Author's Note: Rated M for intended sexual activity later in the story, violence, and language. This fic will start out following a general plotline from the show and then take a wild turn sometime, I'm sure of it. Definite supernatural elements will come later.
Risk Everything
Chapter 1: Mary, Confused
Mary scrambled away from the rock on the edge of the lake, clutching her stomach and trying to ignore the weight of his eyes on her back. She felt bile rise up in her throat from a combination of an excess of wine and adrenaline. Her footsteps grew more frantic and her scramble turned into a sprint. The folds of the long dress caused her to stumble more than once, but her fear and excitement drove her forward. Shouts and laughter drifted from the pavilions and tables set up near the water to host the party; Mary could not bear to return and escaped from the expecting eyes of her four ladies-in-waiting. The soft flats she wore thudded on the stairs as she ran past bewildered looking guards into her chambers. Finally, she collapsed on the bed and fully absorbed what she had done.
The guilt, the excitement, the fear, all of it, was coursing through her. The wine was making her dizzy and she was afraid she might faint. Mary resolved herself and calmed her breathing, 'I am the Queen of Scots. Whatever I choose to do, I must choose it as Queen.' Mary had never asked for her queenhood, but she always clung to her duty in times of confusion, and this time was no different. At last, the tension flew from her body as a ship's sails deflating. She cleared her head and licked her lips, ready to make a decision. But that was a mistake; she could still taste him there, the flavor of his lips. Mary's hand began to shake again, but she stopped it abruptly and centered herself. Her mind paid no heed and drifted back to Sebastian.
'Sebastian…Bash,' her eyes began to sting with guilt, 'that poor, sweet boy.' But the way he had kissed her had been neither poor nor sweet, nor had it been done like a boy. Indeed, compared to Sebastian, Francis seemed like a child playing at being a man. Francis towered over Mary when they had kissed, grabbing her face and kissing her like he was pouring his soul into her; his spirit had choked and shoved her. Francis kissed her like he could not live without her, but not because of his love. Francis' gaze, as well as his touch, had always been full of expectation, even when they were children together. Mary and Francis had never had the luxury of just love, yes, there was love, but to Francis, Mary was the pathway to power, wealth, kinghood, and heirs. Their marriage would never be about just love. Francis expected so much of her and Mary is not sure she's ready to give it.
Sebastian, on the other had, was a different story. His touch was strong, but never domineering. Mary sensed his desire for her, but she knew he could survive without her. Sebastian had always been strong and so apt at accepting rejection. When his father rejected him as his heir, when his mother told him he couldn't stay in the same wing of the castle as Francis, and now, surely, as his brother will reject him when he finds out Mary and Bash have shared a kiss, for Francis was always the jealous type. Bash's rejection was the source of Mary's guilt; Francis, she decided, did not deserve her remorse. An illicit kiss was no match for his blatant adultery with Olivia, pre-marriage or not. Mary must tell Bash nothing could come of this, she was loath to lead him on. Mary did not feel like it was leading him on though. Prior to their kiss, such a short time ago, she thought of Bash as handsome and loyal and lonely, but the kiss had blown away the fog of Francis' power over her and she realized her heart was split. Francis had been a dam in her heart that was splintering ever since she had arrived at court, and now the deluge had come and the fondness Mary felt for Bash had come with it out of hiding.
Quite awhile had passed while Mary lie on her bed, surrounded by pillows pressing on every side, but the cold still crept into her. The last thing Mary wanted to do was hurt Bash, especially since she realized how blind she was to her own feelings, but she must. She could not let it go on. Her ladies would be wanting after her by now.