Disclaimer: I do not own Big Wolf on Campus sadly…

AN: Here is my second story for BWOC. Thank you everyone who read and reviewed the last story, I hope you guys like this one! It doesn't go in complete order with the episode, detail wise so please excuse the minor stuff!

Warning: Self mutilation yeah I know it's another depressing one, kind of…

0000000000

Bookmobile-What if Merton had a reason why he did not want his palm scanned?

Normal POV

Merton never thought that cutting would turn out to be beneficial for him; it saved his life as weird as that was. It was not because he felt better when he did it, or that is seemed to take more pain away than it gave, but it saved him from being turned into a book. Tommy would have never figured out that the librarian of the bookmobile had been turning people into books on his own. Merton would have been doomed forever. Since meeting Tommy Dawkins, Merton was glad that he had not tried hurting himself as much as he used to. Tommy was Merton's only friend, before that he was just invisible to the world, even his own family ignored him. He was very surprised that for being as big of a wimp as he was; he loved the way the pain felt, but only when he had control of it. If someone else was inflicting pain on him, it made him more scared of everything else.

It was kind of funny how it all started. One day after school, Merton was in the lair when he tripped and fell. He tried to catch himself, but ended up cutting his hand on a silver dagger hanging off the edge of his desk.

"Stupid, clumsy…" Merton started mumbling to himself about all the times he had tripped for no reason. He had actually cut his hand pretty badly, but all he could do was stare at the wound. As the blood rushed out, all the emotional pain in his life seemed to go with it. It almost felt…good. Merton quickly shook the thoughts from his head and went to the bathroom to fix his hand.

The rest of the night and next day all he could think about was the cut on his hand. He could not believe how much better he felt when it happened. It was like a relief coming over him. Merton sat alone in his lair like he always did. Still, all he could think about was the event that occurred the day before. He stared at the dagger that created the cut he thought about so much. He had been contemplating what to do for hours. Was he really going to turn into a stereotypical Goth? Why was it always assumed they were depressed and have that urge to hurt themselves?

"I guess because it's true." Merton hated that he was about to conform, but it wasn't his fault to begin with right? He picked up the dagger and cut his arm about as deep as the first cut. He sighed, he knew it was stupid, but it felt so good.

And that's how it began, every time Merton had a problem, got hurt at school, got depressed, anything, he would cut, hit, burn himself, anything that could take the pain away. It went on for a couple of years until he met Tommy. Tommy looked out for him and protected him against the minor evils in the world. Once Tommy actually said that they were friends; that was the day Merton decided to stop hurting himself. Of course this was a lot easier said than done, but he tried. It was getting better, he had not hurt him self in about week, but then he had a slip up.

He found a loop hole to Tommy's werewolf problem, he was really excited about the whole thing, but slowly realized everything would go back to normal. The way it was before he had a friend. It was a bad day, first Tommy told him he would not transfer his werewolf powers to him, then T.N.T tormented him all day, and then to top it all off, Becky gave him all the pictures from upstairs, because she was to ashamed of him to let her friends know he was her brother. Merton stared at that dagger again, he did not want to cut but he could not help it. Technically he didn't cut this time though, he just grabbed the dagger and squeezed it as hard as he could. It was hard to let go of the dagger, but eventually he dropped it and let out a deep breath. He had almost forgotten how good it felt. Merton went through his usual routine of cleaning the wound; he realized though that his cut was a little more noticeable than the others. He usually just wore long sleeves, not that anyone ever noticed. He rummaged through his stuff and found black fingerless gloves.

"Perfect." Just as Merton was putting them on Tommy knocked on the door. He promised Merton that after practice he would go with him to the bookmobile that was in town. Tommy didn't think to ask about why he suddenly put gloves on, but Tommy was not the smartest guy in the world so even if Merton didn't have the gloves on, he probably would not have noticed.

"Hey ready?"

"Uh…yeah." Merton looked down and noticed the bloody dagger on the ground; he had not had the chance to clean it yet. He kicked it under his desk as he stood up. He was right Tommy was stupid.

At the bookmobile Merton tried checking out a book, but the crazy librarian tried scanning his palm. He knew he did not want her to take off his gloves just in case he underestimated Tommy's intelligence. He had to keep his cutting a secret at least until he stopped completely. Then again it saved his life this time; maybe it would do it again.