Written for comment_fic on livejournal
Prompt was for H/H, And the press went wild.
The first time they kissed in public, it was just a light peck on the lips. But the press went _wild_.
It was similar the next time, when Hammer swept Horrible off his feet, held him in his arms, and gave him a long, sloppy kiss. The fans screamed, and flashbulbs were going off everywhere.
But after awhile, the press got tired of the story. They wanted one of them to cheat, or to dump the other, or at least to adopt and/or clone some cute mad-scientist babies. Preferably the kind with giant adult-brains on baby-sized bodies. TMZ loved those.
But it was just more of the same. Hammer and Horrible making out in public, tongues going who knows which way. Smiles and hand-holding and maybe an occasionaly standing fuck in an alleyway. Nobody was really all that interested. It was old news.
"We did on Mount Rushmore, and it's not even in the paper!" Hammer said in surprise one morning.
"I know, great, right?" Horrible said.
"We were on Washington's nose!"
"Yeah, I'll never look at a quarter the same way again," Horrible said with a smirk.
Captain Hammer sighed. "Do you think your plan worked TOO well maybe?"
"This is what we wanted, Hammy. For them to leave us alone and let us live our lives."
"I know. But let's face it. I'm a superhero and you're a supervillain. We're not exactly presidents of the Humble Obscurity Club."
"I would imagine they might have trouble convincing _any_ of their members to be club president."
"I'm serious. I mean, don't get me wrong, your plan to be ignored was perfect."
"It was genius."
Hammer rolled his eyes. "Yes, fine, it was genius. But let's go back to how it was. Let's be the center of attention again, Horrible!"
"If that's really what you want, sweetie."
"It is."
"Okay-dokey. I'll try to end the world this afternoon and you stop me and say that you want to break up because I'm eeeeevil. Seriously, say it like that."
"Okay. But we're not really breaking up."
"Of course not. It's all for the press."
"Great! And you're not really going to end the world, right?"
"Not if you stop me."
"But - what if I don't? I mean, what if there's traffic and I'm late or something?"
"Then press attention will be the last of your worries. I've got to go now, big plans for today. See you later, hot stuff."
"That's a joke right? You're going to purposely let me stop you in time, right? Horrible? Right? Why are you walking so fast?"