More Than Lust, a glee fanfic

A/n Hey you guys, I love this song, and demand that you listen to it, and everything else the band has done, Lets get them out there! Go to Youtube RIGHT NOW, and look up More than Lust, Paradise Fears.

Ever since Noah and I had moved to New York over the summer, we've been hanging out a lot. Well, Santana and Mike and Kurt are here too, and they hang out a lot with us too, but I've noticed Noah in particular. I mean, he and I have been friends since the cradle, but we just haven't been this close since elementary school.

All 5 of us are going to school in New York, Noah at CUNY, Mike at Julliard, Kurt at NYADA, Santana and I at NYU. Yeah, they only had one spot left, and Kurt got it. I'm glad too. He was more deserving. And yes, this may not sound like Rachel Berry, but I've grown a lot. So much has changed in the last 6 months.

Right before I was supposed to leave for Regional's, Daddy had a stroke. That was the first time that my loyalties were truly tested. Daddy was in a coma, and probably wouldn't wake up anytime soon. Papa told me to go to the competition, but I couldn't. Finn didn't take it well. We had our last fight and officially broke up over it. But it had been a long time coming. Our ever encroaching semi-permanent separation had been looming over our relationship. Shortly after, Daddy slipped away forever, brain dead. I was holding his hand singing a soft lullaby to him in Hebrew, the one he used to sing me to sleep with. Then, his hand went limp and I stopped singing. I didn't sing for month afterwards. I couldn't, every time I tried, my throat would tighten up and stop functioning.

Papa slipped into depression and stopped going to work. Eventually, we lost the house. In a few short months, I lost my Daddy, boyfriend, talent, home, and the majority of my friends. Papa was basically gone too. I didn't tell anyone, but Noah found out through the temple. My aunty took Papa in with her and offered for me to go too, but When Noah learned that, he decided to take things into his own hands. I told him I didn't want to go. Noah, my defender, decided I wasn't going to go if I didn't want to. So, He told the one person he knew would help me without judging me, Quinn. She immediately told me that I was moving in with her, because there was no way I was moving to Hinton, Wisconsin. (A/n made up town, sorry if it actually exists!) She also told me that I was joining glee again. And I did.

My healing was slow, but I became Rachel again, just different. Quinn was one of my closest friends, even though she was at Yale. Now, halfway through my freshman year, so was Noah. Well, I think at least. He was always bringing me coffees and meeting me for lunch. When Santana drags me out to a club, he always agrees to go with me even though I know he hates it. But sometimes I catch him staring at me. And his roommate is always making disgusting jokes when he finds Noah and me alone in their room. Plus, Santana has told me that he thinks I'm hot.

I think that Noah wants to, as Santana likes to say, do the nasty with me. And I want to too, as loath as I am to admit it. Actually, I want more than that, I want a relationship. With Noah Puckerman. The same man who seduced my birth mother. When I told Quinn, all she did is laugh manically. When I asked her what was up, she told me something that made me feel like an idiot.

"Rachel, you think he just wants a booty call? God, Pucks changed almost as much as you have. He isn't like that anymore"

I sputtered out, "No one can change that much, Q. not in a year."

I swear I could hear her shake her head over the phone. "Hon, it didn't take him a year to change. Plus this isn't a change then attraction situation, this is an attraction, then change one."

"I have no clue what that means Q. but I have to go to class. You will explain it later though right?"

The only response I got back was a giggle and she hung up.

When I finish class, I find Santana waiting for me in our dorm. It's about 4:30, but she has whole outfits laid out all over both our beds. "Are we going somewhere tonight?" the Latina doesn't even turn around. "Pucks got a gig at 7. Q's driving down. And loca, I'm giving you a head-to-toe make over." I have time to mumble "Oh no." and then Kurt pops out of our closet, carrying more clothes. He smiles at me and trills, "I'm helping too! It's a special night tonight."

A couple hours later, I have been poked, prodded and plucked. But Quinn sweeps in just in time to see them declare me "Perfect!" Q smiles sweetly at me as I glare at her, "You knew about this didn't you?" she nods and then pulls out San's full length mirror. I have to admit, I do look good. My hair is in tousled waves down to the middle of my back, my bangs swept to the side. I wear a lacy tight black tank top with a pair of dark skinny jeans and black heeled ankle boots. Charcoal eyeshadow covers my lids, and slightly shimmery lipgloss finishes it. I actually look like a college student.

I narrow my eyes at my 3 friends. "Why are you doing this for a show of Noah's? and what does everyone seem to know about him that I don't?" all three of them have a silent conversation, but having shared many with the trio, I can understand it. Kurt's raised eyebrows whisper, does she really not know? Santana's slight head tilt responds I know it's hard to believe, but yeah. Quinn's wink and Cheshire cat smile says, well, she'll know soon. Fed up, I sigh, "I am still here you know!" and they all laugh and Kurt says, "Well. Let's go! I don't wanna be late!"

Mike meets us outside the dorm, clutching a video camera for some reason. We quickly walk to the small bar where our names are on the list already. Noah is on stage tuning up. My heart pings at the sight of him, and I silently chastise her. No. stop it we don't want him. She just ignores me and keeps bouncing around erratically. He glances at the door and sends a heart stopping smile our way.

About 15 minutes later, he's played a few opening songs, Beth, Sweet Caroline, and Big Ass Heart. After laughter from the last one dies down, he clears his throat and sits down on a stool. "Kay you guys, this next song requires a little introduction. About 3 or 4 years ago, this amazing girl, Hot, talented, Jewish, broke up with me on the bleachers of our high school. I knew it needed to happen, because there was some drama with a baby-mama, and my other ex hating her, and I was just flat out not ready for her. Now, My ex and baby mama are two of her best friends, I've grown up, not without a few mistakes along the way, and I think that our time may finally be here. This is a new song to my rotation, and Rachel, babe, I mean every word. It's called More than Lust, by Paradise Fears."

I feel several eyes in the bar lock on me when he speaks, and then even more when he starts singing.

I've got a love that can never last
In and out and I'm fading fast
Here's how it happens with boys like me:
I make it seem like I'm so in love
With you, but it never does
Mean anything to me

The whole bar starts getting really into the song, and the dance floor quickly fills. I sit in my seat at our booths and freeze.

Oh, oh, I'll fake a smile to make this so dangerous
You can watch me take this slow
You'll watch the line drop speed it up 'till we make your heart stop
You're a tease
You're the reason I lost it
You're the worst of the best and I want it
Make you believe this is more than lust tonight

Santana and Quinn Share a smile in my peripheral vision and suddenly they have pulled me out of the booth and are spinning me out to the dance floor. Noah pauses long enough to belly laugh at my squeal. Finally I bust out laughing and start dancing with my girls.

Hold another drink 'till you fall
Take another pill for your high
This is the sound of breaking, this is the sound of breaking
Another silent assault, another unreturned stare
Another time you give up, another time I don't care
This is the sound of breaking, this is the sound of breaking

Giving in to this feeling of sinking
So far in that I can't return safely
Make you believe that this is more than lust tonight

The song slows slightly in tempo and I find myself closer to the stage than I was before. He bends down to smile at me, and captures my hand in his.

It's never been this hard
You don't seem to let go
I've been thinking far too long and I'm losing all control
And there's a voice inside screaming for love and I know, I know

He croons the words tenderly to me, and my heart melts. I whisper in a low voice I didn't realize I had access to, "Noah." The tempo speeds again and he pulls back away. Jumping in beat with the rest of the song.

You're a tease
You're the reason I lost it
You're the worst of the best and I want it
Make you believe this is more than lust tonight

It's never been this hard
You don't seem to let go
I've been thinking far too long and I'm losing all control
And there's a voice inside screaming for love and I know, I know

When he finishes it, the bar is absolutely nuts. Girls are screaming and guys are laughing. I've still stand at the edge of the stage. He smiles down at me and crouches to look me in the eyes. "Well Rachel, what do you say?" I smile at him and take the hand he holds out to me. He pulls me onto the stage and Kisses me in front of everyone. Wolf whistles pierce the air, and I blush and pull away, I whisper, "We'll talk later, mmkay?" he smirks and nods. I get of stage and return to our friends. Mike is just then snapping shut the camera. He answers my quizzical glance with, "Tina and Blaine wanted to see too." I nod and sit down into a chair, deciding to get a copy of that video myself. Quinn and Kurt both stage whisper behind my back, "She's in shock!" "She seriously didn't have a clue!" I pretend not to hear them and just watch My Noah the rest of the night.

When he finishes his set at 9:00, our group of friends leaves. Noah and I trail behind and I break the silence, "You've liked me all along? And didn't tell me?" He nods and takes my hand. "It was what we both needed. You learned a lot from Finn and Jesse, and Lauren and Shelby helped me see what I needed to really deserve you. I've changed Rach." I smile and reach out to take his hand. "Noah, I would have taken you exactly as you were. But thank you." He kisses my forehead and we smile at our friends, who are going nuts in the snowdrifts. "How did they all figure it out?" He chuckles deep in his chest. "Mike always knew, he's like my confidant or whatever. I couldn't lie to Quinn when she asked me. San and Kurt, I don't know, they just knew. Like, I swear they have some Homo-voodoo magic shit." I smack his arm lightly and he laughs again. He suddenly stops and then places a hand on my waist, "We don't have to do this if you don't want it. I just had to take the chance." I smiled and put a hand on his cheek, "I want this Noah. I promise you. Now kiss me already." He smirks in a true Puckerman style and kisses me. I finally see what Finn was talking about 2 years ago in the nurse's office. Fireworks.

When a cold, wet ball hits our faces, we spring apart and Santana cackles. Noah and I both quickly make our own and fire them at her.