Aspirations

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Spoilers.

Rena Ryuuguu was a great detective.

If you take the tiniest atom, split it into protons, electrons, and neutrons, along with its gooey, chocolate-coated center, Rena would know where everything was and where it belonged. From the valency of the outer shell to exact atomic mass and weight down to the thousandth place; she knew it all.

But she wanted more.

In the month of June of the year 1983, she had found her calling. From the many imports that came from the United States into Hinamizawa, the novels and comic books that lined the shelves of the local toy store belonging to Mion's uncle were considered a necessity. Gathering what she could, Rena set out to find her mentor.

Sherlock Holmes was a wise choice, however, he was simply too...English. Nancy Drew was below her skill level and would only drag her down. The Hardy Boys and Boxcar Children contained plots with more than one person solving the mystery, so that was just pure bullshit.

Sighing, Rena moved onto the comic books, her expectations lowered to the bottom of the barrel. However, one name caught her eye.

Batman.

Flipping through the colorful illustrations, she took in the atmosphere and the world of the Dark Knight. She followed his crime-fighting career, impressed by using only his wits and stamina to survive the life-threatening peril he constantly faced due to the many supervillains out for his blood. A master detective, the Batman solved every crime without even batting (HAH!) an eyelid. To her credit, they did have many similarities. They both had major emotional trauma involving their parents, which gave birth to alter egos: Rena her "cute" persona after the divorce and HIS parents...well, it was more melodramatic. They both had a certain vigilante flair, with Rena going behind the back of many friends and the police to find the truth. Batsy did the same, although it also involved bashing people through windows and hanging them from five stories high. Rena opted for the cleaver. No small-time crook in Hinamizawa could ever outwit her, being caught easily by her cute-themed traps. This method, she dubbed, was "taking it home".

Depressed over the divorce of her parents (similar in a fashion, no?), Rena donned the mantle. She commissioned Satoko and her knowledge of traps to make her equipment and whatnot. Honing her detective skills to the pinnacle of human ability, she easily solved the murders of Watanagashi-hen and Tatarigoroshi-hen. Rena was ready to combat any threat to her friends and the village, including psychotic, delusional women who planned to activate certain emergency plans in case a village full of people reacted violently to the death of a blue-haired girl and were infected by a mind-controlling parasite, giving said woman a good excuse to gas the entire village just to fulfill a twisted wish to pacify her grandfather issues. Just saying.

A few story arcs later, during the end of Matsuribayashi-hen, when Takano turned towards the main group and fired her last bullet; Rena, with lightning quick speed, reached into her utility belt, grabbed a Batarang, and tossed. Not even Hanyuu, a god, Lord Oyashiro, with the greatest of mystical, supernatural powers, were a match for the Goddamned Batman. The horned girl stepped into the bullet's path in a desperate attempt to perform a miracle and save the day before it was too late. Know it was not Hanyuu that saved them but-

The bat-shaped projectile whirled through the air, RIGHT INTO THE BULLET'S TRAJECTORY, KNOCKING IT ASIDE. THEN IT FLEW INTO TAKANO'S HAND, KNOCKING THE HANDGUN ASIDE, INTO TAKANO'S FACE, SCARRING HER AND KNOCKING HER ASS FLAT INTO THE MUD.

Rena towered over her opponent, savoring her victory.

"Are you dense? Are you retarded? I'm the goddamned Batman and I'm going to fucking take you home whether you like it or not."

That's how awesome she was.

Rena Ryuuguu was still a great detective, but this time was also the goddamned, mother-fucking, bitch-slapping, ass-kicking Batman.

With a cleaver.

THE END