If Life was Perfect

Summary - If life was perfect, I would have ended up with him in the end.

Disclaimer - I do not own Harry Potter.

The girl always gets the hero in the end. In every perfect scenario, the boy goes off to fight evil, comes back, and kisses the girl. In every perfect scenario, there's a happy ending for everyone. In every perfect scenario, everything happens for a reason, but life is not perfect. Life does not always have the endings you wish for.

If life had been perfect, he would have returned after a day.

Harry had gone off to defeat Voldemort. He left a few days before graduation. Ron and I didn't hear from him for three days, then he miraculously came back. I remember we were standing outside, taking care of the Death eaters that had attacked the castle, when he walked up in all his glory.

If life had been perfect, he would have been greeted by the girl who loved him.

My breath caught, and I froze. Relief flooded through me, and I felt tears stream down my face. I was about to run to him, hug him, and thank God he was alright, but she had gotten there first.

If life was perfect, he wouldn't have kissed her like he did.

I watched him embrace her. Precious, little Ginny. He twirled her around, never letting her fall. Ron glanced at me, sympathy, evident in his eyes. I looked at him, and smiled, though he knew it didn't reach my eyes. I turned my attention back to him, and saw it. Harry smiled down at Ginny, then kissed her passionately. I had to blink away the tears.

If life was perfect, he'd pull away now.

Harry didn't. I felt Ron's gaze burning into me. He was the only one who knew how I felt, he was the only one who knew I cared more than I let on. When they finally pulled away, he walked towards us.

If life was perfect, I would be able to magically not feel the way I did.

But I did. I felt hurt and pain. I knew it was selfish, he had just saved the world, and here I was, upset because he didn't love me. I knew it was wrong. He loved the only girl I considered my sister, but I couldn't face that.

If life was perfect, I could have run from him.

But I couldn't. I stood, froze within my own pain. He had a bright smile on his face, and an arm around her. He hugged Ron, and they spoke a few admiring words, as I stood silent. Ginny hugged me as well, but I didn't move.

If life was perfect, he wouldn't of hugged me the way he did.

Harry turned from Ron to be, and gave me a cheerful smile. He embraced me. At first I couldn't function. I just stood there as I had done with Ginny, but this was Harry. I knew he would assume something was wrong with me, so I hugged him back.

If life was perfect, I would have cried, and yelled then.

But I didn't. I smiled. I said I was proud of him. He didn't hear me though. All his attention was focused on her.

If life was perfect, he wouldn't be walking away with her, arm-in-arm.

Yet, he was. Ron hugged me. I held him back, and finally let my tears flow freely, since now there was no one there to hold them back. Ron spoke comforting words, and tried to get me to look on the bright side, or make me laugh. I did a little, but he knew it wasn't going to take the pain away, only distract it.

If life was perfect, three years wouldn't of past, and he still wouldn't be with her.

But three years did pass, and he still was with her.

If life was perfect, he wouldn't be marrying her.

But he is. He's smiling at her, putting the ring on her finger, while I stand here and watch. Ron gives me a knowing look, filled with concern and sympathy, identical to the one he gave me so long again on that field.

If life was perfect they would have split up.

Yet they didn't.

If life was perfect, they wouldn't be having a child.

But they are.

If life was perfect, I wouldn't have left.

But I did, I left for awhile, only coming back when I heard he was sick. Ginny was dead by then, we all had grown older, much older.

If life had been perfect, he wouldn't be dying right now.

Yet he is. I'm sitting here now with him, after years of being apart. He's telling me that he's sorry I left. He feels responsible for it, he tells me he doesn't understand, or know why I left.

If life was perfect, I could tell him I loved him.

But I can't.

If life was perfect, I could pour everything out that I've kept in for so long.

But I don't. I take his hand in mine, and tell him it wasn't his fault. I tell him that I'm sorry I left that day, and that he had nothing to do with it. He smiles, at me, then closes his eyes, and I watch him sleep.

If life had been perfect, it would have been me he kissed that day. If life had been perfect, it would have been me he married. If life had been perfect, it would of have been me he had children with. If life had been perfect, it would have been me that grew old with him. If life had been perfect, I wouldn't be sitting here watching him slowly die in his sleep.

Life isn't perfect. Sometimes you don't always get the happy endings you want, or deserve. Sometimes you get a lifetime of pain, a lifetime of grief, wondering why life couldn't be perfect.

Author's Note - Just another little fic I wrote because of confused feelings. In case you didn't know, it's from Hermione's point of view. The latest chapter of Unyielding Love is up, and so is my other one-shot Confusion. Please review, and tell me what you thought!