I should have known.
B'Elanna's feelings followed Harry out the door. She declined his offer to see Tom off, having nothing to say to the former pilot. She couldn't in good conscience wish him luck when she wanted him to stay, but she couldn't ask him to stay when he was obviously unhappy.
He wouldn't talk about it, rebuffing her efforts to reach out to him, forcing her to stand on the sidelines watching as his dissatisfaction grew. He would rather drift through Delta Quadrant, the only one of his species than remain on Voyager. It didn't make sense for a sociable guy like Tom.
Why would anyone choose to be alone?
His friendship with Harry seemed genuine. If that couldn't hold him here, then nothing could. B'Elanna would do what she could for their mutual friend but would keep her distance. She couldn't chance it. When she became close to people, they left, one way or another.
Her tentative friendship with Tom, still in its early stages, was strong enough for her to feel loss when Harry told her the news. B'Elanna fought hard against allowing someone new into her life, but his behavior on the Vidian outpost broke through her walls. At least he wasn't disappearing without a trace like others in her life. B'Elanna didn't like it but could do nothing to stop it. Best to just go on with her life, pretending she'd never known him. This way there was no pain. Just a deep, overwhelming, nothing.
"So that's what happened," Harry said. She purposely refused to react as she began the diagnostic program. She needed to bring the shields back online, both physical and personal. That would take some doing. Michael was the traitor. Michael, whom she had known for years. They weren't close, but still-
Don't think about it.
"Tom is pretty battered and bruised, but the Doc says he'll be ok." B'Elanna turned away from Harry to check something on a padd. His expectant tone was a cue for her to respond.
"That's good to know," she murmured. "So are the Talaxian going to come back to get him?"
"What? No! They aren't coming back to get him!" His spluttering made her turn around to face him.
"You mean even the Talaxians got tired of Tom and kicked him off their ship?" She asked, her sarcasm half-hearted
"No, B'Elanna. Tom never intended to leave the ship! Not permanently anyway. Without any encouragement from her, Harry launched into a detailed description of a covert op that was insane but at the same time almost worthy of something the Maquis would do.
"And it worked. Tom is back on Voyager, to stay." Harry's sounded triumphant as if he had carried out the whole mission himself. Of course, he'd show enthusiasm. His best friend was back.
B'Elanna turned back around, her hands gripped the bar circling ring of the warp core. She stared up at it, losing herself in its glowing fluid motion.
He didn't leave.
"Are you ok?" Harry asked, the enthusiasm in his voice went down a notch.
"I'm fine!" She snapped and then instantly regretted it, but this was new territory to her. Part of her wanted to break things in celebration but that wouldn't do.
He didn't abandon us!
"Tom was afraid you would be angry at him. He had to pretend you see, he was under orders,"
"I understand." B'Elanna knew she was coming close to growling. "I'm not angry."
He's still here!
"I mean, he understands if you would be upset at him. It's only natural and-"
This has never happened to me before.
"I told you I'm not angry!" B'Elanna said with force, turning her eyes on Harry, causing him to take a step back, and his eyes full of apprehension. Then she laughed out loud, allowing her volume to increase to counter the growing confusion on Harry's face. How very Klingon of me. Part of her wanted to slap him on the back and ask him to join her in sharing some blood wine, but that only lasted a few seconds. She needed to calm down.
"I'm ok Harry. I'm happy about Tom. I really am," she trying her best to steady her tone. Harry took one step back, apparently not convinced.
"Good," he said. "Good, I'm glad you're not...angry." He backed away from her, not even turning around when he reached the door, making her feel like royalty.
"So was she mad, or wasn't she?" Tom asked. Harry was accompanying back to his quarters where he had been ordered to stay for the next 24 hours so the bumps and bruises from his lasts adventure could heal.
"I don't know. She said she wasn't but she kept…snapping at me. Then she started laughing. I haven't been around a lot of Klingons, I didn't know what to do, so I just beat a hasty retreat."
"Coward." There was no malice in Tom's words but Harry gave Tom his version of the evil eye anyway.
"Yeah, well. Guilty as charged," he said as they continued their journey down the hallway. "I think you had the right idea, though, have someone else break the news so she could calm down, but maybe the pot is just on simmer. It might eventually boil over."
"I hope she'll eventually get over it. I think I'll just lay low for a while…" he said while turning the corner, surprised by the sight of the chief engineer heading towards him. He braced himself for the oncoming storm that was B'Elanna Torres.
"Tom!" She was all smiles. Tom sent a surreptitious glance toward his friend who shrugged in return. She half ran up to them and for a fraction of a second, Tom thought she was going to hug him. She stopped short of doing that, coming to a halt right in front of him.
"I'm glad you're back. I mean, really glad," she said. Tom had never seen her look like this before. He had seen her laugh, seen her smile but never in a way that caused her whole face to light up.
"I'm…glad to be back," Tom said, warily unable to trust the vision he was seeing in front of him. Who was this and what had she done with B'Elanna? "Listen, I want you to know-"
"You were under orders. It's ok. Somebody had to do it and you were the most logical choice. I mean, could you imagine me or Harry here trying to do something like that?" she giggled. It was a sound he'd never heard before. He wasn't sure what was happening but decided not to question it.
"So no hard feelings? All is forgiven?" He asked, extending his hand. She grabbed it, the tightness of her grip surprising him. It was as strong as his own. He was briefly reminded of the Klingon B'Elanna in the Vidian mines throwing the organ collectors around like toys. The woman in front of him had half that strength but it was still enough to make him wince. He felt relief when she released her hand. Instead of continuing on her way she fell in beside them, clearly intent on accompanying them to wherever they were going.
"Sure. It's fine," she said. "I just saw Neelix, and he wants you to tell your story on Breakfast with Neelix. You would NOT believe the things he said about you, good and bad. He thought you were wonderful, he thought you were a spy and then, well, he'll tell you all about it."
He let her talk. Harry was no help, shrugging his shoulders again when Tom looked to him for an explanation. As the three of them wandered on together Tom's imagination took off its own accord, causing him to wonder, just for a second, what it would be like to hug B'Elanna.