Title : Through the Looking Glass
Author : honey
Disclaimer : I don't own Angel. Never did. Never will.
Characters : Angel, Faith, Connor
Pairing : Still debating on who to pair Faith with. It is either Angel or Wes. Most likely Angel.
Genre : Adventure, Romance, Angst
Spoilers : A New World.
Warning : Violence, Death
Summary : She owed the universe a big one, Faith figured. That is why they had given Connor to her. An eternity later, they want her to give him back.
I.
It was raining.
Large droplets of water pelted down on them violently as if the heavens had seen what he had done to this girl and wept. Their clothes clung to them, heavy fabric weighted down by water.
Angel rested his chin on top of Faith's head and smelled a faint hint of soap in her hair. He noted that she smelled of something different too, of a place far and away and of power - untouchable and dangerous.
He shifted her in his arms and she wheezed against his chest, her breathing shallow and harsh. The metal still jutted out of her, blood and water dripping from her wound. The front and back of her shirt were soaked with blood now and the scent was suddenly intoxicating to Angel. Inside him, Angelus was laughing.
"I'm sorry." He whispered into her hair, quelling the nauseating feeling.
"Why?" It sounded like a plea. "Why?"
Angel could barely bring himself to look her in the eye. "He was so unhappy, Faith. And he was becoming too dangerous."
"He is. We are...dangerous." Faith argued tiredly. The pain was spreading faster across her chest. God, she hated this part. The painful, dying part.
Angel frowned. "He was hurting himself and others around him."
"Comes with the territory." Faith coughed and blood spurted out of her mouth.
"Faith, can you just focus on relaxing?" His voice sounded somewhat impatient.
Her expression crumbled and her shoulders started to shake violently. She was groaning and sobbing, in pain both inside and out. "He may have been yours for days....weeks...but he was mine for...almost two...two hundred years."
Angel frowned, confusion etched in his face. "What? But how?" He shifted again, trying to make it as comfortable for her as possible.
"And you just took him away! Just...like...that. He won't even know I'm gone. He won't...remember." She looked up at him with angry, accusing eyes again. She refused to surrender even in death and Angel suddenly realized there was still a small piece of the Faith he knew in this woman. This stranger who held the face of a girl he thought he knew.
"It had to be done. We have to make sacrifices, Faith. For him."
"Wasn't right, what you did." She insisted adamantly. "You did it for yourself. Never figured you to be the selfish type."
Angel's expression darkened. "You think it was easy? We have to make sacrifices for the ones we love, Faith. We have to."
Faith shook her head at him, hissing at the pain the movement caused her. "Nuh-uh, I know sacrifices when I see one but this...this, I think, goes into the can't ever forgive you for category, Fang. This is no sacrifice. This is running away when shit hits the fan."
"And you'd know a lot about that, right?" He snapped and as soon as the words escaped his lips, Angel was sorry. "I'm sorry, okay, Faith. I am so sorry." Angel didn't know what else to say to her. She had threatened, pleaded, cried, and kicked the crap out of him and all Angel could say was sorry. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."
"I love him, you know. Honest."
He nodded. "I know, Faith. I know."
"No, no, you don't." She rasped. Angel could feel her heart slowing. Soon, it would be over. Still, she fought to speak. "When...when the Powers gave him to me, I was scared out of my mind. Shit in your pants kind of scared." She laughed weakly. "They handed me this wailing little baby and told me to call him Connor. No manuals or any of that shit. Then...then I wasn't in Kansas anymore, and definitely no yellow brick road to follow." She paused, breathing heavily. "And this...this baby is looking at me like I was....you don't know what it's like. Having someone look at you like the sun rises and set with you, loving you...just because."
"Faith-"
"And you fight for him, you know...because you don't want to disappoint him. Even when he already thinks your perfect. Didn't want to fuck it up. You don't get do-overs...with children. I'd know." Faith inhaled deeply, her face contorting in anguish. "I can't just let him go. I can't." She lifted her hand to touch his face. "You have to undo it, Angel."
Angel shut his eyes tightly and pressed his forehead against her cheek. "I can't."
Then her hand slipped from his face and he could no longer hear the faint thump, thump, thump of her heart. She laid perfectly still in his arms, her eyelids half open and her mouth parted slightly as if she had more to argue. Angel scowled, wiped the clumpy strands of wet hair away from her ashen face and clutched her tighter a little while longer.
A homeless man passed, eyeing him warily, as he continued to push his cart away. Angel glared back through the increasing rain.
Suddenly, the body in his arms jerked and Angel practically dropped her. Faith rolled onto her side and away from him, groaning in pain.
"Jesus Christ on a cracker! That hurt!" Faith exclaimed loudly as she pulled the pipe out of her. The wound in her chest disappeared, muscles and flesh weaving together to make her whole again.
Angel gaped. "What-"
"Was that?" Faith said flippantly as she tossed long strands of hair away from her shoulder and strolled to where she last dropped her weapon. The sword scraped against the gravel, making a long scratching noise. She shrugged and walked over to where Angel still sat.
"But you died."
"When you got a dhampir to raise and two hundred years to spare, a girl picks up a few tricks, alright?" She connected her boot with his chest and from the crunching noise it made, Faith knew a rib or two had broken. "Okay, we're going to try this again. Undo the spell you cast on Connor or I won't be nice anymore. Please."
Angel glowered at her defiantly. "He's gone, Faith."
Faith pursed her lips and frowned at him. "I'm going to make this life hell for you if you don't give me what's mine, Angel."
"You think he'll be proud of you? You think you'd look the same in his eyes after he learns what you've done?"
"My son knows I'd turn this world upside down and then some to get him back." She said through gritted teeth. "You don't just get to decide for us."
"He's my son, Faith!"
Faith released her foot from his chest and knelt in front of Angel. Her expression softened slightly and she leaned forward and kissed him. "When Connor was ten I looked at him and saw you staring back at me. And I knew he was yours. I thought of you everyday since then, afraid of the day you take him away from me. Guess that's now." She gripped his chin and kissed him again, brutally this time, biting his lip until she drew blood. "You better be prepared to kill me, Fang, because I'm never giving him back to you now. Not this way." Faith breathed into his mouth just as she thrust her sword into his chest and twisted the metal. "I better get to work with the hacking and whacking of your loved ones. A lady always keeps her promise, you know?"
"I'll kill you."
"Looking forward to it. See you around, princess." Faith grinned widely as she pulled her weapon and walked away from Angel.