Black Winged Angel
Chapter 1: Ponderings
by Ice Lioness
InuYasha Fan Fiction
Rating: R (Attempted suicide, foul language, rape, sexual situations)
Status: 1 of ?? Posted
Couple: Sesshoumaru x Kagome; Implied InuYasha x Kagome
Summary: Is happiness a right or is it a privilege? Do we fight for it in need or merely in an act of virtue or honor? What really is happiness...?
Started: Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 02:59:31
Finished: Thursday, February 15, 2007 – 05:36:27
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha nor any of it's characters. InuYasha is property of Viz Media and Rumiko Takahashi.
(Authors Note)
Ice Lioness: Happy New Year! In February...! Ahem. Well, this is my first writing of the new year. To be honest I have no idea where I am going with this story. I just got a plot in mind and so I'm gonna go to town with it.
InuYasha?So, what's it really about anyway?
Ice Lioness: Well, it's rather dark and angsty so if you aren't a fan of the genre then I suggest you turn away now cause you really aren't going to like it.
InuYasha: Why the hell would you want to write something like that?
Miroku::Whaps InuYasha in the head with his staff.:: I think what he means to say, is what brought this on?
Ice Lioness: Honestly I don't know. I feel like the sudden topic is focused on myself personally write now as well as I wish to expand my knowledge in writing more morbid pieces. Anyway, I'll answer any questions and tell more about the story in the next chapter.
Shippo: Enjoy!

Black Winged Angel - Chapter 1: Ponderings
"My skin is my canvas, a razor my paintbrush, watch me make a masterpiece." - Anonymous

What is happyness? Is it something we are born with having the right to? Or is it something we must earn? Or maybe...maybe happyness is just a dream. An illusion we humans have created as a defense mechanism to protect our hearts from the harsh realities of the world. Can we depend on someone else to make us happy? Or do we reserve our trust to our instincts?

Once long ago I believed in naivity that if we tried our hardest to please the world, the world would return the favor. It took two years of watching the one I love run into the arms of another before I changed my morals and the way I see life. It took one half demon and one undead priestess two years to destroy fifteen years of my mothers teachings. Then, it took one demon and one night beneath a star filled sky to learn that happyness is a form of hope that we humans cling to.

Blinking I turned my gaze to the demon beside me who roused me from my musings with the feel of a clawed hand against the bare skin of my back. The aforementioned demon slid his hand to my side and used his arm to pull to towards his naked body and with a tilt of his head, into a searing kiss. Lifting my hands from the warm water of the hot springs I set them against his chest, tracing each muscle I had long since memorized. I felt his arm slide up my back till his hand came to rest on my cheek, the rest of his body shifting to press into mine. It was then I could feel the pressure of his stiff erection against the belly, the evidence of his want.

Another thing this demon had taught me. Love and sex are as different as night and day. They didn't walk hand in hand as I had been taught, no. One need not be in love to engage in sex of any kind. It was about being in the moment or in the mood, sometimes both.

His gentle motions quickly turned rough and the hand on my cheek moved swiftly to grip my hair and his kiss became bruising, but I welcomed the pain in a way no woman should. With a powerful kick of his legs he propelled his body up the steady incline of smooth rocks, breaking the kiss in the process. I could feel my lips swollen from the rough kiss but I ignored them, focusing my attention on all the alabaster skin brought to my gaze and the slightly darker mass between his legs, shrowded mildly in silver curls.

I licked my reddened lips in anticipation as he used his powerful hand to jerk my head down to take the silk covered steel into my mouth. He growled deep within his chest and jerked his hips up slightly to force his engorged length further past my lips and I had to fight the urge to gag. Before he could insist further I became to move my head and twirl my tongue around his manhood in a way I knew he enjoyed. My actions were greeted by a growl of encouragement and the demons grip on my raven locks to loosen.

I moved my hands to his hips, slowly sliding one down to brace against his thigh as I bobbed my head along his arousal. As his body began to tense and near its climax he grips the back of my head tightly once again, though this time he holds it in place and thrusts his hips several times before pushing as deep as he can and stilling. As his white hot seed hit the back of my throat I felt the muscles contract, forcing me to gag and some of the liquid to dribble down my chin. He pulls my head back, till his arousal slides from my lips with a small pop.

I swallowed the remnants of his climax then wiped my chin clean before looking up at the demon. I noticed just in time to see him sliding back into the water and his one hand running through his silver tresses as his soaks them in the warm waters before applying an herbal mixture.

Shifting, I turned away from him to take up residence on the other side of the spring and return to my thoughts. It had been three weeks after I broke things off with InuYasha and seven months ago that I first bathed with the demon lord. He hadn't been my first, but to his prowess I had felt like a virgin all over again. His technique had been perfected and sculptured by lovers both skilled and innocent alike, whereas InuYasha had been clumsy and self-satisfying.

I picked my shampoo from the pile of toweltries beside the spring and applied a small amount to my palm before returning it to the bank. Lathering the strawberry scented cleanser I then massaged it into my hair and scalp, my eyes straying to the silent form across the spring. He is no longer in the water but rather now fixing the last piece of armor on as he prepares to depart.

"Sesshoumaru."

His name falls from my lips with an emotion we both know so well. My only answer is a smirk and a short nod before he disappears in the foilage. An unspoken promise gaurantees he will return another night to finish what he has started and a breath a small sigh of relief cultured from a well fed and hungering lust.

I go about finishing the rest of my bath before climbing out and drying off. Durng my three years in the feudal era my wardrobe slowly shifted from my sailor uniform to pants and shirts of various kinds. I began bringing pajama's which originally consisted of sweats and long sleeved shirts to tank tops and boxers. Pulling on my sleeping attire I then gather my towel, dirty clothes, and soaps then head back to our camping site.

I walk in to the usual scene of InuYasha and Shippo arguing, the fox child struggling to flee the half demons grasp.

"Sit!" The word slides past my lips in an automatic fashion, an action that no longer requires thought. A string of curses flow from the new hole in the ground.

Shippo wastes no time running from the grounded half demon. The young fox boy takes his usual place on my shoulder, his safe haven from the loud white earred half breed. Over the course of time the little fox demon had grown minutely, allowing him to remain light enough to perch like a parrot on my shoulders.

I kneel beside my yellow back and put away my clothing and toiletries then procede to lay out my sleeping bag. By now the spell on InuYasha had worn off, allowing the half breed to leap into the nearest tree. Miroku is perched at the base of a nearby tree, halfway between myself and Sango, the demon slayer having been the first to lay out her bedding. As I settle into my sleeping bag Shippo makes his way in, snuggling into a spot halfway down the bag.

With my back to the rest of the camps occupants I can hear the shuffling of Miroku's robes as he leans towards the fire in the center, using a few hand fulls of dirt to put out the flames for the night.

After a few murmured 'good evenings' and wishes of pleasant dreams the camp falls into silence. As everyone falls asleep around me I take the quiet and silence to ponder my thoughts once again.

During the two years InuYasha and I had been together only a handful of times did he sleep beside me without the thought of sex. Or, possibly he thought about it though settled instead for a few heated kisses and a couple warm hugs. However, not once in the seven months me and Sesshoumaru have been 'together' have I ever slept beside him. Our meetings are made in secret are meant for one thing and one thing only, satisfying the gnawing hunger of our bodies, the craving and the aching left behind by lust.

At times, as I stop and think about things the last few years, I sometimes feel I have a deeper relationship with Sesshoumaru than I ever did with InuYasha. InuYasha and I used to have the occasional deep conversation lasting well into the dawn. The longest sentence Sesshoumaru ever spoke to me was to ask if I had some way of preventing pregnancy. Before any of this ever happened I had been pretty sure that Sesshoumaru would never want to be the reason a half breed was born into the world.

Sighing softly I close my eyes, welcoming the tired pull of my body and ignoring my thought filled mind. InuYasha told us earlier that we wouldn't stop tomorrow until we reached the next village, even if it took us till sun up the next day. I wrap my arms around the little fox boy, allowing his steady breathing and light snore lull me to sleep.

(Authors Note)
Ice Lioness: All right, well, there is the first chapter. I'm done for the night though I should have the next chapter posted within the next couple of days.
InuYasha: Why is it every time you right a story, I don't get the girl?!
Ice Lioness: Because I don't want you to have the girl...?
InuYasha::Fumes in the corner.::
Ice Lioness: Anyway, preview for the next chapter is below. Until next time!
Miroku: Please leave your comments and criticism before going!

Next Chapter - Chapter 2: Future
Kagome returns home and further reflects on the changes in herself and those back home.