times she had walked in on couples making out. Everyone had someone to call their own while she was horridly alone. Even her git of a brother and the twins had girlfriends. Fed up with her own coward-ness and jealousy Ginny stalked away from the window and slummed into a comfy chair by the fire. Everyone was paired off and she was alone. The thought kept running through her mind the whole time she sat by the fire. Her eyes stared intently into the roaring blaze, its beauty reflecting in her watery brown eyes. It was a lovely day outside and most of the students had taken to the outdoors to do their homework, leaving Ginny alone in the common room. She wasn't sure how much time had passed by but the next thing she knew she was being shaken and someone was yelling her name. "Ginny! Gin!" Her eyes snapping open Ginny looked wildly around the room before her eyes locked onto Ron's. His arm was wrapped protectively around Harry's waist and he was looking at her with a worried look on his face. "Are you ok?" he asked timidly. "I'm fine." she replied coldly. "Oh well you missed dinner but I brought you a small plate." he said pulling a tightly wrapped plate from his robes. "Thanks Ron. Sorry I missed dinner didn't mean to fall asleep." she mumbled, taking the plate. Harry was leaning into Ron, whispering something in his ear, something that made Ron laugh and blush wildly. Ginny rolled her eyes in disgust. Just then the portrait to the common room opened causing Ron and Harry to quickly disentangle themselves from each other. Seeing that it was only Hermione, Ron laughed softly and pulled Harry into his lap. The blacked haired boy let out a yelp of excitement and playfully smacked the red head as he landed. "Where have you been Herms?" asked Ron. Hermione looked a little startled to see them sitting there and quickly made to fix her messy robes and hair. "I was in the library, of course." she said shortly, as if offended that they question her. "Well Harry got you a plate since you missed dinner." Ron said, completely missing Hermione's tone. "Thanks Harry but I'm very tired so I think I'll be going to bed." "But it's barely eight o'clock." said Ron in failed protest. Hermione sighed heavily and limped slowly over to them, collapsing into a chair next to Ginny who had been silently inhaling her food. "So what did I miss at dinner?" she asked. "Nothing really except Seamus turning his water into rum and then knocking it over as he jumped up and down in excitement." said Harry. Ginny chuckled softly at this as she wiped her mouth on the napkin provided for her. Looking over at her Ginny noticed how tired Hermione looked. Her face was flushed and her lips looked bruised. She was still trying to catch her breathe and though she had tried her robes and hair still looked ruffled. Staring harder at her Ginny tried to figure out what the older girl had been doing; surely a study session in the library could not leave one looking so disheveled. 'Unless,' Ginny thought with a wicked smile, 'she was studying something else.' "What's so funny Gin?" Ron asked, breaking her thoughts yet again. "Oh nothing just some stupid joke I heard earlier." she said quickly while casting a glance at Hermione. The rest of the evening rolled along smoothly. Ron and Harry acting like every other freaking couple in school while Hermione chastised them for being so reckless. "What if someone hears you?" she half yelled as Ron straddled Harry's waist and tickled him. Ginny had to admit that the sight of the two of them was quite funny and the looks on their faces every time the portrait opened was priceless. It was sometime after midnight when Hermione finally stood to bid them goodnight. After doing a simple clean up spell Ginny jumped up from her chair and ran after the older girl who was already in the stairwell. "So," Ginny started after she caught up to Hermione, "what had you so preoccupied that you missed dinner?" "No one." said Hermione as they walked along. "No one, eh?" said Ginny quickly picking up on Hermione's answer. "That's nice." replied Hermione in a voice that suggested she was no longer paying attention, as if her reply was not enough. From the dim light that flashed over their faces while they walked along, Ginny could see the far away look in her eyes. "So what were you really doing because I know it wasn't studying. No body gets bruised lips from studying." "Oh for heaven's sake I was just studying." said Hermione before walking farther ahead and slamming her dorm door just as Ginny passed by.
Standing there, scared out of her wits by a piece of paper, she felt like a younger version of herself. The version that was too trusting and naïve, too shy and timid, the one that was still in love with Harry Potter but to afraid to tell him or even look at him. She smiled glumly to herself wishing those days of innocent were still upon her. She'd like to say that she changed as she matured but the reality was that she just got worse. As she got older she buried herself in her books and although her social life suffered (died was more like it) she got grades to rival Hermione. Anger and cynicism slowly worked their way into her. Corrupting her soul even more so than that little diary she encountered in her first year. Maybe that was why no one talked to her; they thought her insane or still in the grips of Tom Riddle if only in the smallest sense. She smiled at the thought of Tom and his beautiful green eyes. Green eyes that looked so much like Harry's, or would it be the other way around since Tom was born first? Ginny still had dreams about Tom, about the way he talked to her, the way he looked at her, the way he touched her. "Can't forget the mind control." She said bitterly, tugging her red hair into her face. Blush crept up her neck as she remembered the way his hands would roam her body and how she imagined he as Harry when his lips claimed hers for a kiss. She loved the feeling she got in her stomach every time she awoke in the chamber. He would be standing there smiling at her, saying sweet nothings in her ear. It didn't matter that he was using her or that she was too young to understand the things she was feeling. What mattered was that she understood now and that she'd give anything to feel like that again. So sweet and innocent and naïve, so out of touch with reality that she fell in love with a memory and gave to him the most precious thing she owned. She sighed heavily and turned away from the post board, checking her reflection in the window as she walked by it. Puberty had been very nice to her but instead of it shooting her self esteem through the roof it sank slowly below the ground. After many failed friendships with girls who got jealous of her and boys who wanted to bed her Ginny saw just how alone she was. Hanging out with the Golden Trio too much was out of the question for being the saviors of the wizard world left no time for outsiders. Now she moped about like a lost puppy. Head cast down, eyes not smiling. People were starting to notice too, asking her if she was alright and whatnot. At first she told the nosy ones that she was just sad over her brother, Percy's, disownment of the family. At first she didn't know why she felt so bad all day, every day. Then one morning she noticed it: how everyone else in school was different. She noticed how they were all paired off, smiling and giggling and hugging. 'And the constant snogging that goes on.' She thought bitterly to herself, recalling the numerous times she had walked in on couples making out. Everyone had someone to call their own while she was horridly alone. Even her git of a brother and the twins had girlfriends. Fed up with her own coward-ness and jealousy Ginny stalked away from the window and slummed into a comfy chair by the fire. Everyone was paired off and she was alone. The thought kept running through her mind the whole time she sat by the fire. Her eyes stared intently into the roaring blaze, its beauty reflecting in her watery brown eyes. It was a lovely day outside and most of the students had taken to the outdoors to do their homework, leaving Ginny alone in the common room. She wasn't sure how much time had passed by but the next thing she knew she was being shaken and someone was yelling her name. "Ginny! Gin!" Her eyes snapping open Ginny looked wildly around the room before her eyes locked onto Ron's. His arm was wrapped protectively around Harry's waist and he was looking at her with a worried look on his face. "Are you ok?" he asked timidly. "I'm fine." she replied coldly. "Oh well you missed dinner but I brought you a small plate." he said pulling a tightly wrapped plate from his robes. "Thanks Ron. Sorry I missed dinner didn't mean to fall asleep." she mumbled, taking the plate. Harry was leaning into Ron, whispering something in his ear, something that made Ron laugh and blush wildly. Ginny rolled her eyes in disgust. Just then the portrait to the common room opened causing Ron and Harry to quickly disentangle themselves from each other. Seeing that it was only Hermione, Ron laughed softly and pulled Harry into his lap. The blacked haired boy let out a yelp of excitement and playfully smacked the red head as he landed. "Where have you been Herms?" asked Ron. Hermione looked a little startled to see them sitting there and quickly made to fix her messy robes and hair. "I was in the library, of course." she said shortly, as if offended that they question her. "Well Harry got you a plate since you missed dinner." Ron said, completely missing Hermione's tone. "Thanks Harry but I'm very tired so I think I'll be going to bed." "But it's barely eight o'clock." said Ron in failed protest. Hermione sighed heavily and limped slowly over to them, collapsing into a chair next to Ginny who had been silently inhaling her food. "So what did I miss at dinner?" she asked. "Nothing really except Seamus turning his water into rum and then knocking it over as he jumped up and down in excitement." said Harry. Ginny chuckled softly at this as she wiped her mouth on the napkin provided for her. Looking over at her Ginny noticed how tired Hermione looked. Her face was flushed and her lips looked bruised. She was still trying to catch her breathe and though she had tried her robes and hair still looked ruffled. Staring harder at her Ginny tried to figure out what the older girl had been doing; surely a study session in the library could not leave one looking so disheveled. 'Unless,' Ginny thought with a wicked smile, 'she was studying something else.' "What's so funny Gin?" Ron asked, breaking her thoughts yet again. "Oh nothing just some stupid joke I heard earlier." she said quickly while casting a glance at Hermione. The rest of the evening rolled along smoothly. Ron and Harry acting like every other freaking couple in school while Hermione chastised them for being so reckless. "What if someone hears you?" she half yelled as Ron straddled Harry's waist and tickled him. Ginny had to admit that the sight of the two of them was quite funny and the looks on their faces every time the portrait opened was priceless. It was sometime after midnight when Hermione finally stood to bid them goodnight. After doing a simple clean up spell Ginny jumped up from her chair and ran after the older girl who was already in the stairwell. "So," Ginny started after she caught up to Hermione, "what had you so preoccupied that you missed dinner?" "No one." said Hermione as they walked along. "No one, eh?" said Ginny quickly picking up on Hermione's answer. "That's nice." replied Hermione in a voice that suggested she was no longer paying attention, as if her reply was not enough. From the dim light that flashed over their faces while they walked along, Ginny could see the far away look in her eyes. "So what were you really doing because I know it wasn't studying. No body gets bruised lips from studying." "Oh for heaven's sake I was just studying." said Hermione before walking farther ahead and slamming her dorm door just as Ginny passed by.