A/N: I'M BACK! Sorry for the hiatus! School got in the way! LAME EXCUSE . Anyways wrote this as a warmup to my other story Memoirs of an Akatsuki Geisha despite them being completely different animes. Hehe.

Summary: "Near? Does Okasan hate me?" The onslaught of questions from those two children who resemble him far too much. Sayu emotionally scarred due to her kidnapping goes over events in life in twisted way. How she received something she never anticipated from Mello. As such Near tries to get her to talk yet she's in her own world. She is mute and her new family has never heard their Okasan speak.

Pairing(s): Angsty: SayuxMello | Friendship: MattxSayu (He is her comfort when Mello's mad) | IF YOU SQUINT: NearxSayu (one-sided on Near's part)

Rating: T for implied themes and loss of sanity.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. If I did then the aftermath of the serious would be shown in great detail and SayuxMello would have been touched upon a little bit more.

"Why do we live here in England?"

"Does Okasan hate me?"

"Why doesn't Okasan talk?"

"Why is Okasan crying?"

"Okasan? Where is Tousan?"

-

Those two would never understand. I was like this for a reason. I refused to speak to ensure my last words were to him and him only. Yet the other one was determined to have me speak. Though every single day I sit here in my wheel chair and gaze out the window. I'm waiting for someone who will never come. On occasion we go outside, ever since Mother died, I was moved here. He visits everyday, talks to me even though I will not respond. The other two now know not to bother me. I can see the hurt in their eyes. No matter how many times I try, I'm now mute. My eyes are dead and if I smile it does not reach my eyes.

I was not always like this. It only happened after he left me. After he died...I lost him. We talked about everything, each day beginning the same. Sometimes our days would end roughly, sometimes sweetly.

I really didn't think something such as that would occur. I was simply a hostage nothing more. I was getting traded for a notebook. Why was it so special?! My questions concerning the notebook were never answered. He would always get mad at me, say, "Tch." and leave. He slapped me once. "Don't ask too many questions, Yagami."

It was a game between me and him really. In the time between he would tell me all sorts of things. I remember asking him why he had three rosaries on him sometimes. He glared but still answered. "Someone needs to pray for them." I didn't know who he was talking about. Either way that simple question opened a whole new subject for him to educate me about. Religion. I would like to consider myself an Atheist. He explained his religion to me. He was Catholic. He went in-depth of what he did concerning his religion. I found it interesting.

The most memorable conversations that we had together were our views of what Kira did, who was Near, and of course...chocolate.

His friend....no, he was my friend too, would come in soon afterward and talk a little to me. He told me a lot about himself and the blonde. How he was dragged to church every week; how the blonde disliked being beaten; how he himself disliked the smell of chocolate. The gamer would tell me all sorts of things and when the blonde had calmed down he would come back.

Afterwards when it became quite late, the gamer would leave us alone. The first time it had been awkward, guessed movements. Yet we both were able to conform to each other. He wasn't one for sweet loving gestures. He liked getting to the point. Afterwards we would talk once again.

However I hadn't expected the outcome of being with him would be...well like this. I was willing but still. When I had come back the doctors had only examined my mind. I was subjected through a small physical and I was done. They said the lack of my monthly due to post traumatic stress. They said I might take some time to adjust once again, and that I see a shrink. Yet too bad, so sad I was at the point of no return.

I had a terrifying dream concerning both him and the gamer. The gamer had been shot repeatedly smoking with his last breath. I remember screaming at the gunners to stop but they simply uttered two words, "For Kira."

The scene changed, I was at an abandoned church. I sat next to someone in a car. It was him, the blonde. He clutched his chest as if pained. The other two if I remembered correctly were usually kept in a special box. He was fingering the rosary as his last moments flashed by quickly. He was having a heart attack. I could see the words which he whispered. He taught me the prayers; he said that in English the words sounded strange. He enjoyed saying them in the original language, Latin. He showed me a variety of languages; I had neglected the obvious and selected a language I found so much nicer sounding then my own...Spanish. He explained that he had first learned the prayer in German.

"Amen."

The scene before me was engulfed in flames before I could say anything...I screamed.

It was a nightmare that has happened again and again. On the exact same day. Every year I would dream of their deaths. I would never know for sure how they died, how could I?

They friends who had trusted me yet I failed. I couldn't stop them from dying. They revealed their most well hidden secrets from me. I kept it, tucked away in my mind, despite Raito's insistence that I tell him the names of my kidnappers. My face remained blank, un-changing, dead. To tell the truth I wanted to be dead. I could go join them in that place that he spoke so fondly of.

I have yet to die, I'm still stuck here, rotting away slowly but surely. The knowledge that there going to taken care of offers a small comfort. I wonder what he would make of them...His children. They look like him, almost like clones. One boy. One girl. I think they would have made him very happy. For them I was truly grateful, despite their constant questions.

All the while, this Near, the other one has been playing with several tarot cards. Building a fortress, all the while observing me. "The Imitation has been taken care of if you must know." I paid him no heed.

I'm still sane...at least I hope so. I am mute, however I will always remember. I am a mere doll, a shell, a husk, a ghost.

Yet inside, locked away in the recesses of my mind, my body...my very soul were the last words I spoke.

"I love you...."

I had paused then, and whispered into the air.

"Mihael Keehl."

But you're dead. You're dead along with Mail because of Kira....because of my brother, Raito.

A/N: If you don't get it here's explanation time. Mello and Sayu fell victim to Lima/Stockholm Syndrome. Yes they did do it. (Several times) Due to her deep attachment to Mello she is emotionally scarred. Her dreams are based on something she saw while in her dead state, so yes somewhere deep inside she knows how both of them died thanks to the news. She is quite smart so I decided for her to figure out that her brother is in fact Kira based on things seen in her dead state and putting things together later on. Yes she did have children and no they did not believe her to be pregnant neither did she, until she visited her doctor a month or so later for a better health exam. Time wise this takes place during the oneshot at the end of the manga, during "C-KIRA" and the Tarot Card Castle Fetish that Near had going on at the time. BTW the Children are obviously fraternal twins, both looking like their father. The questions in the beginning are ones that are asked everyday.

Now please Review and tell me wha'cha think! Mucho luff! *hands out virtual cookies* =]